Your Highness

Summary: After an emotional night of revealing secrets, and a bit of deflowering, Dwalin, and Fili find themselves in a love affair that defies all customs, and traditions of their people, let alone the royal family. Will Fili finally be able to break the chains of his birthright, or will tradition hold it's place above the matters of the heart? (DwalinXFili)

Chapter 4: Waiting

Fili awoke feeling warm and comfortable, he had his arms wrapped around this form that smelled of Dwalin, but as the sleep fell away from him, he realized it was hollow and shapeless, not breathing. He opened his eyes, and found the form he was holding to be Dwalin's large overcoat. He sat up quickly, and looked around. The home was empty, except for him, and there was dull golden light coming in from the window. He stood slowly, and walked into the living area. The fire was burning lowly. It had obviously been fixed not long ago. There was no sign of Dwalin, but based on the light outside, Fili knew he was already gone. He cursed himself for sleeping in, yet again, and missing his departure. He walked back into the bedroom, and dressed slowly.

He couldn't help but feel a bit abandoned. He knew that Dwalin was fulfilling a duty to Thorin, and an important one. In fact, Fili couldn't think of anyone better for the task. However, he felt very alone now, and he knew it wouldn't go away until Dwalin returned. He felt like he had already reverted back to the state before Dwalin had pulled him back from that balcony.

He looked at Dwalin's coat lying on the bed. It made him smile to think that he had left it for him, but at the same time, he worried. Winter was upon them, and everyday it was growing colder... and if it snowed... He cursed every wish he'd made for it. He changed, realizing he would have to go back to his room and do so again. Almost without thinking, he grabbed Dwalin's coat and slipped it on. It was too big for him. He had to clasp the sleeves with this fingers to keep them above his hands. He knew he must look ridiculous. He took it off, and held it for a moment before tossing it back onto the bed.

He searched the room for his own coat, not sure where it had ended up the night before. When he didn't find it in the bedroom, he looked through the rest of the home, even checking the pantry, which he knew was ludicrous. He placed his hands on hips and huffed. Where could it be? Then he turned toward the door, and stopped short, seeing his coat hanging properly on a hook by the door. Fili shook his head.

Get yourself together, Fili...

He put his coat on, and made sure that the fire was out completely. Then he slipped out, thankful that Dwalin's home was deep within the halls, and away from most everything. Unlike his room, which was in the middle of everything. He made his way there, running into no one he really knew by name except for some of the regular guards. He despised the way everyone straightened their posture, and greeted him so mechanically. Well, that wasn't really fair. Their greeting may have been automatic, but they were bright and sincere, for Fili was very well liked among his people.

He made it to his room, and changed. A red tunic with gold lining, and designs. Black pants and boots. He was feeling a bit ... well, he wasn't sure what it was that made him choose the black leather belt with a whole ruby adorning the buckle. He made sure that his braids were neat, and done, and then walked out. He wondered if he should get some breakfast, although he wasn't hungry at all. He hadn't been eating like he should, and he wondered if it was attributing to his new sluggish way.

"Nadad! There you are!" He turned and Kili was jogging up to him. "Come eat with me. We have been apart for days, it seems."

Fili smiled at him and decided he could at least try to eat. The brothers walked together, at first in silence, then Kili started: "Are you excited for your birthday celebration?"

"Master Bombur said he was making a special cake. I'm sure it will be wonderful."

"It would be, though I'm certain it will be riddled with strawberries." Kili made a face. Filli knew he didn't like strawberries.

"You can eat the cake without the strawberries."

"It's your cake, anyway, Nadad."

"It's for everyone. It's just being made because of my birthday."

"Oh, hush! Your nobility is sickening sometimes." But Fili knew he was teasing.

They walked into the kitchen, and was greeted heartily by Bombur, and had a pleasant, laughter filled breakfast in the kitchen. Just as they were finishing their last mugs of ale, Fili found himself thinking of their meeting the other night, and the more he recalled, the more he wondered what his little brother had been doing out, alone, walking by the drawbridge late at night. Of course Fili had been there, also, but he, also, wasn't sixty-three.

