Author's Notes: I'm thinking about a Tumblr dedicated to my writing. Any comments on that? It would enable people to ask questions, share their favorite moments, allow me to keep people abreast of how chapters are coming, and all other sorts of things. I would even be open to asking questions of the characters (any of the good-guys, and possibly also Elijah), about things that have already happened. I'm thinking of a test run coming up, but who knows, it might to no where.

A short chapter this time because it felt like the right place to end it. Expect another sooner than normal.

Hyne's War: Chapter 19

Blood on his hands, but it's not his. Hyne if only it was his. Then there wouldn't be this quilt, this feeling of hopelessness, this emptiness. Instead he's here, weeping over an already cooling corpse. Cooling by his own actions. And now its all he can do to let go, pull back, slowly stand and turn to face the reason. The reason this had all come to pass. He glares up and out through the fog, trying not to tremble. His arms are weak, his body shaking, his mind reeling, drowning in the red of blood, staining the fog crimson. Blood, he decided, would pay for blood. What other price was enough to pay for...

Nida jerked awake, his hand reaching up to clutch at the metal harp that hung around his neck. The touch of the metal sent a wave of warmth over him, like a summer breeze. It was like that whenever he touched the pendant with Siren sealed in it. Her touch was a comfort, and Nida could not help but thank her for it. There would be little enough time for comfort in the coming days, and few enough sources, so he was willing to take what he could get, where he could get it. Especially with the dream. How many times had he had variations on the same bloody smoke dream? Every time he closed his eyes since the poisoning it had come to him, the specifics different but the gist the same. And each time it felt more pressing, more immediate, closer to the fog lifting free. That was something he both longed for and feared. The former would tell him who was at risk, the latter might mean he couldn't save them.

With a sigh Nida pushed himself out of his bed—the attempt at rest doing him no goo—and rubbed at his temples. A glance at the clock at his bedside told him he'd wasted three hours at his nap. Hours better spent by packing, planning, setting things in order for his trip. It had taken another hour to get the assembled world leaders to submit to Nida's plan, and from there they moved to strategies and enough pointless chatter to make Nida want to scream. At last Seifer managed to offend enough people, set enough leaders on edge for Squall to call the meeting to a close before everyone was demanding Seifer's head. Nida had been sent back to his room to prepare, only to find himself too tired to think. Now he stood, less time to get ready and no more prepared to think.

At last he pushed himself up from the bed, just in time for the door to chime. With a sigh Nida strode into the main room, calling out as he went. "Come on in, it's open." Anything else would have made people worry that Nida was plotting something behind his locked doors. What little trust he had earned wasn't going to be thrown away for any illusion of privacy.

Sure enough the door slid open with a whoosh, leaving Seifer to all but stomp in, glowering. Once it might have been amusing to see Seifer in such a state (well, to be honest, had Seifer come in like this when they were cadets, Nida would have freaked out), but now it just made him all the more tired.

"What do you want?" Nida asked.

"That the kind of greeting you spare me these days?"

"When you come in fuming..."

Seifer rolled his eyes before moving further into the room, his eyes darting around quickly. "You haven't started yet."

"Was tired," Nida admitted, which only earned him a look that made Seifer seem as tired as Nida felt.

"I was hoping you'd gotten this stupid idea out of your head."

"Stupid? You were..."

"Supporting something I couldn't see an alternative to, not something I liked. Dammit Nida, you're going to be delivering yourself right into their hands."

"Glad to see you care," Nida muttered.

"Don't get me wrong, Nida, but I really don't. I mostly care that whatever they think you're going to get from you, they don't."

"You don't believe in the power of Hyne?"

"There's a lot of things I don't know what to think of," Seifer admitted. "I believe in the wild, untamed magic you're supposed to unlock for them. How can I not when I've seen beings like Ultimecia? No, I believe in a lot of things. I just wish I didn't have to. And now I'm supposed to believe that you're putting what may be our best tool into their hands. I can't believe you're letting yourself pushed like this. They'll know why you're coming, when you're coming, most of our plans..."

"Unless Squall doesn't share his plans until the last minute," Nida pointed out.

