Chapter 21

Arthur folded his last shirt and placed it in his suitcase. He already had asked Lancelot to take his stuff back to his apartment. He double checked everything so he wouldn't leave anything behind. He didn't want any evidence of his staying there left behind.

He clicked his suitcase shut as Hunith walked in through the open door. She looked back at him with a look of grief.

"You don't have to go," she said.

"I'm just giving Merlin his room back," he said. "You know I couldn't stay forever."

Hunith sighs sadly.

"I just gotten used to having you around," she said.

Arthur walks over to her and gently places a hand on her shoulder.

"And I've gotten used to being around. But I can't stay. I got my own place and soon, you'll have your son to mother hen."

"You need someone to look after you," said Hunith.

"That's what Lancelot's for," he said and they both laughed. "And besides, it's not like I'm disappearing forever. You'll see me again."

Hunith smiled up at him and patted his cheek.

"Such a good boy," she said. "Merlin's lucky to have you."

Something in Hunith's tone made Arthur pause. Did she mean…?

"Hunith?"

Hunith laughed.

"I may be old, but I can still see. You wouldn't go through the lengths you did for a friend you just met, and you wouldn't stay with me if you were just worried about me staying all by my lonesome. And I've heard you talking to Lancelot. The accident wasn't your fault. Merlin would tell you that if he remembered. It was all just a horrible accident."

Arthur gave Hunith a sad smile.

"I know," he said. "Everyone keeps telling me that, and I know rationally it's true, but I can't help thinking that if I had just stopped being angry and stopped him from getting on the bus, then maybe he would be okay now. He'd still be playing his guitar, writing…"

"What was the argument that got you so mad and made Merlin leave?" asked Hunith.

Arthur hesitated in answering. Hunith was the only one who did not know about Mordred, and a large part of him was grateful for it, but he also knows that she deserved to know the truth.

"It started six months ago," he said. "I was online when I met someone nicknamed Wizard and we started talking. Soon, we told each other everything. How he wanted to be song writer and I wanted to be an author."

"Merlin," said Hunith. Arthur nodded.

"We became fast friends and I suggested we meet. Even through an email I could tell that he was hesitant, but he agreed. My father was hosting a mask "charity banquet" at the time and I suggested we meet then. I even asked Merlin's band to play."

Arthur continued to describe what had happened from the time of the banquet to the accident. When he described Mordred's accusation and Arthur's doubt in Merlin's innocence, he teared up and paused to catch his breath.

"Well, now I know who to blame," she said. "That awful Mordred person. To think he did all this because of something out of your control. Some people don't know who to blame and place it on the wrong people."

"I don't know how to make up for what I've done," he said. "When I thought of what I had done, I get this ache in my chest, like I'm suffocating and the sight of him hurt makes me want to hurt Mordred for making me believe him, and myself for making me run him off onto that bust. I feel like I'm dying inside, and I can't make it go away."

"You love him." Arthur looked up at Hunith in shock. "Why would you feel the way you do, or go through the lengths you have to help him? You love him."

Arthur paused as he thought over Hunith's words. Did he love Merlin? He thought of all the love sonnets he had read growing up, but nothing only one came to him when it came to Merlin.

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! It is an ever-fixèd mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved

His conclusion; he was unquestionably in love with Merlin.

"It wouldn't matter," said Arthur. "He's in love with someone else."

"With who?" asked Hunith.

Arthur shrugged.

"He didn't say and I didn't ask."

"Well, the future's not set in stone, and you still have a chance. I'm sure it won't be too hard for him to fall for you."

Arthur smiled at her gratefully, but inside, he doubted that Merlin would fall for him. He had seen the far off look Merlin would have from time to time, and knew that he wasn't concentrating on his textbooks, a song or even what Arthur was saying. He was jealous of the man who had captured Merlin's attention, but knew that he couldn't do anything to make Merlin notice him as more than a friend.

The alarm on his watch went off and he looked down at the time.

"I got to go pick up Merlin," he said. "Lance will be here in a few minutes to pick up my stuff."

"I'll let him in, just get my boy home."

Arthur nods.

"I will," he said.

He left the house, got into his car and drove toward the hospital. He was a little excited that Merlin was going home. He was glad that Merlin was getting out of the hospital, but it meant that they would be spending less time together. He would have to figure out some way to continue their friendship if he wanted Merlin to stay in his life.

Walking into the hospital, he greeted the nurse at the reception before signing in and walking toward the gym where the physical therapists worked with their charges. Currently, there were three patients working out in the gym. One using leg press to strengthen their legs and one was using weights for a wounded shoulder, but Arthur had his attention on the third. Merlin was between the double bars, his left hand gripping the railing as his right was tucked against his chest. He slowly struggled to move his legs, his face clearly focused on the point in front of him.

