IN BETWEEN DIMENSIONS: THE RE-UP.

I don't own this show, or any fanfics mentioned or characters, and if I have mentioned a fanfic then it must be one I like. All humor is for fun and laughs and not to be taken seriously in any way. Viewer discretion is advised for crude jokes. Keep calm. It's just for the lol's.

~Natty

Ducks.

"I AM NOT A DUCK! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR STUPID, UGLY, ANNOYING, STUPID HEAD!" Platyborg screamed at the policeman, panting afterwards to catch his breath as he blinked at the police officer guy in front of him. "…I didn't mean that."

"Yes…you did."

"No I didn't."

"Yes….you did."

"Nope."

"Yes…"

"Nuh-uh."

The police man guy sighed "You're a duck."

"I AM NOT A DUCK!"

Burn.

Isabella-2 stared herself up and down, eyes narrowed in concentration. And she thought, maybe it was a good thing that Dictator Doofenshmirtz had banned stand-out colors all that time ago…

Isabella-1 blinked uncomfortably. She felt disturbed at how her counterpart was looking at her, and honestly, a little offended… "Uh, Watcha Doin…?"

"Apparently not Phineas."

Tragedy.

Vanessa-2 was outraged, trying to do everything in her power to change her father's mind. It really wasn't working, and to her, he was being ridiculous. "Dad, you can't just make me DROP OUT of school! You're being over-paranoid!"

Alt. Doof snorted his response to that.

"And you can't keep Platyborg out of school either!" She told him "He has to learn SOMETHING. He can't just go around all his life like he does now. He barely knows how to work a spoon, let alone eat soup!"

From another room, frantic screaming could be heard "DOOF! DOOF! HELP! I'M DROWNING IN MY SOUP!"

Woah.

"So…you're my father?" Phineas blinked up and the scientist was quick to deny.

"No! Phineas, I am not your father! I said that I'm like your father in a way. That's all I me-"

"Then who's my father?"

"I don't-"

"Have you ever met him? Is that how you were able to figure out that you were just like him? And what do you mean you were just like him? Are you saying that you are him?"

"Oh gosh- Perry the Platypus! Could you come here a second?!"

"Perry's my father?"

Rejoice.

"….Come and rejoice with singing~! Fa La La La La~! Fa La La La La~! Fa- La, La, La, Fa, La, La, La~!"

Alt. Doof watched the holiday school concert on screen from his office, frowning as he stared at a much familiar, child-like, performer he had taken care of and an empty, reserved chair. He turned it off before he started crying, and the nasally intern just had to rub it in.

"You do realize you could have gone to the concert." Carl-2 said as the dictator stared at Orville and Platyborg singing side by side in the concert. It didn't go unnoticed at how the madman's son tried to out-sing the cyborg that tried to keep up. And Alt. Doof stared at the other horrible coincidence of him and Rodney's empty reserved seats that were side by side. The intern still went on. "Rodney didn't even show up! At least you tried to go, before you found out that Platyborg and Orville were in the same class that is…"

"I couldn't risk it. You know that…"

"Still…you've got to give the kid props. He is really belting out those high notes-"

"That's enough!" Alt. Doof scowled "I didn't even invite you to my house! What are you doing here?!"

"I get bored." The younger male shrugged.

"You don't have to stay in that monitor room, you know. I don't know why you choose to stay there in the first place! And you only come out of your closet to annoy or assist me! You want to guess which one you're doing right now?"

"Neither. I am simply rejoicing myself in the beauties of angelic-like singing from small children."

Alt. Doof blinked as the intern and turned the screen back on, the small singing voices continuing on and the dictator muttered. "…Platyborg's an okay singer! He's better than that little freak! That's for sure!"

"…If you consider the sound of a cat being scraped against a washboard okay then-"

"Get out, you traitor! You're cheering for the wrong team here, and if you wanted to watch this so much then why didn't you just go to the concert?"

"Are you kidding me? What do I look like? A grown man in all black, sitting down to hear a bunch of horrible sounding, sick, children, singing a bunch of cliché, annoying, Christmas songs?" Carl-2 didn't notice the dictator glaring at him and said. "Hey, maybe that's why Rodney didn't go. What do you thin-"

"GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

Platyborg Style.

