Thanks for those of you who took the time to review, it keeps the drive to write this going.
So, without further ado, here's the next part…
DISCLAIMER: I don't own jack.
"Well that's shit."
"Eloquent as ever Noah."
"Dude has it down though Rachel. It is shit." The pair had just finished filling the badass in on everything that happened on Saturday. Needless to say he was pissed that he hadn't gotten to 'kick some ass' but he also felt kind of sorry for his football team mate, (he was not even going to attempt to explain to Rachel why he was upset that she went head to head with a guy twice her age, it would just lead to a three hour PowerPoint- it had happened before- never let it be said that Noah 'Puck' Puckerman does not learn from his mistakes).
"What is it with today's youth, that almost every sentence must contain an expletive?" Well, most of his mistakes... "It is neither 'cool' nor clever. It merely makes them seem uncouth and reinforces society's negative impression of all people under the age of eighteen."
"Fuck Rach, it's 'cos that shit is da bomb. It's how we roll." Dave squinted at him and was like What The Hell? Whilst Rachel just folded her arms and did that weird head tilt thing that let you know she was pissed.
"First of all, Noah, I acknowledge that you inserted more profanities into your declarative statement merely to irritate me; second of all, you are not a member of a gang so please refrain from speaking as if you live 'in da hood' with your 'bruvva's' whilst you search for some 'trick ass hoes' " Good god she was using air quotes... Puck looked helplessly at the ceiling, this was embarrassing for everyone involved- well, mainly him since Dave was trying not to bust his gut laughing- but seriously, Rachel should never speak street. Ever. "I do accept however, that rap music can be appealing. Especially raunchy rap. Look old skool Salt 'n' Peppa... That's hot. Like really hot." The guys both traded a glance before staring at the little singer, who was staring off into the distance with glazed over eyes.
Dave clicked his fingers in front of her face and she snapped out of her daze. "We know you like Salt 'n' Peppa Rach. I seem to recall you humping a certain giant in front of the whole school."
Rachel blushed, "Yes. That was a poor decision on my part; it would have been hotter with Tina."
"What?!" Both of the guys couldn't contain their surprise. "You like the Asian vampire?"
Rachel tutted,"Tina is not a vampire. I must say though, she has a very symmetrical face which I find appealing. The symmetry is also applicable to other... features."
"Was that a racist comment?" Puck frowned at her.
"No! Of course not. She has a nice facial structure... And her breasts are well proportioned."
"I am too gay for this." Dave just shook his head and left the room.
Puck, on the other hand was riveted, his little Jew was growing up, sprouting lady wood for creepy little vampire chicks. "How do you know her tits are good? Perving in the lockers Rach?"
Rachel flushed and stomped her foot, throwing her arms down by her side at the same time. "I resent the accusation that I would ever be considered a peeping Tom! I accidentally grabbed her chest in rehearsals once."
Puck snorted, "You groped the poor girl? Only you Rach..."
"It was not intentional. I can assure-"
"Babe, I don't care. You have just made my day with your little lesbo leering."
"Have you finished talking about female anatomy yet?" Rachel sighed, at the sound of Dave calling out to them from down the hall.
"Yes Dave. It is safe for you to come back in."
"Dude, how did I not know that you're gay?" Dave stopped his movement and stared at him. Puck was genuinely curious how this had escaped his attention but also sensed that he may possibly have over stepped his boundaries. He didn't really understand why people got so wound up about what set of equipment people fucked with.
"Ookay!" Rachel clapped her hands together to try and remove the awkward tension entering the air. "Who wants to watch a film?"
The boys shrugged. "I much prefer verbal responses- just for future reference- however; as I am trained in the art of dance, I can infer from your body language that you are open to the suggestion. So How about Finding Nemo?"
"What's it about?" Dave asked. The pair stared at him with identical expressions of horror.
"Dude... What. The. Actual. Fuck?"
"I concur." Dave blinked, did Berry just agree with the use of a cuss word?
"Rach, stick the DVD in, I'll grab snacks." The little brunette scrambled for the case which contained one of her favourite movies. (Excluding any from the musical genre).
Puck clapped Dave on the shoulders as he headed for the kitchen. "Prepare to be moved bro."
-/-
After the movie ended and the tears had been shed- primarily by a certain Jew, that was NOT banned from certain rides with a height requirement- the trio began to discuss the story and its characters.
It was a well-practiced tradition for the two Jews but this time they had some knew blood.
"Y'know... You sort of remind of Shark Bait." Dave said, directing the comment at Rachel.
Puck considered the idea for a moment before nodding in agreement.
"How so?" Rachel asked. Nemo was obviously a favourite character of hers as he was a main protagonist.
"Well... He's a little fish, destined to live in a big ocean but trapped in a little tank with everyone watching his movements, yet he doesn't let fear stand in his way."
Rachel smiled at the thought the boy had put into his theory. Surprisingly, neither she nor Noah had ever drawn the parallel. Now though, it was glaringly obvious. "Thank you. "She paused before delivering her thoughts, "I suppose you could be Scar then."
Dave smirked, "Yeah?"
"Yeah, he's a big fish, wounded by the world's cruelty. Initially, he is set back by this but ultimately he overcomes his fears to escape the close minded tank and be free." Dave could feel his eyes sting slightly. All he ever wanted was the freedom to be himself, and now... He felt as though he was at least one step closer to achieving it.
"What about me? Who am I?"