"So, are you going to tell me where you were last night?"

"When?" Kili said, but Fili knew that was his defense to being asked an awkward question. It gave him more time to think of an appropriate response.

"Last night, when we met at the drawbridge. Surely you remember?"

Kili knew he was calling him out on his defense. "Nowhere, really. Just... walking around."

"You're a bad liar, Nadadith."

Kili took a drink, and Fili found himself feeling kind of bad. He was struggling to think of something to say, and he looked sincerely worried. He hated to see that look on his brother's normally smiling face. "Fili..." He started, then had to pause again, "Can't we just... leave this as one of those things we don't have to talk about?" He gave a nervous laugh at the end.

Normally, Fili would never agree to such a thing, with it being so obviously shady, but given the recent situations he'd found himself in, if he had to request the same of Kili, he would certainly hope his brother would understand. "Fine." He said, trying his best to sound disapproving, "You just be careful, Nadith."

Kili smiled at his brother, and nodded. Fili saw him relax, but he wondered if he was making the right choice. He finished off his ale, and stood with a stretch. He had nowhere to go, but for some reason, he felt rushed, and restless. He gave a quick goodbye to Kili, and Bombur, and made his way out.

He wondered around for a bit, avoiding the drawbridge, and the balconies, just like he'd promised, and found himself, standing outside the Great Hall. There were servants bustling around, making flower arrangements of yellow roses, and cutting blue and yellow ribbon. He knew they were preparing for his birthday celebration, set to be held on his birthday, eight days from then. He watched them as they moved, thinking that it was going to be some grand event, considering they were already decorating. Of course, their birthdays always were, their mother made sure.

"Do you like it?" Thorin's voice was quiet, trying not to startle his nephew.

"Of course. I'm sure it will look beautiful." When he turned to look at his uncle, he couldn't help but notice the bags under his eyes. He looked very tired, and his posture showed it, too. "And you said I needed rest." He lifted his hand up and ran his thumb under Thorin's eye.

"I'll be alright. I'll retire early tonight. I had to attend to matters with Odin."

"What do you mean?"

"This morning he became very upset. The guard sent for Dwalin, but since he has already departed for the Ivory Hills" He said it as if Fili was unaware, "I attended him myself."

"What was he upset about? Did he finally realize what he's being accused of?"

"Well, no." Thorin kind of shook his head, and sounded as surprised as anyone would be. "He was upset because he couldn't tell the time for having no window, and also, he wanted to speak with you. When I told him that was out of the question, he became even more angry. I left him there to destroy the room..." He sighed and rubbed his tired looking eyes, "I'll have to have it repaired..."

"Why does he want to speak with me?"

"I asked him, but he said that was between the two of you. Nothing out of the ordinary happened when you were with him, am I correct?"

"Nothing besides him being rude. I'll admit I got rude back, but by the time he left, we had both apologized. When he returned from..." What was he even supposed to call it? "The road... he was very polite. Oddly so, but nothing more."

"He seems to think the two of you have something to talk about."

"Then I'll go see what he has to say."

"I don't think that's wise."

"I don't have to go alone."

"And if he won't speak to you with a witness?"

"Then he'll loose his chance. He might tell me something that will help our case against him, or maybe even prove his innocence, though I doubt that."

"I believe him to be dangerous, if not completely mad."

"I'll have Master Dw..." Fili trailed off, remembering then, that he could not have Dwalin go with him. "Or maybe you could."

Thorin looked at his nephew and sighed deeply, but he could see him giving in hesitantly. "I don't like this."

Fili started walking and Thorin followed. "Please, Uncle. I can tell by his hands, he's never even lifted a hammer, let alone a sword."

"Tell that to his father."

