Technical Difficulties 5

Of Annoyance and Angst

((()))

Bee-beep.

"Mmmg." He stirred.

Bee-beep.

"Hmmm?" He rolled over.

Bee-beep.

"…Goddammit." Bones smashed the alarm clock off with a vengeance. He had forgotten to turn the damn thing off last night. Well, he had been kind of inebriated. On a side note, he needed to change the 'bee-beep' sound. It sounded too much like that goddamn communicator noise. Goddamn annoying, that's what.

There was no way he was getting back to sleep after that god-awful noise, so Bones rolled reluctantly out of bed. Swaying back and forth uncontrollably, Bones made it to the bathroom and turned on the light.

That wasn't the best idea.

But Bones went through with it anyway, pushing past the pain of the hangover to take care of himself. He kept telling himself that he would feel much better afterwards, even though he didn't really believe that.

After he was done, Bones pulled on his crinkled uniform and set off to his office after making a cup of coffee. When he first sipped it, he singed his lips, so the entire workforce in his hall got to listen to his colorful and imaginative expletives as he stumbled grudgingly to Sickbay.

He actually didn't give a damn.

A prissy little repair lieutenant decided to get in his way, and she was damn persistent. She stopped right in front of him, and refused to let him pass. She was adamant that he listen to everything that she needed him to hear, something about the repairs. It's not like Bones would have just pushed past; after all, she was a lady, and he was a gentleman.

"Look, ma'am, I ain't the right commandin' officer for you t' talk to." He sipped his coffee, trying to distract himself. "Find Lieutenant Commander Scott, ma'am, he's the Chief Engineer."

"Sir, with all due respect – "

He turned slightly away from her angrily, muttering under his breath and massaging his temple. "Goddammit, I'm a doctor, not a goddamn secretary."

Giving himself a second to calm down, Bones sighed.

She was still yammering on, babbling about some goddamn pipe that Bones didn't give a shit about.

She wouldn't fucking stop. The headache Bones had wasn't either, and it was really pissing him off. The reserve patience Bones stored was running out.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Bones turned around with an angry glint in his eye, looking down on this goddamn lieutenant in all seriousness. The steam from his coffee swirled around his head, making him look all the more menacing.

"Lieutenant, this is an order – "

"Ah see ye've fixed up jus' fahyne, Doctor!"

Bones snapped out of his killing intent immediately. "Scotty!"

"Aye, Doctor, tha's me."

"You've been feelin' alright?"

"Aye, Doctor. Ah'm as fit as a bloomin' flow'r, Ah am."

Bones grinned. "I see. Working again?"

"You betcher ass, Doctor!"

It seemed like the lieutenant had realized her mistake, because she was silent as hell. The relief from pain alerted Bones to this realization, as well as the remembrance of her presence.

"Well, it seems that this lady needs your assistance, Scotty. Something about the repairs...?" Bones vaguely gestured towards the lieutenant behind him. "I've gotta be in Sickbay, so I gotta run."

"Aright, Doctor, we'll have tha' drink soon, then?"

"Sure, Scotty. Whenever." Bones clapped Scotty on the shoulder as he passed.

The headache wasn't gone, but the annoying lieutenant sure was. He would have to thank Scotty somehow. Even though he had been severely detained by that goddamn lieutenant, he didn't dash through the halls, he leisurely strolled in the direction of Sickbay. Bones never ran anywhere unless it was an emergency. Even though he really needed to get to Sickbay for that hangover hypo.

But it was not to be. Just as he rounded the corner to the turbolift, Spock appeared. Trying to scurry by, Bones ducked his head and turned to the side, bringing his cup to his lips and looking off into the distance.

It didn't work.

"Doctor McCoy. I was presently engaged in the task of determining your whereabouts."

"Dammit, Spock, could this wait, say, ten minutes?"

"Doctor, this is of supreme importance."

He glanced around, his Vulcan eyes flickering for a moment. Bones almost missed it.