"You can be the turtle." Dave grinned at the singer.
"Cause I'm badass right?"
"Yes Noah, it has nothing to do with the fact that he appears to be high with his spaced out vibe that he has passed onto his youth. It doesn't remind of the incident were you baked spiked cookies and sold them to our peers. "Puck stuck his tongue out at her. He would give her credit for saying it with such an air of nonchalance- she was a marvellous actress, when she wasn't being batshit.
"Food?" Puck chuckled, way to change the subject.
"Dibs on not calling!"
"Rach, you're still going to get the bill for the call."
"I don't care. The people that answer the phone can never comprehend what I say. I have no idea why…"
"You talk like a walking thesaurus babe."
-/-
" Shark Bait..." The singer looked up from her tofu box in askance. "I want to drop this stupid act of popularity. I want to hang out with you and Scar at lunch." After the movie it seemed second nature to refer to one another as the characters from the film- yes it was dorky but it formed a strong bond between them.
"Noah..." Rachel began to protest but Dave placed a hand on her arm. She turned to him with a puzzled frown.
"Just hear him out Rach."
"Look, you say you won't let me be seen around you in case the other guys on the team rag on me, forcing me to drop out and lose any chance of a scholarship right?" Rachel nodded. "Does that same theory not apply to Scar then?" Rachel paused; she hadn't thought of that, such a glaring issue was not something she usually overlooked. "Just listen, Dave here has my back on the team now, "he looked to the other boy who nodded in return, "and I have his. Together we can stick out whatever the team throws at us. No man gets left behind. We aren't leaving you to fend for yourself."
Rachel considered this. She had to give Noah credit, his thinking was logical and he had rationalised her concerns with being friends in public. "Ease into it. We can't go from not talking to hanging around all the time. I'm also changing our nicknames or at least giving alternatives. I shall adopt the title of Athos, you shall be Porthos and Dave is Aramis."
"Uh who?" Rachel let out an indignant squeak.
"Puck she's saying we're like the three musketeers. Rachel the one is secretive, protective but drowns her sorrows in music instead of drink, you are the honest and gullible man that enjoys the company of women and beer, then there's me the man thrown from his house but then returns and bests his father." He gave him a small smile, "All for one and one for all."
Puck sniffed, he wasn't crying, it was dusty. "I am surrounded by dorks. What has my life become?"
"Epic."
"Awesome."
Holy shit, they even did a fist bump.
"Lame guys. We are now three badass warriors, no… fist bumps will simply not cut it. Here's hw you do a kickass secret handshake."
-/-
"You know what guys?" Puck stared at the ceiling. He was still impressed that Rachel found a ladder tall enough to allow her to reach the ceiling and then stick the numerous glow in the dark stars on it. Of course she had actually mapped out the constellations prior to the sticking so he was gazing at an accurate version of the sky just outside.
"Whatever do we know Athos?" The boys rolled their eyes at her wordy reply. "Don't roll your eyes at me." How the hell did she know?
"Sorry, I was thinking that we should perhaps take some revenge on the football team."
"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." Rachel mused, flicking her pumps on and off her feet.
"That's deep Shark Bait." Dave remarked, from his space to the left of the singer. They had all moved down to the basement and wear currently laying on the floor.
"COD does have some uses. It's also strangely satisfying when you shoot the enemy. The little jolt of the control just…"She sighed. "It really lets you release your aggression." The boys chose to ignore the fact that Rachel Berry- who did have a tendency to go insane if something stood between her and stardom- just confessed that shooting something made her happy. Apparently virtual civilisations didn't count when she spoke of senseless violence and animal cruelty.
"Moving on…Why not do a tiny prank? A little something to provide some amusement for the rest of the McKinely students."
"Hmm, like putting on a show. It would be good practice for your career…" Dave added.
Rachel turned her head to the left and right. "I know what you are trying to do. This is blatant manipulation."
"Is it working?" Puck stage whispered.
"I shall draw up a plan for battle imminently." Rachel pushed herself up from the floor.
"Wait, actually? I thought you would need more convincing." Dave asked. Puck shared the same thoughts. Rachel generally hated the idea of upsetting people, he had thought there would at least be some bribery or blackmail involved.
"Yes. I am far ahead in all my classes at the moment and I find myself at a loss for something to do, also I really just want to *ahem* pee them off for my own amusement." Rachel blushed at her own attempt to swear, it really was just not in her nature.
The boys shared a glance from their positions on the floor and then shrugged. A prank is a prank.
"Now, let OPERATION NEMISIS commence planning stage!" Rachel spun on her heel and darted up the stairs leaving the boys still sitting in shock.
Dave turned to his new bro and whispered, "Nemisis?"
"Rachel went through a Percy Jackson phase a while ago. I'm gonna guess we'll be given a detailed plan with greek codenames."
"Has she done this before?"
"Who do you think came up with the idea to steal the ATM?"
"Rachel willingly let you get arrested for a theft she planned?" That didn't sound like the stringent rule abider he was familiar with.
"I may have neglected to tell that the target was an ATM, and she might have been lead to believe I was trying to steal a small animal monument back for a sanctuary."
Dave stared at him in disbelief. Puck shrugged, "It was the first thing that popped into my head. Besides, I was strapped for cash. She still visited me though, in Juvie, the only one out of my countless so called friends."
-/-
Read it, now review it! Please. :D
Any thoughts on the prank? On life?
Let me know! See ya later.