Oppan Gangnam Style!

Gangnam Style!

Op op op op oppan Gangnam Style!

Eh~! Sexy lady!

Op op op op oppan Gangnam Style!

Platyborg smiled happily as he danced along to the new hit song. It was so cool! There were Korean AND English words! You couldn't beat that! And it didn't even matter that he didn't know what the heck they were saying. That just added to the mystery of it. He could sing it all day if he wanted! He loved it that much! So, he did. He sang the lyrics as he bounced his knees up and down, moving his wrists and arms. "Na je nun ta sa ro un in gan jo gin yo ja! Ko pi han ja ne yo yu rul a neun pum gyo gi nun yo ja!"

And the dictator stopped mid-step, blinking at the cyborg as he walked into the room. "Platyborg? Did you like, join some type of cult or something?"

"No, I didn't. You said I couldn't do that anymore. You also took all my sheets." The cyborg told him, still dancing.

"Then why are you chanting and doing some type of freaky ritual?"

"I'm singing the latest hit single, and dancing to it."

"Is this what music has resorted to nowadays? Making children join cults with nonsense words?"

Platyborg shook his head, still bouncing his knees. "I don't know what that means, but while I was ignoring you, I thought of my own remix for the song! Wanna hear it?"

"Do I have a choice?"

The cyborg started singing.

"Oh, oh, oh, oh snap!

Platyborg Style!

Eh! Sexy cyborg!

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh snap, Platyborg Style!"

The Meeting.

Alt. Doof didn't know how to feel when he was informed by the agency that they had given up the search for his nemesis, calling it a dead-end. He was hurt, sad, grief stricken, heartbroken, but even more so, the man was confused. Why had the platypus given up its life for his?

Kidnapping.

Again, Alt Doof was hurt, sad, grief stricken and heartbroken as he stared at the lifeless form of his nemesis- now found- dead body. Although all those feelings resurfaced and stirred in him, he found the strongest to be hatred. He felt this emotion deeply as he stared at the plans that Rodney had in store for the body.

In Between Dimensions.

Alt. Doof's heart ached when he found out that what had happened to him and his former nemesis, had happened to their counterparts and had ended so much lighter, with no grave, life changing, consequences. He felt hatred, as he looked down at the smiling cyborg by his side. Hatred for the other him, the other him's nemesis, for Rodney, but more importantly for himself, because he had allowed it all to happen so perfectly.

Realization.

That awkward moment when you realize that the author just told you the story of how Platyborg was born and you go back to re-read it to make sure you got everything.

Seriously.

No, really. Go re-read it.

Thoughts.

Rodrigo thought a lot. About his plans, his future, about how he wasn't going to be a lawyer, about ways to keep the cyborg quiet so he wouldn't get caught. But he mostly thought about Vanessa, and he just couldn't understand why he couldn't think about hurting her, even through other people. So he lowered the gun from Platyborg's head and the animal whimpered at his feet. He patted the thing's black head plate as it cried silently through the gag.

Now he thought about if he would ever be able to pull another trigger ever again.

Sympathetic.

Her father was dead, so was Platyborg, and it was all because of the man in front of her. Vanessa wanted to take the wine bottle she was holding and shatter it over the madman's head, but, she was stopped and calmed, blinking as, instead, she poured the contents of the glass bottle into a fancy glass, handing it to the man, and she wondered, who was that woman with the red, afro-tisque, hair, and why were her eyes filled with so much understanding?

Friendly Game. (continuation of actual story still pending)

Vanessa couldn't control the car and the breaks weren't working. She knew that they were going to crash moments before they actually did. She was wrong. She shouldn't have snuck out of the house and she shouldn't have made Platyborg lie for her. She was going to die, and the cyborg in the passenger seat was going with her. She was a horrible person. She had taken her own life from herself AND she had taken Platyborg's, and, although she hadn't seen as much of life as she wanted to, she knew that Platyborg had seen even less of it. Before impact, she had screamed something to the cyborg and she didn't know what had hit her harder, the air bag, or the Platyborg's smiling reply- seconds before his body slammed against the dashboard- of 'I love you too, sis…'

This is a Backstory.

