Matthew woke peacefully the next morning. he didn't even open his eyes. just grabbed on the side table for his glasses. he didn't remember taking them off. his finger close around them and her slipped them on over his ears. he took a deep breath in and opened his eyes. he then screamed.

Large blue eyes, a dopey smile and a mope of gold hair was peeking over the smile of his bed

"Mattie! you're up! fuck yeah! lets go get burgers, and ice cream, and hang out all day avoiding those fucking commies! It'll be epic broski!"

Matt was staring in shock. he sat up and looked down. he was in pajamas. "Did you undress me?!"

"Well yeah! couldn't let my best hat fall asleep in a suit!"

Matt groaned and dug the heel of his palms into his eyes. "This is not happening... wait... how the hell did you get in?!"

There was a loud knock on the door. "Matthew dear! It's your father! I made you breakfast in bed~! "

"are you trying to kill him rosbif!"

"shut up you frog! my cooking isn't that bad!"

bickering continued outside the door when he heard a creak from the window. Russia was climbing in

"Good morning Mattvy! come be one with Russia da? "

"god dammit! I forgot to move the ladder! no commie!"

Al ran over and kicked Ivan in the face sending him tumbling to the ground below.

Matt bolted out of the bed grabbing his jacket and shoving his arms into it. this was not happening. he ripped his door open pushing past the small crowd of bickering nations that had gathered. he had to pull of of the hands that grabbed his clothing.

"holy maple! This is insane! "

He ran down the corridor thankful that he was at least fast if not as strong as some of the nations who were now on his heels. he rounded a corner and was running looking for someplace to hide when he was yanked into a room and thrown the the floor.

His eyes wide and he back crawled as the blonde women locked the door. Belarus... she was on him with her knife to his throat in no time. "We're going to get married Canada. aren't you so happy?"

her voice was sweet and her eyes smiling. though, the smile was disturbing and the steel blade discomforting. "uhhh umm I..." the door behind them was kicked open.

"Germany?!" Matthew's mouth gaped open as a bullet was fired at the women on top of him. she moved and the bullet buried it's self in the floor next to Matt's head. he whimpered.

World tumbling the tall blonde who both saved him and almost killed him slung him over his shoulder and ran down the hall . Matts head whipped around, no other nations in sight.

until.. red eyes... Prussia flanked by France and Spain stood at the end of the hall

"Give him to me bruder! "

"unhand mon bebe!"

"oooh he's as cute as a tomato! let go of the tomato!"

Germany fired his gun at them.

"maple tree! Germany! that's your brother what the holy roman empire?!"

Matt wiggled and was dropped as bullets started flying through the air. beaver tails... he just wanted to be seen... this was turning into world war three... he crawled around the corner and found an open utility closet. quickly ducking inside he locked it.

His eyes scanned, he was alone... no windows. okay.. he felt the pocket of his coat finding the leather bound book. thank heavens...

He flipped through the book until he found it. page 345. okay here was the spell... whats the counter spell! he found it on 346 along with a warning scrawled in the margin in Arthur's neat writting. "the effects of this spell may be more intense then intended."

No shit Sherlock.

okay... spell... he had no wand.. dammit. his had been blown to bits... wait. did he need one?! Arthur did this with his hands before! putting the book down he flinched as pounding started on the door.

"Mattie! are you in there! my GPS says you are! let me in! I'll protect you! I'll make you my 51st state! then no one can touch you ever and you can live in my house and we'll get married!"

oh maple no...

Putting the book in front of him he took a deep breath

"chameleons shimmer, moonlight shine, take whats seen from thine eye."

nothing... nothing?! what the fuck!

The door was cracking.

"Let us in Mattie!"

oh god he was going to die.. he was going to be ripped to pieces... he buried his head in his hands and rocked back and forth. fighting and declarations of war cried out behind him.

"chameleons shimmer, moonlight shine, take whats seen from thine eye" he repeated over and over. he felt so... sleepy... death would be better if he wasn't awake for it.

blackness.

Matt opened his eyes. he was in bed? his bed! he was home! how?!

he grabbed his phone. the meeting... it was today.. it... it was all a dream!

"Oh thank the maple gods..."

he cried happily into his hands.

Nervously the blonde nation entered the conference room. no one looked up. no one noticed. Russia sat on him, again, the whole meeting he wasn't called on at all. He ate lunch alone. ran away from Cuba who thought he was America before the meeting restarted. After the meeting no one even bid him goodbye.

He took a long relieved sigh. maybe being unnoticed wasn't the worst thing in the world.

"Hey birdie!"

Gils arm slung around his shoulder and he froze in terror. his head whipped around. no one else was looking. he sighed "hey Gil."

"You know birdie, It kinda annoys me that those losers don't pay attention to you! so unawesome..."

"you know Gil, I don't really think I mind. Besides, at least I have someone awesome who sees me right?"

"haha! yeah you do! hey, speaking of awesome, can you make some pancakes?"

"sure Gil" he smiled fondly at his friend as they headed back to the hotel.

end!

okay! that's it! my lame attempt at comedy. ahhh it sucked. Now I'm going to focus more on "I Will Always Return". I hope some of you enjoyed it!