Fili wanted to scoff, but he was right. Unfit, or not, he had managed to lift a sword to his own father, and take his life. If he got the chance, who's to say he wouldn't do the same to Fili? As they walked, Thorin made sure the seethe of the small sword he always carried, was unhooked and ready. Fili also had a few daggers, tucked into his coat. They reached the door, and Thorin didn't knock before entering.

Odin was moving around the room fluidly, picking up all the things he had knocked down before. He smiled, and Thorin, but it grew immensely when he saw Fili behind him. "Your Majesty." He bowed to Thorin, "And your highness." He bowed even lower to Fili.

"You wanted to speak with me?" Fili said, trying not to sound as calm as possible, but Odin just simply gave him the creeps.

"Yes, Thank you. Your Majesty, if you would excuse us please."

Thorin was about to speak but Fili beat him to it: "Anything you can say to me, you can say in front of my Uncle. Also, he is our king, and you will not excuse him."

Odin gave Fili as smile, as if he were proud of him, and bowed yet again. "I beg your pardon, Majesties. No disrespect meant. To my embarrassment, though, I admit that this is a bit of a personal matter, and I would like to speak to Fili alone for privacy sake. Please."

Fili turned to Thorin, and could tell he had no intention of going anywhere. He decided to try to persuade Odin further to speak with Thorin in the room, but he felt that dark side of him tugging at his morbid curiosity. He turned back: "He can stand by the door, we'll go by the fireplace."

"I just couldn't say it with witness. You are, however, free to tell him as soon as you take leave, but I would really rather have the conversation in confidence."

This time, Fili walked over to Thorin, turned his back on Odin, and spoke low to him: "Stand just outside the door."

"No."

"This could be important."

"You said yourself that he was mad."

"I can handle him, Uncle, and you would hear. Let me do this."

Thorin gave him a look that reminded him of childhood. That fatherly stare as he fought over what to say in his mind. Fili admired the fact that it always seemed to be the perfect thing. Then he let out a loud sigh, half in defeat, half in an attempt to show Fili his disapproval. "Very well. Two minuets, and I'll be just outside." He turned without a word, and Fili could tell the way his boots hesitated at the door, and the guard outside had to close it.

He turned quickly, knowing Thorin would be prompt with his return, if not early. "What is it?"

"Please, sit."

"I prefer to stand. Thank you."

"Suit yourself." Odin walked over and stood at about arms-length to him.

"I trust wholeheartedly, that when my people hear of the misunderstanding..." Fili shuddered at the word, knowing what he was referring to, "That they will send the best of their officials to settle the matter, and knowing my innocence, I am confident that my name will be clear very soon."

"So, you're saying you are innocent? You didn't kill your father?"

"Oh, don't make this official, Master Fili. I said, this was personal."

Fili gave him a suspicious look. "What could you possibly need to speak personally with me about?"

"Well, the fact is..." He paused and for the first time, Fili saw contemplation on his face. "I know that we are close in age. You, sixty-eight, and myself, seventy. Well, given your birthday being close. When is it exactly?"

Fili didn't know if he should answer, but he wanted him to get to the point. "In eight days."

"Splendid." Odin gave him a smile, "My question to you, Prince Fili, is when my name has been cleared, and we have all this mess behind us, would you be willing to..." He paused but Fili felt like it was purposefully stalling, "Accept my hand in courtship?"

Fili felt all regal sensibility about him drop away like a bag of feed hitting a wooden stable floor. Confusion rushed over him, and he could feel his jaw agape, and his eyes wide, but he didn't really try to hide it. "What..?"

"I know it's sudden, but you were so kind to me. More kind than anyone else, and I have just grown a fondness." He smiled again, and Fili knew there was no hiding the new type of shudder that washed over him.

"You can't be serious..."

"Oh, but I am. Absolutely serious." He took a step toward Fili, but he backed up a matching distance.

"I'm not interested in that at all."

Fili saw the same spark of offense he had caused in him the day of their first meeting, and found himself wishing Thorin hadn't gone outside. "And why not? Why shouldn't you?"

