Chapter 4

Paige

It was Monday morning; Paige was waiting on her porch for Emily to arrive. They'd decided to hit the gym before school started since the weather was too horrible for running and they would have their swim practice after school anyway.

Paige saw Emily's car pull up, beginning to walk quickly towards it, eyes squinting against the downpour. It was only as she got closer she realised something was different; there was someone sitting in the passenger seat. From what she could make out through the rain-smeared window, it wasn't anyone she knew either.

She reached the car, hesitantly pulling open the door to the back. She slipped into the seat behind the passenger's, Emily twisting around to look at her when she closed the door.

"Paige, this is Maya," she said, gesturing to the seat beside her. "My new neighbour," she added, raising her eyebrows at Paige as if to say 'I know you know this but play along'. Maya leaned around the seat to see Paige. "Maya, Paige," Emily continued.

Maya gave an awkward wave. "Hi, you're the swimmer, right?"

"Yeah," Paige replied, forcing a smile.

"Are you as good as Emily, here?" Maya asked, putting her hand on Emily's arm for emphasis. Paige had only met this girl for two seconds and she could already feel the irritation flaring up inside of her.

"Sometimes," she replied, her smile becoming even more strained. There was a moment of silence that went on slightly too long to be comfortable; Paige noticed Emily shifting awkwardly. "So, it's Maya's first day today." Paige gritted her teeth- she also knew this already; Emily had told her yesterday over the phone even though she'd silently wished she would stop talking about Maya.

Emily hadn't mentioned that she would be giving Maya a lift, however.

"You're going in a bit early, are you not?" Paige asked, not bothering to disguise the blunt tone in her voice. Out of the side of her eye, Paige caught Emily shooting her an annoyed look that Maya couldn't see. Paige avoided her gaze, choosing to stare down Maya instead. She felt a childish sense of satisfaction when Maya looked away first.

"Yeah, need to get my transcripts sorted and I want to find out how to join the school jazz band," she stated. "Emily was kind enough to offer me a lift when she saw me leaving the house this morning." Maya turned back to Emily, giving her a much too flirty smile, in Paige's opinion.

Paige just nodded, choosing to turn and stare out of the car. She focused on two raindrops racing each other to the bottom of the window. She heard Emily clear her throat, saying, "Suppose we better get going," in a voice that was far too cheery to be sincere.

Crap. Paige knew she was in for it when they got out of the car, but she couldn't help it.

Maya bothered her.

Emily offered to show Maya where the school office was, Paige muttering, "Meet you in the gym." She stalked off down the hallway.

After quickly changing, she made her way into the gym. It was pretty small and basic, but it was enough. She looked around, noticing that there were a couple of the school's football players occupying the weights. She was just about to go on the treadmill when she spotted the punching bag hanging from the ceiling near the corner of the room.

She made her way to the storage closet, pulling a pair of boxing gloves out of a basket along with some gauze to wrap her knuckles in. Normally she would be thinking about how gross and sweaty the gloves probably were, but at this moment she couldn't bring herself to care.

She started off slow, jabbing the punching bag lightly, jumping back and forth on her toes. Once she felt like her muscles had warmed up, she began to put more force behind her punches. Right, left. Right, left. She could literally feel the stress leaving her body with every hit, a light sheen of sweat starting to cover her skin.

By the time Emily walked in, she was feeling much more relaxed.

"What the hell was that?" Emily walked up to her, arms crossed over her chest.

"Why aren't you changed?" Paige asked, noticing Emily was still in her normal clothes. She continued punching the bag.

"Paige."

"What?"

When Emily didn't reply, she sighed, letting her arms rest at her side and turning to face her, breathing loudly.

"Why were you so rude to Maya? She thinks you hate her." Well, she's not far off. Paige wanted to know exactly what Maya had said about her, but managed to stop herself from asking.

"Rude? I wasn't." Paige averted her eyes, wiping sweat off her forehead with her arm.

"Yes, you were. You barely said two words in the car."

"Well, sorry if I'm not in a chatty mood, okay?" Paige turned back to the punching bag, feeling the frustration starting to build again. She heard Emily huff behind her. She listened to the sound of her retreating footsteps, hearing the door to the gym close.

Paige stopped the bag swinging in front of her, resting her forehead against it. She closed her eyes and exhaled heavily.

