Scene: Barry's work area.

Megan: "Morning, Barry."

Barry: "Hi, Megan. Hey, how come you don't call me New Guy any more? Are you actually starting to like me?"

Megan: "I called some pharmaceutical reps I used to know, back in the day. A lengthy search proved fruitless. Nobody has an anti-Barry agent. We're stuck with you."

Barry: "You asked the wrong people. Don't you have any Clairol at home?"

Megan: "I'm not going to answer that. What does it have to do with you?"

Barry: "They advertise that they can get rid of the Gray..."

Megan: "That is the dumbest joke ever."

Barry: "Oh, come on, it's not even the dumbest beauty products joke. That goes to a buddy of mine whose ancestors came from Krakow."

Megan: "OK, you've got me started, I have to hear this one..."

Barry: "He came to me one day very upset. He thought his wife was trying to get rid of him."

Megan: "Because...?"

Barry: "Because she came home from the drugstore with a bag full of make up and stuff. The bottle that caught his attention was labeled 'Polish Remover'."

Megan: "What? That's 'polish' remover, not 'Polish' remover. Idiot."

Barry: "Yeah, he felt a lot better after I explained that to him."

Megan: "Enough. I admit defeat. You have dumber jokes than I thought you did."

Barry: "A rare victory over the mighty Dr. Hunt. And all it took was a bottle of 'Polish' remover..."

Megan: "I conceded already. Shut up."

Barry: "But I haven't even had a chance to ask you if you were busy this week-end."

Megan: "Keep up the lame attempts at humor and you never will."

Barry: "All right. In all seriousness, or at least all that I have available, would it be convenient for us to get together some time? Since I had promised you dinner."

Megan: "Saturday would work. Lacey will be visiting her grandmother on her birthday."

Barry: "I didn't know it was Joan's birthday. I'll have to drop a card in the mail. Your present is to allow them time together without your scowling demeanor to dampen the festivities?"

Megan: "It's her other grandmother, you jerk. And I don't have a scowling demeanor all the time."

Barry: "Pretty sure you do. I checked the security cams. It's why I think you need to spend a pleasant and low-stress afternoon with a debonair gentleman."

Megan: "Maybe if the debonair gentleman did more to relieve my stress than induce it I might have a better appearance."

Barry: "Do you want to hear my idea for a date, or would you rather dictate the circumstances? Bearing in mind that your track record isn't all that great."

Megan: "OK, smart guy, show me your stuff. You decide."

Barry: "OK. I'll pick you up in the early afternoon. Outdoor venue, so somewhat casual, but choice of skirt or slacks is up to you. I'd advise you not to wear your best shoes."

Megan: "I'm not going to a Little League game."

Barry: "Good, because neither am I."

Megan: "Are you going to tell me where you will take me?"

Barry: "I'd rather let it be a surprise."

Megan: "Have it your way. See you Saturday."

(end scene)

Scene: Philadelphia Zoo, Saturday afternoon. Barry and Megan are in a swan boat on a pond.

Megan: "All right, I have to admit it. This isn't a bad afternoon. Rowing me around a pond in a swan boat is more romantic than I gave you credit for."

Barry: "See, you have a lovely smile. You should take it out of the box more often."

Megan: "Life just gets so complicated, and everything piles up, and being a single parent of a teenager is a handful..."

Barry: "You need to learn to settle for an 'A' once in a while. You don't have to have a perfect score on every test."

Megan: "What do you mean?"

Barry: "Surgeons can't afford to make many mistakes, and medical examiners don't get many, either. Every part of your life doesn't have to be that perfect. Let the dishes pile up in the sink every once in a while, and spend time with Lacey. She'll be out of the house before you know it."

Megan: "That scares me. I'm not ready for her to be out on her own."

Barry: "She's not ready, either. Now is the time for you to help her get ready for what's coming."

Megan: "It was easier when I all I had to worry about was running with scissors. It's a scary world out there."

Barry: "Less scary when she knows you have her back."

Megan: "I'm the one who is scared. Though it's a little less scary because you have my back. And Lacey's."

Barry: "I can put together a pretty formidable team behind me, too."

Megan: "Allowing me to just relax and enjoy the afternoon. Participating in one of my favorite activities: ordering you around. Take me over that way, mate."

