Hey! Here's a nice long chapter for you guys to make up for lost time. A lot of you have been saying this and I agree, there should be a more substantial reason Chandler ran away than just cold feet, and all I can say is, well you'll just have to keep reading. Your reviews keep me inspired! Thank you so much!

Still don't own Friends...

Monica pressed her ear up against the door, straining to soak up every word that was being shouted out in the living room. She could hear Rachel breaking out into another rage fit, Phoebe choking back soft tears, Chandler blubbering out words that barely made sense, and Joey trying to keep up with it all. She knew Ross was still at work, but it wouldn't be long till he was back for his lunch break.

After several long minutes, she pulled herself away and slumped down onto the floor. Why was she forcing herself to listen to them? Did they even know she was here? It didn't matter. She vowed to herself at that moment that she was not leaving this room for as long as she lived.

She closed her eyes. Bit her lip. Let the tears fall.

"Monica?" She heard the soft call of Phoebe's voice from outside the door. She didn't reply, didn't even open her mouth. "Please open the door." Monica then straightened up and stumbled into bed. She heard more and more pleads from the living room, but she ignored them. Why did she have to answer them? If Chandler wanted to talk to her so badly he had the ability to walk into the room. Eventually Phoebe gave up and silence coated the whole apartment. Through the cracks in the doorframe, she saw the lights go off in the living room, and knew she was utterly alone. Sunlight streamed in from the window, and she watched it as it slowly, oh so slowly lowered in the sky, and sank into the New York City skyline.

She looked at the clock, 8:14. Still no sign of life from the living room, and for some reason that irritated her. Did no one care enough to come see if she was okay? She sighed and gave up on her vow. She poked her head out into the living room and saw it was as empty as it was dark. She slinked her way across the room and stepped out into the hall, still no sign of life. She turned around and reentered her apartment, which now seemed to be deprived of all oxygen.

She decided to stretch out on the balcony. As she leaned back in the plastic recliner out on the deck, she breathed in the bittersweet New York scent. A cool breeze ruffled her hair, much too cold for spring. But she was numb to the cold, despite the fact she was wearing nothing but a tank top and pajama shorts. Goosebumps exploded across her legs, and spikes of hair began poking up from her newly waxed legs. She closed her eyes which were now bloodshot from all her shed tears.

Images began forming behind her eyelids; a wedding ring, bright blue sapphires glinting in the light, a long aisle, black suites and white dresses, melting together into a pool of gray. Then, a big black raven exploding out of the sky, rocketing through the clouds, screeching; diving in and out of the gray sea. And try as she might, she couldn't shake the image from her head.

"Hey." Monica was stirred from her dream as Ross climbed through the window.

"Hey." She said, her voice awkwardly raspy.

"I uh, had a little run-in with Chandler. I think her learned his lesson. Never mess with a master of unagi." Ross boasted with a pathetic smile, sitting on the plastic chair next to her.

Monica made a noise that was a mixture of a groan and a laugh. A million memories fluttered through her mind, the Valentine's Day Chandler had given her that mix tape Janice had made. She sighed. "I bet you did."

It was silent for a long time. The topic they both knew they had to discuss was looming over their heads, but neither wanted to initiate the conversation. Finally, Ross spoke, his tone solemn. "Monica, he really misses you."

Monica scoffed. "Oh great, another sob story from Mr. 3 Divorces."

"Well, ow." Ross said, obviously stung by that last snap.

Monica remained silent. She felt like apologizing, by why bother? "Ross, it's just been really, really rough. I mean, you understand, right? Remember after you said Rachel at your wedding and Emily just disappeared and you had no idea where she went? You just knew she was avoiding you. It's like that."

"Well in that case," Ross said, "You might want this." He grinned sheepishly as he pulled a bottle of Pepto Bismal from his pocket and handed it to her. She smiled weakly but said no thanks. She let out a yawn and stretched back further in her chair. Ross reached over and rubbed her shoulder. "It'll get better Mon, I promise."

"Yeah, but when is everyone gonna stop just 'promising' and actually do something for a change." She snapped, getting up and marching over to the edge, resting her arms on the cement wall.

"Monica, Chandler's wrong, I'm not saying he isn't, but everyone makes mistakes and—"

"Mistakes? Ross, running out on your wedding isn't a mistake! It's a statement, a total douche move and completely purposeful! That's not a mistake in my book."

"Ok, ok, so he didn't make a mistake. He acted like a total jerk, but that doesn't mean he can't feel bad! Or want to do anything to make it up to you!"

Monica shot him a dirty look, staring right into eyes. "Chandler set you up for this, didn't he?" She said in a flat tone. "Didn't he?" She hissed through gritted teeth.

"Well, he just—"

"Ross I want you to leave. Please. I want to be alone. Just please. Leave." She barked, burying her face in her arms. He didn't even bother to fight it, growing up with Monica gave him enough knowledge to know when she wasn't kidding around. He exited through the window and stepped out into the hall, where Chandler was waiting.