The comment put a pensive look on Seifer's face. "That might not be enough if..."

"Xu," Nida offered the name up, at once eager to know Seifer's opinion and fearful of it. Whether the fear was that he was wrong about her, or that he was right, Nida didn't know.

"You too?"

At last Seifer plopped himself down on a couch and stretched out. A weariness Nida did not associate with Seifer came to dominate the blonde's demeanor. "I've had suspicions about her for a while. Since when wasn't she a good enough shot to take down a stationary target like Elijah was that night? Now, with Squall..."

"She was always more open to this Heir idea than the others. More eager to believe, more eager to hear what I had to say," Nida added, glad to finally get the words out. Maybe what he had read in Seifer and Squall's expressions when Kadowaki was taking care of Squall had meant more than he had thought.

"The way she reacted to you and the robe, your dreams the first time she heard, what we learned from the Zebalgans we captured, it all seems to point that way."

"If I had to pick someone as a sleeper agent, it'd be her. She's been with Garden for years, she's intimately trusted by Quistis—and myself, once—and in the position to know not only classified information, but everything there is to know about Garden and it's operation. Xu's perfectly placed, and she can keep a better eye on Balamb Garden than Elijah ever could."

"And she's been trained to handle lots of different kinds of computer problems, and is familiar with the systems to the point where she can cover her tracks," Seifer added, shaking his head. "We never had a chance to hide anything from her."

"If this is all right, then there's a chance she was the one who murdered the captives. We don't know what she's capable of if she's willing to kill her own comrades."

"The problem is that we don't know what any of them are capable of. All we know is a portion of what they believe, and that coming either from their own mouths or scholars. Can we trust any of it?"

Nida thought back to Elijah, what he'd said the night he'd tried to kidnap Nida, what he'd said on the beach, and sighed. "I don't know what to think anymore. All I know is that I have to be the one to go there."

"Squall..."

"Would die," Nida mumbled, but apparently Seifer heard it because there was an incredulous look meeting the statement.

"He's a lot stronger than you're giving him credit for."

"Strength isn't going to matter," Nida countered, sitting down himself. "Seifer, after Winhill, you're willing to listen to what I have to say about these dreams?" Seifer nodded, so Nida continued. "In the conference room I had another. Yes, before you cut me off, I know, Squall told me I'm supposed to report them all. But this one, it didn't really give me a chance. You saw he aftermath of it."

"The 'no?'"

Nida nodded. "I was responding to something I saw. Well, one of the somethings I saw. A variation on one I've had for a while now. Someone dead... But the important thing was what came before it. Squall, dying, and knowing that it was up to me to prevent it. And the only way it was avoidable was for me to make a choice. Either sacrifice Squall's life, or the life of the person I couldn't see but had been dreaming about."

"What kind of choice?"

"I'm not sure. I think it was the choice I made. Going to the Zebalgans."

"And how do we know that the other dead person wasn't Squall?"

It was something Nida hadn't considered before, but even as Seifer suggested the idea, Nida knew it wasn't right. There was no rational to the certainty, no explanations, no excuse that made it make sense to even Nida, but he knew it nonetheless. Knew it like he knew the cool feel of metal against his skin was from Siren's necklace, like the feel of his weapons in his hands, almost even as well as he used to know what it felt like to be the center of Elijah's world. If Squall went to the Zebalgans, he would die. If he didn't, he would survive. For how long, Nida didn't know, but the important thing was that he survived. Who else could keep the military forces of the world united, could face the threat of the Zebalgans without backing down, and be willing to sacrifice whatever was necessary—even himself—to win?

"How do you know how to breathe when you're nothing thinking about it?" Nida asked in response, hoping that would be enough to get his certainty through to Seifer. The blond seemed skeptical for a moment, but Nida never expected to be taken seriously in any of this stuff in the first place, so even the sigh that came with Seifer giving in was almost a surprise.

"Fine, if you're sure about this, then there's nothing I can do."

"There is. Watch out for Squall."

"Doesn't even need said. From what I saw today, it's going to take a lot of work to keep the Ice Princess from throwing himself at suicide missions for no reason. Was he like this last time?"

