I lost track of how long we were in the dungeons, but I guessed it had been a week at the least, perhaps two. My time was interrupted at night when Kili slept, when the guards would come and take me to my father for questioning. He would hit me and punch me and put pressure on my ribs until I begged and screamed for him to stop, although he never re-broke them. Kili did not know, and I did not intend to tell him.

Kili had taken my brother's words to heart and did not let me up except when Tauriel came to take me to the washroom. The other dwarves, Kili most of all, were furious. Dwarves at their best are intimidating, and terrifying at their worst; I was glad that they were on my side. Nearly all of them, besides being angry at elves in general for impeding their progress and locking them up, were fuming at the fact that my father had beaten me. Perhaps they would not have been so angered if I had walked away unscathed, but since I was dragged back with three broken ribs, they now harbored a deep hatred for the Elvenking.

If nothing else, it proved that they cared for me, which warmed my heart and gave me great joy: I finally felt that I belonged somewhere; that I had a people whom I cared for and who cared for me. However, the question of 'What happens next?' haunted me. 'What will happen if we reach the mountain? If Erebor is rebuilt, will the dwarves really allow an elf—the daughter of the king who left them to fire—to live with them?' I immediately dismissed the thought. There was no chance of me living there, even if Erebor was retaken. Even if all the dwarves survived and would allow me to stay, I still could not do it. I needed to make the journey to the Grey Havens; I needed to sail to the Undying Lands.

A small, clear voice in my head continued pestering me. 'But why? What is the real reason you have to leave? Just answer the question. Answer it. It's not that hard, Princess, answer the question.'

"Because I'm afraid!" I burst out suddenly, unable to silence the voice. My ribs ached but were nearly healed because of my elven blood and did not hurt me when I sat up. Kili had fallen asleep, so I sat up against the wall, pulling my legs up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them, resting my chin on my knees. "Because I'm a coward," I croaked, my voice breaking as tears ran down my face. "Because I'm lost, and I don't know what to do anymore!"

I let myself sink into despair. I had been returned to my cell but an hour before, and I ached from being beaten. A parent should never beat their child. I knew that soon my father's guard would be here again to take me away to seek an answer I could not—would not—give. I knew that I would be tortured again and again. I knew that I would never escape, and that I would remain here in agony until the time came that Thranduil decided to kill me. The darkness began to cover my mind, and for the first time I did not resist. I might have been taken by it had Kili not chosen that moment to awaken.

At the moment Kili woke up, the cobwebs of sleep instantly disappearing when he saw that I was sitting up instead of lying on my back. "Aeyera—" he stopped when he realized that I was crying, and he scooted over to me, frowning. In the shadow of the cell he could not see the new bruises that covered my skin. He lay down beside me and gently pulled me down so that my head rested on his chest as I cried. "Lie down, Princess," he murmured, gently lowering me to the ground. One of his arms was around my shoulders, and the other rested over his chest. "What's wrong?" he asked, looking down at me in concern.

"It doesn't matter," I said, burying my head in his shirt. I didn't want to see him; I wanted to tell him what was going on. I wanted him to save me. But I couldn't. Kili would stop at nothing to defend me, and if Thranduil learned how much he meant to me, he would torture him as well.

"Princess," he said sternly. "You are the strongest person I have ever known, next to my family. If you're crying, something has to be wrong."

"It's just… I can't—" I choked. "There's this voice… in my head. I can't get it out, but it's right…"

"What's right?" he asked, confused. "A voice—? I don't understand…?"

"You wouldn't," I said sadly. The fabric muffled my voice, and it restricted my breathing a bit. I didn't care. "Ever since Dol Guldur, there's been a darkness in my mind. Now I feel like it's talking to me, pulling out my deepest fears and displaying them in front of me."

"What do you mean?"