"Well... besides the fact that you are on trail for murder, I am not looking for a courtship from anyone, and if I was, it certainly would not be from someone so rude, and arrogant as you. I prefer a dwarf that will see character before class."

Just as Odin started to speak, Thorin opened the door, and walked in, but that did not stop Odin's words, which now loud, and angry: "Character?! You speak of character, yet you judge mine before you have known it. I will not accept that answer, and deny it. We will speak again when my name is clear."

Thorin took a step toward Odin, angry at his tone, but Fili stepped in front of him. "You can not deny my answer. It is no, and that will not change. We have no need to speak again." He turned and left the room, with Thorin behind him.

As the door was being closed, they heard object fly into the walls, and a shrill yell from Odin.

"What did he say to you?" Thorin demanded, but Filli was still trying to wrap his mind around it.

Suddenly, he let out a nervous laugh, and looked at his uncle, a little amused. Thorin returned it with confusion, and stared intently at his nephew. "He asked me... for my hand in courtship?"

"He what?" Thorin's voice was pure shock, and Fili could only remember a few times he'd heard it that way.

"He told me he was sure his name would be cleared because he was innocent, and asked, once it was, if I would have his courtship."

The both looked over at the guard beside the door let a laugh escape, but quickly covered his mouth. Fili couldn't help himself, and had to cover his own mouth as he started to giggle. Thorin didn't look half as amused but, soon, Fili and the guard were giggling together so hard that it caused him to crack a smile. Finally Fili caught his breath and placed a friendly hand on the guard's shoulder before looking back to Thorin.

"Don't trouble yourself about it, Uncle. He's insane. I told him no, and I meant it."

"I don't want you coming around here until he's gone. Do you understand?"

"Yes. Gladly."

...

The days with Dwalin gone were a blur to Fili. He found himself often unable to sleep, and he would often walk the halls alone at night. By the fourth day, he had still kept his promise and stayed off the balconies, and even though he didn't promise, away from the drawbridge. He figured Dwalin had meant the same principal in the promise, and he wanted to keep it.

On the fifth night, however, he felt particularly alone, and that dark voice was unusually loud. He once again started roaming, in the dark of the night, staying to the inner halls, and away from the balconies, but he was drifting. It was cold, and the wind was almost howling. He begged the snow to stay at bay until Dwalin returned, which would be soon... he hoped. As a particularly heavy breeze whipped through the hall, he wished for his coat, which he had left in his room. Then he looked up and saw that he had roamed just around the corner from Dwalin's home.

He walked up to the door, and made no one was around before slipping in. He walked straight to his bed, and found his coat right where he had left it. He picked it up, and put it on. He was pleased to find it still smelled of Dwalin. He wrapped it around him tightly, causing it to overlap from how over sized it was. He lied down on the bed, turning his face into the pillow, and breathing in the scent. He turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling with his hands tucked inside Dwalin's coat. He sighed.

He missed him, and it was growing with each day. That dark voice in his mind kept telling him that something awful had happened and that he was never going to return, or perhaps he was taking his time, enjoying the distance between them. He shook his head and turned to his side, trying to shake the thoughts.

He then found himself thinking of the first night he, well, been lain in the bed he was now resting on, and it made his face grow warm. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying not to get worked up. He pulled his knees up and got a hold of himself. He felt comfortable. Like he belonged there, and that was incredibly rare for him. He felt suddenly like he could sleep, lying there in Dwalin's coat, among his blankets, and belongings. He closed his eyes, and drifted into a light-hearted sleep, wishing he had thought to go there days ago.

...

When Fili woke, a shiver took his instantly. He sat up, and the first thing he saw was his breath. He looked around unsure of where he was for a moment, but then as he started to recall the night, he cursed. Under Dwalin's coat, he was wearing nothing more than his boots, breeches, and robe. He had no clue what time it was, but the light through the window was still low, and thin. He rushed out, unaware he was still wrapped in Dwalin's coat. All he was thinking of was getting back and changing into something decent before someone saw him.