Emily

She was on her way to swim practice, still confused over Paige's reaction to Maya in the car that morning. She'd obviously taken a dislike to her, but she had no idea why. Was Paige okay with her being gay but not actually being gay? She didn't know what to think.

She would have tried to get more out of Paige in the gym, but she realised she couldn't focus properly with Paige all hot and sweaty, her arm muscles flexing every time she threw a punch; that sent her mind veering off in a whole other direction altogether, leaving her feeling angry with herself as well as Paige.

She entered the locker room, seeing Paige was already there and in her swimsuit. She moved to her locker, not acknowledging Paige when she felt her eyes on her. "Hey," Paige said tentatively.

"Hey," she said, deliberately making her response short.

"Are you still mad at me?" Emily could almost hear the pout in her voice. "Look, I'm sorry. I'm an asshole, I know that." Emily looked up at that. Paige was looking intently at her hands where her fingers were playing with her swim cap; the fight went out of Emily.

She sat down on the bench beside the lockers, Paige following suit. They were still for a moment, Emily finally asking, "So, are you going to tell me what this morning was all about?"

Paige seemed to consider her words carefully, still staring at her hands. "Honestly? I don't know." She looked up at Emily briefly. "I guess sometimes you have a connection with people when you meet them, and sometimes you don't." She shrugged.

Emily raised her eyebrows, smiling slightly. "Really? That's all you're gonna give me? That's ridiculous."

"I don't know what else to say," Paige said simply.

Emily sighed, thinking that there must be more to it, but she decided not to push the matter; she would accept the answer Paige had given her; for now. "Okay," she said, standing up and starting to get changed. "And by the way, I don't think you're an asshole," she added, looking back at Paige.

Paige scrunched her face up doubtfully in a way that Emily could only describe as adorable. Emily reconsidered her words. "Well, okay; maybe sometimes."

They both grinned.

Paige

The week passed pretty quickly, and thankfully was mostly Maya-free apart from the occasional passing in the school hallways.

They were currently on their way to Noel Kahn's party out in the woods. Sean was one of their designated drivers, opting to take her and Emily, while Caleb was driving Hanna, Aria and Spencer. Paige was surprisingly looking forward to it; she was in the mood to just blow off some steam and have a good night out.

They approached the gate surrounding Noel's cabin, seeing that there were already a lot of people there, spilling out of the clearing and into the surrounding area. The baseline of loud music was pumping through the night air from inside the cabin.

Sean parked in a free spot at the side of the dirt road. "They're already here," Emily said from the back seat, looking up from her phone. "Hanna just text me; she says they're beside a tree." They all shook their heads at Hanna's helpfulness before getting out of the car.

Paige craned her neck, trying to see past the people walking by and the other parked cars that had been abandoned in various places. Further up the road she spotted Spencer's hand up in the air, waving them over.

"Up there," she pointed to Emily and Sean, beginning to walk towards the rest of their group, Sean taking her hand in his as they went. Once they reached them, they all made their way towards the cabin together.

Paige noticed there were already people staggering around, their giggles echoing through the air. She rolled her eyes, wondering what time they must have started drinking at.

Spencer handed them back their flyers that they had given her last week as they approached the entrance gate, Sean and Caleb pulling one from their back pockets.

There was a stern looking guy dressed in suit that seemed to be gathering the flyers and stamping people's wrists. Paige found herself rolling her eyes again; the Kahn family had way too much money on their hands if they even had a bouncer for a party in the woods.

A couple were getting turned away from the gate as they reached it. "No flyer, no entry!" the bouncer shouted.

Paige handed over her flyer and pulled up the sleeve of her jacket to allow her wrist to be stamped, walking through the gate.

She looked around the open space outside the cabin while she waited on the others. There were plenty of wooden chairs and tree stumps scattered around, which large groups of people were gathered at. The air stank of beer and weed, smoke rising into the night sky from all the joints that were being passed around. Their voices were overly loud, laughter ringing through the air at a drunken guy attempting to do a keg stand.

Sean's arm encircled her waist and he placed a kiss on the side of her head. "Want a drink, babe?"

She smiled. "Yeah, please. Vodka coke?"

"Coming right up," he said, asking the other girls what they wanted and walking off towards the inside of the cabin with Caleb.

"This party looks like it started a while ago," Aria said with wide eyes, staring at the ground which was littered with empty red cups.

