Scene: Kate's office. Barry and Megan are present.

Kate: "Barry, since you have apparently had some federal weapons training, and obvious expertise, the department is willing to waive forcing you to attend an actual training course, provided you can pass the exam at the end. It would save me the expense of a certification course, and we can get you licensed to carry a firearm within a week or two. With Peter gone, it might be helpful to have an escort available from time to time."

Barry: "OK. I would be most pleased to provide an escort service."

Kate: "That's what I was hoping you would say."

Megan: "You were hoping he'd have something boorish to say?"

Kate: "I was hoping for that exact offer."

Megan: "Why?"

Kate: "Because there is going to be a dinner which will feature you. For your outstanding work in this office, and because you have now achieved some local fame when we rescued Lacey. I'm invited as well, but I'm scheduled to be in Harrisburg for some committee hearings, and can't guarantee I'll be back here in time to ensure your attendance."

Megan: "I don't want to go. And what does Barry have to do with it?"

Kate: "Since you have previously embarrassed the department by skipping out on an honors dinner, I thought I would provide you with a date who would be willing to cover for me."

Megan: "A date who... Barry? Have you lost your mind?"

Kate: "It's why I want him weapons-certified. In case you need the proper encouragement."

Megan: "Why does it have to be Barry? I could take Curtis, or Ethan..."

Kate: "They'd probably pee themselves. Barry stands up to you. And if necessary, he's a good shot."

Barry: "Do I get a say in this?"

Kate: "No. I already have your statement that you would be a willing escort. Gotcha."

Barry: "I was hoping for something other than a date with the Angel of Death."

Megan: "Angel of Death?"

Barry: "Don't look at me, I didn't give you that nickname."

Megan: "My nickname is the Angel of Death?"

Barry: "Well, you know, you're a more attractive ME than Jack Klugman in 'Quincy', which I guess is the 'angel' part; you perform autopsies, and you have a certain 'take no prisoners' reputation."

Megan: "But 'Angel of Death'?"

Barry: "Don't worry, I'm pretty sure Dr. Mengele is done with the nickname. He won't mind you using it."

Kate: "I think we can dispense with that nickname, Barry. Or I'll come up with one for you. How about 'Former Co-worker'?"

Barry: "I'll see if I can come up with something better. How do you feel about 'Mama Grizzly'?"

Megan: "No!"

Barry: "How about 'The Highly Competent, Professional Career Woman and Wise But Firm Parent Who Still Manages to be Sexy Without Being Slutty'?"

Megan: "There you go."

Barry: "You'll need a bigger car."

Megan: "Why?"

Barry: "That's going to be about a 12-foot bumper sticker. It's not very catchy."

Kate: "Enough with the nicknames. You will respectfully refer to her as "Dr. Hunt" in public and see to it that she is safely transported to and from the event. The entire event. Got it?"

Barry: "OK. Am I on the clock for this?"

Megan: "You have to be paid to go to dinner with me?"

Barry: "Not necessarily. Just trying to determine my exact status. Since Kate is pimping out her boyfriend, I just wanted to know, slut or whore. For when, after plying me with alcohol, the evening reaches its inevitable conclusion."

Kate: "You are off the clock for this one, Barry."

Barry: "Slut it is."

Kate: "You get free food and my gratitude. But no conclusion to the evening is going to be inevitable."

Megan: "Oh, there will be an inevitable conclusion all right. Try anything and you will inevitably be concluded. Finished. Done for."

Barry: "I can't work like this. She's threatening me."

Kate: "You're the only guy in the office who can hold his own against Megan, and I'm getting your weapons certification fast-tracked. You're twice her size, she'll be wearing heels and unable to outrun you, and you'll carry a gun if you want it. That's as fair a fight as I can make it."

Megan: "I wonder what the Vegas odds will be?"

(end scene)

Scene: Megan, Barry and Kate have attended the awards dinner. Kate has stayed behind to stand in the spotlight and talk up her department. This is an evening stroll on the way back to the car for Barry and Megan.

Megan: "So what gives, Barry? Are you coming down with something?"

Barry: "Why do you ask?"