He rushed through the halls, but stopped short as he made it to outside hall. There was white powder, swirling around in the wind, being blown wistfully from the mounds of snow on the balconies. He rushed over, and stopped just before walking onto the snow, and balcony, gasping as he saw the world below them covered in a white blanket. It went on as far as he could see. It was aboslutely beautiful, and breathtaking. He placed a hand on his chest to steady his breathing, and it was then he noticed he was still wrapped in Dwalin's coat.

Then he gasped again. Dwalin's coat... Dwalin's coat! There was easily two feet of snow on the ground, and Dwalin was out there, and here Fili stood wrapped up in his coat when he easily had five more in his wardrobe.

Even though he hadn't asked for it, he felt horrible. He rushed, completely forgetting his attire, to the drawbridge, to see if Dwalin had returned. He rushed down the stairs and addressed the first guard he saw, who was a little taken aback by his outfit.

"Has Master Dwalin returned?"

"Um... No, Sir. Wouldn't be expecting him for a few more days with this kind of weather."

He let out an exasperated sigh, and placed his hands on his hips. He looked up and noticed the guard, doing his best not to, but staring at his clothes. HE realized again how ridiculous he must look, and he felt like a fool. "Um... Thank you..." He said quickly and rushed back up the stairs.

Just as he turned the corner to his room, he saw Kili standing there knocking on his door. He turned.

"Oh, there you are, Nadad. Master Bombur was look... What are you wearing?"

Fili shoved passed him and into his room. "Nothing. What does Master Bombur need?"

"I wouldn't call that nothing." Kili followed him inside. "You look like you just rolled out of bed." He was giggling to himself. "And where'd you get that coat? It's way too big for you."

Fili took it off quickly and tossed it on his bed. "I have to change. What did you need?"

Kili had suppressed his laugh, but not his smile. "Just come to the kitchen when you're decent." He turned and walked out shaking his head at his older brother.

Fili changed, and made sure his outfit was simple, and uninteresting. Tan pants, with matching boots, and a dark green tunic, tied with a simple brown leather belt with no jewels at all. He grabbed his own coat, though he seriously considered wearing Dwalin's regardless of the size. He walked out and headed for the kitchen, cursing himself, once again for being caught in that outfit.

When he arrived, Bombur and Kili were laughing together. Fili walked over and Kili looked him up and down. "Much better." He said.

"Master Fili, I was wondering what you'd be wanting for your birthday supper? It is in two days, you know?"

Fili laughed. "Yes, Master Bomber I know when my birthday is." He teased. "Just make whatever you'd like."

"Oh, that can't be done! 'Tis your day, Master Fili. You must have all your favorites."

"You know my favorites, don't you?"

"But of course! That does tell me which you'd like, though. Unless you'll be wanting all of 'em."

Kili giggled beside them.

"I wouldn't make you work so hard, Master Bombur."

"Whatever you want, Sire. Name it."

Fili tried to think of it, he really did, but his mind was so far away from food. It always was. Finally, he simply gave up. "How about you surprise me? I trust you wholeheartedly. "

Bombur smiled at the idea, and laughed in that way that always made Fili, and Killi, smile. "Consider it done. I won't disappoint you, Master Filli!"

Kili leaned in between them. "Can I just choose for him? I want some of those sweet rolls with the cinnamon!"

"Hush you!" Bombur said and waved at him. "Your birthday will be soon enough!"

Fili laughed at them. "Will you be having breakfast, Your Highnesses?"

"Oh!" Kili said "Yes, some of those sweet biscuits with the butter!" He closed his eyes and smiled, then opened them quickly. "Please!"

"No thank you, Master Bombur. I have business with Thorin."

"Yes, Sir, but you're not eating like you should, Master Fili! Ol' Bombur would know..." He waved the wooden spoon he was holding at him. "I'll be making you lunch."

Fili smiled at the concern and bowed. "And I'll be here to have it. Thank you."

He gave his brother and smile, and headed out, chuckling as Kili immediately started speaking of the biscuits, and Bombur scolded him for leaning all over his counter.

