Chapter 21
"There, there, girl. Not much longer now," Kid soothed the mare as he softly stroked her back. Experience had taught him how to figure out when a mare would be ready to bring a new baby horse into the world. He would never forget the first time he had helped deliver a colt. It had been the most beautiful sight he had ever been witness to, and it still impressed him just as strongly as the first day.
When a colt or filly was born, seeing mother and baby together for the first time always moved him, and he never failed to think of Lou even if they had not been together in the last years. Since the moment he started courting Lou, fatherhood had somehow always been present in his mind. First of all, he had been too worried that Lou might find herself in a very delicate position because of their unrefrainable desires for each other. And since that was a real possibility, it was then that he had started to wonder how he felt about the idea of becoming a father. In truth, the whole notion terrified him. He feared that along the way he might turn into the same kind of man his father had been, which had always been his most dreaded nightmare. His mother had always said that his pa had been a good man at the beginning of their marriage, but he had turned to the bottle and become a violent drunkard soon after Jed had been born.
That idea had almost obsessed Kid for years, and he had really feared that some of the anger and the personality of his father would have been passed onto him. Long years of suffering during the war, in prison, and in particular in his loneliness without his wife had taught him that he could actually survive extreme situations without losing his very essence or forgetting who he was. There were actions he was not very proud of, but now he knew he could never be like his father.
Now that Lou was back in his life, he could dream without fears. One day they would hopefully be parents of a little boy or girl, and Kid really believed that since they had both had poor examples in their fathers, they would not repeat those same mistakes, and could be good parents. Kid had no doubt that was true in Lou's case. She had done a terrific job with her brother and sister, and even though their own child would be a different story, the Southerner was convinced she would be an excellent mother one day.
"I'll be back in a bit, girl," Kid said, opening the door of the stall and walking out. "I'm gonna have some lunch now."
The mare snorted softly as if she were granting him permission, which made Kid smile, and he marched out of the stables. Before heading for the house, he stopped at the adjacent shed where he washed up and changed from his work shirt into a clean one he always kept there. Once freshened up, as he made his way to the house, he scanned the horizon. Lou had left for town that morning. She had not come back yet, and there was no trace of the coming wagon in the distance either, so Kid simply continued towards the house.
Once inside, he left his hat on the peg next to the front door, and crossed over to the dining room. Ari was setting the table for lunch. Kid nodded his head at her in greeting and took his usual seat at the top of the table. A smile came to his lips when he noticed the extra plate and cutlery set on the usual empty space on his right, a simple detail that made a whole lot of a difference in his life.
"Lou won't be long," Kid said, knowing how strict Ari was with meals. The woman also had lunch and dinner with him in the house naturally. "But I imagine she won't mind if we start without her."
Ari did not say anything, just nodded, and walked into the kitchen, returning just seconds later with a smoking soup tureen. The woman served Kid and herself her leek and potato soup and sat in her usual spot. They ate in silence for a while, and after a few minutes, Kid could not keep quiet anymore. "Ari, I know you too well, and you have something on your mind. Come on. Spit it out."
"Very well," the woman replied, lifting her eyes to him and putting her spoon down. "Kid, what is she doing here?"
Kid sighed. Even though he had initiated the conversation, he knew he was not going to like it at all. "I told you already… we're finally where we should have been all along. This is our home, and…"
"I thought you wanted to divorce her," Ari pointed out, cutting him off in mid-sentence.
"I believed it was the right thing to do since we haven't lived together for so long," Kid rectified her words. He could never want to divorce Lou; she was and had always been the love of his life, but their lengthy separation and many problems had made him think that ending their union legally was what they had to do now. Thankfully, they had been able to sort things out.
"And what happened to change your mind? Did she entangle you with sweet words and a few tears?"
Kid shook his head. "You're being totally unfair to Lou."
"Kid, that woman broke your heart! She stomped and trampled over it, and did not have an ounce of compassion in her soul when you returned to her after going through hell in that damned war! She kicked you out of her life as if you were a mangy dog! Have you forgotten that?"
"Lou made mistakes, I grant you that. But I also made her suffer. I'm not without fault."
"Kid, you're a very noble man, and I hate it how the best men always end up with all these cheating, treacherous, selfish women, and…"
"Hold on there!" Kid exclaimed seriously. "Ari, it ain't right what you're saying about my wife. Lou ain't perfect, but she's a generous, kind, and honest person. You can't judge her because you don't know her."
"I just know what you told me," Ari counter attacked. "And she surely didn't cut out a very nice figure."
Kid sighed, now regretting that he told her so much about his past history with Lou. "All married couples have problems, and we ain't different."
"You know I love you like a son, and just don't want you to suffer again… I don't want her to break your heart again."
"She won't," Kid stated firmly. "Maybe you find this hard to believe, but Lou's a very good person and I know she loves me. We both want to make this marriage succeed, and I'm sure we will."
Ari was an intelligent woman, and knew when she had to stop. "I hope you're right for your own good. I really want the best for you, and if you believe Louise is the person you need, then I have nothing else to say."
"Thanks, Ari."
They resumed eating in silence and not far from where they were, Louise stood, tears streaming down her face. She had happily returned from town a few minutes ago, but when she had walked into the house, her name being mentioned had welcomed her. Naturally, she had not thought much of it, and she had been about to walk into the dining room and made her presence known when the conversation had reached her ears, and she had realized what her husband and Mrs. Giles were talking about. Lou had frozen on the spot. It had not been her intention to eavesdrop, but she had felt unable to move.
That woman was poisoning Kid against her, but Lou could not blame her. Ari had every reason to think the worst of her, and her words were basically true. If she was in Mrs. Giles' position and one of her friends had been hurt like she had hurt Kid, she would certainly not keep quiet about it.
Deleting the past was not going to be as easy as Kid thought. Her actions had left a mark that might be impossible to rub out. Lou's intentions were genuine, and she really intended to love and respect Kid as he deserved. Mrs. Giles' words hurt deeply, but that pain was not new because it had been there all along, since it was actually her own doing. On any other occasion, Louise would have barged against the woman and showed her how sharp her tongue was. However, she could not do that now. Every word was true, and Mrs. Giles was acting as a true, honest friend to Kid, so Lou felt she had to accept her true criticism and keep mum.
Right now Lou was very scared… scared stiff. All Kid's friends in this town must have the same opinion about her as Ari. What if all of them talked to Kid against her? What if he started believing she was not worth it? What if all that venom really reached him? All these possibilities terrified her. If Kid decided to leave her for good, she knew she would go crazy with pain. That would be too hard to overcome. However, deep down she wanted to believe that their love was stronger, and could survive any external interference. Yet, she could not help but feel frightened.
Louise wiped her tears furiously with her hands when she realized the conversation had stopped. No more tears. She was tired of crying so much. Weeping had not led her anywhere, and she told herself it was time to jump into action. She had to show the world she was not as horrible as everybody believed, and she would prove herself to Kid and his friends. Being a good wife to him was her first priority, and even if she had to choke back her tears, swallow her words, or forget her pride, she would do it for Kid and their marriage. That was going to be her first duty, and nothing else mattered. What she had overheard had made her realize she had a long road ahead, but she would not give up on Kid, not this time.
Looking at her reflection in the small mirror in the hall, Lou noticed her eyes were red from crying, but it was totally logical to assume that the dust of the road had got into her eyes as she drove home. Now she had to forget what she had heard and focus on her husband, so plastering a wide smile on her face, she finally marched to the dining room, greeting her husband and Mrs. Giles as if nothing had happened.