Disclaimer:Even if the boys so nicely play in the sandbox we've created, we still don't own them. Neither do we own the disturbed song we're using - Sonata Arctica's "My dream's but a drop of fuel for the nightmare".
Beta: Azrax (...We bribe you with our thank yous?)
A/N (Anae): ...Cloud, I'm sorry. But you won't have any regrets in the future? Maybe?
Anyways, huge thank yous for those who commented and faved! You're important to us. For now, enjoy and see you in the next chapter!
A/N (QttQ): There are people who write fluffy, romantic stories. There are people who enjoy making their characters live happily ever after. And then there are people like us, who do this.
Leon, learn some manners. That's all I have to say.
If you believe that these two still have a future, then stick with us and wait for the next chapter!

Chapter VII: Decapitate me

The broken glass I stepped on,
twice
The ardent spirits' rusty edge,
decapitate me

The Coliseum never slept. During the day, battles were carried out at the arena; the dust didn't even have the time to settle until new opponents already entered the circle. During the nights, most fighters enjoyed the deserved sleep and rest they got, but some trained even through the darkest hours. There was always someone up and about and the building was never completely silent.

Leon preferred to spend his free time away from the Coliseum. It gave him a chance to forget about battles, to let both his mind and body rest for a while. Especially now, with the situation at hand, the brunette took those moments as a chance of forgetting Cloud momentarily and thinking of something else. The problem was, his thoughts just wouldn't co-operate.

It had been two days since their clash of words, since Cloud had told him not to attempt making any contact again. Leon's mind had worked the discussion over so many times, that he was almost tired of it all, but he just couldn't stop. The thoughts of Sephiroth wouldn't leave him, the idea of Cloud's suffering wouldn't give him peace. That, and - even if it was hard to admit - he was already starting to yearn for the blond's company.

So when Phil had made a comment on how Cloud seemed to be glued to the cliff only a short walk from the Coliseum whenever he didn't have a battle arrangement, Leon's mind was already made up. It only took a bit of self-encouragement before the gunblader was on his way towards the spot he knew rather well. It provided one with a splendid view of the city and especially during the night, with the ground lit by small windows and the sky lit by tiny stars, the scenery was breathtaking.

As expected, Leon spotted a dark figure at the edge of the cliff. The enormous sword, tightly secured to the man's back was enough to reveal his identity, but the fair spikes were what gave it away to Leon. Standing there, barely visible against the slowly darkening sky, Cloud looked as lonely as Leon felt.

He was sure Cloud heard him long before Leon was even close. There was no reaction, however, and a few feet behind the silent, brooding man, the gunblader halted. He didn't know what to say - he didn't even know why he'd come. He just knew he wanted to mend the crack that had appeared between the two of them.

"Cloud." It was just an acknowledgement, a way of telling the blond that he was here, even if it wasn't needed. If Cloud had meant business, if he really didn't want to be around Leon anymore, then why hadn't he left, already? Amongst the insecurity that had taken over Leon's mind, a small ray of hope was lit. Perhaps this battle hadn't been lost quite yet.

It would've been stupid for Leon to assume Cloud hadn't noticed him before he spoke up. Yet the way the younger man's body stiffened - something Leon wouldn't have seen if he hadn't spent so much time with the blonde - was telling a different story.

Or maybe Cloud just tensed beforehand, expecting the obvious words that Leon had come to say. Yet, instead of ignoring the brunette completely, Cloud spoke. "What do you want?" His tone was cold and flat, eyes never leaving the cliff and the city.

Leon wasn't sure if apologizing would make the situation any better. He'd pushed Cloud into answering questions he might not have wanted to know the answer for, but it was too late to take it all back now. No, Leon's main duty wasn't to apologize, but it was something to start with.

"I came to say I'm sorry."

The brunette's voice seemed to loud and strong in comparison with Cloud's. The blonde's tone was cold and distant, but Leon didn't let himself be pushed away. If Cloud wanted to get rid of him, he'd have to try a lot harder.

"And to tell you that I'm not going anywhere."

Now that caught some kind of reaction but Leon wasn't sure what it was. Cloud turned a bit, one shoulder still towards the city but eyes meeting gunblader's. There was definitely something lingering behind those icy sky blue orbs but Leon couldn't put his finger on it. Yet.

"I already told you, it's over." There was finality in those words, just like a few days ago. But Leon had already made up his mind, and he hadn't come this far just to give up.

Something in Cloud's words didn't impress Leon. Perhaps it was the gunblader's own determination, but he didn't believe Cloud wanted this to be over, either. The brunette was ready to do his part of the job, but he needed Cloud's co-operation to make it work.