"A lot of them probably came straight from school," Spencer speculated.

"We're way too sober for this," Hanna stated, eyes following a half-naked guy chasing a half-naked girl, who shrieked with laughter as she ran by them. Paige mentally agreed with Hanna. She needed a drink.

Sean and Caleb thankfully didn't take long to come back, juggling everyone's drinks in their hands. "Man, it's crazy in there," Caleb said with a grin, handing a cup to Hanna and Spencer. "Careful," he added as Hanna lifted the cup to her lips. "That might be a bit strong; the lighting in there wasn't exactly optimal for being able to see."

Hanna took a drink and shuddered. Paige took a sip from the cup that Sean handed her and had the same reaction. The vodka burned its way down her throat, settling in her stomach; after a few more sips however, she started to feel the warmth from the alcohol spreading through her body.

"Hey," Spencer said, trying to be subtle. "Toby's here." They all started to look around for him. "Don't look!" Spencer snapped. After a moment she asked "Do you think he knows I'm here?"

"From the way he keeps glancing over, I would say so," smirked Emily. "I can properly introduce you, you know."

"Maybe later," Spencer replied, taking a gulp of her drink.

An hour and three (or was it four?) drinks later, and it was safe to say Paige was buzzed.

She exited the bathroom into one of the crowded rooms of the cabin. The music was so loud that Paige could feel the vibrations in her chest. She struggled past people to make her way back outside, inhaling the fresh air deeply when she reached it; the heat inside was unbearable.

She felt a warm hand on her arm. She looked up to see Emily smiling at her with glazed eyes. "There you are," she said happily. "Look who's finally talking." She nodded her head across the clearing, where Paige could just make out Spencer and Toby.

"About time," Paige grinned. "Did you have anything to do with it?"

"If you mean 'did I physically drag Toby over to Spencer', then yeah, I did," she smiled proudly.

"Well done!" She squeezed Emily's shoulder. "Hopefully something will come of it." Paige still felt like she was overheating, starting to flap her hand in front of her face.

"You want to go for a walk?" Emily asked. "Hanna's with Caleb, Aria's disappeared off somewhere and Sean's with the football team," she added, guessing that Paige had been about to ask about the others.

Paige didn't even need to think about it. "Sure," she said, and they set off towards the gate.

Emily slipped her hand into Paige's as they walked, Paige smiling down at their intertwining fingers. A different kind of warmth spread up her arm.

They swayed down the dirt road, past all the parked cars, giggling stupidly at the fogged up windows of one car and the noises coming from it.

"Over here," Emily said, tugging on her hand and leading her into the trees.

"Em, where are we going?" She stumbled slightly. Being drunk and in almost complete darkness wasn't a good combination. Emily just 'shh'd' her, bringing them out into another clearing where there was a small shed standing. There was a lamp with a single bulb above the door, Emily flicking it on, a yellow glow surrounding them. There was a small step at the door, Emily slumping onto it, Paige following.

They could still hear noise and laughter from the party, but sitting here was oddly peaceful. Paige could feel Emily's warmth radiating into her side through her thin t-shirt. "Hey," she realised. "Where's my jacket?"

"I think Sean was holding it for you while you went to the bathroom," Emily said. They looked at each other for a moment, bursting into laughter.

"Oops," Paige snorted. "I hope he doesn't mind me leaving him for a bit."

"He's fine," Emily reassured her, a smile still on her face. "He was talking to his friends." Emily stretched her bare legs out in front of her, having chosen to wear a short simple skirt tonight, and Paige couldn't help staring. Her eyes trailed from her mid-thigh all the way down to the pair of Converse she was wearing.

She shook her head slightly, trying to clear the thoughts out of her head. She really had drunk too much, starting to think coming out here alone with Emily had been a bad idea. "So, how come Maya never came tonight?" Shit. Why did she just ask that? The last thing she wanted to talk about was Maya.

"No flyer, no entry!" Emily mocked the bouncer from earlier, earning a laugh from Paige. "I wish she could have come though, since Hanna said she would do some investigating -whatever that means - to see if she likes me or not." Emily rolled her eyes, a light blush rising in her cheeks.

Paige could see it in Maya's eyes, the way she looked at Emily in the car; the way she went out of her way to put her hand on Emily's arm; the way she smiled at her. Of course Maya liked her.

