My hands shook as I stood before the entire country. Well maybe not the entire country. Just the Capitol people and my family that were, for once, allowed to come with me. But the cameras that were being forced into my face reminded me that I was being broadcast all over the country. Just that thought made sweat fall down my brow. It was hardly spring. Just enough chill in the air for me to wear my father's hunting jacket all day.
"And now, Katniss Everdeen," Effie announced. I was still sweating, but as she said my name I could feel the goose bumps rise on my arms.
President Snow's death was shocking. The Capitol people had no idea what to do. They had all suspected that Snow would live until his granddaughter, Celestia, was of age to become president.
It wasn't long after Snow's death that the rebels of District Thirteen took over. Plutarch Heavensbee and Alma Coin arrived in the Capitol along with their soldiers. Any Capitol citizen who refused to abide by the new laws would be locked up or, in extreme cases, executed. The only reason for this was that Plutarch and Coin believed that any refusals posed as a threat to the New Panem. President Snow's granddaughter was pardoned, given the excuse that she was only twelve. She was released to relatives.
The laws were simple. The country would return to its old way of life. Everything would be for the people and by the people. The people's thoughts would be put into consideration with any major decision that regards the country. The people were back in control and that was the reason that I was standing on the stage in the middle of the Capitol square. They wanted me to be their president.
"Honestly," I begin. "I do not know why you wish for me to be your president. And I do not want to know why. But I promise you, the life that we have lived since birth will no longer be. You are free. We have taken over. And I think we all know that Snow's death was the best thing that could have ever happened to Panem." The crowd goes nuts. It's several minutes before they are reigned back in so I can continue. "But also, the best thing that could have ever happened to Panem was the destruction of District Thirteen seventy-seven years ago. Because of it, it has been held in secret and their secrecy has saved our lives.
"I do not know what will become of the New Panem, but I do know that it will be better than anything that ever was. Hope it is. And saying that, I am also saying that I would be honored to be your president. I don't know my duties as a president. I don't know what people expect from me. But I'm ready. The New Panem begins today!"
"You did wonderful, Catnip," Gale says to me. We were on the train headed home.
"I agree," said Hazelle informs.
"I just don't understand why they want me to be their president. I wouldn't know what to do."
"And yet you agreed," Rory mutters.
"Rory!" Hazelle warns as Gale's slaps him in the back of the head.
Prim sighs from across the room and stands. Taking Rory's hand she says, "C'mon." He reluctantly stands and they exit the train car together.
Hazelle just smiles and shakes her head. "Those Hawthorne boys," she says. "They just can't seem to shake them Everdeen girls." She then glances over to Gale and I just in time to see the blush stain my cheeks.
Gale just laughs and throws an arm around my shoulders. Pulling my head to his chest he whispers, "No we can't," and places a kiss to the crown of my head.
And suddenly I knew. This was the feeling. The desire for the a man that I thought I would never feel. Not just the feeling of love and want. But the feeling of freedom, also. Knowing that we could do whatever we wanted. Go wherever we wanted to go. This was the feeling.
And that's when I also knew- I needed to talk to Prim.
"This can't be good," Prim says as I lead her to my bedroom.
I smile back at her. "What makes you say that?"
"Well the last time you came up to me and said 'We need to talk about something important' I found out that I was becoming a woman. I'm kind of scared." Then she freezes. "You're not giving me the sex talk, are you?"
I laugh. "No!" Then I pause. "Okay kind of."
"Agh! No please don't!"
I laugh even harder. "Come on!" I say and drag her into my room.
Once we are settled on my bed we turn to each other.
"Look, I'm only doing this because I see the way that you and Rory look at each other. And for another reason but we'll talk about that later. I don't think that Rory is the kind of boy that would pressure into doing anything that you don't want to-"
"Did Gale push you? To you know?" she interrupts.
I shake my head and smile. "No," I reply. "Gale told me to- to make sure that I was ready. To make sure that he was really what I wanted. Of course I already knew that he was the one but he wanted to make sure that I wanted him fully. One hundred percent him. I hated the risks. Knowing that we could possibly accidentally bring a child into the world that we were living in was awful in my mind. I couldn't bear the thought of bringing a child into that screwed up world. Anyway, I kind of got off subject. The point is-"
"You want me and Rory to wait. I get that. I mean we're only fifteen," she says. "I get what you're trying to say, Katniss. But what about your other reason?"
