Sasuke-time, as alee guessed.

Metamorphosis

Chapter III

Shadow

"There are dark shadows on the earth, but its lights are stronger in the contrast." - Charles Dickens.

Sasuke Uchiha despised being himself.

It was a self-hatred that was hard to describe. It wasn't like... He hated who he really was, but what he represented. It wasn't even what he represented, but it was just like... He felt like he didn't exist. Feeling as if you didn't exist is something that can be considered strange and absurd, and to an extent, even mental. But it was an accurate way to explain who he was.

Sasuke Uchiha was a shadow. He was a shadow, and he knew it.

But who was he a shadow to? Only his ever-so-great brother, the wonderful Itachi Uchiha. A genius, handsome, athletic - better than Sasuke in every way possible. It was so blatantly obvious that it sometimes made Sasuke's chest feel tight. Because he was someone lower, someone who would always stay in the shadows - his shadow.

When they were younger, he could remember being jealous. Vengeful. Angry. That anger had been directed mostly at his brother, but at everyone else, too - didn't they see that he was someone different? That he wasn't only 'Itachi Uchiha's little brother'? That he was his own person, Sasuke Uchiha? But they evidently didn't because once he stood next to his brother, all eyes travelled to him unconsciously - and sometimes, it felt like he was the only one that noticed that. Even his own parents - especially his father - had disregarded himself in favour of praising his brother. And then there he was, the forgotten accident that was discarded at the side.

But that was before. Before, when he could blame and when he let emotion cloud his heart. Now? He just felt empty. Like it was an accepted fact - because it was. His heart felt hollow, and every action made felt mechanical. He existed; but he didn't. He was there; but he wasn't. He was an empty vessel. Lifeless.

Maybe he could have saved himself of this greyness, of this blackness, if he could have hated Itachi. But the thing was, he never could - as much as Itachi had been his subject of envy and anger, he had also been his idol. Someone that Sasuke always strived to be - a role model. Itachi had been the perfect brother, his only brother, and that was why he could never hate him no matter how much he wanted to. And because Itachi was Itachi, he loved him too - no matter how big of a failure he was.

Sometimes he wondered if he had low self-esteem. Maybe it was influenced by Itachi? But he was an Uchiha. And Uchiha were confident and proud, never once thinking themselves to be failures or anything along those lines. Because Uchiha mercilessly killed anyone in their way, and knew that it was worth it, because in that way, they were making the family richer or more powerful.

He knew that his family was in the mafia for as long as he could remember. But he never thought that it was 'bad' or that it was 'wrong' - it was just the way it was. It was the Family. And the Family was the most important thing in his life - it was supposed to be what all Uchiha men protected with their lives, their pride, their honour - more than anyone or anything else. It was the way he was taught since he was young, and it was what was to be expected.

Seeing people die had never affected him like the thought it would. Maybe it was because he was already empty, already a shadow of a person - but was that what it really was? Or was he simply that cold-hearted? If Itachi knew, he'd surely be disappointed; because even though it was rarely shown, Sasuke knew that his elder brother was a pacifist. A revelation that would probably surprise even his father: as Itachi very very scarcely showed his true face to anyone. Even to him.

"Hey, asshole! What's got your knickers in a twist?" The loud voice of Naruto startled him out of his own thoughts. Turning his head sharply, he came face to face with his rival. Sasuke's eyebrow twitched. Like always, Naruto's vividly happy blue eyes annoyed him endlessly. Was it because he can easily show such expressions and emotions without holding back? Or was it that he seemed so happy that the happiness became enviable? Either way, no doubt lay in Sasuke's mind that Naruto was one of the very few people who could irritate him out of his skin.

No, wait... That wasn't true. there were quite a few people that were able to annoy him, but not to such a severe extent.

"I feel sorry for you... Were you born retarded?" Came Sasuke's sarcastic tone. If Naruto was born with mental deficiencies, he wouldn't be surprised. No, not at all. Curse his physical abilities that allowed him to get into such a rich private school.

"You assfuck! If I'm born retarded, then you... You... You live retarded!" Naruto thereby grinned, praising himself for his 'brilliant' complicated. Wondering whether to feel sad for Naruto or amused at his idiocy, Sasuke rolled his eyes. Naruto was a rarity; that was the only thing that Sasuke would ever admit. So he chose to keep silent, leaning back on the chair he was sitting on. Class was yet to start - five minutes to go.

"Too stunned by awesomeness to make a comeback, bastard! Well in your face, ya hear me? In your-bastard-face!" Gleefully, Naruto made his way to his own seat, which was further back from his. Sasuke could only be thankful that the seats weren't dependent on the first letter of their last name - or else he'd be cursed with the luck to sit next to the 'genius', Naruto Uzumaki.

But now, with Naruto gone, there was nothing and no one to distract him from the darkness of his own thoughts. He was number one in his year - but when Itachi was his age, he had already skipped two grades ahead. Sasuke had learned a language, and at his age, Itachi had learned two. Everything that Sasuke had achieved - and it wasn't little - Itachi had already done twice at his age.

If he died would anyone miss him? He doubted that anyone but Itachi would - and Itachi would, because he'd notice a part of himself was dead, wouldn't he?

Er. Dark thoughts? Reviews, please.

Aurora.