Easy on the death threats and hate mail there people-my grandkids kinda like papaw! Things will unfold soon but gotta set the proper mood first and some of you (mostly guests so you can be rude) aren't near wound up enough. Just remember who Hetty really is!

"What are you talking about Hetty" Kensi practically sobbed.

"It's his story to tell Ms. Blye, but it is in the official report which I'm betting no one has read. Now, I take it you didn't tell him about your 'guest' did you Kensi" she asked looking directly at her. "That is your story but I think your team here needs to know it at this point as it will help explain his looks and actions. Please include the night in the rainstorm". Then Hetty spun and left. Damn she's is really good thought Hetty.

After hemming and hawing, Kensi finally told them everything. "Who the hell is the guy Kensi" Sam almost grabbed her as he said it.

"Not important" was all she muttered and everyone there looked at her in shock.

"The hell Kens" growled little Nell, "that's the reason for his actions that night. It was like a knife to the heart!" Kensi walked away as Nell turned her back on the group also.

2 days latter Hetty announced "Mr. Deeks is going under as Max Gentry and according to Lt. Bates it will take 4 to 6 months. He is going after a major drug trafficker. The Lt. also wishes me to pass on his thanks for chasing his best operative back to LAPD full time AND that you leave him alone in the future. He has been hurt enough recently, he doesn't need anymore 'friendly fire" especially from Agent Blye."

Kensi ran to the bathroom with tears in her eyes. 2 hours later she came back and said "how much do you guys know?'

Sam offered "I know Deeks called me recently and he was really confused. He was asking how Chelle and I made it work. I told him ours was a different situation since when the task for ended we weren't together 24/7. I also apologized for my part in this. I realized I hadn't said a decent word to him since long before he brought in that cactus. Deeks went on to talk about feeling inferior and not having a point of reference for a stable relationship since his mom and dad were lost causes. He also talked about G slamming the door in his face and you want to keep getting away from him after your 'all in' promise. He said he understands needing a day away now and then but also is confused since you invited him to meet your friends then you got mad at how he kidded you and that started the fight and the time away from him discussion. When he explained all that I gotta agree, it sounded like your normal banter not a fight starter. He was hurt when no one said anything to him about Thapa, especially you Kensi. He was hurting after that happened. G and I should have known it also, but you were his partner and you weren't there for him like he has been for you. Finally he talked about the 'no one wants Deeks' partner swap. I would add that when we were talking getting shot- -you could have easily said maybe my partners just better than yours. That last part is just my observation not his comment but a chance to toss him a comment in front of all of us. I know he has kept you from getting shot on several occasions. After that I assume he went to see you. At least he said he was." Kensi looked on in amazement at what Sam said, never having thought about any of that. Is this getting out of hand?

G said "Sam why didn't you tell me."

"It's his or their story G, not mine. Oh and Kens, we both know about the 2 of you also. One final thing, he said he feels it's been so long since you had a relationship you forgot how to care about the other person and as your role model was a marine, you feel the need to wear the pants so to speak. He feels emasculated. Says all he does is cooking, cleaning, washing and taking care of the dog. When he says something you don't like he gets a suck it up or be a man. Now fill in the gaps here Kensi." She did just that-telling them about Deeks coming over, seeing the man in her house, going to the beach and disappearing.

"Well that explains the knuckles and his overall condition. I bet he passed out and you left him there. Not a good move Agent Blye." Sam and G went to the gym saying they needed to talk and work it off. Kensi finally went to the range after setting at her desk staring into space for some time. Did I really do this? Am I that bad? Should I show affection at work? Am I that cold? He seems to enjoy our 'horizontal exercise'. All this and more was running thru her head as she emptied her 3rd clip. Maybe I should call mom. I wonder if she could help. But she ran from dad when things got tough.

For the next 2 months the agents handled a variety of smaller cases as a threesome. Nell augmented the team on 2 occasions due to the nature and size of the case. The whole time Kensi was involved only as it related to work. No byplay or drinks after a case. She wasn't eating nor was she sleeping and the nightmares persisted. Everyone at OSP had noticed the change.

Finally she got up the courage to call her Mom. "Mom, I need to talk. Can I come by" Kensi sniffed as she was leaving OSP for the day.

"I'll be here. Come on over" Julia responded.

Almost 3 hours (including drive time) later, over coffee, Kensi ended it by saying "I chased him away mom. I did some really silly stuff that a girlfriend shouldn't do and he left. I need to know how to be a girlfriend again if I'm gonna try and get him back. But I'm not sure I remember how, it's been so long. He's the one mom. Without him I don't care about anything else" and she started sobbing. Then she added "it's a mountain out of a mole hill but I'm the one who created the mountain."

After talking for another hour Julia ended by saying "you just have to make him feel good when he's hurting babe. It's not about right or wrong, just making him feel good when he's down. I've never seen him anything but happy. I have trouble believing he could get that down. My guess is the issue is trust now. The rest would go away with talking but you lost his trust when you didn't tell him about helping Jack at Hetty's request. That broke him and hurt more than anything. You've both talked about how hard it was to learn to trust the other when you first became partners. Now you have violated that trust-not because Jack was there, but by not telling Marty about him. I bet Marty would have understood, but because you didn't believe you could trust him with the information you froze him out and hurt the one man that would have understood. Have you told Jack about you and Marty or does he think there's a chance of you 2 getting back together?" The silence told Julia all she needed to know. She finally said "Wow, got home and get your head on straight Kensi, please before he is gone forever."

Kensi finally went home after driving around for what seemed like hours but had really been only about 45 minutes. Jack wasn't there when she unlocked the door and walked in. As she closed and relocked it she continued thinking about Sam and her mom's comments-you have to make him feel good when he's down. I have never seen Marty unhappy. He feels emasculated. The implication being what the hell have you done to him girl? Not explaining the situation to him was stupid- -or was it spiteful. I have forgotten how to be that "lacy person" he talked about!

It's started but gonna be a while before they speak again. How we doing here? Oh, remember italics are someone's thoughts