"I—" I stopped. "I just… I'm a coward!" I burst out, my voice muffled by Kili's shirt. I curled into him, feeling his grip around me tighten. "I ran away when I was a child, and I've been running away ever since. I'm still running, and I don't… I don't even know where I'm going!" I was crying very hard by now, my tears soaking the prince's shirt as he pulled me closer to him. My ribs smarted, but I didn't relax.

"Aeyera," he said, "look at me." I looked up at Kili, my vision blurry with tears. I breathed out shakily, feeling the salty drops of liquid roll down my cheeks and onto the stone beneath me. "You are not a coward," he said gently, his voice firm.

"I am," I said, closing my eyes and clenching a handful of his tunic in my fist. "I am a coward."

"No you're not," he said sternly. "Do you know what I see when I look at you?" he suddenly asked. I shook my head, eyes still tightly closed. "I see a strong, beautiful young woman—elf, I mean—who is loyal and brave and true. I see someone who would never give up on her friends and who would give her life to protect those whom she loves. That is what I see. That is who you are. You are not defined by darkness, Aeyera," he said, lifting my chin up with his finger as I opened my eyes. He brushed the wetness off my cheeks, his brown eyes gazing wistfully into my own. "I wish you could see it."

I stared at him, my lips parted slightly. I blinked away the tears in my eyes, feeling a blush rise to my cheeks. "No one's ever spoken to me like that before," I managed, unable to wrench my green eyes from his dark ones.

"I'm telling the truth, you know," he murmured, leaning closer. "I mean every word."

I leaned closer too, my heard beating out a drumroll in my chest. I closed my eyes, and just before our lips touched, I pulled away, turning my head.

"I'm sorry," the blushing prince said, looking away. "I shouldn't have… I didn't mean…"

"It's okay," I said, pulling away to sit against the wall and wincing at the ache in my chest, noting that it wasn't only my ribs that hurt anymore. I couldn't be with him. I couldn't give my father leverage over me. Kili gently placed his hands on my shoulders and moved me back to the ground, not wanting me to reinjure myself.

Kili moved to sit next to the gate and began fiddling with a small, dark stone he had held in his pocket, flipping it into the air and catching it, repeating the same action over and over as he did so. "What is it?" I asked looking over at him. I fixed my eyes on the stone, watching as the dim light of the prison reflected off of it.

"It is a Talisman," he replied, glancing at me. I looked at him curiously, and he continued, a dark look on his face. "A powerful spell is upon it; if any but a dwarf reads the runes on this stone…" he shook his head, closing his eyes. "They will be forever cursed!" He held up the stone as his eyes snapped open, making me jump in surprise. I frowned as he lowered it, a solemn look on his face. I made to turn away, and he spoke again. "Or not," he added. I turned my head to see that the solemn look had faded away, replaced by a kind one. "Depending on whether you believe in that kind of thing. It's just a token," he said, grinning childishly and laughing. I smiled back. "A Rune Stone," he said, looking down at the token cradled in his hands. "My mother gave it to me so I'd remember my promise."

I tilted my head to the side curiously, watching him unblinkingly. "What promise?" I asked.

Kili gazed up at me, looking sad. "That I would come back to her." He paused for a moment, giving my heart time to give a particularly painful throb. "She worries," he explained, tossing the stone into the air. "She thinks I'm reckless," he added, catching the stone and looking over at me innocently.

I raised my eyebrows, trying in vain to hide my smile. "And are you?"

"Nah," he smirked, throwing the stone up. This time it bounced away, and I caught it in my palm before it could fall through a crack. I picked it up gently, lightly running my finger over its smooth surface as I observed the runes cut into the glistening surface.

"Sounds like quite the party they're having up there," he commented, glancing up at the ceiling.

"It is Mereth Nuin Giliath; The Feast of Starlight. All light is sacred to the Eldar, but the Wood Elves love best the light of the stars," I said wistfully, wishing I could be where I could see the stars again. It had been too long since I had seen the sky. It reminded me of the time I spent in Dol Guldur: two decades in darkness, never once seeing the stars or the sun or the sky.