Bones sighed. "Well, fine, but don't expect me to get all excited over it. Not in the right mood, if you know what I mean." He considered his audience. "Not that you would."

"All jokes aside, Doctor, we must discuss this in private."

Bones waved his hand apathetically. "Lead the way, Spock."

And so Bones followed Spock through the halls. He was amazed that he had made it this far with such a terrible hangover. In fact, it was amazing that he could still walk.

They reached Spock's quarters. Here, Bones paused, unsure. He had never been inside Spock's quarters before, and it seemed just a little too intimate. If someone saw him going in, they might even think they were friends or something.

"Doctor. Come in."

It was not a question nor a request; it was more like a command. Not up to dealing with Spock's bullshitty social skills, Bones stalked on in, not even glancing around. He saw a chair, he beelined towards the chair, and sat in the chair. Bones didn't mess around when it came to this shit.

"Okay, Spock." Bones settled in and allowed himself to see the room's decorations. There weren't many, but the few that ordained the walls were complicated, intricate, and ornate. "What do you need a little old country doctor for?"

"Doctor... I seem to be having..." Spock's head dipped slightly.

"Trouble enunciating properly? That will come with severe repression." The joke that came out of Bones' mouth was detached; Bones was worried. He knew trouble when he saw it, and the look on Spock's face, while regular on a human, was absolutely contorted in pain for a Vulcan.

"I am... unaware of the cause, but I do have a theory." Spock straightened again, the cool composure drawing over his face like a sheet.

"What is it, Spock?"

"I seem to be experiencing someone else's emotions, Doctor."

"...How long has this been happening?"

"For approximately half a year, Doctor."

"My god, man! And you haven't informed anyone?"

"They.. have never been so... painful before, so wholly unconnected to myself. I had not realized that they were not my own. I was simply repressing them as I do all of my emotions. Now, they become too strong, in unpredictable phases so that I am unable to work efficiently when they strike during my work hours."

Bones decided that it was too early in the morning for this psychic shit. Then he snapped back up again, with a PADD in his hand to take notes.

"Give me an account of exactly what these episodes are like."

((()))

When Bones scrolled back through Spock's account later, when he had left and was walking down the hallway again, he realized something. The emotions that Spock felt from the feelings that weren't his, the stronger ones, dealt mostly in pain, grief, anger, and overwhelming sadness. There were apparently softer feelings like desire and happiness that were strong, but Spock didn't seem to mind those as much; they didn't actually harm him. Bones had asked when he had felt these foreign feelings and had made a scheduled timetable, so when his realization hit him, he had somewhere to check his theory.

He was right.

He figured he would keep it to himself for now, though it would have to come out eventually. He grinned before strutting into the turbolift at last. There were a couple of people already on it, but they were going to the same floor, so Bones didn't have to worry about the goddamn turbolift stalling and shutting him in; one of the men was a lieutenant for Engineering.

Just as the doors were starting to close, just as he was finally going to reach his Sickbay haven, Bones heard a voice calling for the turbolift to stop. It was slightly desperate and ridiculously dramatic, so Bones slammed the button and the turbolift opened the doors once again. Bones was polite if anything, and this was just a small little favor. He could put off Sickbay for a few more seconds, couldn't he? He knew he couldn't deserve to be selfish, especially with the luck he had.

The young man who had cried out rushed into the turbolift, framing the door with his thin, lean physique. His face was plain but alighted with passion. His focus was completely zoned in on something behind Bones' shoulder. He turned to see a young lady wearing blues, with blond hair, flushed cheeks, and a look of shock on her face.

"Gregory...!" She stammered. Greg shouldered his way through the crowd of about five people to her, slamming the stop button of the turbolift on his way.

"Maureen..." He grasped her hands, holding them up to his chest. "I've finally caught up to you."

Bones facepalmed. Oh, shit. Why did he get caught up in this kind of hell?

"But, Gregory..." Maureen didn't seem very bright for a Science officer; her response was a bit too delayed. "You didn't have to chase me."

