Chapter 4
"Hmm, that smells divine," Lou said as she made her way down the last flight of stairs. After unpacking her few things, she had taken a much-needed nap. The trip on the stagecoach had left her exhausted, and after a couple of hours' sleep she felt refreshed and full of new energy. "I really miss your cooking, Rachel," she added as she finally reached the end of the staircase and crossed over to the kitchen.
"Thanks, darling," the blonde woman replied with a smile.
Louise approached her friend who was feeding her baby some vegetable purée, and stood watching the magical moment between mother and daughter. "There's little left of the baby in the photograph you sent me."
"She's almost eight months now."
"Not so much a baby anymore, is she?" Lou remarked, and Rachel shook her head, suddenly assaulted by some strange sadness and longing for the baby her daughter had been and would never be again. "Theresa wants to have a baby," Louise continued, "and I wish that too. A child in our very silent house would make a whole lot of difference."
"Yes, you're right there. A child changes everything."
"So since 'I' can't have babies, she…" Lou muttered.
"Lou! Sure you can!" Rachel exclaimed, stopping the spoon midway in the air. Baby Louise had her mouth open, eagerly expecting the next spoonful of food, but, when her much desired purée did not come, she started to fuss in protest. Rachel then resumed the feeding while saying, "Lou, you're young, and life is long. Look at me, for example. I thought I'd never become a mama, and then I was proved wrong."
"You sound like my sister," Louise replied.
"She thinks that what I need is for a man to sweep me off my feet, and then all my other problems will be over."
"It's true you need to sort out your love life," Rachel added. "Maybe Theresa is right."
"Prince Charming won't knock at my door, that's for sure," Louise replied in a mocking way.
As luck would have it, a few knocks came from the front door. Rachel lifted her eyes to check the time on her wall clock, and said, "Who could that be at this time? Allan is at the stables, but he won't knock."
"Let me get it," Lou offered, and before walking out of the kitchen, she stopped. "Who knows? Maybe it's my Prince Charming," Lou joked, batting her eyelashes comically.
Rachel's giggles resounded behind Lou as she resolutely marched into the hall. With a powerful yank she opened the front door, and almost instantly her smile froze, and a face of apprehension and even shock appeared instead. Her big eyes almost popped out, staring at the person in front of her, and her whole body seemed to have turned into hard stone all of a sudden.
"Hello, Lou."
The voice managed to snap her out of her torpor she had momentarily fallen in. Very aware of her surroundings, Louise let out a simple grunt and whipped around. In three heavy, angry strides she returned to the kitchen as if she was running away from the devil. "You have a visitor," Lou announced in a harsh tone, and sank down on a chair.
Rachel frowned questioningly, but Lou never even saw her expression since she was staring blankly ahead, her chin resting on her flexed arms on top of the table. The former station mistress wiped her daughter's mouth with her bib, and untied it from around her neck. "Keep an eye on Louise, Lou."
The young woman nodded, and Rachel walked to the front door. Her feet stopped dead for a second in surprise when she finally spotted her visitor at the threshold of her door. "Kid…" she exhaled, her tone leaving no doubts about her frame of mind.
"I'm sorry to show up unannounced," he apologized sheepishly. "I wasn't sure if I could make it until the last minute."
Rachel took a few steps closer, and said, "You don't need to apologize." With Kid here things would turn out to be quite interesting, to say the least. The two of them had not seen each other since Kid had returned from war and Rachel could guess the encounter would not be a bed of roses. "Please come in. You're staying for dinner, ain't you?"
"I… I don't want to cause any inconvenience with… with your guest," Kid replied morosely, realizing that he had chosen the worst possible moment to turn up. Lou's reaction just now told him that she had not changed, and her opinion remained the same.
"Nonsense!" Rachel exclaimed, flapping her hand in a disregarding manner. "You won't walk out on me now. You'll stay, and I won't have no for an answer." Despite her words, the former station mistress knew that dinner would be a hard bite to chew because Louise was clearly in the same strange mood that she knew so well. That was the reason why Rachel almost jumped in relief when she saw Teaspoon coming up to the house after dropping by the jailhouse for a while. Rachel just felt unable to endure a night with the pair all alone, and the marshal appeared as if he were her savior.