He walked to the Great Hall, but found Thorin was not there. He frowned. He walked out, and looked around for someone who may know where he was. He headed toward the library, remembering what he had said about the letters days earlier, even though Fili knew he was long done with them.

Once he found the library empty as well, he starting heading to the west wing. He wasn't quite sure what made him think to go there, but something in the back of his mind said to, at least, check. As he made it up the stairs and to the hallway where Odin was being kept, he noticed the dwarf stadning guard was the same one he had had his humorous encounter with days before.

He walked over to him, and he immediately stepped in front of the door. "My apologies and begging your pardon, Sire, but by order of the King, I'm afraid I must ask you to go. He does not want..."

"I know, and I understand... What was your name again?"

"Dywn, son of Tywn, Your Highness." He bowed.

"Master Dywn, I'm simply looking for my uncle. Have you seen him?"

"I haven't in a moment, but he was here earlier."

"What for?"

"I'm not sure what for, Sir. Not my job to know details, if you get my meaning. He spoke to Odin, and left. I'd say about half an hour ago."

"Thank you. Oh, and thank you also for helping me to make light of an otherwise unnerving situation."

He could tell Dywn wasn't sure what to say. "I'm begging your pardon for that, as well... I just found it amusing."

"It was."

"The likes of him, thinking he'd have a chance with a prince like yourself. Just made me laugh."

The compliment made him smile, and he was about to resopnd when Dwyn straightened up quickly, and he knew who had entered the hall. He turned and Thorin was striding toward him with a face Fili knew all to well. He was angry, and Fili knew why.

"I though I told you not to come here."

"I was looking for you."

"It doesn't matter what you were doing." He reached out, and took him by the arm, and started leading him down the hallway. Fili pulled just a bit, and Thorin released him.

"I wasn't going in there."

Thorin was silent, and Fili could see him trying to get control of his breathing. It was his way of simmering down. When he finally spoke again, they were walking down the stairs, and his tone was much softer. "I'm sorry. You know why I don't want you there. I don't have to explain it. What was it you needed to see me for?"

"Has there been any word from the Ivory Hills?"

"Dwalin hasn't returned, though I'm certain the snow has slowed them down."

Fili didn't respond. He looked out towards the balconies as they walked, happy that Thorin was in between him and the beautiful ledges. The snow made him cringe. He had changed his opinion of it very fast, and now he found himself agreeing with Dwalin. A mess, indeed.

Thorin stopped and looked down at his nephew. He gave him a soft smile. "Don't worry. He'll be gone soon enough."

"It wasn't really that. I was just..." He trailed off, and he found himself really wanting to talk to Thorin about his secret. He had always been able to talk to Thorin about anything, and it felt wrong to hold it from him, but he knew, deep down, that he wouldn't understand, and it would only serve to hurt himself, and Dwalin. He could never do that. "Just wondering."

Thorin smiled at him. "You should be happy, Fili. Your birthday is but days away, and I promise you it will be a grand celebration. I hear Bombur is making you a cake to rival weddings."

Fili smiled, and it was sincere. "I hope so."

"And you got what you wanted." Thorin said motioning to the balcony behind him, "You've always hoped for snow on your birthday."

Fili couldn't express how much he wished it had skipped this one. "Looks a bit like a mess this time." He confessed.

Thorin smiled at him. "Have you eaten?"

Why is everyone so concerned with how much I eat and sleep?

"Master Bombur said he was preparing lunch for me."

"Very good. I'll join you."

They walked toward the kitchen, and Fili felt so ... walled off, and secretive. Being this way to Thorin was new to him, and he didn't much care for it. He wanted to turn to him, and just spit everything out, and beg him to understand, but could he really take the chance that he wouldn't? Or even if he did, that didn't mean he would approve of it, or allow it. Thorin was regal through, and through, and though he was caring, and wise, he had a certain standard in the way things were to be done, and he had always held everyone, especially Fili, to those standards. Let alone, thanks to Odin, the subject was now a very touchy one.