"I always thought it is a cold light; remote and far away," he said softly, gazing over at me.

I looked curiously back at him, a smile gracing my lips. "It is memory," I said, my voice light and gentle like the glow from the stars I love so much. "Precious and pure." We gazed at each other before I glanced down at the stone, holding it out for him to take. "Like your promise." Kili took the stone, making sure our fingertips brushed as he did so. I looked up at the stone ceiling, remembering. "I have walked there sometimes," I said softly. "Beyond the forest and up into the night. I have seen the world fall away and the white light forever fill the air."

"I saw a fire moon once," Kili told me softly, his face lighting up. "It rose over the pass near Dunland—Huge! Red and gold it was, it filled the sky." I sat up a bit so that I didn't have to crane my neck to see him, and he continued speaking animatedly, eyes alight with the memory of it. "We were an escort for some merchants from Ered Luin; they were trading in silverwork for furs. We took the Greenway south, keeping the mountain to our left, and then it appeared. This huge fire moon lighting our path. I wish I could show you…"

He trailed off for a moment, and I shifted slightly, eager to hear more. "What else have you seen?" I asked, brushing my hair out of my eyes. Because I had been forced to lie down for so long, my hair hung messily around my face, and I had been unable to braid it since the stretching movement made my ribs burn and twist unnaturally.

"Do you need help?" he asked hesitantly, instantly looking like he wished he hadn't said anything. "With your hair, I mean," he said hastily. The dwarves who until now had been speaking quietly among themselves went silent. I wondered at the change but thought little of it, not understanding at the time the gravity of Kili's request.

"Yes," I smiled wearily, "I just… I can't reach it to pull it back." He nodded and moved over so that he sat behind me, cross-legged on the floor. Tentatively, he took several strands of hair next to my face and began braiding them back towards himself, occasionally adding other pieces while he went. "Have you ever seen a star-shower?" I asked, looking straight ahead as he did the same small braid on the other side of my head.

"I haven't," he said, tugging gently on the left braid. "But I'm guessing you have?"

I sighed, a smile crossing my face as I remembered it. "Yes," I said softly, bringing my knees up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them. "It was while I was travelling with the rangers. We had just crossed over into Rohan. It had been a long time since we had rested, but we still had a couple days until we reached Edoras, and Arathorn's father, Arador, had given me an urgent message that needed to be delivered to King Folcwineof Rohan."

"King Folcwine?" Kili repeated, confused. "I do not remember that name." He began braiding other small strains together, drawing them all back to my neck.

"That is because the king died two years later," I explained. "His son Fengel now reigns as king over Rohan, and has done so for the past forty-six years." I continued my story, seeing it again in my mind's eye. "It was late, nearing midnight, when we finally stopped. The rangers would take turns taking watch, and Arathorn stayed up with me, since I didn't sleep (I still don't, if I can help it). I was watching the mountains from atop a rock when a flash of light caught my attention. I looked around but didn't see anything else, so I thought I had been imagining it. A moment later, another spark caught my attention, and before long there were scores of stars falling across the sky. Not all at once, mind you," I added, "but in pairs of two or three, crossing each other's paths and disappearing only to be replaced by another, more brighter star." I sighed, relaxing my shoulders. "I'll never forget it," I murmured wistfully. "I only wish I could live to see one again."

"Can't you?" Kili asked, a frown apparent in his voice. His tugging ceased for a moment. I noticed that the dwarves were speaking once again, a chorus of whispers that filled the stone corridors like the sound of a summer breeze through wheat. "You're an elf, aren't you? You of all people—"

"Kili," I stopped him, closing my eyes as he began gently twisting the hair atop my head and bringing it down to my back. "Please don't ask me to talk about this."

"Why not?" he asked, bringing several of the smaller braids up and twisting them in with the larger ones.