But she didn't feel like pointing that out to Emily right now.

"Which is kinda ridiculous since I don't even know if I'm interested in her," Emily added.

Paige suddenly thought of something that she'd been meaning to ask. "By the way, what about that girl you said you had a crush on that night at Hanna's?"

"What do mean?" Emily asked, tucking her hair behind her ear and staring out into the woods.

"Well, who is it?" Paige ribbed Emily in the side to get her to look back at her.

"I'm still not saying," Emily said shyly, a small smile on her face as she ducked her head.

"It's Brooke, isn't it?"

Emily laughed. "What? No!" She gave Paige a light shove on the shoulder. "Where did you get that idea from?"

She shrugged. "It was all I could come up with."

"So you've been thinking about it a lot then?" Emily stood up, walking away from her a few paces, turning to face her, looking amused.

Paige became focussed on picking at a speck of dirt that had found its way onto her jeans. "I guess I have," she admitted. "Come on, you can tell me. I won't tell anyone."

"No," Emily said, making the 'my lips are sealed' gesture.

Paige stood up slowly, smiling. "You sure about that?" said she playfully, waggling her fingers and starting to walk towards Emily.

Emily held out her hand in a 'stop' motion. "Paige, no. No. No!" she squealed with laughter, taking off into the woods, Paige running after her.

Emily didn't get very far, having to slow down since she couldn't see where she was going in the darkness. Paige caught her easily, grabbing her around the waist from behind, Emily shrieking through her giggles.

"Last chance, Fields," she murmured into her ear, moving her fingers threateningly to Emily's sides. "You gonna spill?"

Paige felt Emily's head shake; she began tickling her sides in earnest, grinning. Emily lunged forward, trying to get away but Paige wasn't letting go. She managed to turn around in Paige's arms, trying to push her off. She stumbled backwards into a tree, Paige going with her.

She threw an arm out onto the trunk just in time to stop herself crushing Emily, her other arm still around Emily's waist, holding her up.

They laughed breathlessly, Paige becoming acutely aware of their proximity. Their laughter died down; their smiles disappeared from their lips.

The next thing Paige knew was that they were kissing, pushing Emily up against the tree, Paige's body leaning into her.

Emily's hands trailed up Paige's arms leaving goosebumps in their wake, coming to rest on either side of her neck. Paige's hands were gripping hard at the material of Emily's shirt just above her hips, causing it to bunch up in her hands.

Emily's lips were soft and warm against her own, moving slowly and hesitantly at first, growing more confident with every passing second, applying more pressure; Paige pushed back with equal force.

Their tongues brushed gently, Paige's head beginning to spin. She had never experienced anything like it. Emily's hand buried itself in Paige's hair; Paige moved in even closer, their bodies flush against each other as the kiss increased in intensity.

Paige felt Emily moan softly into her mouth, a spike of arousal coursing through her body. She felt like she was on fire.

What was she doing? Her mind was slowly starting to catch up with her body. She was kissing Emily. She was kissing Emily.

She abruptly pulled away from Emily's mouth, stepping back a few paces, breathing heavily, trying to process what had happened.

She risked a glance at Emily, who was still leaning against the tree, eyes closed, her shoulders moving up and down as she inhaled deeply.

Oh god. Oh god. Fuck.

Emily had opened her eyes and was stepping towards her again. "Paige-"

"Don't," Paige said sternly, moving back away from Emily. The panic was starting to swell inside her. "Don't."

A pained expression crossed Emily's face, trying to reach out towards her again. "Paige-"

And that's when the panic spilled out of her. "Just 'cause you're a dyke doesn't mean I am, okay?" The words flew out of her mouth before she could rein them in; they both looked at each other in shock.

The moment was well and truly shattered; Paige saw tears instantly forming in Emily's eyes before she began to walk quickly past Paige and back the way they came.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Emily, wait," she pleaded. She followed her, trying to catch her arm.

"Leave me alone," Emily cried, snatching her arm from her grasp. Paige felt a stabbing pain in her heart at the crack in Emily's voice. Tears rolled down her cheeks as she watched Emily walking further and further away from her.

FUCK.

Rage started to build inside of her. She was so angry with herself. She had wanted brief space from Emily and she sure had fucking got it. She wasn't sure she could have said anything more hurtful at that moment in time to the person she cared most about in the world.