As expected, the marshal welcomed Kid warmly, and after joining in a hug, the two men followed Rachel, who had returned to the house already. The Southerner could not help but chuckle when Teaspoon let out one of his very particular quips. Yet, once he walked into the house, his mirth died as soon as he noticed Lou and her very stiff, hostile pose. She was sitting on a sofa in the living room, her arms crossed over her chest, her firey eyes shining provocatively, and her mouth pursed into a scowl.
Kid's feet halted, and remained rooted on the spot. Like he had told Rachel, he had been unable to make up his mind whether to come to Rock Creek until the last minute. In his last visit ten days ago Jimmy had told him that Lou would probably join the celebration. That had initially put him off because he could guess what would happen between him and Lou. On the other hand, the idea of seeing her pushed him. It was high time they saw each other and talked for once and all, instead of playing hide and seek as they had done until now. So this latter argument had won him over, and here he was.
Lou's initial reaction to his presence, though expected, did not augur well. This was actually the first time he was in the same room, under the same roof as her in too many years, and all he wanted to do right now was to run away. Lou's silence and icy demeanor made him feel too small and inadequate, and he wished he could vanish into thin air because that was not far from the reality he lived in himself.
A gurgle nearby drew his attention away from his thoughts and the upset women. As his blue eyes fell on the baby in Rachel's arms, his mouth stretched into a smile which lit his features. "Rachel, this young lady has grown up so much since I last saw her. It's amazing."
Her mother nodded with a proud smile. Without uttering a word, Kid made a request, and Rachel granted her permission, so the young man took the baby from her mother. The woman excused herself to finish dinner, and Teaspoon volunteered to give her a hand, leaving the two former riders alone in the sole company of the baby as a chaperone.
Kid took a seat on the sofa across from Louise, resting the baby on his lap. From her sitting position, Lou watched him with narrow eyes. Kid kept talking sweet-nothings to the toddler, cooing and even playing with her, and the child giggled in the natural, beautiful way only children are capable of. As Louise kept eyeing them, she felt moved and angered at the same time. The image of Kid and the baby was beautiful and touching, but it also stirred too much indignation and regret in her heart. This man before her very eyes had stolen her chance to be a woman and a mother, and have a real family. What the hell was he doing now? What was this intentional display of his charms with the baby? Was he just gloating over her misery, her loneliness?
Lou breathed in to control her soaring fury that escalated by the minute. She was seething, and totally jealous. Yes, jealous. Kid had known Baby Louise before she had the chance to do so, and apparently he had visited Rock Creek whenever he liked while she lived in exile. It was so unfair! She had chosen that voluntary exile, but even so, it was not fair!
Her eyes did not move away from him, but if he noticed, he did not let on since his attention was totally focused on the giggling baby on his lap. Lou was surprised by how well he handled the child, and as the thought entered her mind, she was assaulted by another idea. Maybe Kid was a father himself, and that was why he looked so natural with Baby Louise. Rachel had not said a word to her, but in fact, they never talked about Kid as Lou tried to avoid mentioning him at all costs. In any case, if that was true, it shouldn't surprise her, and she shouldn't care if he had got one of his lovers pregnant. What should she expect from someone like him? Yet, deep down she knew she did care, and the idea clearly upset her more than she was ready to admit.
Almost reading her thoughts, Teaspoon stepped back into the living room and answered her curiosity. "Kid, if you like children that much, you should consider fatherhood," the marshal remarked pointedly. He knew that his words touched a raw nerve, but he was actually provoking some kind of reaction.
Kid's eyes automatically darted to Louise. She blushed at being caught eyeing him, and averted her gaze immediately. "Uh… maybe one day," Kid muttered awkwardly.
"In the meantime let's fill our bellies. The lady of the house says dinner's ready."
Lou quickly scurried away to help set the table, unable to sit still any longer, and foreseeing a torturous, long meal ahead. Minutes later they were sitting and enjoying Rachel's cooking. Lou had chosen the seat farthest from where Kid sat, and kept her eyes fixed on her plate. Even though she could not see him, she still could feel his uncomfortable presence. This was what she had dreaded when she had considered whether to come to Rock Creek, and now the experience was proving to be worse than in her imagination. Her appetite was gone, and she simply kept toying with the fork, moving the food in her plate to and fro.
