17th May 2013. So here's the next chapter... I hope you like it... although I fear you won't. Are you worried now?
Chapter 52.
Joey smiled as he saw his wife lying on their bed. She was asleep and she was wearing one of his T-shirts that Joey already knew he would probably never see again... or at least never be allowed to wear again. The only other thing she was wearing was some of her maternity knickers. Pure white ones that curved under bump which Joey had a particular liking for. He was more than aware that Lauren knew this and it was her latest form of torture for him.
It had been two weeks since the additional appointment at the clinic and Lauren was being the model patient, as promised. She was making sure she got plenty of rest and was taking her anaemia medication religiously. They were currently seeing her doctor on a weekly basis and this week she'd also been having the tests for her consultant's appointment, although there were less tests than she would usually have, even with the extra test on her kidneys. The frequency of her consultant's appointments had also increased, although just for regular checks of her heart output and not for any of the other tests they usually ran.
Lauren's earlier pregnancy issues seemed to have settled down over the last two weeks. She'd only had one more nosebleed since then and her hormones seemed to have balanced a little. Joey wasn't sure how long that was going to last for but he was pleased it made his wife a little more predictable. It was good because it also gave him a chance to take a breath and relax himself. The last month or so had been more stressful than he'd thought it would be so it was nice to have some time where everything was back to normal.
He walked over and crawled onto the bed behind Lauren. His hand moved and rested on Lauren's as it sat on bump. Bump had had a bit of a growth spurt in the last two weeks and it was now much more visible. He loved them both more each day and he looked forward to the day he got to hold bump in his arms.
*JL*JL*
The weeks were passing by quickly now. Lauren was twenty weeks pregnant. They had another appointment today and would again be having a scan. Joey and Lauren were both aware of how lucky they were because their doctor did a scan on Lauren every week when they saw her, giving them both a couple of minutes to see their child each time and most times they got some pictures to take home with them. A few weeks earlier Alice had come home one day with a present for them both. It was an album that they could put baby memories into. Lauren had started by putting each of their baby scan pictures in it, each one carefully labeled with the date and how far along she was. They had quite a set now.
A thought occurred to Joey as he was getting dressed for the day that morning and after a few minutes he found what he'd been looking for and he took it downstairs with him, finding his wife and his mother waiting for him in the kitchen. "Morning." He said to his mum. He turned to his wife, "This is for you..."
"What is it?" She asked, taking the bag from him.
"Have a look..." he said softly.
"Is this what you bought that day at the Sea Life centre in Southend? That was more than a year ago, babe."
"I forgot all about it after the excitement of the rest of the day and with you moving here. I just remembered about it and now seemed the right time to give it to you."
She unfolded the bag and peeked inside. "Is that...?" She looked up at Joey in excitement.
"What is it?" Lesley asked.
"It's something for the baby..." Lauren whispered. She pulled it from the bag and smiled as she saw the writing on the front as she held up the babygro. 'I'm a keeper' was written on the front, a fish emblazoned on it that looked suspiciously like a clown fish. She turned it to show Lesley and leant over to kiss Joey softly on the lips. "Thanks babe. It's the first thing we've got..."
"We need to start thinking about getting some more things for bump," Joey said softly, his hand resting on the back of her chair, fingers grazing her back gently.
"I know." Lauren whispered. She placed her hand on bump and brushed it gently. "I don't want to jinx it." She admitted. "I keep thinking the more we get excited about this, the more chance there is that something will go wrong, you know?"
"Things are much more positive now." Joey said, turning further towards her. He kissed her lips gently and then leant forward and pressed his mouth against her now bigger bump tenderly. "We should be getting to the clinic, baby."
"Okay..." Lauren said. Their previous conversation was over for now but she knew it would be a point of discussion for them in the future.
*JL*JL*
"So it's scan time, Lauren. 20 weeks today." The doctor said as Lauren walked into the room. She guided her patient over to the bed and helped Lauren up onto it. "Would daddy like to come a little closer?" she asked as she looked at Joey. Joey smiled and moved to Lauren's side, practically glowing himself at the reference to him being daddy. "Okay, I have many more things I need to check today. Nothing sinister, just your baby is developed much more now and I'll be able to see them more clearly on the scan today."
"What are you checking?" Lauren asked.
