Chapter Five: Acceptance

Italy stares down at the gravestone in front of him. Ludwig Beilschmidt. It had been so long since they had last spoken, so long since he had said that name without it being sorrowful, regretful, angry. He smiles. "Hey Germany. It's me, Italy!" he says, smiling. He'd want me to smile. "Uh, so, I'm sorry I didn't come sooner…I've had a bit of a rough time…" he says, then sighs. It was quiet. Was Germany even listening to him?

"I mean…first, I was convinced you weren't dead. Everyone kept saying the odds weren't in your favour. But I kept saying you'd be fine. And I was wrong…" he sighs, "I woke up, and you were dead. I told you that I loved you…and you could never…tell me that you loved me back…" A tear begins to slip, and falls down his cheek. Italy smiles, wiping it away. "For a while, I hated you. I really did. I was so angry, because you left me, even though…it wasn't your fault.

You wouldn't have left me if you had the choice. I know that now," he says softly, "see? I may be an idiot, doitsu, but I learn…I think I've learnt a lot." He sighs, and clutches the bundle of flowers he was holding tightly to his chest. Daisies and Centaurea - the national flowers of Italy and Germany. Because he wanted Germany to know - if he was watching (Was he watching?) - that these flowers were from him.

"I…I learnt that people care about me. Romano…Japan…even Spain and Poland…they care about me, Germany…more than I thought…and I learnt that…things get better," he says quietly. Yes, things got better. Germany was always going to be dead, but maybe things would get easier…even if just a little bit… "I mean…part of me thinks otherwise…because you're never coming back…and it hurts, Germany, right here." Italy holds his hand over his heart.

"I don't think I'm ever going to get used to not having you with me, Germany," he says honestly, "I loved you, and without you here…it feels like a very empty world…not long ago, I wanted to end my own life…" His hand goes to his mouth as his voice begins to crack, tears trickling down his cheeks. "Romano was so upset…I thought he'd yell and scream and tell me that he hated me…but he just cried…"

Italy swallows, trying to regulate his breathing. Romano had cried, and held his brother's hand, telling him to call him next time, to find help. Telling him, asking him, begging him to never ever do that again. And Italy had nodded, too stunned to do anything or say anything except agree. And now… "I…I don't want to die anymore, Doitsu…" Doitsu. He hadn't said that for so long…too long… "Us nations…well…we live forever, don't we? Or, we're meant to…"

He takes a deep breath, trying not to shake as he whispers, "it's going to be…a very long…and lonely…forever…without you." The trees nearby shook, leaves falling gently to the floor as if even the flora agreed with him. "I wish I could…change this. I don't want to spend forever, knowing that I'll never see you again. I want to be human, mortal, so that I'll someday die and see you again…but I won't. I'm never going to see…see you again…s-so…"

He wipes a tear from his eye. He hadn't intended to say this out loud…it was a mistake…but… "I'll have to make all our memories worth it, won't I? All of our memories! Even the silly ones…even the ones I wish I could forget…because they're all I have now. I…need you…but…" Italy closes his eyes, "it's going to be ok, Doitsu. I'm going to be ok. Prussia's going to be ok. Japan, Romano…we're all going to be ok! So, wherever you are. Sleep well…we'll never forget you, but we need to move on with our lives."

With that, he places the flowers gently on the grave, and stands up straight, smiling at the gravestone before turning and walking away. Barely more than a few steps away, he pauses, closing his eyes. I love you, Germany. Italy wipes a tear from his cheek, then continues walking away, grinning when he sees his friends waiting for him; Prussia waving like his arm might fall off, Romano rolling his eyes and leaning against a tree with Spain grinning like an idiot next to him. Even Japan and Poland, looking at him with pride.

Italy grins, and runs over. "Ve! Done!" he yells, and Prussia grins, hugging him. "Awesome! Hey, we were getting hungry. Want to join us for lunch?" he asks, and the Italian nods excitedly, jumping up and done. "Si! Si!" he says happily. Poland laughs, and Japan smiles. "So long as it's not potatoes," mutters Romano, stuffing his hands in his pockets and walking with the group. "Or Engrish food," adds Japan, causing everyone to shudder.

Italy laughs. He was happy. Because someone was missing. But they weren't gone.

At least, not from his heart.

And somewhere, a blonde German was smiling down at him. "Ich liebe dich…" he murmurs to the Italian, then closes his eyes.

Now that he knew his loved ones would be ok, maybe he could rest in peace.

Short chapter, yes. Please forgive me? I just didn't feel like it should be a long one. Plus, I struggled a bit with it...

Anyhow, thank you for sticking with this! Those who have reviewed, followed or favourited this, I am very grateful and shall show my gratefulness by sending internet hugs *gives internet hugs*

Now I might give sad fanfictions a break...oh, who are we kidding, I have an idea for another one already. *sighs* Sigh...still!

Thanks for reading X