"He attacked an entire Garden full of trained military professionals with only two people to back him up. He went after a Sorceress with control over time itself with five companions, one of which was a Sorceress herself with unpredictable powers, and the possibility of loss didn't only mean having their existence destroyed, but that of the entire world. He sparred with an arrogant gunblader who was more than willing to injure his sparring partner for no apparent reason..." Nida said, more than happy to enumerate specific instances of Squall's seemingly reckless behavior, and was only stopped by Seifer shaking his head.

"Injure him? Hyne, does everyone think that was deliberate?"

"When you consider who he was fighting, yeah."

Seifer shrugged. "Not much I can say in my defense I guess. Always felt it was better practice when you're working with live steel though."

Nida nodded in agreement. There was something different about knowing your sparring partner really could kill you. The adrenaline flowed in a way that blunted weapons couldn't quite create.

"Well, anyway, I've said my part. Obviously I'm not going to convince you, and this little conversation isn't doing much to get your packing done," Seifer said with a grunt as he pushed himself back to his feet. "Squall says to send him word when you're ready. He's got some orders that are for your ears only, and after that he's getting the SeeDs together to discuss where you'll be deployed and all those little details."

"Will Xu..."

There wasn't even time to finish the question before Seifer was nodding. "I think Squall's a little distrusting of her as well, but I can't be sure. He could well have known before us, and intends to include her to make sure we're not dropping you off in the middle of a desert with no one around for days in any direction. The last thing anyone needs is you dying of dehydration."

That got a half-hearted smile from Nida, and Seifer smirked in response.

"My advice is pack a knife and keep it with you at all times," Seifer said as he strolled to the door. "Between the Zebalgans that want you dead and Elijah, you might need it."

Then Nida was alone in his room again, left with only his thoughts and the memories of dreams—futures—yet to come.

There's a hand held out, shadowy and hard to see in the thickness of the smoke. From beyond it a point of radiance framed against impenetrable shadow. White and black framed in gray. Nothing like the blood red in his arms, the dark blue of his uniform. An angel holding out his hand, offering Nida everything he had never had before, would never have a chance at again. Power, glory, recognition, and most of all, life. Tempting, so tempting.

The body laid aside, and Nida struggling to his feet, weapons left behind as he staggers towards the vision of white and black so deep that even his own uniform seems bright in contrast. And still there is blood on his hands, no matter how much further he steps.

A hand on his shoulder and Seifer shaking his shoulder to get his attention, to unknowingly wake him from the smoke that seemed to consume him more and more lately. With a sigh he ran a hand through his hair, his eyes glancing around quickly to see if anyone else had noticed. A quick glance seems to say no one else had, until he met Irvine's eyes. There was something there—realization? sympathy? sorrow?—that Nida wasn't sure how to deal with.

"...on the commlink," Squall continued the briefing, seeming to have not noticed Nida's lack of attention as Seifer and Irvine had.

"The issues becomes whether they allow him to keep it or not," Irvine said, breaking the hold his violet eyes had over Nida by pulling his hat further down, casting his face into shadow. "Even if Boyce, Joshua and Elijah were the only SeeD that defected, they at least are sure to know about our comms. Which means they can easily search Nida for his and destroy it. What then?"

"There isn't much that can be done about that," Quistis said with a sigh. "No matter what we give him, they will likely find it. All we can do is hope they don't, that Boyce wants a means to communicate with us without a problem."

"That and keep to the time line we've set up," Seifer agreed. "Let's face it, once Nida leaves on that flier, he's out of our hands unless the Zebalgans wish otherwise."

"Another reason I don't think he should go alone," Zell mumbled, but Seifer seemed to either not hear or he ignored it outright.

"I for one am confident in him doing what is needed."

"Same here," Selphie agreed. "Worst comes to worst, Nida can get away to some safe place we set up. I know he can do it."

"But where?" Quistis asked.

"The ruins," Nida said, even as the words came from Irvine.

"That's insane!" Zell protested, loud enough this time for Seifer and Squall to both shoot him a glare.