"Merlin, it would be easier if you used both hands," said his P.T., Freya. She had finished her internship while Merlin was in a coma and as soon as they needed a physical therapist, Arthur immediately called her. Doctor Grey questioned Arthur's decision on hiring a woman so soon out of medical school, but Arthur wouldn't trust Merlin with anyone other than Freya.

Merlin looked apprehensively at his right hand and shook his head.

"I can't, Freya," he said. "I'm sorry. I just can't."

Arthur frowned. All the doctors explained that while Merlin's hand was completely healed, the reasons why he couldn't use it were purely psychological. Doctor Grey had suggested a therapist which Merlin immediately shot down, for which Arthur was grateful for. In his option, if Merlin had problems, he would talk to his friends about it.

"You'll never be able to play again if you don't try," said Freya.

"I'll never be able to play again, period," said Merlin, irritated. "You heard the doctor. It's broken. Broken!"

"Merlin," called Arthur, getting the young man's attention and breaking his irritation. At the sight of Arthur, Merlin grinned and hobbled along the bar. With a final burst of strength, Merlin launched from the bar and embraced Arthur. He was panting and there was a sheen of sweat on his forehead.

"Hi," he said, grinning up at Arthur.

Arthur laughed. "Hi," he said. "Ready to go home?"

"God, yes!" said Merlin.

Arthur laughed again.

"All right, let's grab your things and head off."

A wheelchair was rolled to them by an orderly and Arthur helped Merlin into it. He wheeled Merlin back into the room to get the last of Merlin's items. Most of the flowers, get well stuffed animals and cards were gone. The only items left were a book, couple movies, a change of clothes, and his father's guitar. The books and movies were put in a bag and the guitar in a case that Arthur strapped to his back for easy carrying. The bag was on Merlin's lap as Arthur wheeled him out of the hospital.

"Bye, Merlin!"

"Take care, Merlin."

"Come back to visit, Merlin."

The last was from an eight year old girl with a broken leg. Merlin loved to spent time with the children, singing softly the ones who were scared to sleep before surgeries and played with the ones bedridden. He was well loved by the children as well with over half the walls covered with drawings. Merlin insisted on keeping them and they were placed in a box for keepsake.

"Bye," said Merlin, waving to the patients and nurses seeing him off. He turned to Arthur with a sad smile. "I'm going to miss them."

"We'll come to visit," said Arthur. "Ready?"

"Yeah."

Arthur helped Merlin into the car, set the guitar and bag in the back before getting into the driver's seat and drove down the road. Merlin watched the buildings out the window, as if savoring the sight of the city around him.

"Excited to go home?" asked Arthur.

"Yeah," said Merlin smiling. "Never really liked hospitals, and after spending three months in one, I can't wait to be back in my own bed. God, mum must be going nuts living there all by herself."

"She wasn't entirely alone," said Arthur. "Everyone came by once in a while, have supper Sundays. She even got Gwaine to go to church once."

"And he didn't burst into a ball of flame?" asked Merlin laughing. "Wow, I would have loved to see that."

"It was monumental. Elyan is still milking it out."

Merlin laughed softly. Arthur looked at Merlin's right arm still tucked against Merlin's lower stomach.

"Merlin, why won't you try using your hand?' he asked. "You know it's fixed, right?"

Merlin shook his head.

"No, Arthur, it's broken. What's broken can't be fixed."

"That's bull crap," said Arthur. "You're legs are fixed and you're learning to walk again."

"That's different. My mind can work with my legs, my hand…I just can't."

"Don't say you can't when you haven't tried hard enough. The doctor's said it was psychological. It's your fear of never being able to play again. Get over your fear, and you'll be able to play again."

"I can't. My career is gone. I'd be lucky if anyone wants to use my songs anymore."

"Helen Moira does." Merlin looks at him in shock. "She has your contract drawn up, everything is legit. Lancelot looked it over"

"Really? She…she wants my songs?"

"She said your songs were the best she's heard in her whole career, and that's including the time she was a singer. She wants your songs, Merlin."

Merlin was shocked to hear that Helen still wanted him to work for her despite his condition and confused on what to do next. He'd have to think on it some.

"So, how's Chad?" he asked with a teasing smile. Arthur jerked and looked at Merlin shock.

"Shite, who told you?" he asked, slightly irritated and Merlin thought he heard a touch of fear.

"Gwaine and Morgana and Elyan. Seems you have a fan."