Bones was considering banging his head against the wall. With his hangover, he decided against it.

"Maureen..."

"Gregory...?"

"Maureen..."

"Gregory..."

All this repetition had Bones thinking he was developing a tick.

"...Of course I had to, you silly goose, I'd follow you anywhere."

"Oh, Gregory...!"

"Oh, Maureen...!"

"Oh, Gregory!"

"Oh, Maureen!"

Oh, goddamn motherfucking Christ. Bones massaged his temple.

Gregory gallantly knelt before her, still holding her hands close to his heart.

Bones swayed a bit, and felt like vomiting. But that would be rude; Bones would make it through. He would get to Sickbay whether Fate wanted him to or not, dammit.

"Oh, Maureen, bright unknown anomaly of my viewscreen, would you take my hand in marriage?" His voice was low and smooth, but Bones looked at him in disgust. What the hell did he just say? Unknown anomaly of my viewscreen? What kind of bullshit were kids coming up with these days?

Maureen blushed and did the whole 'embarrassed woman' act. Bones had seen that calculating move before. Not that he hadn't been annoyed by this pair before, but this really took the cake. She's acting exactly like my ex-wife did. Bones hoped his rampant disgust for the entirety of the situation wasn't too noticeable. He massaged his temple again. It seemed to help.

"Oh, Gregory!"

"Oh Maureen!"

"Oh, Gregory!"

Oh, Maureen!"

Oh, goddammit.

This was going to last forever if someone didn't intervene. Bones could go for a shipwide Red Alert right now. They always seemed to cut in on these types of scenes, so why not when Bones needed it most?

But it didn't start. So Bones just rolled his eyes and tried to gather his patience together for one last goddamn ride.

But then the kids started getting a bit too enthusiastic right there on the turbolift, wolfwhistles and cat calls and all, and Bones decided it was time to stop these shenanigans.

He coughed into his fist, trying to get their attention, but they were a bit involved. So he sighed internally and bit the goddamn bullet. He was going to look like the bad guy again, which he didn't actually mind. It was for a good cause, goddammit. Relieving a man of his pain.

"Lieutenant, Ensign." It was like they had been accidentally tossed into a cement pool, they were moving so slow. They didn't even seem to hear him, and were basically like statues except for their tongues.

So Bones stepped up to the challenge. He stalked over to the couple, right in front of them, with his hands tightly holding each other behind his back, in the standard Starfleet ease.

It was sort of awkward for the lovers, no lie. But Bones didn't give a damn.

"Lieutenant, Ensign, please refrain to professional behavior." He raised an eyebrow. "Or, in your case, just get a room."

It looked like the two of them were happy enough to brush it off, and so they skipped out of the turbolift and down the hall. Bones ruthlessly and violently hit the turbolift button again after the others had filed out, not seeming to want to board with such a hostile lieutenant commander.

That was absolutely fine with Doctor McCoy.

The doors closed, and he felt the whoosh in his stomach when he was traveling 70 km/s in a vertical direction. He shut his eyes and grit his teeth. Goddammit, he really hated being completely dependent on these goddamn machines, but Bones supposed he had to suck it up since he signed on for this type of shit. It wasn't that bad being on the turbolift; what he really had problems with was that goddamn transporter machine. Fucking insane, to break yourself up into tiny molecules and throw them around. Some of his less fortunate patients had said that they liked the feeling of it; Bones had made sure to get them fully tested for psychosis. These damn things were so unsafe, and got stuck all the damn time.

Speaking of which, the turbolift came to a stuttering halt. Bones almost fell over, but he caught himself on the wall before he could go down.

The lights blinked uncertainly, as if they wanted to go out but weren't sure they could handle Bones' wrath if they did. So they stayed on after a few seconds of indecision.

Bones righted himself fully, holding his arm, checking for a bruise. There was one blooming there already. He cursed under his breath.