I sighed and muttered something about the stubbornness of dwarves, but he wasn't shaken. "Don't ask me something you don't want to hear the answer for," I warned softly, feeling a soft tug near the nape of my neck. "Please."

"What if I do want to hear the answer?" he pushed gently, weaving the remainder of the small braids in with the main pleat, which reached halfway down my back.

"Trust me," I swallowed, my throat dry. "You don't."

He waited quietly for a few moments, before: "You're leaving, aren't you?" My silence was his answer, and I sighed, closing my eyes as he tied off the end of the braid. "Why wouldn't you tell me?" he asked, his voice breaking.

I turned, looking up at him with wide eyes as he stared back down at me with weary brown ones. "I didn't want to hurt you," I whispered, staring back at him sadly.

"Not telling me and leaving would've hurt me more," he said softly.

"I'm sorry," I murmured, horrified to find that I was tearing up even though I had just sobbed into his side minutes before. "I just…" I trailed off, not knowing how to tell him the most important part of my story.

"What?" he asked, scooting closer to me. When I hesitated, he added, "You know you can trust me, don't you?"

"I know," I gasped. My heart beat wildly against my chest, and I was terrified of how my answer would affect him. After a moment of struggle, I blurted out, "I'm dying!" A blanket of silence reigned over the dungeon as Kili stared at me, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, as he processed this new information. The voices outside, which had picked back up as I told Kili my story, had fallen silent again. Tension crackled in the air as Kili opened and closed his mouth several times, resembling a fish. After several minutes, he managed to gasp out, "You what?"

"I'm dying," I repeated, my voice cracking. I felt despair crash down on me like a hurricane and I curled in on myself, holding my knees to my chest even tighter than before. "I didn't want to tell you, because—because I didn't want you to get hurt, and—"

"Hey," he said, moving closer to me and wrapping an arm around my shoulders, "I'm not… I'm not mad," he said, choosing his words carefully. "I'm glad you told me. But… you're dying? How?"

"You know how!" I wailed into my knees. "I was stabbed my the Morgul blade, and I lost the will to stay in Middle Earth after Arathorn was killed, and—"

"Did you love him?" Kili blurted suddenly. I pulled me head up and turned to look at him incredulously, tear tracks still framing my face.

"Did I—did I love Arathorn?" I clarified, sniffing once at the mention of my old friend. Truly, I loved him, but as a brother and a friend, not the way that Kili clearly thought I did. "No," I said, turning to face the wall. "He was my dear friend, my brother-in-arms for the entire time we fought together, nearly fifty years, but I did not love him. At least not in the romantic way you clearly are thinking of," I added when I glimpsed his flushed face. "It broke my heart when I learned of his passing, though," I said softly. "I had not seen him in ten years, almost, but it still hurt more than you could possibly imagine. The Dúnedain often live to be over a hundred," I explained, "And to have one fall at so young an age…" I shuddered.

"How old was he?" Kili asked, his eyebrows furrowing.

"He was sixty when he died, according to the rangers who were with him," I said softly. "He would be nearly seventy now."

"I'm sorry," he said. "I didn't know how much he meant to you."

I sighed again, very aware of the rapt attention I was receiving from the rest of the company. "I know. You don't have to apologize to me. And as much as it hurt to lose him, I know that it'd hurt more to lose you. That's why I didn't tell you, I thought—I thought you'd hate me."

He touched my jaw with his finger, gently turning me to face him. He face held an expression of disbelief, and his eyes flickered with an emotion I wasn't well acquainted with—love. "I could never hate you," he whispered, moving closer to me. Unlike before, when I shied away from him, I moved closer, letting my eyes drift closed. "I love you," he whispered as our lips touched. After a moment, we both pulled away, gasping; I felt as if I had just been struck by lightning. I touched my lips, which were tingling pleasantly.