"It's the best idea. We'll see if we can't send in a group to secure the location for you," Squall countered, halting any further protests from Zell. "That seems to be all we can arrange for now. I'll leave the last of the preparations in your hands, Nida. I'm sure you know what needs done. Check in before you leave and remember, we'll come for you in five days, whether you've contacted us or not."

Nida nodded, and started to push back from the table as the others were doing when he felt something tap against his shoe. Part of him wanted to turn to Seifer and yell at the blond for kicking him, but as he did he found Seifer leaning back in his seat with a sigh.

"If I can give you a bit of advice about going into enemy territory," Seifer said, even as Nida felt Seifer tap his shoe again. "Don't stab Elijah out right. From what I got in Winhill, even with that lecture of yours, he'd likely give his life to protect you."

"I'm not sure about that," Nida mumbled, turning his attention on the tapping. It was still going on and something about the pattern of it was familiar.

"You could probably shoot him in the foot and find he still has faith in the mighty 'Heir."

Morse code, Nida realized after another few taps. Apparently Seifer at least had come up with a good way to pass a message with no one else noticing, and was more than willing to hide it with a frivolous seeming conversation.

"Seifer might be right," Squall agreed, the only other person present save for Xu—who was shuffling through papers and sorting them out—who was still present at this point. "If what you reported from Joshua is true, you will need protection, and Elijah seems to be one of those clearly on your side."

"Plus he's got authority from what the intel implies," Seifer added, still tapping away.

'Three' was all Nida had managed to pick out at this point, and he was mentally cursing himself for not refreshing himself on Morse once since he'd passed that test as a cadet. But the question was what 'three' meant. Still, Seifer didn't seem to be about to let up, not until he was sure Nida had gotten the message, which meant keeping up this conversation even though he didn't want to. The more they went down this road, the more likely it was that just why Elijah was protective of Nida would come up, and he was no more in a rush for everyone to learn that than he had been before. Seifer alone knowing it was bad enough, and he'd at least kept the secret until now.

"If he is one of these council members, he'll be able to provide you protection, and Megill himself might even order that. If you get guards, don't shake them off," Squall said, his tone carrying 'this is an order' in ways that Nida couldn't question. Then again, whether Nida would obey or not was another question.

Three not. Three not what?

"Just what I wanted. Five days among the enemy. Some think I'm some kind of legendary person, others want me dead, and I have to try to act as a negotiator and not get myself killed or give away some nebulous secret to the ultimate magic power that I don't even know? I'm starting to regret suggesting this."

"None the less, you have, and we've no other choice," Squall said with a sigh.

"I'm just imaging the headlines now," Seifer said, a mocking tone in his voice. "On every paper you'll see some variation of 'Mysterious Fly-boy Saves World.' At least Squall and the chickies were recognizable by the end. How many people even know your face?"

"Thanks, I'm really comforted by that," Nida grumbled.

And there, all of the message, looping around again. Three days, not five. So this was how Squall was going to try and subvert the Zebalgan traitors. How he was going to manage to gather their forces in secret, what was going to happen in three days—a rescue mission or an all out assault—and another ten questions ran through Nida's head, all without any possible answer. Still, it was what he needed to know, even if he had to act like he had more time. Carefully he timed Seifer's next few taps so that he could push back, letting Seifer know to stop. Once the blond had, he tapped an okay back quickly along with the message as he had received it to make it clear he understood.

"But, honestly, I think I'd prefer to finish up the very last of my packing. I'm going to bring a second comm if it is alright, and an emergency transponder. I also wanted to make sure it was okay if I disable the flier once I land..."

"Disable how?" Squall asked as Nida pushed back from his seat and began to stand.

"The self-destruct. Even if they are waiting for me at the landing point, I can quickly arm it, grab by gear, and bail out before they could have any hope of disabling it."

Squall seemed to ponder this for a moment, before nodding at last.

"If that is what you feel is best, then do it."

Nida nodded, and with a small gesture, excused himself from the presence of the others. There was very little else to do now. It was time to go.

Ten feet. Five feet. Three feet. A foot. Still the hand waits. This is the only way he can survive. He must take the hand.

He must be what he was born to be.

The hand closes around his, and then there is no smoke, no shadow, no fog. Only darkness. Darkness tinged crimson red.