#note: This is a small extra, based on events in the series episode "Identity", original air date 3/13/12. Spoiler alert if you haven't seen that one. That being said, the sub-plot involving Lacey was an excruciatingly dull way to treat the subject of her illness. What, are these guys deliberately trying to tank the Nielsens? It had all the excitement of having Ben Stein read a Diabetes Association brochure. Here is an example of how they might have made the message interesting enough to keep the audience awake long enough to hear it.

Scene: Lacey's hospital room. Megan is there. Barry enters with a "bouquet".

Barry: "Hi, Lacey. I heard you were laid up, so I brought flowers."

(He holds out his hand.)

Megan: "Seriously? You brought a bouquet of dandelions? Are you four years old?"

Barry: "Hey, when Lacey was four, I bet she brought you something like this all the time, and you told her it was wonderful."

Megan: "Yeah. Because she was four. Cheapskate. Couldn't come up with ten bucks for actual flowers?"

Barry: "I thought I'd just go in the rest of the gang and get something more impressive for the funeral. Why spend the money twice? I'll just need to buy another bouquet in, what? A month?"

Lacey (sounding scared): "Mom!"

Megan (furious): "You jerk! How dare you come in here and scare her like that! What is the matter with you? This is not 1875, diabetes is a very manageable illness, not a death sentence. Google it and learn something."

Barry: "Manageable? Is that what you've been telling her?"

Megan: "Of course it is."

Barry: "Lacey, I'm going to level with you. This is a really big deal. The dream is dead. Your hopes of an NFL career are just about gone."

Lacey: "Uh, Barry? I'll be lucky to make it to 5'2", and I'm a girl. Who doesn't play football. I think not making it to the NFL won't be too bad."

Barry: "Well, there have been a few players with diabetes, but it makes it much more difficult, especially for a short girl. And not just the NFL. Combat duty, test pilot and astronaut are pretty much out the window, too."

Lacey: "A lot of people live happy lives right here on the ground, not getting shot at. I was hoping more for a career in art."

Barry: "Lots of people want careers in art, Lace. It's tough to find a paying job. I myself was interested in the highly competitive field of artistic floral arrangement, but had to settle for computer work."

Megan: "To the relief of florists everywhere."

Lacey: "But what does that have to do with diabetes?"

Barry: "Well, nothing, really. I think a diabetic could be an artist. All you need is talent and wealthy suckers, er, patrons, to buy your stuff. Come to think of it, the talent isn't even all that necessary if you can find the patrons."

Megan: "Any other misinformation you care to disseminate, there, sunshine? Any more things to tell her she can't do?"

Barry: "That's about all I've got. If she's going to set her sights that low, I guess she'll have a fairly normal life, as long as she is conscientious about it. With a type A mother like you around, she could live for weeks. Months, even."

Megan (angrily): "Get out of this hospital, you moron. You are forbidden to have any contact with my daughter again. I don't want you scaring her like that."

Lacey: "Uh, Mom?"

Megan: "Yes, dear?"

Lacey: "It's OK."

Megan: "What do you mean?"

Lacey: "All the doctors, and you, and Grandma, were all so serious and worried-sounding. It's scary. He's the first one to come in and tease me. Somehow, when he jokes about it, it's the first time it really feels like something I can actually live with."

(Barry lets a hint of a supercilious smile come to him.)

Megan: "Well, honey, your life isn't over, but this is serious. You will have to be careful."

Barry: "And I'll be around to give your mother a reminder once in a while that you are a person, not a disease. And before she kicks me out..."

(He reaches into a shopping bag he was carrying.)

Barry: "I picked up a drawing pad at the art supply store. I figured artists are always short on supplies, and you'd rather have that than flowers. The dandelions are starting to get pretty wilted, anyway. This will give something to occupy yourself while you are recuperating."

Lacey: "Cool!"

Barry: "Well, I'll be getting along. I don't want to stay too long. I might catch diabetes or something."

Megan (annoyed): "You can't catch diabetes like that, you idiot."

(Lacey laughs. Barry smiles.)

Megan (backing down): "Which, of course, you knew. Look, Lacey, this is going to be something of an adjustment for me, too."

Barry: "See you around, Lacey. Let me know if you need any help managing your mother's care. I'm there for you 3 and 3/7ths."

Lacey: "I will. Thanks for the art tablet."

Megan: "What does 3 and 3/7ths mean?"

Barry: "I prefer mixed numbers to improper fractions. I wouldn't want to say anything improper in front of a young and impressionable girl."

Megan: "Improper? What are you...? You goofball. 24/7 is not a fraction, it's just an expression. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. And of all the things you have said to women that might be considered improper, fractions are where you suddenly start being modest?"

Barry: "Gotta start somewhere. Ta ta. Wait, can I say ta-ta, or is that bad, too?"

Megan: "OUT!"

(end scene)