We both stared at each other with wide eyes, unsure of what we had just done. A guard walked passed, taking no notice of us. I moved forward, closing the gap between us. Love ignited my heart, and I embraced the feeling, letting it surge through me. "And I you," I murmured, pressing my lips to his as his hand touched my face, the other pressed against the braid in my hair. His lips were soft, and they moved against mine slowly as I tilted my head, one hand resting on his shoulder, the other on his cheek.

"Oi," Dwalin's gruff voice came from the cell next door. "There'd better be some talking in a minute, unless you want me coming in!"

Kili and I pulled apart, blushing, and Kili grinned, his eyes sparkling. "Not a word to Fili," he whispered, "I'd never hear the end of it."

-O-

Several days later, Kili and I were sitting next to each other, telling stories. My ribs had stopped aching, to my relief. Kili grinned at me as he finished giving a detailed description of Thorin's face when he and Fili nearly hit him with an arrow, piercing his shirt with it. I smiled back before a grim thought popped into my head.

"Kili?" I murmured, frowning. He looked up, confused as to why my light mood had disappeared. "What now? What happens when we reach the mountain?" he frowned as I continued, as if the thought hadn't struck him before either. "Thorin will never allow this," I said lowly, staring at the ground, "Us. And if we were to ever have children… your people would never accept someone who is half-elf into the line of Durin."

As far as I knew, I hadn't told him of my inability to bear children, and I hoped I would never have to. Perhaps a miracle would happen and I could have them.

He remained silent for a moment, then spoke, his voice slow as if he were tasting every word before speaking it. "You know, Princess," he said his brows furrowing, "I don't think you're right about that." He looked up, a hopeful glint in his dark eyes. "My people—at least a few of them—know you as the 'Exiled Princess' who risked everything to help our people; they'd respect you. Besides, even if they didn't, it'd be my choice, not Thorin's, and not theirs." He moved closer, wrapping his arm around me and pressing his forehead to mine. "Besides," he added, his voice low. "I chose you a long time ago."

I turned, nuzzling my head into the crook between his shoulder and neck as we sat, curled together, in my father's dungeons. 'This, of course, is assuming we ever get out of here,' I thought. I didn't speak my thoughts aloud, though; I couldn't bear to extinguish Kili's hope.

Just then, a guard came to the door, Thranduil striding haughtily beside him. Apprehension turned my heart to lead. He knew. I knew from the way his eyes glimmered with malice as they darted between Kili and I that he knew how much I cared for him.

I stood, feeling my legs begin to shake. "What do you want?" I barked, my teeth bared in a snarl.

He observed me lightly, taking in my disheveled appearance. "Why, you didn't tell me you'd made a friend," he said softly.

He watched Kili with his frighteningly light eyes, and I blanched in fear. "Don't touch him," I growled, stepping in front of him. Kili hadn't moved.

"Ah, my dear," he said softly. His tone sent shivers of terror up my spine. I realized then that I feared Azog the Defiler less than I feared the king before me. "I think it's time you say goodbye to him, why don't you?"

"Why don't you get your fairy ass out of here!" Dwalin bellowed from his cell. Kili leapt to his feet and dragged me back behind him, keeping an iron grip on my wrist.

Thranduil ignored him. "Bring her," he said, then turned and headed deeper into the dungeon. It would be worse; somehow today would be so much worse, I could feel it. Another guard appeared seemingly from nowhere and joined the first. As the guard opened the cell, Kili rushed forward, but the second guard slunk in and held a knife to my throat, effectively stopping Kili's fight. The guard shoved him back as the first led me out. Once the cell was locked, they tied my shaking arms behind my back and dragged me down the stone steps, sometimes carrying me as I writhed in an attempt to free myself. I screamed and kicked and did everything I could to escape, but to no avail. The company yelled after me, shouting profanities at the guards and cursing them, but it was in vain. When we reached a room I had never been in—the torture chamber, I supposed—they opened the door and shoved me inside. It was lit with torches, and moisture dripped from the walls. Shackles hung from the ceiling, and a whip hung on its peg, coiled neatly beside several long rods. I pulled away with a cry and tried to run, but the guards held me back.