"That's not your decision to make." Perhaps Leon was stepping over some boundaries and even being a bit ridiculous, but he did have a say in this, too. He wasn't going to accept Cloud's opinions without at least trying to work everything out, first. "I'm not giving up because you tell me to. I'm no fool."

"You are." Cloud turned, now fully facing Leon. "If you want to keep me close, you are a fool." The blonde took a few steps closer, stepping into Leon's private space and hissed, words carrying a a real threat. "I could kill you."

Leon had to admit, that when Cloud approached him, an alarm went off in his head, telling him to reach for the gunblade that rested in its holster. He didn't, however - he silenced the demand his mind was making and concentrated on Cloud's words, even daring to scoff slightly.

"Because I asked some questions?" That was exactly what Leon had done. Sure, he'd nearly forced Cloud to answer them, but that was his only crime. It was obvious that Cloud didn't enjoy the fact that he knew those answers now, but that was no reason to cut off the agreement they'd shared until now. "You're not like that."

"You don't know me", Cloud coldly answered. It was a shame, but Leon knew what their relationship was. They had fucked, yes, and he knew about Cloud's past now but to tell the truth, that wasn't much to go on. Except the fact that he had calculated right - the blonde hadn't even once reached for his sword.

So, Cloud was right. Yet, even if Leon hated to admit that, it stung. Perhaps he'd overestimated it all. Their agreement. Their closeness. Perhaps he had no value in Cloud's eyes. Leon realized that he'd come to value the blond so much that he wasn't ready to let go of what they had. That didn't mean the feeling was mutual.

Suddenly, Leon felt rather stupid. He truly felt like a fool for believing that the time they'd spent together would've meant something to Cloud. He was the idiot here, not the fighter he was pestering.

"Well, I thought I did." Frustration seeped into Leon's voice as the brunette's expression darkened. He faced Cloud with a sour look, disappointed in himself. "I thought you weren't a coward, but I guess I was wrong."

The last phrase hit the mark, making Cloud tear his gaze away from the brunette. "You'd be surprised", he muttered. Those words made Leon stare a while, wondering, but soon the younger fighter got his composure straight, looking at the older man. "Are you done?"

Leon could've left it at that. Had he been wise, he would've just walked away and ended the conversation right there and then. However, the frustration within him was far too strong to be ignored, and it fuelled Leon's slowly growing anger. He wasn't truly angry at Cloud, but at himself and the entire situation, but the blond was right there and it was too easy to take it all out on him.

"No." Leon's tone was sharp now, meant to harm. It wasn't often that the brunette acted like this, but he was beyond irritated. Even Leon had his own limits. "No wonder you're alone, considering your attitude."

That didn't even hurt Cloud. Or at least Leon didn't see it through his wave of frustration and rising anger. "I chose solitary", Cloud spat back. "It was until you took me to bed out of pity."

Leon's reaction surprised even himself. The cold, humorless laughter that rose from his throat and became something of a scoff; a cruel sound, void of emotion.

"Pity." They'd been over this. He hadn't offered a place in his bed - and his life - out of pity. He thought he'd convinced Cloud of this matter, but apparently the blond still had his doubts. Well, he didn't have the energy to correct him, not anymore. Apparently Cloud thought he was just a cheap, plotting, nosy man, completely worthless and unimportant. Leon swore he heard a crack, but he wasn't sure if it was his feelings or his self-control that suffered the damage.

"One would think you'd welcome anyone who'd accept someone with a wing on their back, out of pity or not." Leon's eyes were cold as they looked at Cloud, aware of how the distance between the two of them grew with every syllable. "You can't really afford to be picky about your partners."

Cloud didn't move, just stared Leon a while, hands clenching into fists. If he had been expecting something, this wasn't it, Leon knew. And as he saw hurt in blonde's eyes, that brought him some sick satisfaction. "I was never looking for a partner, and you know that", Cloud spat back, but his words had no real bite.

Leon could practically see Cloud's defenses crumbling and he knew he should've been feeling terrible. The anger, however, the pure rage his own deeds and Cloud's attitude were fueling was making Leon blind to everything but the victorious feeling he got from snapping back at the blond. He'd come here to make things better, but he'd ended up shattering what was left. It didn't matter anymore - he could step on the pieces, as well.

"Because you can never keep one." Leon huffed, suddenly very fed up with the situation. He wanted to get away, he didn't need to listen to Cloud and his pathetic excuses. "So be alone, I don't care. But don't say you didn't enjoy it, even for just a while."

Cloud finally turned his head aside, a clear sign of Leon's 'victory'. Another was that he kept silent instead of trying to spit something back. Even to Leon, in his state of mind, it was clear that he had managed to shatter - if not break - something. He should've cared but right now, he didn't give a fuck.

So, when he got no answer, he presented his back on Cloud, mumbling "Whatever", before leaving Cloud.

Alone.