Title: In Your Eyes

Authors: Raven Shadowrose/BeethovenRIP

Rating: M

Pairing: ?/?

Summary: A joint FanFic by Raven Shadowrose and BeethovenRIP based on Dixie and Jeff's conversation at the end of Series 26 Episode 36. We have rated it M as future chapters will contain adult themes. Dixie wants to be a mother and Jeff is all too willing to oblige, but, does their conversation in the ED have an unexpected effect on their relationship?

Disclaimer: The authors do not know or own any characters or content from Casualty, any original characters and the story are ours and we do not give permission for anyone to use the story or reproduce it.

Author's Note: Thank you to chan. nelson4444 and olivia. c. king1 for your comments, we like reading them :)

Chapter Five.

'Jeffrey Collier 38, hit in the stomach twice, no real tenderness to the area, he does have quite a nasty bump on the back of his head. He has refused spinal care, no loss of consciousness; all obs seem to be normal. Having said that I am rather worried about him, as he hasn't really said anything since it happened.' Norman reported as he wheeled Jeff through the ED with Dixie in tow behind him.

'Thank you Norman, can you put him in cubicle six, I will be there in a minute.' Dylan instructed before walking off in the opposite direction to the paramedics causing all three of them to sigh.

Norman wheeled Jeff into the empty cubicle, 'If you could pop yourself up onto the bed Jeff.' Jeff got out of the wheelchair and sat on the end waiting for Norman to leave so he could talk to Dixie. She had been silent the whole journey in, but, her eyes never left him. Jeff couldn't bring himself to look at her; he was too ashamed of his behaviour to look her in the eye. He was happy just to have her near him; he had really missed her today.
Once Norman had gone, Jeff started to speak. 'Dix, I…'
'Not here Jeff, not here.'
'But, I need to…'
'Jeff, not here. We will talk about this, but, not in the middle of the ED where everyone can hear us. Let's get you seen to first, and then we can talk okay?' Dixie replied moving herself closer to Jeff. She had missed him today; even though she had spent the whole time trying to avoid him, there was something about being in his company, in his presence that she liked. He made her feel safe and loved.

Dylan marched into the cubicle putting on a pair of latex gloves so he could examine Jeff more closely. 'So, you were hit in the stomach knocking you back causing you to hit your head yes?'

'Yeah.'
'Lie down for me and lift your shirt please.' Jeff did as Dylan instructed wincing slightly as he made contact with his stomach and ribs. Dylan felt around the tenderness before moving his hands away letting out a grunt before sighing. 'Doesn't seem to be anything broken, you may just have some sore ribs, but, that's about it. Now, let's take a look at the head. Could you lean forward please?' Again, Jeff did as he was told. As he moved forward he held his hand out for Dixie to take, he needed to feel her soothing touch, he wanted to be close to her. Dixie stepped forward and placed her hand in his before their fingers intertwined locking them into place. 'Has he been sick at all?'
'No.'
'Right, well, I am going to book a scan.'
'Why?' Jeff asked abruptly. 'I just need some pain killers and I will be fine. Don't waste NHS resources on a scan for me, I don't need one.' Jeff was desperate to get out of the ED and talk to Dixie; he didn't want to be in there any more.

'Me Doctor, You Patient. I am going to send you for a scan and that is final.' Dylan responded before leaving the couple alone.
'I don't need a scan Dix, tell him please.' Jeff turned to Dixie begging her to do something, he just wanted to leave, to leave with her, not be stuck inside waiting for a pointless scan which would only tell him what he already knew. 'Jeffrey, you have had a bump to the head, I need to know that you are all right.'
'But…'
'No buts Mr Collier, you are having the scan, and that is final. When we get the all clear, we can get out of here and talk, okay?' Jeff nodded, Dixie was right, she always was.

Dixie could see Jeff look down to the floor once more, that was the first time since they had seen each other that he had made eye contact with her, now he had broken it again. It made Dixie think, does he hate me? Did I not satisfy him? She needed to clear her head and work out what she was going to do once and for all, letting out a sigh, she looked up at Jeff again. 'Right, I am going to take the RRV back to base while you wait for your scan, I will be back in a few.'
Jeff looked positively petrified that Dixie was leaving him again, he wanted her to stay, and he desperately wanted her to stay with him. He looked into her eyes silently pleading with her. Dixie saw the hurt in his face, it took a lot of will power not to crumble there and then, to hold him in her arms and tell him she didn't hate him, but, she couldn't, not yet, not there, not now. 'I will be back before you know it love. See you in a bit.' Dixie broke the contact she had with Jeff's hand before walking away. She needed a few more minutes by herself to figure out what she was going to say to Jeff, this had provided her with the ideal opportunity.

Jeff watched Dixie leave feeling his heart drop once more, did she hate him? Even though she had said she didn't, Jeff wasn't too convinced. If anything, he hated himself, hated himself for not exercising some self-control and stopping them from making love. He hated himself for taking her the way he did, he just hoped Dixie would forgive him.

Dixie didn't need to do anything with the RRV, she left it parked up outside the ED. She knew where she would take Jeff when he was discharged, they needed time to talk without any interruptions and she knew just the place. What she didn't really know was what she was going to say to him. She felt guilty, guilty for taking advantage of Jeff like she did. On the other hand, she did enjoy what they did, but, could she do it again with him? Dixie was confused, sitting out in the Peace Garden wasn't going to give her the answers, and the only person who could do that was Jeff.