A very young, 2nd Dimension Roger gasped, covering his mouth as he stared into his older brother's eye as he watched the knife impale into their father's shoulder, the man screaming a cry of pain and obscenities in German. Only after it was pulled out did a young Alt. Doof notice his younger brother standing there, staring at him.

The one eyed boy allowed the weapon to slip out of his fingers, blood staining his small hand from where it had dripped down the knife. He shook his head, backing away as he stared straight back at his younger brother, and he saw pain in Roger's eyes, perhaps more that had been in his father's when he stabbed the man.

He could faintly hear his mother's frantic cries as he ran out the door into the cold night, and he kept going up until the edge of town where the ocean was. He jumped off the dock, emerging from the water to swim to a small boat covered by a tarp. The less than thirteen year old Alt. Doof yanked off the tarp, climbing over the edge of the boat so he could get in. He untied the rope that attached the boat and the post together. They separated, and so did he, from his home, from the body of his deceased sister, from his parents, and from his brother, who, had given a small smile as he sailed away, waving from the dock that Roger had followed him to. He gave a small wave, frowning, as his old life disappeared in the distance, and his new one, appeared over the horizon.

Descendant.

A young Alt. Doof held his knees to his chest, shaking as the small boat sailed along, and finally, after endless sailing, it hit land and settled. Everything was silent, until he heard the pat of footsteps near him and he blinked up at the man who had found him. He hadn't expected the man to take him in so easily, and he hadn't expected stay at the man's house for twice as long as he'd been living on this earth.

And, three decades later, he hadn't expected to go against the man that raised him to protect someone he had taken in and chose to raise himself. He had never expected to legally change his name from Heinz Roddenstein, back to Doofenshmirtz, just so Platyborg wouldn't have to deal with the burden that that name incorporated along with it.

Realization.

That awkward moment when you realize that the author just told you how Alt. Doof met Rodney in the first place and that Roddenstein is about twenty five years older than Doofenshmirtz in this series.

Pathetic.

That awesome moment when the author caught the reader wondering how old Rodney really is.

Stop.

You're still wondering aren't you? Well, don't get a calculator because Natty is horrible at math and is failing that subject and has many tutors. She is trying to range Rodney's age in between 65 and 69. Yes, Natty just said 69. PERRYSHMIRTZ 4EVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! 3

End Game.

Alt. Doof saw only one option, as he stared down at the unconscious, newly constructed, cyborg, strapped to the metal table. He raised the gun to the thing's head. He had to end this. No one deserved to live this way. This wasn't right. He had to stop it and- unlike last time –there was no one to stop him. He would have pulled the trigger, would have fired, if he didn't notice the thing suddenly blinking its one eye open, and he melted. The little brown pupil dug holes into his soul and his throat grew dry, he gulped and threw the weapon to the floor. He couldn't do it now, and he couldn't do it ever. What could he do now?

He thought and found it, the solution now, the only one there was now. He had to get away, to protect himself and this thing. So he unlatched the restraints from the thing's wrists and wrapped it in a blue blanket, cradling it as he ran out of the lab, out of the organization, and out of his old life, to become dictator of the Tri State Area, a protector, and a father to a son.

Damn.

The animal crossed his arms, cheeks red in both anger and embarrassment as he watched his nemesis laugh on like an idiot. Finally the man came to his senses enough to speak…

"I'm sorry Perry the Platypus, it's just so small!"

Peaking.

Platyborg felt this feeling. This type of weird feeling that was weird and just felt weird to him. The cyborg groaned in annoyance as the feeling only got worse, and he thought that maybe if he went for a walk around the building and talked to people then maybe he'd feel better. So he left his room and traveled down the hallways. He found the elder Doofenshmirtz child throwing many shoes out into the hallway through her bedroom door. Vanessa threw heels and flats behind her as she rummaged through her closet, not caring where they landed or who they hit.

The cyborg ducked out of the way of a pointed heel as it stuck into the wall behind his head. He blinked at it and then at a malfunctioning Normbot who had been unlucky and gotten stabbed by a red heeled shoe. As it sparked and jerked, its' voice shut down along with it.

"TELLGHHH FAAAAGGHTHER I LOOUGHHHVE HIMMMMGGGGH…." It then collapsed to the floor next to the cyborg.