I smile and blush slightly. "I felt the desire."
She stared at me confused for several seconds before I elaborated. "The desire that we talked about when the new law came into effect?" She nods understandingly and smiles. "I felt it. My other point is, I didn't feel the desire after Gale and I made love. Okay, yes, it was the most amazing experience of my life, making love to Gale, but I knew after that it wasn't everything. It was only yesterday that I first felt the desire and knew one hundred percent that Gale was my forever."
"You didn't think he was your forever when you agreed to make love to him?" she asks.
I contemplate on her question for quite a while before answering. "The only two things that matter in that situation knew. My body and my heart. It was my mind that I had a hard time convincing. So that night I followed my heart. My mind was convinced yesterday. When Hazelle said that 'the Hawthorne boys couldn't shake the Everdeen girls.' I just knew. And this rush went through me and-" I pause and then sigh.
"I just knew! That's the only way I can explain it. I just knew."
"I really like Rory. But he doesn't know it."
"What?" I say, shocked. "You should tell him."
"No," she drags out. "I think I'm gonna pull a "Gale Hawthorne" and wait three years before I tell the love of my life that I love them."
"It wasn't three years!" I protest.
"Okay, fine," she sighs. "Four."
I glare at her playfully and we exit my room.
"So guess what," I say to Gale late that night after our love making.
"What?" he sighs in my ear while running his hand up my bare abdomen.
"Prim likes Rory."
"No way!" he exclaims sarcastically. "I had no idea!"
"Oh, shut up!" I reply. "I mean she really, really likes him. But she told me something that kinda threw me off a little bit."
"Oh yeah? And what did she tell you?" His questions are muffled as he runs his lips over my shoulder, nibbling every now and then.
"She said she would be just like you when it came to telling Rory how she feels. She said she was going to wait a few years."
"And why did that throw you off?" he asks. His lips have continued down between my breasts and have stopped just below my belly button to nibble once more.
I bite my lip to keep from moaning out my answer.
"Why-" gasp. "Why did you wait so long-" moan. "To tell me that you loved me?"
His head pops up from below and he edges back up the bed to lay beside me. And the loss of him is excruciating. He caresses my hair as he answers, "Because I knew you didn't love me yet. I was waiting on you. You know, to know that I was the one that you wanted. I wanted you to decide for yourself that you wanted to fall in love. I regret pushing the marriage onto you but I didn't want you to marry a stranger. I knew that I had to pass it off as a convenience marriage or you wouldn't agree."
"You're right. I wouldn't have. And I'm glad you did it the way that you did. That first night was bad for me. But it pushed us both to say things that we had been holding in for a long time. Even me. Even if I didn't know that I loved you yet. That first night, when you had to leave this bed, was the worst sleep I have ever had in my life. Because you were not sleeping next to me. Those hours that we just laid there before you left made me realize how much I needed you to hold me during the nightmares. I love you, Gale. And honestly I wish I would have realized it a whole lot sooner than I did."
"Well, guess what," he says. "We have forever. Which brings me to the next two topics that I want to talk to you about. The second one's worse than the first."
I eye him suspiciously. "What?"
"I think you should be president," he stumbles out.
"I already agreed to be president. What more do they want?"
"You agreed to be president because you thought that they wouldn't actually vote for you. But I promise you that you are going to be president."
"I don't want to be president, Gale. I just said that to make the people happy. I wouldn't know what to do as president."
"That's the beauty of it, Katniss," he exclaims. "You can do whatever you want with this country. You will be the very first leader of the New Panem. You can change this country. They believe in you. I believe in you."
"Just drop it, please," I sigh. "God, if this is the first topic, I don't want to know the other one."
He's oddly quiet, which bothers me.
"We live in a different world now, Katniss," he whispers. "Before it wouldn't have even gone through my mind. I wouldn't risk it. It just wasn't an option. But now," he pauses for several minutes. He stares at the comforter. I try to meet his eyes but he won't look at me.
"Gale, what is it?" I ask.
"We can do whatever we want in this new country. You believe that, right?" he asks.
"Of course. Anything," I reply.
"Like have children?"
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