Ross opened his mouth, but one mournful stare and a sigh said enough.

"I guess I don't blame her." Chandler whispered. He buried his face in his hands. "I don't even know what to think at this point. I mean, am I really stupid for thinking we could work this out?" Ross didn't reply. His mind was swamped. This was his best friend, but could he really believe what he did? Was he just a horrible person for not forgiving him? Chandler sighed. "I guess so."

As everyone but Chandler retreated to their normal bedrooms that night, a strange sense seemed to surround them all. This was not a usual night in Manhattan. Would there ever be one again?

~.~

Chandler groaned as he rolled onto his stomach, his back aching. He rubbed his eyes and checked the wall clock, it was almost 7 in the morning. He heard movement from the bathroom and knew Ross was up too. It had been a week since he had returned home and he had yet to see Monica. The first two nights he had stayed at a hotel, but Phoebe, the only one he had talked to, had given in and let him sleep on her couch for a while. After two more nights there, she complained so much of his snoring he was out on his own again, till Ross finally loosened up and offered his apartment.

They didn't converse at all, even when they were in the same room. They pretended not to notice each other, but sometimes Chandler wondered if Ross wanted to talk to him as much he longed to talk to Ross.

But above all else, he just wanted to talk to Monica again. Even for a minute, even as friends, he didn't want an argument, he just wanted to hear her sweet, melodic voice. He gazed through the window and saw the blinds on his old apartment still drawn shut. He heard a door open and close and turned his head to see Ross emerge from the bathroom, looking down, obviously avoiding Chandler's gaze.

"Ross." Chandler blurted out before he could stop himself. Ross jumped, looking startled. This was the first word they'd exchanged in days. They seemed to just stare at each other for a moment before Chandler spoke again. "Where are you going today?"

Ross visibly gulped and then, looking nervous, replied "Central Perk, I guess. Then I gotta go pick up Ben."

"Can you say hi to Monica for me?" Chandler burst out the question he'd been wanting to ask someone all week.

The corners of Ross' mouth pricked up to form a small smile before he said, "I think she would rather hear it from you."

"Why? Does she talk about me?" Chandler questioned, his heart lifting. Was there hope? But the painful gleam in Ross' eyes made it evident.

"About as much as you've been talking about her." He replied, and exited the apartment before Chandler could ask any more questions. He slumped over on the couch. About as much as you've been talking about her. Had he even been talking about her? Thinking about her, of course, all day long, but actually talking?

But one statement Ross had made was enough to force Chandler off the couch and out of the apartment; I think she would rather hear it from you. Every step became easier, like he was relearning something so powerful. He strode right out the building and across the street, stopping right outside the doors of Central Perk. He peered inside, his heart swelling. Ross, Rachel and Monica were sitting side by side on the orange couch, Joey on the chair near the counter. Joey's jaw was flapping up and down, up and down, blabbering on about something he couldn't decipher. He saw Rachel lean over the back of the couch to order a new cup of coffee from Gunther. Ross shaking his head at whatever Joey was saying, and Monica running her fingers through her perfect hair, tilting her head backwards, the way she did when she laughed.

His whole internal system was bubbling with adrenaline, but that's what pushed him forward to opening the door and stepping inside. The familiar aroma of espresso and muffins warmed his nostrils, making him realize how hungry he was. He stumbled over to the counter, his back purposely turned towards his friends and ordered a lemon poppyseed muffin. When the waitress handed it to him over the counter, he then realized how nervous he was. His muscles froze for a split second, and then whipped around to face everyone.

He could feel his cheeks turn scarlet as all four friends looked right at him. Why the hell did I come here? Thoughts raced through Chandler's mind but his legs seemed superglued in place. Monica cleared her throat and said "Well, I've got a lot work to do, so, I'll see you guys tonight." And promptly stood and turned to leave. But as she strolled past Chandler, her foot caught on the corner of the couch and she fell forward. Chandler reached out and caught her and pulled her up. His arms were clutching her armpits, her hands delicately holding onto his elbows.

For what seemed like an eternity and only a nanosecond, they stared directly into each others eyes. Her bright blue eyes, full of love, brokenness. "S-sorry." He stammered.

And then, just like that, she slipped away; out of his grasp. He was left standing there, staring with teary eyes at where she had just stood, where he had, just for a moment, experienced a taste of heaven.

As Monica left the coffee shop, she couldn't think straight. Her arms were still tingling from where he had held her. The look of his eyes, his broken, blue eyes, was burned into her mind. And maybe, just maybe he had held onto her for a second longer than necessary.

He really misses you, Monica. Memories of the past week came flooding through the cracked gates she had kept sealed. …Doesn't mean he can't feel bad! Or want to do anything to make it up to you. Whether he felt bad or not, she wasn't forgiving him. Not just yet.