She made her way back into the ED and over to Jeff's cubicle, he wasn't there, he was probably having his scan. She sat herself on the end of the bed picking up his coat and holding it close to her. She could feel his scent filling her nostrils making her feel close to him even though he wasn't there. Dixie didn't need to wait too long before Jeff was wheeled back by Big Mac, his face lit up when he saw that Dixie had come back for him. 'Scan is all clear Mr Collier; you might want to take a few painkillers, no more driving today.' Dylan said without even making eye contact with him or Dixie. He handed Jeff a leaflet on head injuries before he walked out.

'Come on handsome.' Dixie said as she took Jeff by the arm leading him out of the ED and into the RRV.

'Where are we going Dix?' Jeff asked wincing as the seatbelt touched his stomach.
'Somewhere where we can talk.' Jeff didn't respond but sat silently as Dixie drive them to the Park just outside the city centre before leading him through the park and into a wooded clearing. He hadn't been to this part of the park before, but, he made a mental note to remember it, it could have possibilities for them if they were going to remain together. It would be perfect for a picnic he thought.
'How do you know about this place?' Jeff asked as he watched Dixie sit down on the bench.
'I come here sometimes when it all gets too much for me; it helps me to clear my head.'
'Is that what you need to do now then?' Jeff asked as he perched on the end of the bench looking out over the park.

'I don't know.' Dixie began letting out a sigh.
'Dix, about last night, I shouldn't have let it get that far Dix, I am so sorry, please forgive me.'
Jeff looked over at Dixie who was staring out at the City, he wanted her to reply, the silence was unnerving. 'It wasn't your fault Jeff.' Dixie said quietly.
'Dixie, please don't hate me.'
'I don't hate you Jeff, I have told you that already.'
'So why have you been avoiding me all day?'
Dixie sighed again, 'It was easier I guess, I needed time to think about what happened. About what we did, I couldn't do that if I was with you.'
Jeff continued to look on at Dixie as she continued to speak, it had hurt him not being with her all day, but he knew she needed to say what she was thinking, if they were going to move on from this, they needed to be honest with each other.
'I don't want you to feel like I used you for sex so I could get pregnant, you mean more to me than that Jeff, you really do.'
Jeff could feel his eyes welling up as he heard those words, he knew she didn't hate him and the extra reassurance meant the world to him. Dixie had gone silent again, she was still thinking. He decided to take charge and be honest with her, at least if he did that she might feel more comfortable to do the same.

Jeff moved off the bench so he was kneeling down on the floor, he moved himself so that he was directly in front of Dixie. Jeff shuffled himself closer towards her using his hands to gently part her legs so he could be as close to her as he possibly could. He slowly lifted her head so she was looking into his eyes before he started talking. 'Princess you mean everything and more to me, you really do. I do not feel like you used me just to get pregnant, I would do anything for you, you could have asked me to make you a mum and I would have done it. I do not regret making love to you last night, the only thing I regret is not treating you properly while we did it.'
Dixie looked full on into Jeff's eyes, 'What do you mean?'
'I mean, I shouldn't have made love to you like that, you deserve so much more than being taken up against a bedroom wall. I just hope and pray that you don't leave me, that maybe one day you will give me the chance to make love to you again, so I can show you how much you mean to me.'
'You would do it again?'
'In a heartbeat if you wanted me to.'
Dixie smiled, 'What are we going to do?'
'Babe, it is entirely up to you. What do you want to do? Talk to me Dixie please.'
Dixie tried to look down to her feet, but, with Jeff right there, it was proving really hard, instead she turned her head slightly to the side looking out past him to the city. 'You made me feel so different last night, I would be lying if I said I didn't enjoy what we did, but, it was strange you know. I am a lesbian, I am not meant to jump into bed with a man, but I did with you last night and it was the best night of my life. Jeff I love you and I don't want us to split up because of last night.'
Jeff was silent as Dixie spoke, he knew what he needed to do and now seemed the perfect time. Dixie looked on as he placed his hand into his trouser pocket and pulled out a small box.
'What's in there?'

'I picked it up this morning before I left the house. I went into your room and took it.' Dixie looked on as Jeff opened it up revealing her wedding and engagement rings. 'Mrs Collier, I loved spending the night with you last night, I know it was unexpected and was awkward this morning, I also know that it is probably really messing with your head, but I want you to know that I love you, you mean everything to me and I would never do anything to hurt you. Mrs Kathleen Collier, will you do me the honour of being my wife, for real?' Dixie was gob-smacked; she was totally lost for words looking down at Jeff who was still holding her rings.

'Do you really think us being in a relationship will work?' Jeff nodded.
'Jeff I do not know the first thing about being in a relationship with a man, I may not like it.'
'Let me teach and guide you.'
'Jeff, what if it goes wrong for us, what if it ends what we have? I don't want that to happen.'
'It won't, trust me Dix I won't let anything happen to us. What do you say?' Dixie felt a wide smile forming across her face as she nodded; Jeff slowly slipped both rings onto her finger before wrapping his arms around her. As he leant in for a well needed hug, their lips touched once more as they shared a soft but tender kiss, they pulled out after a few moments resting their foreheads on each other. 'Let's go home then Mrs Collier.' Dixie nodded as Jeff got up off the floor holding his hand out for her to take as they walked back to the RRV hand in hand.