He decided he had bigger problems than a bruised surgeon arm; Bones was fucking stuck in a turbolift, a small enclosed space that was an unreliable machine. He had no communicator and was worth shit at fixing machines. He also had a debilitating hangover.

Bones slumped to the ground. It was just too much, dammit. He was a doctor, not a goddamn masochist.

Bones passed out.

((()))

Jim pressed a button.

"Nurse, where is Doctor McCoy?"

"He has not arrived yet, Captain."

"Thank you, Nurse. As you were."

Jim tapped his pad controls again.

"Computer, where is Chief Medical Officer Leonard McCoy?"

"Turbolift B."

For a second, Jim was puzzled. Hadn't he just been talking to Nurse Chapel? The computer voice sounded a lot like her, now that the two voices were juxtaposed. But he had more important things to worry about. He checked the systems and saw that the turbolift had froze.

"Dammit..." he muttered under his breath.

Once more, Kirk hit his control pad with vigor.

"Security, assemble a team of capable engineers. Send them to Turbolift B. Recover Chief Medical Officer McCoy."

((()))

Scotty had been working on his new baby of a project when he got called on by Giotto. It was a beautiful little contraption, if he did say so himself. A bunch of little intersecting bands of metal wires. He'd gotten the idea from looking at that alien in surgery just the other day. It was extremely energy efficient, and resembled the heart he'd spied in the center of that whole mess. It would probably be enough to power an entire starship if he got it right and if it was big enough.

"Chief Engineer Scott!"

"Tha' would be me, lad." Scotty didn't turn away for a second. Sparks were flying through the air, and every single one seemed to miraculously miss his face.

"I'm Chief Security Officer Giotto... And I'm forming a team of specializing engineers on the Captain's orders."

"Fer what, lad?" Scotty grinned as a shower of sparks made Giotto jump.

"For... well, Turbolift B?"

Scotty paused, and the bouquet of sparks simmered down. "Wha's that ye say, lad?"

Giotto heard a distinct shift in his tone, from light to dark. He snapped into form.

"Turbolift B is broken, sir."

Standing, Scotty turned off the source of energy for his new little baby.

"But tha's not possible, lad. Ah've jus' fixed tha' turbolift." He turned to Giotto and gave him his full attention.

"I'm.. sorry, sir, that's what the Captain told me."

If Scotty had had a beard, he would have stroked it. Since he didn't, he just picked up a standard tool case and set off for the turbolift.

"Engineer Scott...! Don't you need a team...?"

Scotty smiled and said over his shoulder, "Ah am th' team, lad."

((()))

It was easy, really. It seemed like one of the repair teams had just crossed a signal while they were putting new walls in the hallways. Scotty just switched them back and the job was done. The turbolift door opened. Scotty glanced in, and then a double take.

"Well, Ah didnae expect this."

Bones was sprawled out on the ground, roughly yet elegantly. His eyes were relaxed, smoothing the crease Scotty usually saw in between his eyes on on his forehead. He looked five years younger without them, not that he looked that old when he had them anyway. His lips were a bit open, dry and chapped. Some of his bangs were drifting freely over his closed eyes, and he was developing a light shade of five o'clock shadow. Scotty was betting that he had passed out from a hangover because he had done exactly the same thing too many a time.

Scratching his head, embarrassed, Scotty stepped into the turbolift.

((()))

Apparently Jim had called Sickbay looking for him and then set a pack of officers on his trail. His comm signature was easy to find, but the turbolift was still stuck. Not many could fix a stuck turbolift. Fortunately Jim had the best at his beck and call, and he got top-notch engineers working on it. It was done in about five minutes, the timing was that good. Bones was only stuck for about seven minutes, though he didn't know it.

Bones tried to sit up straight in his medical cot. His head was still swimming from his fall, but he felt a helluva lot better than he did before.

"Dammit, Jim, those goddamn turbolifts are hellish. You should do somethin' about it." He was finally in Sickbay, had finally gotten his hypo to get rid of his goddamn hangover, and had finally gotten out of that goddamn turbolift.