"Firstly, the baby's heartbeat. I'll also be checking the heart to make sure it's formed properly." She turned on the machine. "I'll be checking the shape and size of bump's stomach, making sure everything is where it is supposed to be and looks okay." Lauren pulled up her top, listening to the doctor with interest. She eased the top of her leggings down, revealing all of bump. "Then I'll take a look at bump's head and spine, including the brain." She squeezed a little gel on Lauren's stomach and picked up the probe. "I'll check the position of the placenta and the umbilical cord. The final thing I'll be checking is the amount of amniotic fluid." She pressed the probe against her skin and began the lengthy process of checks she had to make. After what felt like an eternity but was probably only about twenty minutes. "Here is bump in all its glory," she said, turning the screen to face them. She left the two of them alone to watch their child. She walked back to the desk and made a note of the gender of bump, along with a note that this information should not be revealed to the parents. After a few minutes she returned to them. "I need to do the rest of the checks on you, Lauren." She said as she wiped away the gel on her stomach and helped her sit up. "You can go to the toilet now." Joey helped her down from the bed and he watched as she walked slowly out of the room.
"Everything's okay, right?" Joey asked tentatively.
"It's all fine, Joey. Why are you asking?"
"Lauren's got it into her head that something's going to go wrong. She's reluctant for us to start buying things for bump because she thinks it'll jinx it."
The doctor smiled, "You really need to find a way to stop your wife from stressing herself out..." she said with a smile.
*JL*JL*
The rest of the tests had revealed no problem so it was a good checkup. Lauren and Joey went for some food at Maggie's, which had become a regular thing for them to do after their tests at the clinic. Maggie had taken quite an interest in Lauren's pregnancy and she always saved them a good table for the days they had an appointment. She would come over and ask them how it had gone and she would sit and talk to them both for a little while. It was during one of these visits a couple of weeks earlier that Lauren had felt the baby move for the first time, which prompted a few tears from the mum-to-be. Her tears were mainly because she'd pulled Joey's hand to rest on her stomach but he couldn't feel anything and that was what upset her.
After they'd finished their lunch they made their way to the hospital for her consultant's appointment. Firstly they stopped at the heart department so Lauren could have her ECG. That only took just over half an hour and there was a slight pause once it was done to give her consultant time to review her results. Finally they made their way to his office and sat, waiting until they could see him.
They made their way into his office and took their usual seats. "How are you feeling, Lauren?" he asked once she was sitting down.
"I feel great..." Lauren said with a smile.
"You certainly appear to be glowing." He told her with a smile. He frowned slightly though as he consulted the paper trace.
"Is something wrong?" Joey asked.
"Well, your results don't appear to be as good as they've been for the last few weeks."
"Is it significant?" Joey asked, squeezing his wife's hand when she tensed at his words.
"It's not a huge change but it's a decrease in function nonetheless."
"What does that mean?" Lauren whispered.
"I know I've only been seeing you every three weeks but for the next month at least, I'd like to see you weekly. Again we'll do an ECG before each one."
"Is this something we should be concerned about?" Joey asked softly.
"Lauren's heart is supposed to be working harder to pump the blood around her body now with her increased volume of blood in her system, because of her pregnancy. From this trace I can see that most of the time her heart is coping well. However over the period of the thirty minute scan, there are three occurrences where her heart was struggling and the flow of blood was pumping slightly slower than it should."
"So there's a chance the baby could suffer?" Lauren whispered.
"No, I don't think so. Your body automatically prioritises your baby's needs, even above those of your own body."
"So Lauren's health could be at risk?"
"At this stage, I'd say no but if the function decreases further still, it could become an issue." He watched as Lauren's face fell. "Lauren, please don't panic about this. This is something we can control and at the moment it's not something you need to be too concerned about." He stared at the couple, "It is my job to do the worrying, okay? I know it sounds scary but it's nothing more than a small blip... if could just be one of the sensors wasn't attached correctly..."
"So what can we do to make sure Lauren remains okay?" Joey asked.
"Plenty of rest is the main thing. No activity that will strain Lauren's heart too much... including sex."
"Is this for the remainder of the pregnancy?" Lauren asked softly, her thumb brushing across the back of Joey's hand.
"I don't think so... If it is something, which at the moment I'm not saying it is, I'm sure, once your body gets more used to this increase in work it should plateau. Essentially I'd just like for us to have two traces tests where you have no more than one dip in heart function. If we get to that stage, we can reduce the appointments to fortnightly. If we get back to where there appears to be no decrease in function, we can resume our current frequency."
