Author's Note: Apparently, that plot bunny neck bite was harder than I thought it was. I'm delighted at the positive responses to this one and I'm determined to keep this one short. Who knows? I said that with my last Reid/Prentiss fic and it ended up being 35 chapters. But, no matter. Let's keep the party going. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: "Honestly, it's not mine!"
"How are you, Spencer?"
He toyed with a loose thread of his beige cardigan and looked up through his lashes shyly. He still wasn't comfortable with talking so frankly about his inner thoughts but it was necessary. He wanted to get better. He had to get better. Talking, as hard as it was, would be a big help in making him better. Not healed…never healed but better…
"I still get the shakes and the headaches but I'm not throwing up anymore. And…and my flashbacks aren't as bad as before. Before, they felt like I was still there but now, it's like watching a suspense movie from the outside in. I know the outcome but it's still scary to remember the pain and the loss of control."
"Ah. How's your job?"
"I've decided to take some time off. Not permanently but…I need some time away to get through my own monsters before trying to catch others."
"Have you been talking to your other teammates?"
"A little and not about the Needle. I…I don't want to talk about it and they don't want to hear about it."
"Why do you say that?"
"They blame themselves for what happened. Since I'm the youngest, they've always felt this need to protect me from the really bad things in our job but Henkel kept them from doing that. They had to watch me be tortured and shot up and…I think they blame themselves for the Needle, too but they shouldn't. It was my choice to take those vials afterwards. It was my choice to shoot up and hide it from them. It was my choice to bite people's heads off and hurt feelings."
"And by people, you mean Emily mainly."
Spencer sighed and lay down on the plush couch, looking at the mural on the ceiling. Dr. Jemma King's office was a converted warehouse loft and also served as an art studio. She did mosaics mainly but the large Japanese garden at night that kept his interest. It was a scene of peace and tranquility, of beauty and warmth, a place of solace.
"Yeah. She's been sticking like glue this whole time and I'm grateful for it, honest but I'm just…confused. Why would the person I've been a raging son of a bitch to the most be so determined to get me through this?"
"She cares for you, Spencer. Deeply."
"And so do the others but none of them have gone above and beyond like she has. Last month, she spent her whole day off, a very rare day off, mind you making sure I didn't choke on my own vomit and she…sometimes, I hear her come in with groceries in the middle of the day and she brings me books and she sleeps in the guest room at least 2 nights a week. She even keeps a go bag there, now and…and she's been feeding me constantly. Home cooked things. Really good home cooked things. "
"I can tell. You've put back on some much needed weight. How does she get into your place?"
"I told her where the spare key was and she never put it back. Thing is that I don't want her to put it back. I…she's in my private spaces and I like it. My other teammates have never been to my place since we've been working together, not even Gideon but she's only been around for a little while and I gave her the key as easily as I read a map. Why? I don't understand why."
"From what you've told me, you and Emily seem to be kindred spirits in many ways, equals even. Perhaps you're just doing what comes naturally with her. She's shown you understanding and most importantly, unconditional acceptance, something you've indicated that you've lacked in your life."
"So that's why I want her close? It makes sense but what if it's all just a product of everything's that happened and once she thinks I'm better…"
She'll leave me too?
/
Jacqueline Prentiss Comfort/Hearty Recipe #28: Russian Borscht*
~*Materials needed*~
2 tbsps canola oil
1 lb lamb stew meat (cut into 12 inch cubes)
1 onion (peeled and finely chopped)
3 1/2 qts beef broth
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
2 tbsps lemon juice
1 1/4 lbs cabbage (cored and shredded)
1 1/2 lbs diced tomatoes (ripe)
2 lbs beets (peeled and diced tops reserved)
2 bay leaves
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp black pepper (freshly ground)
1 pt sour cream
1/4 cup dill (chopped)
~*Instructions*~
1) Heat canola oil over medium-high heat in a large stockpot until very hot. Add the cubed lamb, and sear until well browned. Stir in the onion, and cook until tender and translucent, about 2 minutes
2) Pour in the beef broth, vinegar, and lemon juice; add the cabbage, tomatoes, diced beets, bay leaves, salt, and pepper. Bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until the lamb and beets are tender, about 2 hours.
3) Chop the beet tops, stir into the borscht, and simmer an additional 15 minutes. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Garnish the soup bowls with a dollop of sour cream, and a sprinkling of dill after ladling in the soup.
"That damned driven mother of yours schleps you all over god's green earth and can't even be bothered to have someone feed you properly. You look as weak and tired as a little lamb."
"Nona, I'm fine. Honest."
"Dolcezza, your daddy used to say that all the time when he was far from fine so after I feed your belly, we'll talk and feed your heart, eh? Now, sit down. I got just the thing for you."
"What?"
"Borscht, little one. Don't look at me like that. I know what I'm talking about. It's full of meats and veggies, it's delicious, and it'll make you strong like bull for the days ahead. Now, sit..."
As always, her Nona had been right and when things were low, she'd always have a hankering for the stuff. She had found restaurants all over the world that could make it but those borschts weren't her Nona's. Emily figured that only she could make it in just the right way but she was determined to try now for Spencer…for Reid. She really had to get out of the habit of thinking of him as Spencer. Although he wasn't active, he was still a teammate, a co-worker. There had to be a boundary there for his return and he would come back. She didn't care how many placeholders Strauss found or the growing resigned sadness in the others' eyes, Emily had full faith in his ability to piece himself back together and come back stronger than ever.
I know they don't mean it that way but it's really irksome how the others have essentially written him off. I know the BAU can destroy a soul as easily as a socialite makes and leaks a sex tape but come on! They've worked with him for years, Gideon even being his mentor yet they think him weak and broken, like a little boy. Well, they're wrong. Spencer may be the youngest but he's got a well of strength and depth that men twice his age would kill for…
Someone sounds smitten, the ever present voice in her head chided with a wink and a nudge.
Smitten? Why would she be smitten? She's just a friend helping a friend.
Really? Friendship can only explain so much of your actions, Emily. Yes, friends bring each other food and yes, friends even hold you while you cry, at least the good kind of friends but you're putting a lot of faith in him. It's not misplaced but it's there. You haven't put faith in a guy in years, not since Matthew and you swore you wouldn't let yourself do that again for any guy. But, you're doing it for Spencer. Yes, Spencer. Don't you try and call him Reid, now. You say friendship but I see…
Now wasn't the time for such things. Spencer was over the Hump but detoxing never ended. The temptation for relapse would always be there and no matter what job he took, reminders of the case would be around. There would always be room for a bad day, a day where the flashbacks and the pain would be there just like it was happening in real time. The last he needed was her compartmentalization skills going straight to hell just because they spent more time together…and she had a key to his place…and she was turning into her Nona when it came to feeding him…
No. No, the voice was wrong. There was nothing but friendship there, deep real friendship but still, friendship. Nothing more and nothing less…
*Emily's grandmother's recipe was found on Yummly. Look under Helga's Russian Borscht. I've never had borscht myself but it sounds like just the kind of stick to your ribs comfort food a person would want in such times. I don't know for sure but it definitely fit with the story.