She turned, throwing her fist into the tree beside her, a sharp pain shooting up her arm.

A loud sob escaped her as she fell to her knees. She had ruined everything. She kneeled in the dirt crying for a couple of minutes, feeling the moisture from the ground soaking into her jeans. Her lips still burned from the kiss; the taste of Emily still on her tongue.

She was unable to wrap her mind around what had just happened. She felt extremely tired all of a sudden, her eyes closing as her tears continued to fall.

A few minutes later, she swiftly stood up; she suddenly realised she'd just let Emily walk off into the darkness of the woods all alone. There were way too many creeps in this town for it to be safe.

She began to run as fast as her intoxicated body would allow her, using the nearby trees for support. She eventually made it onto the dirt road, looking around for Emily frantically; she couldn't see her anywhere. She pulled out her phone, dialling Emily's number quickly.

No answer.

Paige doubted she would have gone back to the party, so she figured she might have started trying to walk back home.

Paige ran towards Noel's cabin. She would find Sean - shit, no. Not Sean. She would find Caleb, and get him to go find Emily and take her home. She flashed the now smudged stamp on her wrist at the bouncer who was still at the gate, walking quickly into the mass of people.

She looked around anxiously, finally seeing Caleb talking to a guy she thought was called Lucas but couldn't be sure. Paige rushed up to him, grabbing his arm and turning him to face her. Thankfully Hanna was nowhere in sight. "Caleb! You have to go get Emily," she gasped.

He looked surprised, taking in her appearance, his expression changing to concern. "What's happened?"

"It doesn't matter, just go get her. Please," she begged, trying to drag him towards the gate. "I think she started walking home, she's alone. She's upset. Caleb!"

Caleb finally started to move with her, throwing his drink carelessly onto the ground. He looked down, his eyes widening. "Paige, your hand. It's bleeding." He tried to take her hand to inspect it but she yanked it away.

"It's fine," she snapped. He looked like he was about to argue, but then thought better of it at the look on her face.

They were almost at his car. "You coming?" he asked, opening the door.

She shook her head. "I can't. She doesn't want to see me."

Caleb looked really confused, sighing in defeat. "Okay, but please go find Sean and get him to take you home. That hand needs to be put on ice, stat. And tell Hanna I'll be back soon if you see her." He slipped into the front seat, driving off down the road after Emily.

She watched the car disappear into the distance, feeling momentarily relieved before the night's events came rushing back and she felt tears pooling in her eyes once more. She sniffed, trying to push it to the back of her mind. She would need to keep herself together when she saw Sean.

She walked back into the party, this time acting remarkably calm considering the chaos going on inside her head.

After a few minutes (and a whole lot of ignoring the stares she was getting), she spotted Sean standing alone just outside the door of the cabin, still holding her jacket. When he saw her, he looked angry. "Where have you been?" he exclaimed. "I looked everywhere for you. Don't you answer your phone? I was starting to get worried."

Paige pulled out her phone, noticing that she did indeed have three text messages and two missed calls, all from Sean. "Sorry." She was taken aback by how hollow her own voice seemed.

Sean seemed to then actually look at her, realising that she had been crying. "What's wrong?" he asked, putting his hands on her arms. "God, you're freezing." He sat her jacket around her shoulders, pulling her into his side. She almost started crying again. Why was he being so nice? Why couldn't he see what a horrible person she was?

"Just take me home. Please?" Her voice was small and quiet.

Sean looked at her with a concerned expression. "Okay, let's go."

In the car, she mostly managed to avoid talking, although she did snap at Sean when he noticed her bleeding hand and wouldn't shut up about letting him see it. She told him that she'd fallen and cut it, but he didn't seem to buy it; however, he thankfully let it go.

Around halfway home, she got a text from Caleb.

Emily's home safe and sound.

Paige had to take in deep, slow breaths in order to stop herself from breaking down there and then.

When they arrived outside her house, she couldn't even bring herself to kiss Sean goodnight. She quickly told him, "I'll text you tomorrow", before hurrying into her house and up to her room.

She didn't even bother getting undressed; she flung herself onto the bed and finally let it all out, crying herself to sleep.

Everything was fucked, and it was all her fault.

A/N: Okay, so this was pretty angsty, but hopefully you can understand what's happening with Paige. Thanks for the follow/faves/reviews as always!