Title: In Your Eyes
Authors: Raven Shadowrose/BeethovenRIP
Rating: M
Pairing: ?/?
Summary: A joint FanFic by Raven Shadowrose and BeethovenRIP based on Dixie and Jeff's conversation at the end of Series 26 Episode 36. We have rated it M as future chapters will contain adult themes. Dixie wants to be a mother and Jeff is all too willing to oblige, but, does their conversation in the ED have an unexpected effect on their relationship?
Disclaimer: The authors do not know or own any characters or content from Casualty, any original characters and the story are ours and we do not give permission for anyone to use the story or reproduce it.
Author's Note: Thank you to chan. nelson4444 for your comment, we really appreciate it :)
Chapter Four.
Dixie awoke to light coming in through the window, why hadn't she closed the curtains last night? She hadn't been that drunk, a bit tipsy for certain but not drunk enough not to close the curtains. She remembered a strange dream where she and Jeff had made love against his bedroom wall, what an odd thing to dream about. Dixie opened her eyes and looked at the clock, five am, she had an hour and a half before she had to get up for work. Wait, why was her clock on the wrong side? Dixie rolled over and came face to face with Jeff, she looked at him and realised he was half naked and so was she. All of her memories came flooding back, talking about kids, Jeff kissing her, then taking his hand and leading him into his bedroom. She blushed as thoughts of Jeff entering her and making her orgasm filled her head, it surprised her that she'd enjoyed it as much as she had.
Dixie looked at Jeff as he slept and guilt filled her, had she taken advantage of him? She'd always suspected that he loved her and would do anything for her. What would happen now? How did she feel about Jeff? Everything was different, they'd done something that had changed their relationship forever. Dixie rubbed her face, she needed time to think and she couldn't do that here with Jeff asleep beside her. She got up quietly and picked her jeans and underwear up off the floor. Dixie took one last look at Jeff, she covered him up with the other half of the quilt and then left the room.
Dixie went and gathered something to wear from her room and went into the bathroom, she wanted to have a shower and clear her head. She locked the door and turned the shower on, she stripped of the remainder of her clothing from yesterday and stepped under the hot spray. Dixie closed her eyes and let the water wash over her, she sighed quietly, what had she done? She was not a straight woman, what had she been thinking of? A little voice inside her head was mocking her, telling her that she had enjoyed it, she tried to shut it up but it wasn't going away. Deep down she knew that she had enjoyed it, that having Jeff inside her had given her a sense of satisfaction and completion. She shut off the shower and quickly dried herself, once she was dry she got dressed and quickly brushed her teeth. Dixie contemplated breakfast but she didn't feel like eating just yet.
Dixie went downstairs and patted Little Abs on the head, she let him out into the garden for a little while and just watched him. She wished that she was a dog, life was much simpler for animals, especially with the turn that her life had recently taken. Little Abs came running back in and she locked the back door again. She picked up the bag containing her uniform and then put it down again. She quickly wrote Jeff a note and attached it to the fridge where she knew that he would see it. Dixie knew that she was being a coward, running out of the house before Jeff was even awake but she had to leave him a note, if she didn't then he would worry about her. She picked up the bag again and then left the house, she hoped that the walk to work would clear her head better than the shower had.
Jeff reached over to turn his alarm clock off and was puzzled when his arm landed on the pillow, he inched his way over and pressed the button, the annoying noise instantly stopped. He stretched and winced as his ankle moved, the ice that Dixie had put on it had made it feel better last night but now it was hurting again. Dixie... his pillow smelled of her, why did his pillow smell of her? Jeff searched his memories and one came through loud and clear; the one of Dixie on top of him and the feeling of a part of him being deep inside her body. Jeff closed his eyes, he remembered everything, taking Dixie up against the wall, why had he done that? The thought popped into his head that Dixie deserved better than what they had done last night, he had lost control of himself and now he may have lost his best friend in the process. Jeff pulled the quilt back and found himself half-dressed, Dixie must have covered him with the quilt before she left the room. When had she left? He didn't hear her go, he quickly pulled on his jeans from yesterday and went in search of Dixie, he had to know that she didn't hate him.