She was done being played with, done being just another girl. If Chandler couldn't realize that, then, then… Then what? She couldn't even begin to imagine her life without Chandler. Pretty soon she realized she had wandered about 10 blocks north of the apartment and had no idea where she was.

The air was warm and thick. She felt beads of sweat rolling down her forehead and wiped them with the back of her hand. She had to get out of this heat. She quickly stepped into the next diner she saw, The Blue Moon Café. She sat down at a booth and ordered an ice water. The café was mostly empty, except for a few waiters and a man sitting a few tables down. His head was bent down, so all she could see of him was his slicked back black hair and tan skin.

"Here's your water ma'am." The olive skin waiter said, setting down a glass on the table. Monica thanked him and eagerly downed the drink, but she kept peering back at the man. He seemed eerily familiar…

"Richard?" She called out quizzically, half hoping he wouldn't answer.

The man looked up, and smiled widely, his mustache flexing. "Hey Monica! Mind if I join you?"

"Of course." She smiled, already regretting it. Richard stood and moved his plate of fries and a half eaten burger over to her booth and sat down across from her.

"So, Jack told me about you and Chandler. I'm really sorry, Monica."

Monica stayed silent, watching a droplet of water drip down the cup.

"I'm sorry, am I poking into your business? I didn't mean to, I just—"

"It's fine." Monica interrupted, smiling dimly.

"So. What brings you to this part of town?"

Monica slumped further down in her seat. Did she have an answer for anything? "Just wandering."

"Well," Richard said. "Quite a coincidence you came here."

"Richard, I'm sorry, it's just… It was last week, and I don't even know where we are, and it's too soon—"

"Woah, no, I'm sorry! I wasn't trying to… yeah. Heh." He chuckled. "I just meant it was nice seeing you. We haven't really talked since…" He trailed off, leaving the ugly memory of Chandler's proposal to rot on the table.

"Yeah." Monica smiled. "It's nice." She drew a smiley face on the table with her fingers and the water dripping of her cup. "Um, Richard, I should really go. It was nice talking to you, it really was." She nodded as she stood up.

"Right, well maybe we could catch up sometime." He replied, tossing a few dollars on the table and standing next to her.

"That'd… Be nice." She answered. Exiting the café, she felt even more weight pulling her down now. What had she done? Making a date with Richard? It felt as if life were pulling her backwards.

~.~

"So Rachel, I never really got to ask, when did this whole baby thing happen?" Chandler asked. Ross and Joey had left soon after Monica, leaving Chandler and Rachel alone in Central Perk.

Rachel sighed. "I guess I knew this was coming up… Well about a month ago—"

"Hey guys!" Phoebe called from behind them, skipping over and sitting down on one of the chairs.

"Hey Pheebs." They chorused.

"So what are we talking about?" Phoebe inquired. Chandler glanced at Rachel, who seemed to be growing more uncomfortable by the minute.

"I was just talking about the baby." She said slowly. "And how I should tell everyone, especially Ross."

"Wait, you still haven't told anyone?" Chandler whisper-shouted. He had been so absent from the group this week, one of them could have died and he wouldn't have known.

"No!" Rachel squealed.

"Well you can't keep this up much longer, it's going to be pretty obvious soon." Phoebe said.

"I know! But, like I said, no one needs to know until I tell Ross. Please, guys." Rachel whined.

"So how are you going to tell him?" Chandler asked. It felt really nice to be part of a conversation amongst his friends again.

"I think I'm just going to come right out and say that he's a father and he can be as involved as he wants. I mean, that's not too harsh, right?"

"That sounds pretty good… When are you going to do it?" Phoebe questioned.

"Well, I don't want to put this off much longer, but I want to make sure he's in a good mood when I tell him. Does this Sunday night sound good? After he drops off Ben he's always pretty happy…"

"Sounds good to me." Chandler agreed. "Do you think I should… maybe talk to Monica then?" Rachel and Phoebe snapped their heads up, obviously startled. "Well, if it's too soon… But we are going to have to talk again. I mean, right?" The silence that followed made it clear Chandler shouldn't have brought up the topic.

"Chandler you should talk to Monica when it feels right, but just…" Rachel trailed off, leaving Phoebe to pick it up.

"Don't expect too much in return. Friendship wise, you probably can patch things up. But, she might not be ready to dive right back into a relationship."

"I know," Chandler said. "I just don't want to leave things in a bad place with her. It's like you and Ross, I mean, you guys are still good friends."

"Yeah, reeeeeal good friends." Phoebe laughed, winking at Rachel.

As Chandler left the coffeeshop, he couldn't help but feel a lot better about himself. Maybe he could patch up his old life. Maybe he could deal with just being friends with Monica. Maybe, just maybe, he could hold her one more time…