"I'm going to kill Gwaine," said Arthur with gritted teeth. Merlin laughed at his friend's embarrassment.

The rest of the ride was spent with Merlin catching up. When they arrived at Merlin's house, he was surprised to find the cars of his friends in the driveway and along the curb.

"What's going on?" asked Merlin.

"I don't know," said Arthur, trying to keep his smile in check. "Guess we'll have to go in and find out."

Arthur helped Merlin with his new crutches, his right arm still up. He used only one crutch on his left side since it had the worst break and Arthur held Merlin's right arm to steady the young man's shaky gaunt.

"Let's go see what's going on," said Arthur as he opened the door.

"Surprise! Welcome home, Merlin!"

Merlin jumped and would have lost his balance if Arthur didn't have a hold of his arm at the sight of all his friends and mother standing in the living room with food and drinks on the coffee table and a banner that read "Welcome Home, Merlin" strung above the fireplace mantel.

"Guys," said Merlin with a surprise laugh as he hobbled toward a chair. "You didn't have to do this."

"Of course we did," said Gwen. She gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "You're our friend. We're happy that you're home."

"I'm happy to be home," said Merlin looking around. Immediately he saw something out of place. "Mum, is that a new telly?"

He pointed to the new flat screen placed on the entertainment center where their once second hand television was. He started to notice newer high end electronic equipment all around the room.

"You can thank Arthur for that," said Hunith. "I finally got the kitchen I wanted thanks to him, and in return all I have to do is give him my apple cinnamon pie once a week."

"Arthur," said Merlin turning to him, "you didn't have to do that."

"Your mom makes amazing pies," said Arthur taking a sip of punch, luckily not laced with alcohol. Gwen and Morgana had stressed the importance of Merlin not having a drop of alcohol while on his pain meds and Percival made sure to take Gwaine's flask away before he came. "I thought I got the better end of the deal."

Merlin looked at his friend in amazement. Arthur kept surprising him at every turn. The man truly was selfless when it came to the people his life.

"Thank you," said Merlin smiling at him.

Arthur's heart stopped for a moment at the stunning smile on Merlin's face. For a moment he wanted to reach across and kiss the other man, but he held back, remembering that Merlin wasn't for him.

As Merlin had turned to talk to Will and Gwen, discussing Gwen's designs for Morgana's wedding, Arthur walked up to Gwaine and slapped him on the arm.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?" he asked.

"Telling Merlin about Chad," said Arthur looking at Gwaine in irritation.

"Mate wanted to know what was going on, I was filling him in."

"I didn't want him to know about Chad. I can handle it."

"Mate, it's been almost four months. I can see how well you're handling it."

Arthur glared but he didn't deny his friend's statement. Chad was still pursuing Arthur like a crazed roadie. It had gotten to where Chad would spend more time flirting with Arthur than get his work done so Morgana decided she was going to lay him off after the weekend.

The party went on for a couple hours before Gwaine shouted "Karaoke!" and a karaoke machine was brought out. Everyone had a go, including Gwaine who sounded like nails on a chalkboard and everyone booed him off before he finished his number, when the microphone was passed to Merlin.

"Oh, no," said Merlin shaking his head.

"Come on, Merlin," urged Gwen. "It'll be like old times."

"Yeah, come on, Merlin," said Gwaine.

The rest of the friends agreed but Merlin still refused, until Hunith spoke up.

"Merlin, sing your father's song for me, please?" she asked.

Merlin looked at his mother apprehensively before sighing.

"Give," he said, holding his hand out. The mic was placed in it a minute later. "Track 14."

Slow music began to play and on the cue, Merlin began to sing.

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

Each morning I get up I die a little

Can barely stand on my feet

Take a look in the mirror and cry

Lord what you're doing to me

I have spent all my years in believing you

But I just can't get no relief,

Lord!

Somebody, somebody

Can anybody find me somebody to love?

As he sung, everyone watched the weariness and worry fall from his face and be replaced with one of rapture. When he finished, Merlin smiled softly, remembering how much he loved music and singing had made all his fears and worry float away.

"Beautiful, Merlin," said Hunith wrapping an arm around his shoulder. "Beautiful."

The party ended a couple hours after that and Merlin and Arthur watched as each guest left, the couples hand in hand. Arthur turned to Merlin curiously.

"When are you going to tell me who your special someone is?" he asked.

Merlin looked at him curiously. "You really want to know?" Arthur nods. "All right then, I promise you that on Morgana's and Leon's wedding, I will walk up and kiss him in front of everyone. That way, you'll know who it is."

"Why not just tell me?"

"More fun this way," said Merlin with a grin.

Arthur laughed softly. Merlin and his games.

TBC