*JL*JL*
Joey and Lauren sat in the car twenty minutes later. Both were a little shell shocked by what had just happened. "I thought everything would be okay. The pregnancy is going so well. Now it's me that's sick. Are we ever going to get a break, Joe?" she asked softly.
"It's only for a little while, baby girl." He told her softly.
"And we can't have sex..." she cried out.
Joey pulled her into his arms. "We'll be fine, baby."
"No we won't. You're going to go off me. You'll find someone else who doesn't look like they've swallowed a tyre." She started to climb out of the car but Joey pulled her back.
"Stop baby. You're overreacting. I've told you before, I'm going nowhere." He kissed her forehead. "What do I have to do to convince you that this is forever? Don't you remember what it says on our rings? Those words weren't just for show, baby. I meant every word written on them." His hand brushed the side of her face as he stared into the depths of her eyes. "Now we should get you home. You're supposed to be getting plenty of rest and we've got to go over to your parents tonight so I foresee plenty of hours in bed for you today." He started the car and began the short drive home.
*JL*JL*
The pair walked into the house and Lauren slowly made her way upstairs.
"How did it go?" Lesley asked her son.
"Baby's fine." Joey said, getting a glass of cold water for his wife.
"And Lauren?"
"Not so good." Joey whispered. "Her heart is struggling to cope with the extra work it has to do. She's got to rest even more than she has been already."
"Maybe you should speak to her obstetrician." Lesley advised him.
"I'm going to call her in a minute. I want to make sure Lauren's resting first."
"Don't push her too far, Joe. You know she hates being mollycoddled," His mum reminded him softly.
"I know." He snapped, pausing for several seconds after, "Sorry." He whispered, glancing at his mum.
Lesley stepped closer to him and brushed her hand down the side of his face, seeing the fear in his eyes, "I can call Tanya and let her know we won't be over there tonight."
"You can't cancel, mum. Lauren's been looking forward to it for weeks. She wants to go. She's missing her family and friends. I can't take that away from her as well..."
"So she goes to the party and sees them all... but at what cost, Joe? What happens if she falls ill?"
"She'll be fine, mum. The first sign of trouble we're out of there. I promise. I'll be watching her like a hawk."
"Just remember what happened the last time there was a party in Walford."
Joey tensed under his mum's hand and stared at her, "I remember, mum. I'm never going to forget that night." His words were soft but Lesley could clearly hear the pain in his voice. He stared at her for several seconds then left the kitchen and walked up to their room. Lauren was lying on the bed and he could tell her mood hadn't improved. He put the glass down and moved to lie beside her. He pulled her back against him.
"Don't Joe."
"Don't what?" he asked her softly.
"Don't start something we can't finish..." Joey said nothing in response to her. "I wish we could... I want to so badly but we can't. The doctor has taken one of the best things about our relationship from us; from me."
"Hey... our relationship is not just about sex, Lauren." He told her. "Yes, sex is important and I'm going to miss it with you as much as you will but it's not the best thing about our relationship." He said in a whisper to her.
"I'll remind you of this conversation in a few months time when you're horny and we still can't do anything about it." She muttered dejectedly.
"We should stop talking about this. It's not going to help the situation. And you're supposed to be relaxing."
"There's one way you could relax me, baby..." she whispered.
"You heard the doctor... no sex."
"It doesn't have to be sex." She begged him.
"Babe... I'm pretty sure anything we got up to would set your heart racing... and that is what the doctor has banned. It's not just sex." He told her softly.
"Great..." she muttered, pulling away from him. "See... things have already changed. You've already gone off me."
"I haven't, baby girl. I could never do that. Now I'm going to leave you to rest for a while." He said, kissing the back of her head tenderly. "I do love you, Lauren. I love you and bump more than I've ever loved anyone. Don't ever forget that," he whispered to her, hoping she was really listening to him.
*JL*JL*
"Joey, is something wrong with Lauren and bump?"
"Yes and no. We had a consultant's appointment today after we'd finished with you and the results weren't fantastic. Lauren has taken it hard."
"What was wrong?" The doctor asked.
"He said her heart is struggling with the extra work it has to do and she's got to rest more." Joey coughed slightly before adding, "He's also banned any form of sexual activity. I don't know how to convince Lauren that nothing is going to go wrong." He closed his eyes, "I need you to convince me that nothing is going to go wrong." His words were quiet and so was the doctor for several seconds.