"Yeah, whatever you say, Bones." Jim grinned. He knew that Bones was genuinely phobic, but he was so dramatic about it. He couldn't help but razz him. He continued seriously. "It won't happen again, really. Those things are pretty safe; they only freeze about once per year."

And so Bones blamed his luck after blaming all of technology. Before he could voice this newfound blame, Jim interrupted him.

"Bones, Scotty had a great idea, though. The turbolifts are going to have sensors installed to automatically alert Engineering if they stall."

"That's a pretty damn good idea, Jim. He should get some kind of award for it."

Jim laughed. "Yeah, I'm working on it. In fact... what award do you not have, Scotty?"

Bones turned his head. Sure enough, Scotty was there, sitting amicably across the room.

"Well, Captain, Ah think Ah've got 'em all covered."

"Well, Scotty, I suppose you'll have to suffer through a repeat."

"Ah think Ah'll manage, Captain."

"Good to hear, Lieutenant Commander."

"Ah hope ye pull on through, Doctor. Ah must naew return t' me new brainchild. Permission t' leave, Captain?"

"Permission granted."

So Scotty hopped back up, grabbed his tool set, and set off.

Bones smiled as he lay back in his cot. It wasn't a smirk or a grin, just a smile. "That Scotsman is a goddamn ray of sunshine, ain't he?"

"Yeah."

((()))

Scotty didn't go back to Engineering to work. After hauling the Doctor back to Sickbay, he had started to feel serious pain in his abdominal region, where he had had surgery. He was doubled over in pain as soon as he got into the hall.

Being the positive person he was, Scotty straightened up and walked away with a smile on his face. He even started whistling. Another man might have gone back into Sickbay and gotten it checked out, but Scotty was sure that some pain after his injuries was commonplace, even expected, to occur. He just had to get over it and stop his whining, if he wanted to get something done. He was already thinking of some new plans for his newest little baby. He rubbed his hands together excitedly, briskly trotting down the hall with a bounce in his step.

He was down the turbolift, down the hall, and down in Engineering before you could say bloody bagpipes, eager to get his hands on his new project again.

Keenser was sneaking up on the nacelle skeleton when Scotty hit him with a flying wrench. "Get daewn frum there, you bloody imbecile! This isn't a bloody climbing playground fer ye!" Keenser just squeaked, covered his head, and scuttled off, refusing to come down. Then Scotty realized that he had thrown his precious wrench across the entire Engineering.

"Me wrench!" Flustered, Scotty ran after it, pulling it gently from the dent in the wall and polishing it to a new shine, apologizing to it profusely.

Returning to his corner of Engineering, which was actually about the entire thing but he preferred one half to the other and set up most of his projects in the fourth of that half, but anyway, Scotty passed a familiar station for the first time since the last mission. He almost never went back here, usually; the only reason he had passed here was because of the thrown wrench. He stopped and looked a wee bit closer and saw the name imprinted in the paperwork, taking in a breath of surprise and sudden sorrow. He drew his fingers lightly over the panels and lights and buttons, finally crossing the name, committing the entire setup to memory, sitting in the chair and putting his face in his hands.

This used to be Mira's station.

He had never come to where she used to work every day because she had always managed to be in his corner with him, interpreting his Engineering parlance into her Science-speak, mixing the two into something magically captivating. Mira had always worn a lovely shade of blue, a shade that made her eyes pop like a punch into Scotty's face. He had had her installed into Engineering as a Science officer after the Captain suggested they start meshing the two groups for increased productivity and innovation, something which Scotty had definitely agreed with in an abstract sense. When he received his new pack of officers all in blue, he had seen her for the first time and just knew.