No, it wasn't the time, and for now, Fili saw no risk in waiting. After all, Dwalin wasn't even there. Thinking this made Fili's heart ache for him. He took one more look at the snow before they disappeared into the kitchen.

...

Every morning and night after that, Fili watched for Dwalin to return from his window in his room. There was a better view of the road, but it just happened to be the very balcony he really needed to stay away from, so he didn't go there. The snow had not let up at all. In fact, Fili saw it flurrying almost constantly. He blamed every flake on his childish request for it, and with every moment Dwalin didn't return, he felt a sinking guilt in his chest.

The morning of his birthday, he awoke with a start to a frantic knock on his door. He stood, and threw on his robe, but when he opened his door. It was only Kili standing there, almost bouncing. "Ênâd-nurt gêdul!" (Happy Birthday) He yelled and practically leaped on him. Fili stumbled, but caught himself, and hugged his brother back. "Hurry! Change! Master Bombur is making sweet biscuits for a special breakfast, and don't say you're not hungry."

Oddly enough, Fili felt like he could go for some breakfast, but he had a matter to attend to first. "I'll meet you there. I need to see Thorin first."

"Fine, fine. Just hurry!" He started walking out of the room, beckoning him with his arm. "Oh!" He whipped around. "I forgot to tell you. Ori returned last night, he rode ahead to tell Thorin that Master Dwalin was escorting someone to speak with him about Odin, and he would be here sometime tomorrow. Maybe we'll be rid of that creep sooner than we though, huh?"

Fili just stared, letting what his brother said sink in. "Tomorrow?"

"Yeah. Good thing, too. Well, see you soon." He turned and walked out.

Fili was frozen. He had a rush of mixed feelings flow through him. Dwalin was alright, and he was on his way back, would arrive tomorrow, in fact, and with someone who would hopefully take Odin far away. The again, the celebration of his birthday was mere hours away, and he wasn't going to be there. The one person Fili actually cared to see on his birthday wasn't going to be there. Just like that, he was dreading it. He would sooner stay locked away in his room than deal with polite pleasantries alone. Of course, even if he could be there, it wouldn't be like Fili wanted.

His feelings were starting to frustrate him, and he finally moved in a huff. It was his birthday, so he had an outfit prepared for him, like always. He walked over to his wardrobe, and pulled it out. He unfolded it on his bed and rolled his eyes. The pants, and boots were normal enough, black except their detail of white thread that swirled down them in an intricate design, but instead of a tunic, it was a cascading blue silk robe with the same swirling white markings that would obviously go down to his ankles. He immediately tossed it to the side.

He slipped on the pants and boots, actually liking them a lot. Then he opened his wardrobe, and dug through it until he came to a silk, white tunic. It had red designs on it that matched his pants well, and he put it on. He grabbed his belt with the large ruby in the center, and placed it tightly around his waist. Then he walked over, and put on a silver and ruby pendant his mother had given him for the birthday before. He sat down in front of the small mirror that adorned his wall, and started doing his braids, his hair smooth, and shining from his bath the night before. He replaced the beads he had with white, and red ones, and was satisfied with his job.

He finally made it out, and started walking to the kitchen. He had no reason to talk to Thorin now. He was just going to ask him if there had been word from Dwalin, using Thorin's suspicion of Odin to his advantage. The halls were bustling with citizens and servants, carrying things, moving furniture, and preparing all of Erebor, it seemed, for his celebration. They all greeted him happily with many good mornings, birthday wishes.

He finally made it to the kitchen, finding Kili, Bombur, and Ori.

"Ênâd-nurt gêdul, Master Fili!" Bombur yelled with that same plump grin he always gave, "Your breakfast awaits you." He motioned over to the table where Kili was sitting, already helping himself. He thanked him, and sat down across from his brother.

"You look nice." Kili said sincerely before sinking into another biscuit.

Fili just smiled at him and grabbed one of his own. They were still warm, and after the first bite, he knew he would eat a few.