Jeff stood outside Dixie's room and knocked on the door, no answer. 'Dixie, are you in there?' Still no answer. Jeff pushed the door open and found only an empty room, maybe she was downstairs. He made his way downstairs and looked around, only Little Abs was there. 'Hi mate, where's Dixie?' Little Abs just looked at him, clearly the dog had no answers for him. Jeff put the kettle on and got the coffee out of the cupboard, where had Dixie gone? He went to the fridge and took out the milk, it was only when he shut the door that he saw the note attached to the fridge. He read it quietly, she'd gone to work, without him. It was signed with her usual kiss at the end but the fact that she had left so early said it all, she probably regretted what happened between them last night.
Jeff suddenly found his appetite gone, what if Dixie asked for a divorce? He didn't want her to go away, didn't want to lose her, he was angry at himself for letting things go that far. He should have shown some self control and not kissed her, what had he been thinking of? They weren't that drunk but drunk enough that they had thrown every caution out of the window and done something that could spoil everything. He put his cup into the sink and went back upstairs, he took a quick shower and got himself dressed for the day, maybe if he got to the station soon then he would be able to talk to Dixie before their shift started. He needed to talk to her, he needed to make all of this right again.
Jeff picked up the keys to the car and his unform from by the door, he locked the house up and then drove to work, he tried to drive carefully, if he got caught speeding then Dixie would kill him, assuming she wanted anything to do with him that is. Jeff parked up the car and headed into the station, he was met by Norman as he stepped through the doors. 'You're working with me today, Dixie said something about she had to do paperwork so she is making herself the rapid response paramedic for the day.'
'Right, where is she now?'
'She headed out on a shout about ten minutes ago.'
'Okay, thanks Norman.' Jeff sighed and went to get changed, he knew that Dixie was avoiding him, she hated working alone, for Dixie to take rapid response must mean that she is upset about what happened between them. Jeff vowed to find Dixie at the earliest opportunity and try to apologise.
Dixie felt guilty, she hadn't yet worked up the courage to see Jeff, she knew that she would have to talk to him about last night but she was finding it difficult, what must he think of her? He probably thought that she regretted what they had done, it couldn't be further from the truth, she didn't regret anything. She was unsure of what they would do now, whether they would become a couple or go back to being friends, could they do that? She wasn't sure that it was possible. Dixie sighed, she was going to have to see Jeff, he was on a shout right now, she'd heard it come through the station radio earlier but the minute he got back then she would talk to him.
Jeff sighed, he hadn't seen Dixie all day and it was getting to him, he was worried about her. He just wanted to talk to her and make sure that she was all right. He hoped that this shout would be a quick one so he could get back to the station and look for Dixie again, not that he would have any more luck than before. He was always being told that he had just missed her or that nobody knew where she was. She was avoiding him, she must seriously regret the night that they had spent together. Jeff was thoroughly miserable, if only he had kept his self control then they wouldn't be in this position.
Jeff picked up the medical kit from the back of the ambulance and looked up at the warehouse in front of him, he was betting that this was a hoax call. 'Come on then Norman, let's go and check it out.'
'Jeff, I have a bad feeling about this, maybe we shouldn't go in.'
'You know as well as I do that this will be a hoax call, the sooner we check it out, the sooner we get back to the station.'
'I really don't think that we should go in.'
'Fine, you stay here then, I'm going in.' Jeff stalked off towards the building, Norman was just being ridiculous. 'Hello, paramedics,' he called as he went in. 'Ambulance service.' Jeff looked around but he couldn't see anyone. 'Bloody timewasters,' Jeff muttered to himself as he looked around the building. He saw some movement out of the corner of his eye and walked in the direction of it. 'Hello, anyone there?' He turned as someone moved quickly from the corner of the building and tried to run towards the doors. 'Oh no you don't.' Jeff grabbed the youth by the arm. 'So you think prank emergency calls are funny, do you? You're not going anywhere until the police get here.' Jeff tried to keep hold of the youth but he wasn't prepared for them to punch him in the stomach. Jeff felt the air rush out of his body and he doubled over as the second punch landed not far from the first one. Jeff staggered backwards and felt his head hit something hard behind him, he closed his eyes to try and stop the room spinning. Jeff sat down on the floor, this day was just going from bad to worse.
