Scene: ME's office. Morning.

Kate: "Megan! We just got a call in about a dead young woman. I need you to check it out. I can stop in, but then I have to go over to the mayor's office."

Megan: "OK, I'll get Peter."

Kate: "Peter is out on a different case, Curtis is analyzing some samples from the state crime unit, and Ethan is out sick. Take Barry."

Megan (making a face): "Oh, not him. He's disgusting."

Kate: "He's all we've got today. I think I saw him skulking around the lab."

Megan: "OK, I'll get him. But you owe me."

(Megan pulls out her cell phone)

Barry (answering cell phone): "Gail's Garden Supply and Bordello. Whatever kind of (hoes, hose, ho's) you're looking for."

Megan: "You're a pig."

Barry: "But with a triple pun. What do you need, Megan?"

Megan: "Meet me in the parking lot. We're going on a field trip. You're driving."

(cut to an apartment building. Barry and Megan are walking; Kate joins them.)

Megan: "Follow procedures and do what I tell you. I don't want you messing up any evidence."

Barry: "Hey, I've never lost a patient."

Megan: "That is a shockingly insensitive crack about my injury."

Barry: "I wasn't talking about your surgical career. I meant in the ME's office. I understand how a doctor with live patients will occasionally lose one no matter how good their medical skills. But I heard you people lost a dead guy. How does that even happen? A bad doctor can't keep a living patient alive. How incompetent can you be that you can't even keep a dead guy dead? Seems like that would be the easiest rule in the whole office: Dead people brought to the morgue should be encouraged to remain dead at all times."

(Kate has a little difficulty keeping a straight face through this.)

Megan: "Shut up, you moron."

Barry: "Unless this wasn't an accident. (shock of realization) Oh, no! This guy was a successful test. He's just the first soldier in your army of the undead. You and your coroner friends are going to unleash the zombie apocalypse!"

Megan: "Don't zombies come after people to eat their brains?"

Barry: "Yeah, why?"

Megan: "That makes you the safest man in Philadelphia. Good morning, Bud. What have you got for me?"

Bud: "Neighbor called in that they heard a baby crying endlessly, but they couldn't get the mother to answer the door. We found her in the bedroom, with a toddler in the crib."

Megan: "Looks like some bruising and scratches on her forearms, might be defensive wounds. How is the kid?"

Bud: "We just got here a little while ago. The CSU's processed the kid, but we haven't done anything else."

Megan: "Well, he needs to be changed, that's for sure. Come on Bud, I'll give you a lesson."

Bud: "I was hoping not to have to do that for a while."

Megan: "You are such a wuss. I need you to carry him."

Bud: "All right. But this is not in my job description."

Megan: "Hmm. Does this child feel warm to you?"

Bud: "Maybe."

Barry, hearing this, goes to the kitchen while they change the child. He opens the refrigerator, starts rummaging around. He returns with two bottles.

Megan: "Not too bad for a first try, Bud. Now get him to stop crying."

Barry: "I found amoxicillin and children's Tylenol in the fridge. Kid probably has an earache, and hasn't been dosed in a while."

Kate: "We can't guess at that and risk overdosing a child. I need an estimate of when the medicine was last administered, or time of death on the mother."

Megan: "I don't have a very accurate TOD yet. Probably between 3 and 11 pm yesterday."

Kate: "I need something tighter."

Barry: "Is that her cell phone?"

(picks it up, starts looking through it.)

Barry: "Mom is a texting fiend. She read all the messages up through one at 5:30 pm, then everything goes unread and unanswered."

Kate: "That's a good enough time line for me. More than twelve hours since the last dose was administered. Let's get the medicine in this child, feed him and turn him over to child services."

(Megan and Kate start trying to get a cranky, squirming toddler to take the medicine, without much success.)

Megan: "I'll hold his head, you give him the medicine."

Kate: "I'm trying. You have to hold him still."

Megan: "He keeps squirming."

Kate: "He won't open his mouth."

(Barry watches with growing amusement.)

Kate: "What are you laughing at?"

Barry: "You two are pathetic. Two medical degrees and I'm sure several board certifications between you, and together you can't make one toddler take his medicine."

Megan: "I suppose you think you could do better?"

Barry: "Absolutely."

Megan: "OK, smart guy, let's see you do it."

(Barry sits down.)

Barry: "I'm an experienced kid-wrangler. Gimme."

(They hand him the child.)

Barry (starts rocking the little one and talking to him): "What's the matter, rug rat? Those mean old doctors making you miserable?"

(He leans the child back in his arms. The toddler calms down enough to stop wriggling quite so much.)

Barry: "Now I just have to get him to open his mouth."

Megan: "Easier said than done."

Barry: "Watch and learn. Do you have the medicine ready for me, Dr. Murphy?"

(He holds the child with one arm.)

Barry: "You tried to force his jaw open. No kid is going to cooperate with that. But when I pinch his nose shut (Barry does), he has to open his mouth to breathe, and voila!"

(Barry dumps the medicine in the mouth. The women exchange glances.)

Barry: "It doesn't taste all that good. I think I saw a sippy cup with juice in the fridge. If somebody could get that for me, we'll get him a drink."

(Bud goes to kitchen, gets the cup.)

Barry: "Now we give him the cup, and he stops crying."