"Did you speak to Thorin?"

"Didn't have to. You answered my question."

"Any meal other meal you would like must be had in the dining hall, I'm afraid." Bombur said, running around his kitchen, "I'll be starting your cake soon, and I must not be interrupted!"

"Of course, Master Bombur." Fili said smiling.

"And be sure to keep that one out of here, too!" He pointed at Kili with his spoon, "I can't work with his incessant gabbing!"

"I'm merely interested in your work, my dear Bombur." Kili chimed in, "What's so wrong with that?"

"You're merely interested in keeping me distracted! Finish your breakfast, and be gone with you! Bother me on your birthday!"

Fili laughed at the teasing, and Kili's fake hurt. He was happy for them, and how they were helping his mood, but as he ate, his mind was elsewhere. He thought of Dwalin, and was more than a little upset that would not be attending, and not only selfishly. He would be missing a grand feast, that only seldom comes, and it just felt wrong to Fili. If anyone deserved it, it was Dwalin, not him. He felt absolutely ridiculous having a party just for existing. It felt very unfair to him.

"Oh, Nadad..." Kili said between bites of his biscuit, "Don't look so glum. It's your birthday!"

Fili felt embarrassed that he had let his thoughts play on his face. "I'm not glum." He lied, "Just thinking."

"Well, don't. You have nothing to think about, and no troubles to have, and I'll make sure of it, today!"

Fili grinned at his brother. He had eaten two biscuits, but didn't think he could stomach another.

"Come!" Kili said, jumping up. "Let's leave our dear chef to make your cake, and we'll find someone else to bother."

"As it should be!" Bombur said without looking up from whatever he was stirring, "Keep that brother of yours in check, Master Fili."

"Always." He said, and followed Kili out.

The brothers made their way toward the Great Hall, but Fili wasn't exactly sure where his brother was leading him. Then, just in front of the large golden door, they found Thorin. He smiled lovingly at his nephews. "Ah, good morning." He bowed to them and they returned it. "Ênâd-nurt gêdul, Fili." He placed his hand on the back of his head, and placed their heads together for a moment. Fili smiled at him when he backed up, wishing he could feel as close to him, as he used to.

"Where are you two heading?"

"Outside." Kili answered for them, "I haven't felt the snow yet."

"You both need to dress warmer, but have fun. Today is a happy one. Enjoy it."

Then a guard walked up, and politely interjected their conversation, and said something to Thorin that Fili couldn't hear. Thorin looked up, and his expression had changed a bit, but Fili could tell he wasn't involving them. "Business as usual for me, however. Go get heavier coats before you go out." With that, he turned and followed the guard off.

"Come! I have coats we can wear." Kili turned quickly, but Fili stopped him.

"I have one. I'll meet you by the drawbridge."

Kili nodded to him and rushed off, visibly excited, and Fili couldn't help but feel his heart swell for his brother, and his carefree way. He walked quietly back to his room. He immediately grabbed Dwalin's coat on slipped it on over his. It fit better with his own under it, but he still had to pull the sleeves back a bit. He wrapped his arms around himself, in a vain attempt to feel like Dwalin was there with him. He took a deep breath, and dropped his arms. He wondered how he was going to stand one more night, especially the night of his birthday, away from that dark voice returned, and he found himself concerned that Dwalin may not keep his promise, and he may simply ignore him when he returns. He may be upset that he took his coat from his home, and wore it like it was his own.

Then Dwalin's voice crept into his thoughts. I promise I'll never forget ya... It clouded over the darker one, and Fili felt a warm feeling move over his heart.

Even from where ever he was, Fili felt, somewhere inside him, that Dwalin was sending him love, and good feelings on his birthday. Fili forgave him already for not being there, and all he wanted to do was stand outside the drawbridge and wait for him, but he knew he couldn't. He had to settle for having his coat wrapped around him, keeping him warm and releasing faint hints of his scent when he moved the right way. He guessed, for the time being, anyway, that would have to do.