Jeff heard Norman speaking but his words weren't making much sense, all he was thinking about was Dixie, was this his punishment for letting things go too far last night? Would she hear that he had been hurt, would she care? Would she come herself or would she send someone else to deal with this? Jeff sighed quietly, his head really was beginning to hurt, he had hit it quite hard on whatever it was that was behind him. He sighed again, Norman was still talking, why doesn't he just shut up? Jeff held the hope that Dixie would come out to him, he wanted her here right now, he needed her here, she was the only one that could make him feel better.
Dixie was pondering talking to Jeff when her radio went off. 'Holby control to 3001.'
'3001 receiving.'
'Priority call from 3006, back-up needed, paramedic injured.' Dixie was suddenly very worried, 3006 was Jeff and Norman's call sign, what had happened to them out there? 'Are there any details?'
'Negative.'
'3001 all received and mobile.' Dixie hurriedly put on her coat and ran out the RRV, what if it was Jeff and he had been seriously hurt?
Dixie rushed to the warehouse and parked the car next to the ambulance. 'Jeff, Norman, where are you?'
'In here,' she heard Norman call out. She went inside the warehouse and saw Normal sat with Jeff.
'What happened?'
'Jeff came in here, I told him not to but he did it anyway. I followed Jeff in but he was trying to stop someone running out of here, the kid hit Jeff and he hit his head on that piece of wood over there. He won't talk to me Dixie, he just sits there and says nothing.'
'Let me try.' Dixie knelt by Jeff's side. 'Jeff, it's me, Dixie, come on love, talk to me.'
'Dixie.' She barely heard Jeff speak as his voice was that quiet.'
'Yes love.'
'Do you hate me?' Dixie looked at Jeff in shock.
'Norman, could you give us a minute?'
'Yes, I'll be outside.' Dixie waited for Norman to leave.
'Why would I hate you?'
'Last night.'
'Right, no I don't hate you. We can talk about it later but right now I want to take a look at you. Where did you hit your head?' Jeff pointed to where his head was sore and Dixie gently touched it, Jeff winced and she moved her hand away. 'Sorry love, you've got a hell of a bump there. Norman said the kid hit you, where did he hit you?'
'Stomach.'
'Let me have a look.' Jeff seemed reluctant. 'Come on love, I've seen more of your body than your belly.' Dixie checked Jeff's stomach after he had lifted his shirt up, she didn't think that there was anything seriously wrong with him but she wanted to get him checked out properly. She radioed for another crew to come and take Jeff to hospital. 'Okay, you're going for a little trip to hospital.'
'No.'
'Yes, you've got a nasty bump on your head and I say you're going.'
'Okay, but you're not strapping me to a board, I'll go like this.' Dixie wasn't happy about Jeff not having proper spinal care but he had refused and there was nothing she could do about that. She was very relieved that he was going to hospital, she couldn't live with herself if anything happened to him.
Jeff was only going to hospital to keep Dixie happy, he was happy that she had come for him and she didn't hate him or what had happened last night. He was going to br honest with her and tell her everything. He let Dixie help him into the ambulance and sit with him as they fussed about. The only thing that he really needed was a painkiller for his head but if it put Dixie's mind at rest then he would go and get checked out just to make sure. Jeff looked at Dixie, she was keeping both eyes on him at all times, he didn't mind as long as she stayed with him, it had been torture not seeing her all day.
Dixie was feeling very guilty, Jeff had got injured because she had been acting like a coward, if she had behaved like an adult and faced Jeff earlier on in the day then none of this would have happened because she would have stopped Jeff from going into that building. If she had faced up to her own actions then they wouldn't be in this position, they wouldn't be in the back of an ambulance going to the hospital to get him checked out. Dixie resolved to talk to Jeff once she was certain that there wasn't any lasting damage to his head, she was going to talk to him and she would be honest about her feelings, no matter how hard that was going to be.