Platyborg blinked and walked away from it casually, into the teen's room to stand behind her. "Hi Vanessa." He smiled at the back of her head.

"Hey…what's up…" Vanessa said distractedly, still looking over all her shoes and examining each and every one.

"Not much."

The girl nodded. "Hmm…" Vanessa turned with heel in hand to ask the cyborg's opinion on something and stopped dead in her tracks with wide eyes, and the heel dropped to the floor. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!"

….

About 30 minutes later, after Vanessa had stopped screaming and had locked herself in her bedroom and stopped crying, Platyborg now sat swinging his feet on Doof's desk where the dictator told him to sit until he calmed Vanessa down. He guessed that the girl was calm now since Doof was now entering the office and sitting on the desk next to him.

"Is Vanessa going to be okay?"

"Yeah. She'll be fine, Platyborg. But there's something important I need to discuss with-"

"Is she mad at me?"

"No, of course not. It's not your fault that you-" Alt. Doof swallowed his words, really not knowing how to explain this. He changed his approach. "I don't really know how or want to talk to you about this. Frankly, I wouldn't have thought you were ready for this talk already if…well, if that little incident hadn't just happened the way it did…" He paused to think of more to say. "A-And I want you to know that this isn't your fault and you didn't do anything wrong. In fact what you- What your body did-" The dictator corrected himself. "-is perfectly natural."

"It is?"

"Yes, it is. It happens to boys when they are…of age…"

"Of age for what?"

"I'm not going THAT far into this discussion, but when a boy is becoming older…he starts to have these…feelings, and when a boy gets these feelings, it's hard to control, so that's what made your body react…the way it did…Do you understand?"

Platyborg nodded uncertainly "I think so…"

"Good." The man nodded, relieved. "But I must admit. You are quite well endowed for your age."

"What does that even mean?"

Why the hell did he just say that?! "Nothing… It doesn't mean anything…."

"Whatever." Platyborg hopped off the desk and left the room. "You're all a bunch of freaking weirdos…"

D***.

"Hey Doof? What's an anal cavity?"

Alt. Doof froze "Where did you hear that from?"

"Rodney said it once. I don't know what it means and I thought I'd ask you what it meant."

"Well…it means that-"

"He said that if I didn't shut my dill hole then he'd take a dill and shove it up my-"

"Okay! No more weekend visits to Grandpa Rodney's house! He's destroying your child-like nature that I've tried so hard to protect…"

"….What's a dill?"

September.

"Platyborg! Come on! Get up, it's the first day of school!" Vanessa shook the cyborg awake. It just mumbled back at her.

"What month is it…?"

"September."

"Wake me up when it ends…"

LOOK!

"Hey mommy, look at that freaky duck over there!"

"I AM NOT A DUCK!"

Bomb.

Alt. Doof couldn't breathe, the smoke was just too much. And as he lost consciousness he could only thank the scientist that had gotten his kids out in time before the explosion erupted throughout the building.

He hoped that his counterpart would do more for them than he ever could.

Dead.

As Doof ran his counterpart's kids out of the burning building and ran them to safety, he couldn't help but look back to see the other him's life scorch away in flames. And he always knew that he could never amount to the father his counterpart was in any way.

He could only attempt.

Mess.

As Rodney walked through the ashes, and burnt plaster of what was once Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated, he couldn't help to think at how much of a mess this had turned out to be. And he even after he had sent the building to its doom, he still couldn't find what he was looking for…

But he did find something else, and as he dragged the barely breathing body out of the remnants, he smiled. In a way, he had found what he had been searching for.

A second chance.

Guns.

Platyborg stared at what was being handed to him with a wide eye. That wasn't what he thought it was….right?

"What are you just staring at it for?!" Rodney yelled at him "Take it! I am giving it to you! Or are you too stupid to see that?!"

"No, it's not that. It's just-"

"Just what?" The man glared.

"I'm eight…"

"So?"

"Aren't I a little young to be holding a semi-automatic pistol?"

Mushy Gushy.

"Doof, do you love me?"

Alt. Doof looked up from his papers on his desk, staring skeptically at the cyborg for asking such a ridiculous question "Of course I love you Platyborg! You're my child! Would you be here if I didn't love you?"

"No…I guess not…"

"I love both of my children very much. You should know that by now."

