Chapter 17 – Goodbye

With Phil's mum in the house, I had to put in practice the plan of sneaking in the middle of the night to Phil's room, more exactly to his bed, without anyone noticing. Fortunately I wasn't caught so I could sleep one more night next to Phil.

As he sensed me entering his room, he pushed himself to one side of the bed to make room for me. His bed was warm, which felt good, since it's the end of December and it's freaking cold everywhere. I pulled the covers to cover me and got closer to Phil putting an arm around his waist.

"Oh, you're cold." He complained as soon as I touched him.

"Well, I had to walk the entire hallway until I get here without getting noticed, so I don't want to hear complains, or you'll be sleeping alone." I said making a mocking but serious tone at the same time.

"Oh really? Someone got grumpy." He said. "You weren't like that this afternoon. Want me to remind you?" Now he was clearly teasing me.

I didn't reply. Instead, without him noticing, I got my face closer to his and grabbed his lower lip between my teeth, biting and pulling gently. Letting his lip go, I got nearer to his ear and whispered:

"Maybe I Do need you to remind me…" And with my tongue I caught his ear lobe and sucked on it with my lips. I could tell that he went really still and was holding his breath through the entire time.

"Okay… you win…" Phil managed to say. I laughed and gave him a small peck on his cheek.

We got silent for a while. I was feeling sleepy and Phil's breath was getting heavier so he was close to fall sleep too. Tomorrow was going to be my last day here, and I was afraid.

I don't know when I'm going to see Phil again; I don't know how long it's going to take. I shouldn't be so attached to someone that lives far away from me. I never had a long distance relationship before so I don't know if it's normal to feel the way I feel, to want to never leave, to wonder if the other person is struggling as much as I am because of the distance that keeps us apart.

I tried to push these thought away. I have plenty of time to thing about this after I'm gone. Now I have to enjoy the moment.

I hugged Phil that was now asleep, and tried to do the same thing.

I woke up with Phil getting up.

"Sorry for waking you up. I guess it was my turn this time" He said, giving me a little smile.

"Don't worry" I replied, rubbing my eyes trying to adjust my vision. "Where are you going?"

"Kitchen. Thought it would be good to grab something to eat. Do you want anything?"

"Whatever you're having." I said, not bothering about thinking. I just can't do it after waking up.

"Okay, be back in a minute." He said, disappearing into the hallway.

I closed my eyes again and turned to the other side, to try to get a few more minutes of rest. I took Phil's pillow and hugged it. Hugging things always helped me sleep better; I still have a teddy bear that my mum bought from Harrods from the year I was born. But this wasn't my teddy bear. This is Phil's pillow and it smells so much like him.

Is it weird to sniff a pillow for five minutes? Well if it is, then I'm a weirdo.

Ten minutes later Phil arrived with a tray with two bowls of milk and cereals. Sitting next to me, he tapped me on the shoulder to warn me that the "breakfast" was ready.

Making an effort to sit down, I let go off his pillow and approached him. After grabbing one of the bowls I start to eat.

"So, what are our plan for today?" I asked.

"We need to finish the Christmas adventure…"

"Oh… Right."

"I was thinking that we could include my mum on it. I think it will be fun to see how my subscribers will react, since you are always making stupid jokes about her."

"She could be one of the monsters!"

Phil laughed. "Yeah, I think she will like it."

Phil's mum is the best mum ever. She fully supports Phil in his decisions and tries to help him in every way she can. She doesn't mind Phil uploading videos of his live on the Internet, she said that she rather that than him being a boy with no interests at all, or worse.

After finishing our breakfast, we dressed ourselves and got ready to film. We recorded every take missing and even the one with Phil's mum, that she found hilarious.

But now comes the boring part. The editing. And because this was an interactive video, we needed to make all the links on Youtube, and make sure they were working. Needless to say that it took us all day to finish it.

We uploaded it to Youtube and went to do something else to entertain us until dinner was ready. Videogames was the only option.

The next day

Me and Phil were waiting at the train station for my train to arrive. It was 10:47am and my train was supposed to arrive at 11am, so we still had some time to spend together.

"It was nice to have you here Dan." Phil said, interlocking our hands together.

"I had a good time too." I said smiling. "Shame it was only four days."

"Yeah…"

We both looked to each other not knowing exactly what to say.

"Look Dan…" Phil started "I know that it's hard for long distance relationships to work, but I'm willing to give it a try. That is, if you agree with it, of course."

"I do Phil." I said right after. "I have been thinking about this too, but was afraid to talk to you because I thought you had a different opinion."

"In the beginning I had. But after these four days I realized that you're not just another person to me, and I think that if we want, we can make it work."

We both smiled.

"And I'll try to come visit you next time. It can't be always you coming to Manchester."

"I couldn't agree more."

By this time the train had arrived and there were only two minutes before the departure.

"I think you better go now, don't want you to lose your train." Phil said smiling, but I could see in his eyes that he was slightly sad. I got closer to him and gave him a deep kiss, trying to express everything that couldn't be said by words.

"Bye Phil." I said, getting inside the train.

"Bye Dan. Tell me when you get home."

"I will."

We shared a last smile before I entered the coach looking for my seat.

As the train started to move I couldn't help thinking: I hate goodbyes.

a/n: Yeah, sorry about this chapter. It's not as happy as the other ones, but goodbyes are never a happy thing! I still hope you enjoy it though :] thanks for reading xx

- Mariana