Her attitude was evident to everyone, and even though tense looks were passed, nobody said a word about it. "So, Kid, how are things going?" asked Allan, who had joined them for dinner, and was brave enough to break the ice.
"Slow but steady," replied the Southerner. "The place looks better than when you were there, but it's still nothing much. These years working for Mr. Granger have helped me a lot, and if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have dared to embark on this adventure."
Although Lou kept her eyes downcast, her curiosity instantly perked up, wondering what Kid was talking about. She had no idea what he had been doing in the years after the war, because she had not wanted to know or even think about him.
"If someone can do it, it's you," Rachel said encouragingly.
"Few people know more about horses than ya," Teaspoon added.
"It's hard work, but I hope it'll eventually pay off," Kid replay. "Having my own ranch was always my dream, and…" His voice faltered, and he did not dare to say that the dream was dented because a part of that dream was missing. Kid's eyes glimpsed at Lou, and he let out a silent sigh.
Louise almost cringed when she heard him talk about him having his own ranch. When they had first got married, they had talked at length that one day they would own a nice piece of land and raise horses. The plan was to save enough for a couple of years, and then do it. Yet, he had ruined everything when he decided she did not count in those plans.
Strangely she could feel his gaze on her, so Lou dared to slightly lift her eyes that stumbled upon his. Almost as if looking at each other burned their skin, they both glanced away simultaneously. The conversation then moved onto other topics, especially about the celebration that was to take place in the following days. Apparently, Tompkins had organized some kind of competition in which the former Pony Express riders had to test their abilities against anybody from town who was ready to enter the challenge. It seemed that the local people were eager to join and prove their abilities against Buffalo Bill and Wild Bill Hickok. Even though Jimmy, who was supposedly on his way back after delivering a prisoner, was nothing but another deputy in town, his reputation had not diminished over the years, and was a magnet for badly-reputed men.
Louise did not say a word over the whole conversation, and Kid kept his words to the minimum. When Rachel was about to serve her lusted-after apple cake, the Southerner declined politely. He could not stay longer than necessary, and it was clear that his presence was making everybody uncomfortable. Lou couldn't wait for him to go, and once he would, the others would also feel a clear sense of relief.
"You're leaving already?" Rachel asked in a shrill, unhappy tone.
"I'm… I'm tired," Kid excused himself. "I've been riding all the way. I ain't so young anymore, nor am I used to riding so much."
"Where are you staying?" asked Allan.
"I still need to get myself a room at the hotel."
"I wish you could stay in the bunkhouse like you've done other times," Rachel stepped in, "but we have prepared it for Buck, Julia, and the children, and they are quite a troupe."
"It's fine, Rachel." Kid replied.
Then to everybody's surprise, Teaspoon suggested something. "Why don't ya stay at your place these days?"
For almost the first time during the whole night Louise lifted her eyes, and stared at the marshal as if he had lost his marbles. "Teaspoon!"
"What? That house is also his, ain't it?" the old marshal started, looking into the young woman's eyes purposefully. "Or are you plannin' on sleepin' there yourself?"
"No, but…"
"But what?" Teaspoon urged her. Lou's strident silence all through dinner had peeved him too much because her attitude was beyond reason. She had no right to stay angry in that childish way after so many years. Maybe his suggestion was too blunt a provocation, but at least it had pushed her to talk for the first time that night.
Before Lou could reply, the Southerner broke off. "I don't think it's a good idea."
"You too, Kid?" Teaspoon added in an impatient tone. "That house's been closed and unused for too long. Don't tell me you'd be more comfortable in a small hotel room than in your own place?" Kid hesitated, and the marshal turned to the young woman. "Say somethin', Lou."
"I have no objections," she replied surprisingly. "If he can claim he has a clean conscience, then I have nothing to say against it."
"Lou! For goodness' sake!" Rachel exclaimed.
Louise proudly held his hard eyes to him, and it was Kid who finally broke her provoking gaze. "Rachel, thanks for dinner. I better get going. With a bit of luck there'll still be rooms left and I won't have to sleep under the stars."
"Hold on, son. "I'll walk with you to town. I need to stop by the jailhouse and check on my deputies."
Kid politely bid goodbye to Rachel and her husband, and without sparing a single look in Lou's direction, he and Teaspoon left, closing the door behind. The sound reverberated in the room for a few seconds, and Lou still held her head high and proud.