"I'm sorry for not knowing…"

"Don't be. It doesn't even matter how many times I say it."

"Why not?"

"Because I will never be able to say it enough times to truly show you how much I mean it."

Love.

"You love me right?" Platyborg asked Alt. Doof at the dinner table.

"Of course he does, idiot." Vanessa didn't look up from her plate, frowning at him "He's our father."

"Vanessa…" Her father warned her "I can handle this."

She shrugged and continued to tend to her food.

"Of course I do. I'm your father. I thought we discussed this Platyborg…" Alt. Doof flipped his fork around "I love both of you more than words can-"

"How come Rodney loves you, but you don't love him back?" The cyborg asked abruptly.

This caused Vanessa to look up, completely tuned in to the conversation, looking at her father for his reaction to such a statement.

Alt. Doof blinked, not knowing what to say for a moment before he looked up, opening his mouth to respond. "You've been asking a lot of debatable questions lately….why?"

"I don't know…" Platyborg lied. "I just thought of them." He said and went back to eating his spaghetti.

The dictator wasn't fooled and as the two kids finished up their dinner, he was deep in thought, and that was when he first realized that something was up.

Payback.

"DO NOT touch me right now Heinz!" Ege pulled away from him, growling and walking away from him. Her red, afro, hair was sticking up and she was in a bathrobe.

Alt. Doof followed her "Ege…I'm sorry. Ege!" He flinched when she slammed the bathroom door shut after running out and sighed as he stared at the abandoned, used, pregnancy test on the sink.

Negative.

And he just didn't understand why they couldn't have a baby of their own.

Sucker Punch.

"I'll be back…"

"You're not going out there!" She pulled her boyfriend back by his black clothes, staring deep into his steely blue eye. "You'll be killed!"

"I'll be fine."

"You're lying! We all know you're lying! EVERYONE in this room knows that you're LYING!" She screamed, tears running down her face and her voice breaking as she pointed to the crowd behind them.

This crowd consisted of Phineas-1, Ferb-1, Perry-1, Doofenshmirtz-1, Candace-2 who stared bored-like, and Carl-2 frowned along with the concerned others. They had all gathered in Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated-2 to await the oncoming battle against Rodney-2. They all knew that the madman was going down, and since Alt. Doof knew everything about the man and would be regaining his empire, he would be the one to confront him. And if he failed, his orders stood tall, for all of them to leave this dimension and not come back. Everyone agreed with this plan…except for Ege…

She slammed him against the wall next to the door he was trying to get to, and grabbed his hand, placing it to her stomach where she held it there. "What about him? Are you just going to walk away from your child?"

"I'm not walking away. I'm protecting it."

"You're killing yourself." She told him and pressed his hand harder against her stomach. "She needs you here."

Alt. Doof blinked, staring down at the small bump. "It kicked…"

"Please don't go… He needs you…I need you…we all need you…"

The man kissed her for a long few seconds, knowing it'd be their last as he bent down to plant a kiss on her stomach. "I'll be back." He said and ran out the door.

She slumped to her knees, face in her hands as she cried. She turned her head when a hand rested on her shoulder. "Thank you…" Ege told the 1st version of her boyfriend.

The scientist felt bad for her, but he also made a promise to the other him, that he'd take his roll after he was gone, and raise this baby as his own. Whether it was a boy or a girl, it didn't matter to him, and whether he liked it or not…

He was the protector now.

Sweet.

Platyborg always had the sweetest little smile in the man's eye. It was innocent, bright and heartwarming. But when that sweet smile was a frown, it brought other feelings into the picture. It brought sadness, guilt, regret, and depression to the man's soul. It was small, gloomy and heart wrenching. But when that sad frown was a smile, it brought a smile to the man's face.

"Good Morning Platyborg. How are you feeling?"

As that smile formed on the cyborg's bill, life just became worth it, everything in its path felt full of life. "I'm good! Can I go ride my bike outside? Huh? Can I? Please?" The thing jumped up and down in excitement, the smile bouncing up and down along with it.

Alt. Doof smiled along with him "Of course you can."

"Thanks Doof!" And then that smile ran down the hallway and disappeared.

Platyborg always had the sweetest little smile in the man's eye.