(Child starts drinking from cup, quiets in order to drink.)

Barry: "See? Parenting is easy. Not exactly rocket surgery."

Megan: "Rocket surgery?"

Bud: "Who is this guy?"

Barry: "Barry Gray. Data forensics."

Bud: "Bud. Bud Morris. My wife and I are expecting. Can I call you if I'm in a jam?"

Barry: "Sure thing. My advice is free, and cheap at twice the price. Babysitting extra."

Megan: "I'd suggest you not leave your baby in his care, Bud."

Bud: "I don't know, Megan. He kinda looks like he knows what he's doing."

(Kate and Megan go to living room.)

Kate: "I have to go. It looks like your team can handle basic child care."

Megan: "Meaning I can't?"

Kate: "Meaning you and the rest of the crew seem to have things under control until we can get child services out here. Don't be so sensitive."

Megan: "Barry was just so smug about it."

Kate: "He showed us up a little. He knew a parenting trick we didn't. Big deal. It's the reason I have tried to diversify the skill sets of people in my department."

Megan: "It just felt like I was being criticized as a doctor and as a mother."

Kate: "He was just showing off. Computer guys are a bunch of know-it-alls. Don't let it get to you. You have other areas of expertise. Look at how he dresses. Clearly ignorant of fashion. Wouldn't know his Jimmy Choos from Ugg."

Megan (smirks): "Got that right. I'll see you later."

(cut to later. Barry and Megan are walking back to his vehicle.)

Megan: "Credit where credit is due. You handled that kid like a pro. I take it you have children?"

Barry: "Three. Not my first rodeo. Mine are older now, youngest is a junior in college."

Megan: "I have a daughter in middle school."

Barry: "Lacey."

Megan: "Yeah. Wait, how did you know her name?"

Barry: "The internet knows all, sees all. How do you two get along?"

Megan: "Teen-age years are shaping up to be a constant battle. How was it for you with three?"

Barry: "No big deal. They're good kids."

Megan: "I find that hard to believe that it was really no big deal."

Barry: "A department secretary once told me that I was the only one she knew that didn't have countless tales of struggles with teens. I blamed their mother."

Megan: "I need to pick up Lacey and drop her off to a riding lesson. Want to meet her?"

Barry: "Why not? Is she nicer than you?"

Megan: "Of course not. No one is nicer than I."

Barry: "Real terror, huh? Well, I'm probably still bigger than she is. I can handle it."

(cut to picking up Lacey. She and Megan get in the car.)

Megan: "Lacey, this is Mr. Gray. Barry, this is my daughter, Lacey."

Barry: "Pleased to meet you, Lacey. Usually your mom just calls me 'New Guy'. I think she is trying to make the point that she is hoping I won't last long enough that she has to actually remember my name."

Lacey: "Pleased to meet you, New Guy."

Megan: "Hey, I..."

Barry: "She's not necessarily wrong. The rest of the department has had some difficulty adjusting to the typical computer nerd type of craziness."

Lacey: "Great. You're a science geek like my mom."

Barry: "Technology geek. And not exactly like your mom. Watch: Megan, would you explain the concept of entropy for us?"

Megan: "What?"

Barry: "Just do it. Surely that came up in a science course somewhere along the line."

Megan: "All right. Second Law of Thermodynamics, the tendency of a closed system to evolve toward maximum disorder. It's a measure of the useful work available for a given energy input. No system is 100% efficient, and some energy is always dissipated as heat, requiring more energy input to keep the system going. Standard physics and chemistry."

Barry: "OK. Can you tell me what that means, Lacey?"

Lacey: "I don't have the slightest idea what you guys are talking about."

Barry: "All right, now let me give you an explanation. Entropy is how it takes work to clean your room, but it gets messy all by itself."

Megan: "That is a totally ridiculous explanation."

Barry: "But one she can understand and remember. Lacey, do you have an idea of what entropy is about now?"

Lacey: "I think I might. Mom, can we have New Guy over sometime if I am having trouble with science? At least his explanations are interesting."

Megan: "We'll see. I'm not sure I want him to know where I live."

Barry: "Too late. I can get that off the internet. I'll check what it looks like with Google Street Views."

Megan: "You are a menace."

Barry: "If you don't like my driving, take a cab."

Megan: "I wasn't referring to that, but now that you mention it, that light back there was pretty yellow."

Barry: "I usually have the right of way."

Megan: "Why would you have the right of way? This isn't an ambulance."

Barry: "No, it's an old, rusting, beat-up minivan. The crappiest car always has the right of way. Where did you learn to drive, rural Iowa? Everybody in a big city knows this rule."

Megan: "Lacey, don't listen to him. That's not a real rule."

Lacey: "But it's funny, Mom."

Megan: "Just get out of the car and go to your riding lesson. I'll pick you up after work, if I survive the trip with this maniac."

Lacey: "Bye, Mom."

(she exits the vehicle. Might use an external camera shot of the vehicle, use the voices)

Megan: "You are never giving my daughter driving lessons. I see why you never had problems with your teen-agers. You're worse than they are."

Barry: "Parenting by counter-example. Leaving them in constant fear for their lives and reputations. It's amazingly effective."

Megan: "It's a wonder your children survived."

Barry: "Hey! They say the same thing!"

(fade out)