"If her consultant has told you both that then there must be a pretty good reason for doing so."
"So there's nothing I can tell her to reassure her?" Joey asked, silently adding an 'and me' to his question.
"I wish there was." She paused, "Let me speak to my friend and find out what is wrong exactly."
"I guess it makes me sound bad..."
"What does?"
"That I'm worried about the fact I can't have sex with my wife." He clenched his fist as he spoke, "It's not that though... she's got it into her head that I'm going to leave her and look for it elsewhere. She's already got so many issues about the way she thinks she looks... this is the final straw for her."
"The way she thinks she looks?"
"She thinks she's getting fat and that I'm going to go off her. I've tried to tell her that every time I look at her, I see the mother of our child and I fall in love with her all over again but she doesn't hear it. She thinks I'm trying to placate her and telling her what she wants to hear."
"Give me half an hour and I'll come back to you. I'm sure there's something we can do."
"Thanks. I'll speak to you later." Joey ended the call.
"Well, that didn't take long..." Lauren whispered.
Joey looked at her startled. "What?"
"Your other woman..."
"I don't know what you're talking about, Lauren?"
"I just heard you on the phone, Joe." She said, "'I'll speak to you later,'" she mocked him.
He tossed her the phone, "Look at it." She caught it easily but didn't do as he said. "Look at it..." he repeated.
"I don't want to know who she is. I don't want to know who you've replaced me with. Jesus, Joe, it's been what... two hours?"
"Look at the last number I dialled, Lauren." Joey said, his voice harder than he'd usually speak to her.
They were at a stalemate, neither of them would move and it took the entrance of Lesley for the atmosphere to lessen. "Did you finish speaking to Lauren's doctor?" she asked her son.
"She's calling me back once she's spoken to Lauren's consultant." He said, staring at his wife.
"You called her?"
"Look at the phone..." he whispered.
She finally did as he asked, seeing the name of her doctor as the last number he'd called. "Why did you call her?" she asked.
"I wanted to see if there was anything she could tell me to reassure you." He said. His phone rang as it lay in her hand and she passed it back to him quickly. "Hello?" he said as he answered it. His eyes remained locked on his wife's face as she spoke to him. After several minutes he spoke again, "Thank you. I'll let Lauren know. We'll see you in a week. Thanks again." He put the phone done on the table. "Can you give us a few minutes, mum?" he asked.
Lesley had been aware of the tension between them as soon as she walked into the room and she hoped it was nothing they couldn't fix. The last thing either of them needed was more stress. "I'll be in the kitchen if you want me for anything." She told them both before leaving them alone.
"I'm sorry, Joey." Lauren whispered once they were alone.
Joey stared at her intently. "You need to start trusting me, Lauren. I haven't lied to you since the day we met and I'm not about to start now." He said. He turned away from her. He couldn't look at her; he was so disappointed by the fact she thought he would go off with someone else. What had he ever done to make her think he would do that?
"I do trust you..." she told him.
"It didn't sound like that five minutes ago. It didn't sound like that after the doctor's earlier either. When something bad happens, your first instinct is that I'm going to leave you for some other woman. Do you know how that makes me feel?" She shook her head, not that he was looking at her. "It's like a knife to my heart to know how little you think of me." He looks back at her and she gasps when she sees the devastation on his face, the tears in his eyes and on his cheeks, "It hurts me when you assume I'm going to run away with the first available woman I see. Why would you think that, baby girl?" he asked her, "Why would you think I value our relationship... our marriage... so little that I would do that?"
"I don't..."
"Your actions tell me you do..."
"What did she say?" she whispered.
"You should be upstairs resting, Lauren." He got to his feet, his eyes avoiding hers again, "I'm going to go to the club for a while. I'll be back before we need to leave." He walked out of the room, ignoring her cries of his name. He grabbed his jacket and walked out of the house, slamming the door shut behind him. He climbed into his car but didn't go anywhere immediately. He smashed his hand against the outside of the steering wheel repeatedly as he gave into the frustration he was feeling.
TBC
A/N: Oh dear... a little bit of a cliffhanger. Back tomorrow... will they make up?
So I'm feeling pretty miserable today... which helped add a few bits to this chapter on final read through. I don't know why but... well I think I might give myself a night off from writing or we could end up with another "Torn" being posted and I'm not sure I can subject you to that again. (Nice) reviews might cheer me up though.