Title: In Your Eyes

Authors: Raven Shadowrose/BeethovenRIP

Rating: M

Pairing: ?/?

Summary: A joint FanFic by Raven Shadowrose and BeethovenRIP based on Dixie and Jeff's conversation at the end of Series 26 Episode 36. We have rated it M as future chapters will contain adult themes. Dixie wants to be a mother and Jeff is all too willing to oblige, but, does their conversation in the ED have an unexpected effect on their relationship?

Disclaimer: The authors do not know or own any characters or content from Casualty, any original characters and the story are ours and we do not give permission for anyone to use the story or reproduce it.

Author's Note: Thank you to chan. nelson4444, olivia. c. king1 and Carlykinz for your reviews. Welcome to xfilesgem and thank you for reviewing. We hope you enjoy this chapter.

Chapter Thirty-Five.

Dixie stood staring at the man in front of her, tears were streaming down her face at a rapid pace yet she made no attempt to brush them away. Was he really here? She kept asking herself this same question over and over again. She continued to blink a few times, but, when she opened her eyes, he was still there staring back at her. Dixie took in his features once more, he was wearing his trainers, blue jeans with his jacket done right up to near enough his neck. Dixie always loved how, whatever the weather, Jeff would insist on doing up his jacket, it was one of his little habits that she adored no end. She worked her blurred eyes up to his face, it hadn't changed one bit, he was still handsome, but, his eyes were red and sore, tears flowing freely from them as he stared back at her.

Dixie shook her head, he couldn't be here. She was lost for words; she didn't know what to think. This was all too much for her to take in. Dixie turned to Tess who was still stood next to her for confirmation that Jeff really was there in front of her. Tess nodded at the young Paramedic before placing a comforting hand on her shoulder as if to guide her towards him. Dixie stared at Tess trying to form a sentence, but nothing came out until she heard the one word that she craved and longed to hear once more. 'Princess.' That was it, Dixie knew instantly Jeff was there, he had come back for her. Without a second thought she ran around the bench and into Jeff's open arms. As soon as she got close to him, she flung her arms tightly around his waist as he pulled her into his body holding her close. Both buried their heads into the other's shoulders, taking in the familiar scents but crying uncontrollably at the contact they had been craving for so much and for so long.

Jeff held Dixie close to him, rubbing her head as he continued to cry into her, he could feel her shaking with tears beneath his arms, he had one person to thank for this and that was Tess. Without her, he didn't know if he would have had the courage to contact Dixie on his own. Jeff slowly lifted his head up from Dixie's shoulder as he made eye contact with the Sister. Although his eyes were sore and watering, he nodded at her before mouthing 'thank you.' Tess smiled in acknowledgement before she left the couple in the clearing, she had done all she could, the rest was down to them.

Jeff didn't know how long he had been stood holding Dixie, but, it wasn't long enough, he didn't want to let her go in case she shouted at him and ran off. He slowly moved his head away from her shoulder once more placing a soft and tender kiss to her cheek before she followed his action and moved away from him. Dixie didn't kiss his cheek back; she leant back staring at him instead. They both knew it was going to take more than a long hug, a few tears and a soft kiss to put the events of the last few months right. It was going to be hard, but, if they truly loved one another, it was something they needed to do. Slowly they moved so they were sat next to each other on the bench, the bench where this all started, the bench where Jeff asked Dixie to be his wife for real, it seemed somewhat fitting that they were here sat on that same bench. Would it help them start again? Or, will they come a complete circle and decide to separate?

Jeff was the first to break the silence, 'you scared me Princess, you scared me so much. Why did you do it? Why have you done this to yourself babe?' Deep down, he knew why, he knew it was his words that caused her to lose all this weight. Would she admit it? Was he ready to hear what she had to say to him? There was nowhere for Jeff to run now, it was time to face up to his actions.

'If I was thinner, no one could call me fat any more.'
'Dix, you were never fat.' Jeff replied without taking another breath.
'Yes I was, even you said I could stand to lose a few pounds, what was it you said to me? Oh yeah, who wants a woman who is over the hill and could stand to lose a few pounds. Remember that?' Jeff hung his head in shame as he nodded, he did remember saying that, for some reason having his own words, his own hurtful words thrown back at him was painful, it reminded him of the arguments they had had, all the cruel things he had said to her.

'Dixie, I never meant to say it; I never meant to hurt you.' His voice was merely a whisper, but, Dixie heard him loud and clear.

'Well you did Jeff, your words and actions hurt me, hurt me more than anything, hurt me more than losing my Dad, Cyd, everything.'

Dixie started crying once more at the memories that flooded her brain, all the memories of loss in her life, hurt, and anguish and of feeling alone. Jeff shuffled over taking her back into his arms holding her close as she cried; he rubbed circles on the back of her head as he rocked her gently. She was right, his words had hurt and had potentially devastating consequences. He held Dixie close, he could feel her ribs as his arm traced patterns over her back, this wasn't the same Dixie he had held all those months ago. The thought of her starving herself just so no one could call her fat upset him greatly, she was never fat, she was perfect, still is perfect and Jeff loved her.
'Dixie?' He said softly after a few moments and once he was certain Dixie had stopped crying.