Megan: "You've acted like a normal human being the whole night. A perfect gentleman of a date. I'm starting to think alien abduction or government mind control experiment. Where is the real Barry? What have you done to him?"

Barry: "I am a master of disguise. It is possible for me to pretend to be a normal, sane person, though of course it takes considerable effort. On the other hand, I might point out that you were a warm and charming version of Dr. Hunt compared to what I usually see."

Megan: "You're a bad influence. I couldn't stand to let you outdo me in graciousness."

Barry: "Ah. The competitive fire is still there, just hidden."

Megan: "There is something else..."

Barry: "Uh-oh."

Megan: "No. I want full credit for the good work we've been doing in the ME's office. But a fair amount of the attention being focused on me was for the kidnapping incident, and I didn't really deserve it. The one who should have been getting the spotlight was sitting next to me, as quiet as I have ever seen him."

Barry: "Bright lights hurt my eyes."

Megan: "You could have made quite a splash if you had been so inclined. It was your team that actually tracked down the kidnappers, and you were the one who did the most actual rescuing. Kate talked to me before we went on TV about how we were going to spin the narrative. That was a pretty noble sacrifice for your girlfriend, Barry."

Barry: "She's not really my girlfriend. That's just office banter."

Megan: "Seems to me that you're pretty serious about looking out for her interests."

Barry: "I am, which is why I know that we would never make a good power couple. She has further political ambitions, and my background would be a liability. A few casual dates here and there won't hurt, but it will never go anywhere."

Megan: "Too bad. It was a great 'how we got together' story. I was going to take full credit, even for the preceding disasters that made her look so good by comparison. All part of the plan."

Barry: "You needed to think the plan all the way through. While I might amuse her from time to time, she is too careful and calculating for us to work out."

Megan: "Still, she's lucky to have you looking out for her."

Barry: "I'll continue that. If Kate is going to rise politically, Commissioner Travers is going to have to be put in her place. And somewhere in there I'll probably have to find time to look in on other members of the department. As well as their daughters."

Megan: "Good to know. Because Lacey and I certainly were the beneficiaries of your expertise. I was thinking about that tonight. A lot. That I almost certainly would have lost my daughter if it had not been for your intervention."

Barry: "That sounds suspiciously like actual gratitude."

Megan: "Because it is. You won't even take credit. I don't know how I can ever thank you enough."

Barry: "How about this?"

He stops, reaches down and kisses her. She is shocked, then starts to respond, at which point he stops.

Barry: "Debt paid."

Megan (confused): "What was that for?"

Barry: "Don't you ever watch movies? Standard payment for saving the girl is a kiss. Lacey is a little young, so the responsibility falls to you. You were kind of slow in paying up, and I would rather kiss you than send the goons around to break your thumbs."

Megan: "I was thinking more along the lines of inviting you over for dinner."

Barry: "Isn't Lacey vegetarian and diabetic? Probably a dinner consisting of healthy vegetables. No Mountain Dew. No donuts. Doesn't sound like much of a reward. I think I made a much better choice."

Megan: "Really?"

Barry: "Of course. What movie ever ended with the hero getting a thank-you dinner of tofu and kale? That has all the romantic appeal of a love letter addressed to 'Occupant'."

They arrive at the car. He opens her door.

Barry: "Get in the car, Dr. Hot Chick. I need to get you home before my coach turns back into a pumpkin."

Megan: "I think it might be worth more as a pumpkin..."

(end scene)

Scene: At Megan's home. She comes in.

Lacey: "How was the dinner?"

Megan: "Pretty boring. Including the food."

Lacey: "How about your date with Barry?"

Megan: "It wasn't that kind of date. This was primarily a business affair. He was kind enough to agree to escort me to the dinner. After some arm-twisting by Kate."

Lacey: "Yeah, I noticed he didn't kiss you at the door or anything."

Megan: "Spying on me?"

Lacey: "Uh..."

Megan moves out toward her bedroom, removing earrings, shoes, etc.

Megan: "Sorry to disappoint you, honey. Barry was actually on his best behavior. He was a perfect gentleman almost the entire night."

Lacey: "Barry? A perfect gentleman? It really must have been a boring time."

Megan (to herself, smiling a little): "I did say 'almost'."

(end scene)