Barry: "I'm glad I only paid for an hour."

Megan: "After which we can stroll around the rest of the zoo."

Barry: "All part of my devious plan."

Megan: "Devious plan?"

Barry: "Hang around the zoo long enough, you're bound to see some animals engaging in, shall we say, amorous activities. Makes my date less squeamish later."

Megan: "Forget it, buster. You are such a pig. If you hadn't ruined the mood like that, maybe you would have enjoyed some amorous activities of your own later."

Barry: "Amorous activities of my own is what I was looking to avoid. I was hoping for something more along the lines of 'activities with a beautiful woman.'"

Megan: "Flatterer. Well, if you can put a lid on the rude comments, and the dinner goes well, the beautiful woman might indulge you slightly."

Barry: "I can hardly wait!"

Megan: "I said slightly. It's only our first date. I have to be wooed."

Barry: "I thought that's what the rowing was about."

Megan: "No, that's just to get you too tired out to try anything tonight."

Barry: "Great."

Megan: "Row faster. I might want to go water-skiing."

Barry: "Water-skiing?"

Megan: "Yes. So quit dilly-dallying."

Barry: "I should have gotten a pond with a hill..."

Megan: "Move it, maggot. I want to feel the breeze in my hair."

Barry: "Oh, brother."

Megan: "I wonder if there's a phone app for rowing tempo?"

Barry: "If there is, I know a phone I have to hack."

(end scene.)

Scene: a barbecue and steak joint. Not much in ambiance, but a good local restaurant.

Megan: "I didn't think much of your choice of dining establishments when we walked in. The decor looks like it was stolen from demolished truck stops."

Barry: "Yeah, I know one or two places with better barbecue, but you probably wouldn't let me take you there after dark. The best food at places like this is usually at a converted gas station. This is not quite as good, but it's close. How is your food?"

Megan: "This is the best steak I've had in years. My fries and biscuits are really good, too."

Barry: "Don't get too attached. They fry in lard, and use it in the biscuits as well. Eat this every day and it won't be any mystery for the office to figure out what killed you."

Megan: "Trying to do me in?"

Barry: "Probably wouldn't work. The healthy stuff you and Lacey eat most of the time would foil my evil intentions."

Megan: "I win again."

Barry: "Don't worry, I have plenty of other evil intentions. You'll never foil them all."

Megan (coyly): "Maybe there might be some I don't want to foil..."

Barry: "This begins to sound interesting. "

Megan: "Actually, when you can refrain from your usual obnoxious patter, you are kind of interesting, Barry. Your choice of date venues with both Kate and myself was unconventional, but shrewd."

Barry: "In both cases, I was trying to avoid the splashy, expensive big event and go for something to allow my dates to unwind from the pressures of the office a little. Here you won't spend the entire evening worrying about whether every last piece of attire is straight, or whether the wine you ordered was too expensive or didn't go with the entree."

Megan: "I'm sorry I inflicted those earlier set-ups on you, Barry. You can manage a first date just fine."

Barry: "Most people make the mistake of trying too hard to impress. I prefer something that doesn't magnify every little slip-up into a major disaster."

Megan: "Smart. I might even be warming up to you just a little, Barry."

Barry: "Good. Though you might want to wipe the ketchup off your mouth before I kiss you."

Megan (wiping): "What? Where? Why didn't you tell me?"

Barry: "You got it. I did tell you, and don't worry, no one else has seen the flawless Dr. Hunt looking a little flawed. Pity, though. I could have gotten a lot of money from Curtis and Ethan for a picture of that."

Megan: "Pig. Why do you have to ruin everything?"

Barry: "I don't think the evening is ruined. I found it endearing, which is why I wasn't quicker to tell you. Like the clumsy hot girl in the movies. A flaw like "genocidal megalomania" or "enjoys crushing kittens" is hard to overlook. A cute quirk just makes us like her more."

Megan: "Are you saying you like me?"

Barry: "Well, you cleaned your face up, so we might have missed the moment."

Megan: "Too bad."

She then puts a drop of ketchup on her finger, which she slowly and suggestively licks off.

Barry: "Where did the waiter go? Check please?"

(end scene)