Dixie moved her head out from the comfort of Jeff's chest as she looked him in the eyes. 'Babe, I know I said some horrible and unforgivable things to you, the past few months without you have been torture, all I wanted more than anything was to hear your voice, hold you close, be by your side. Dixie, can we work through this?' Jeff bit his lip, he needed to know if their relationship was going to be saved or whether he was to live the rest of his life alone and without her. He studied her expression carefully, for the first time in his life; he had no idea what she was thinking, 'Do you want us to work through this Jeff?'
'More than anything Princess. I love you so much. Please Dixie.'

Dixie didn't know what to say to him, she turned away from his embrace looking back out across the city before she started speaking again, 'do you remember what we did six months ago, almost to the day?'
Jeff nodded. 'We were sat here, not too dissimilar to how we are now. You had got yourself injured on a hoax call and I had taken you to the ED. We came here afterwards to talk. Do you remember what we spoke about Jeff?'
'As if it was yesterday.'
'You told me you loved me, I told you I didn't regret making love with you. We talked about being in a relationship and fears over what would happen if we broke up. Do you remember putting these rings on my finger Jeff?' Jeff nodded again, tears filling his eyes as Dixie took the rings out from under her top holding them out on the chain for Jeff to see. 'You promised me that night Jeff that nothing would ever happen to split us up, we would be fine together and that us being in a relationship was not going to change anything. It did Jeff, we changed, we went from loving each other to hating each other to being apart and now here we are once more.'
Jeff was worried, what was she getting at. Did she want a divorce? Was she going to reach into her bag and pull out divorce papers for him to sign?
'Dixie, what are you saying?'

'I don't know Jeff, I really don't. Everything is such a mess at the moment. I have missed you so much Jeff, I love you so much, but, can we really get over this and be together?'

Jeff could feel fresh tears rolling down his cheeks as he spoke, 'yes Dix, yes we can get over it. I promise you here and now I will be honest with you, open with you, tell you everything you want to know. I can't be without you Dix, I hate being in London, my life is here with you and Abs. Babe, I need you.'
'I need you too Jeffrey, so very much.' Dixie replied as new tears spilled down her face. The couple found themselves once more in each other's arms crying into their shoulders. They had made the first step, they had acknowledged they couldn't be without each other, it was going to be hard, making up and putting right all the months of wrong, but, they needed to do it.
After a few minutes, Jeff pulled away once more using his thumb to softly rub the tears away from Dixie's eyes. 'It is getting cold Princess, let's go.'
'To where Jeff?'
'How about I take you home to get some things and you come out for dinner with me tonight.' Dixie looked into his eyes and nodded taking the hand he offered to her as he stood up. Before they left the clearing, Jeff turned to face her once more, 'I want to make this work Dixie, I really do. I promise you now that I will make it right with you that we are going to start again. Tonight is all about you my beautiful Princess and no one else.' Dixie found herself smiling softly at her husband before they left the clearing walking back to the car hand in hand. Jeff dropped her off at home so she could get ready, he didn't want to rush her by coming in and getting in the way, he knew she needed time. He left her with instructions on how to get to the hotel he was staying at along with money for the taxi. Jeff arrived at the hotel himself and booked a table in the restaurant for the pair of them before he left to get ready as well.
Dixie wandered around her house, Jeff was back, he was really back. She felt like she was going on a first date with him right now, the fact that they were married, had already made love and were together wasn't relevant. They were going to start again, they were going to work through everything and hopefully come out stronger the other side. She quickly had a shower, gave Abs some food before putting on a pair of jeans, top and jacket. Jeff had asked her to bring some clothes with her in a bag, she wondered why. She wasn't ready to jump into bed with him straight away and make love, she needed more time. Deep down she knew Jeff wouldn't rush her, maybe he just wanted to have her close tonight? Dixie sighed and she looked over to Abs. 'Daddy is back mate, yes, you heard me right, daddy is back. I am going to go and see him, so, be good and I shall see you later.' Dixie tickled the dog before leaving the house heading back to Jeff.
She didn't know what to expect when she arrived at the hotel, she was directed to Jeff's room where she knocked on his door pleased that he opened it and greeted her with a massive hug. Even though they had a lot to talk through, his warmth and scent was going a long way to making up for everything. The couple enjoyed an understated meal in the restaurant talking mainly about work and Abs before they headed up to Jeff's room. 'Dixie, I have had a lovely time with you tonight and I don't want it to end.'
'Jeff, I…'
'Hear me out Dix. Please.'
'OK.'
'Stay with me Princess. I just want to be close to you, just want to hold you. I have longed for ages to have you in my arms as I sleep, please Dixie, I don't want you to go.'

Dixie looked up into his eyes; he held all of his emotion there, silently pleading with her to say yes, how could she not? She needed this as much as he did, she wanted more than anything to sleep in Jeff's arms once more. No more words were spoken between the couple as they got ready for bed, Jeff gave Dixie some privacy to get changed while he went into the bathroom to get ready himself, he didn't want to rush her or make her anymore self-conscious than she already was. Jeff turned out the light and climbed into the bed next to Dixie taking her into his arms as she rested her head on his chest. Jeff kissed the top of her head lightly, he was going to treasure this moment for ever, the day he came back to his Dixie and she let him hold her once more. It was going to be hard saying goodbye when the time came for him to go back to London and they had a lot of talking to do, but, for now, he was content that they had made some progress, he had the woman who meant everything to him in his arms once more, he was not going to let her go.