That lass had had a fire in her he had never seen in a woman before. She was devilishly clever, had a sense of humour, had a stubborn streak, and was amazingly brusque. She was a ball of fire rolling down a hill; Scotty had never met anyone quite like her. She spoke her mind and got what she wanted. At the same time, she was a caring, sweet lass who took good care of Scotty. Sometimes he never quite knew how the two of them got together, since he was almost ten years older than her, but since she was the one who had taken the initiative, Scotty was assuredly certain that he was not taking advantage of anyone.

And she was beautiful.

Long brown hair, flowing down to her shoulders in waves. Bright blue, mischievous eyes that looked directly into yours. An assured posture that was confident and aggressive, all weight on one leg and hands defiantly on her hips. Her curling smile and rebounding laugh.

Scotty had never been that interested in long-term relationships before, but this lass wouldn't take no for an answer.

It felt like a forever ago, but it had been right over there when she had demanded for more than friendship.

"Scotty, come over here."

"Wha' 'tis it, lass?" He had been working with his nacelles again, but now his hands stilled.

"Kiss me."

"...Come again, lass?"

"Montgomery Scott, you get over here and kiss me right now."

That was her no-nonsense voice that meant that what she said what what she wanted, and she would get it if it damn near killed her.

So she got her kiss. And Scotty's heart.

And even though it felt fine now, Scotty's heart had been torn apart twice that day, once by that silver lad and once by the news. It had felt so painful to crack a smile there where the good Doctor told him the awful news, and it was hard now. But he always managed.

Suddenly, the pain came back, flooding his chest with a shooting, awful stand of white-hot torture. He grasped at his heart, and his right arm. Was his chest hurting like this because of his heartache, or because of his surgery? Scotty didn't have the answer, so he just assumed the best.

The only problem was, he wasn't sure which was the better option.

The pain faded away after what seemed like forever but was only a moment.

He crossed his arms and laid his head down on them, on Mira's workstation, curling up and hiding there. He wasn't quite sure what to do now...

What to do...?

Ah. Aha!

"Ah'll add tha' converter t' th' sequencing and cross the charges over so Ah caen connect th' Heart t' th' mainframe!" He was elated at his brilliant new idea, and rushed off to complete it. He surrounded himself with his machines and tools, ecstatic with his brainchild and oblivious to everything else.

He got his wee little Heart pumping and connected it to the ship.

((()))

"When are you gonna get back, Jim?"

"Whenever this next funeral service ends. They've been taking longer and longer as the week goes on."

"And where were you this morning, at about 900 hours?"

If Jim thought his strangely specific questions were odd, he didn't show it. "I was personally consoling the Robinsons for their loss."

"About Ensign Robertson?" Bones knew him, he was a medical science officer in training who came to Sickbay often.

"No, Lieutenant Robertson." Jim knew him, he was in upper Security command.

The next party finished beaming out, and Jim stepped up on the transporter in full dress uniform by himself.

"See you later, Bones."

"Sure thing, Jim."

As Jim winked out of existence, Bones made sure he reappeared on the other side before leaving to return to Sickbay. Today was the day to begin his psychoanalyses on the crewmembers still working aboard ship. Most of them were planetside, but some were on repair. Bones preferred to take care of his work early and taking these crewmembers off the job for psychoanalysis was as good for them as shore leave. These were the officers who preferred to work during normal shore leave and who buried themselves in their work in order to blot out the rest of life, a feeling Bones understood all too well. So he planned for them.

There were a total of 54 crewmen still working aboard, many being repair teams. A few were working their regular jobs, like Spock, Jim, and Scotty, not to mention Bones himself, but not many. Since he knew what to look out for, Bones started his schedule with these regulars and filling in the extra spaces with the repair teams. He'd finish the rest of the crew when they returned from a well-earned shore leave.

Scotty was first on the list.

Then Bones copied the list into the computer and sent it out to the stations. The heads of the repair teams and departments would recieve them and pass out assignments according to availability and time constraints. After finishing, Bones sat back in his chair and got out a bottle of Scotch.

He was going to need it.

After all, it wasn't every day that Scotty came to Sickbay.

((()))

End of part 5