A/N: I was going to write this yesterday. But I had writer's block, which is my code for 'I felt lazy'. Also, you will hate this chapter.

Mini update: This is for the one who calls himself my fan, AKA 'Your Fan' AKA "SillySlySy' unless he has a twin identical in personality. First off, I hope this update kicks in before you reach this chapter. Second off, I like LessWrong. Even if he is stuck up. Thirdly, yeah, you hit the nail on the with the Parody Sue thing. Honestly, my real concern is all those 'Harry Sue' stories that are cropping up. Third of all, you do actually have the right to call me kid...barely. Fourthly, citing the source of an idea doesn't qualify as propaganda. Even if the source happens to be a friend. Fifthly and finally, keep up the reviews.

So far my poll has two votes, one for 'No' and the other for 'What kind of a poll is this?' One of them may have been my own test vote. However, I'm writing a sample summary of the story so far:

Story so far: The Doctor and his merry wife are taking a tour of New Zealand, with the likes of Will Turner and Magneto (who is an 'old friend' of the Doctor's). There are currently two evil Sues present, one of whom is annoyed at the other. Overprotective heroic male characters make it difficult for them to be Sporked. Gandalf said, "We ride."

And now, we continue from the final scene of the last chapter. Kindly visualize three horses streaking across an empty plain, and conjure up some epic music in your head. Preferably 'The King of the Golden Hall', AKA Awesome Rohan violin music.

"Well, this is uncomfortable." Gimli muttered as the horses trotted across the empty plain.

Gandalf had insisted that neither Aragorn nor Legolas should ride with either of the 'newcomers'. It was a good idea, the Doctor had heard the word 'elope' come up several times in the murmured conversations between the heroes and their newfound beloveds. Unfortunately, it wasn't easy for Gandalf to persuade them, he had to use his Saruman voice and call in all of his favours.

It had worked, but that just opened up a whole new argument between the man and elf as to who go to generously give their horse to the 'fairest of ladies'. Aragorn's gesture towards 'the fairest of ladies' somehow skipped over River Song.

Weapons were close to being drawn, and Gandalf was forced to intervene. And that is how Lorielai, Emily Jade Merryweather and River Song found themselves astride Shadowfax, while Aragorn and Gimli rode Arod, and the Doctor, Gandalf and Legolas rode upon Hasufel.

The reason for the extremely slow progress was simple. Despite Gandalf's protests, Aragorn and Legolas insisted on holding hands with Lorielai and Emily Jade Merryweather, respectively. This meant all three horses had to move slowly together in a horizontal line.

Gandalf was grumpy. So grumpy that he was muttering under his breath about he should have spent a bit more time in that amazing Void, leaving Middle Earth to deal with its own issues.

The Doctor tried cheering him up. "So, how's Saruman doing?"

Gandalf's scowl deepened. "He betrayed us and attempted to kill me. He is now preparing a massive army to destroy the world of men."

"Oh. And, erm... do I dare ask about Radagast?"

"He's taken refuge in Rhosgobel, he's doing fine but doesn't venture out unless totally necessary."

"Ah, Radagast. Remember that time he had eaten too many of those mushrooms, and I had to impersonate him at the Maiar council?"

The faintest of smiles began to form on Gandalf's face. "The moment you put on that beard... the resemblance was uncanny. And I never found out, did you use real-"

"No, no, it was just paint."

Reminiscing about the good ol' days let the time fly for the Doctor and Gandalf. The same coulnt be said for River, cramed between Lorielai and Emily Jade Merryweather, whose breatless, dreamy conservations with their beloveds were punctuateded only with barbs directed at River's fashion choices.

The sight of Edoras looming before them couldnt have been more welcoming.

"You could find more cheer in a graveyard." said Gimli as they passed through the silent streets on their way to the Golden Hall.

"Depends on what kind of graveyard you're talking about," replied the Doctor, "For instance, on Belfinuvas 3, funerals take place-" River silenced him with a glare.

They reached the entrance to Meduseld, where a guardsman stopped them.

"I cannot allow you and your companions before the King so armed, Gandalf Grayhame." he told them.

The Doctor was irritated. "What do you mean him and his companions? If anything, he's my companion!"

Gandalf gave a smug smile. "And that, old friend, is one of the disadvantages of having a younger face." He turned back to the guard. "Under whose orders, Hama?

"By order of Grima Wormtongue."

River shuddered. "Just that name is enough to tell you that he's a nasty piece of work."

Hama looked curiously at her. "Grima Wormtongue is the adviser to the King and one of the most important men in the realm." He looked around carefully before continuing. "However, I do not say that you are wrong. Your weapons please."

Gandalf placed Glamdring on the ground. River and the Doctor were allowed through without losing anything, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli had to be persuaded quite a lot before giving up their weapons. Lorielai placed her bow and arrows on the ground, then touched Hama gently on the arm.

"Could I please keep my knife? it was a gift for my motherr and I never go anywhere without it." She looked him in the eyes, and he relented

Emily Jade Merryweather walked up and pulled a black rectagle out of her pocket. "this is a mobile phone!" she said lodly, waving it in Hama's face. "Its from the future and it isnt a weopan!"

"Fine, fine." said Hama. His eyes fell upon Gandalf's staff which still rested in the wizard's hand.

Gandalf's mouth opened. "You would not part an old-"

Hama cut him off. "Forget it. Just go, please."

The Golden Hall was not quite as golden on the inside as one might imagine. It was actually a very plain structure as far as throne rooms went, the docorations were no more than a few sparse tapestries and the throne itself. Upon it sat a wizend old man, his eyes dull and his beard grey and ungroomed. On a smaller chair beside him sat a man with oily skin and black robes, his eyes shining with hidden malice.

"The courtesy of your Hall is somewhat lessened of late, Theoden King!" Gandalf called out as he strode towards him.

"Why... should I... welcome you, Gandalf Stormcrow?" asked the King in a weary voice

"Stormcrow, that's actually rather good," said the Doctor with a grin. "But it doesn't seem like it's coming from you does, it? More like a malevolent entity taking hold of your body, using a mutual associate as an anchor." He reached into his pocket for his sonic screwdriver when Gandalf glared at him.

"Sorry," the Doctor said, abashed. "Your moment, not mine. Force of habit."

"Late is the hour in which this conjurer chooses to appear." Grima said in sneering voice. "Lathspell I name him. And ill news is an ill guest as they say."

"Silence! Keep your forked tongue behind your teeth." snapped Gandalf. He pulled out his staff from under his cloak. "I have not passed through fire and death to bandy crooked words with a witless worm!"

River gave an involuntary cheer. Emily Jade Merryweather nuged Legolas's sholder. "Wat does witless mean"

Grima's eyes widened with fear. "His staff, I told you to take the wizard's staff! Guards!"

A massive brawl was due to break out, when suddenly a voice rang out.

"whats going on in here?" Someone else had entered the room. SHe wore a white gown with a golden girdle and her beatiful golden hair fell down her sholders like a waterfall of melted gold. Her blue eyes widend with joy. "aragorn is that you?!"

Eowyn, daughter of Eomund had entered the fray. And something was very, very wrong.

A/N: Do you hate me? Yes or no, tell me in a review.
Next time, hopefully the finale to this particular story arc, leaving us free to visit other places. Suggestions are very welcome.
TwentyRings