Scene: Megan's office. Her mother is sitting in her chair. Barry walks in.

Barry: "Megan. You look different today. Get your hair done? New dress?"

Joan (hint of a smile): "If your observational skills are genuinely poor enough that you easily mistake me for my daughter, you should find another line of work."

Barry (laughs): "Consider it a weak attempt at flattery. Pleased to meet you, Judge Hunt. I'm Barry Gray, data forensics."

Joan: "We're not in court. You may call me Joan. Are you new around here?"

Barry: "Pretty new. Megan still refers to me as 'New Guy'."

Joan: "I think my granddaughter might have mentioned you. You argued a case in Megan's court to advocate Lacey being allowed to set her own bed time."

Barry: "That would be me."

Joan: "Impressive work. Not too many people win arguments with my daughter. Have you ever considered law school?"

Barry: "Thought about it. Then I found out I would have to spend all day with lawyers."

Joan: "We lose more people that way..."

(Megan returns to her office, is horrified to see Barry and her mother already there.)

Megan: "This can't be good. Double case of hemorrhoids."

(Megan enters the office.)

Megan: "Mother! What are you doing here? Barry, go find some work to do."

Barry: "That is no way to greet the loving parent who raised you."

Megan: "Shut up."

Joan: "That's not a very polite way to talk to a co-worker. You need to work on your interpersonal skills, dear."

(Megan realizes she is being tag-teamed.)

Megan: "Sorry. You're right."

(exaggerated deference)

Megan: "How pleasant to see both of you. I take it you've already made your introductions? To what do I owe the double honor of your presence?"

Joan: "I just dropped by to see you, since you hardly ever return my calls. Mr. Gray came by and was keeping me company while I waited for you."

Megan: "Mother, this is my workplace. You have to quit 'dropping by'. It's unprofessional."

Barry: "You're welcome to stop by and see me, Joan. I won't fuss."

Joan: "How kind of you to extend the invitation, Barry. It's nice to know that someone around here can abide me."

Barry: "I'll be happy to chat with you any time. Well, I'm sure you two have family matters to discuss. I'll just duck out now, before Megan murders me in front of a judge. Nice to meet you, Joan. Maybe we should get together for lunch sometime."

Joan: "My daytime schedule is rather hectic."

Barry: "Drinks then. Ta-ta."

(he leaves)

Joan: "Charming man. Not at all like you described. Not that you talk to me much..."

Megan (watched Barry leave, now distractedly): "Um, I just remembered something urgent I need to discuss with Barry. Excuse me a moment, mother."

(she exits, hurries to catch up with Barry)

Megan (shouting-but-not-loudly-enough-for-her-mother-to-hear): "Hey. New Guy! What the hell was that?"

Barry: "What was what?"

Megan: "You called her Joan and were chatting her up. Why were you hitting on my mother?"

Barry: "I wasn't hitting on her. She seemed nice, but you seem determined to keep her from the rest of us. Why should I not go out for a drink with a new friend?"

Megan: "Because your new friend is my mother! The last two people on earth that I want having any involvement with each other are you and my mother!"

Barry: "Now, Megan, we're all adults here..."

Megan: "Aauugh! Why do people keep saying that?"

Barry: "I have no idea what you are talking about."

Megan: "Never mind. I forbid you to see my mom."

Barry: "I don't think you can do that."

Megan: "Watch me."

Barry: "I'll just take it to court and get it overturned."

Megan: "Look, Buster..."

Barry: "Megan, your mother's feelings will be hurt if I don't follow through. She'll think I have something against your family, and she'll blame you. Tell you what, I'll go out, but make it clear that it's not a date, and that I'm not trying to start dating her. Her choice to back out."

Megan: "How do I get in the middle of these things? OK, you can go one time. Just remember that I know how to use a scalpel. I can make you permanently uninterested in women. And I won't need an anesthesiologist."

Barry: "Ouch."

(end scene)

Scene: bar with Barry and Joan.

Joan: "Thank you for inviting me. Though I must say I've less stringent terms in many contracts."

Barry: "Megan's demands. She was in a bit of a tizzy."

Joan: "So why did you ask me here?"

Barry: "I moved to the area less than a year ago, I haven't built up that long a list of friends yet. You struck me as an interesting and worthwhile companion. And it's another way to drive Megan nuts. Win-win."

Joan: "You lack manners. Did you really expect a woman to appreciate being invited out for such a callous reason?"

Barry: "You're not that dense. You knew better than I that it would make her crazy. Yet you showed up. I doubt it was just the offer of free alcohol."

Joan (chuckles): "Well argued. But I have a question for you."

Barry: "Fire at will."

Joan: "I make Megan crazy because I'm her mother. It's an occupational hazard. Why do you do it?"

Barry: "I didn't go after her specifically. I just started out with a few little jokes to liven up the office. Other people laughed or looked slightly annoyed, she went berserk. That put the target on her back. And everybody else seems to be afraid of her, so I'm the cult hero."

Joan: "Makes sense. Promise me you'll keep me up-to-date on her torture."

Barry: "That's a deal. Maybe I should start a blog or something."

Joan: "I'd read it."

Barry: "In return, I promise to cooperate if you want to use me to get to Megan."

Joan: "How would you feel about an overnight stay? Not necessarily sexual, I do have a guest bedroom. Just be there in the morning for Megan to see, then I can get something from her in exchange for dropping you."

Barry: "We could work something out. Boy, you really play hard-ball when you negotiate. Extracting something from Megan in return for dropping a guy you weren't actually seeing is a pretty shrewd play. You are a delightfully wicked woman, Judge Hunt."

Joan: "Back at ya, Mr. Gray."

(they clink glasses, fade out.)