Thranduil waited there, watching me carefully. The guards pulled my tunic off, much in the way the goblins had where I was not completely uncovered—my breast bindings and bandages remained—but I was very close. The guards half dragged, half carried my squirming form to the walls and chained my wrists there. I was so small that my feel just barely touched the ground, and my arms were stretched to the limit above my head.

"You know why you are here," Thranduil said, his voice deadly calm. "And you know what you have to do to leave."

When I didn't answer, he nodded to one of the guards, who struck me across the back with one of the rods. It made a sharp whistling noise as it flew through the air, and I yelled as it slammed into my skin. I leapt forward, swinging on the chains. I grasped then with my hands, scraping the metal with my nails.

"Just betray them," he whispered, moving to stand inches away. He leaned down so that our faces almost touched. "You've done it before." His hot, sour breath made me sick. "You betrayed your family."

"You're not my family," I bit out, glaring up at him through bloodshot eyes. I cried out as the pole struck my naked back once more. "They are more of a family than you ever were!" I screamed and clenched my teeth as the bar sliced across my skin thrice more.

"So you care for them, do you?" he questioned. He paced before me, not glancing once at my trembling figure. He nodded. The pole struck me a dozen more times, and I was crying, biting back sobs as my body shook wildly. The chains rattled; they were the only things keeping me from collapsing. "What if we were to take your cell mate down here?" he asked. "Would the sound of his screams persuade you to obey?"

I began to shake now out of fear and anger, not just out of pain. My mind clouded. "I will kill you if you lay a finger on any of them," I gasped out, leaning forward.

He stopped his pacing in front of me and gazed down at me in mock pity, his lower lip sticking out a bit. "Oh, I'm sure you will. But for now, let's not resort to extreme measures."

He nodded, and the all-too-familiar whistle of a whip cut through the air. I barely had enough time to tense before it broke through the skin, leaving a bloody welt in its wake. I shrieked and surged forward, stopped by the chains. One of the guards came and held me in place as the other continued. I counted, as I always had, timing the lashes in an attempt to alleviate some of the pain. Thirty-three. He stopped, and the guard unchained me. I fell to the ground, unable to hold myself up.

Thranduil knelt down, being careful to keep his robes out of the blood. "After today, you will have one more chance," he whispered. "If you refuse me, you will die."

He swept out of the room with his two guards, and two others entered right after and wrapped up my back. They knew that if unattended, I would die of infection, and so they always cleaned and wrapped the wounds. I had learned early that although they were my father's men, they partially remained loyal to my brother. At least, these two did. As they pulled the tunic back over my head and tied my wrists together, Thranduil stepped back in. "I will take her back," he said authoritatively. The two guards glanced at each other, then at him, and nodded, allowing him to grasp my shoulder and yank me out the door.

He then grasped the rope binding my wrists and used it as a lead rope of sorts to pull me up the corridors and stairs back to the dungeon. He said nothing, but a smirk rested on his lips. When we reached the cells where the company stayed, he glanced around. They had not noticed us yet. "Which is yours?" he mused. I glanced unconsciously at the cell I shared with Kili, and his smirk grew. "How nice." He pulled me forward and I tripped, slamming my knee into the stone. As I struggled to get up, my arms raised over my head, he kneed me in the ribs, and I cried out as he jerked me to my feet. The company's attention was now focused solely on me. Most, like Thorin, were dumbstruck; others, including Dwalin, were not. Thranduil threw open the door of an empty cell beside Kili's, across from Thorin, and shoved me inside. I remained where I fell, shaking, as the door slammed shut and locked. He strode away, straightening his robes. "One more chance, traitor," he called over his shoulder. "Or they all die, starting with the one you love most."