Chapter 11
Paige
The time had come; her parents would be dropping by to pick her up in ten minutes.
She hadn't realised how much her belongings had spilled out all over the place during the week, having to scour Emily's room to locate pieces of jewellery, schoolwork and even the odd sock.
"Here," Emily said, walking into the room and holding out Paige's toothbrush.
"Thanks." She took the toothbrush and shoved it into her bag, having one final glance around the room to make sure she had everything before zipping the bag shut. She sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking up at Emily sadly.
Emily sat beside her, putting an arm around her neck and placing a kiss to the side of her head. "Is it weird to say that I'm going to miss you?"
Paige reached up to hold Emily's hand, kissing her knuckles softly. "Not at all; I feel exactly the same." She tucked her head under Emily's chin, her eyes closing.
"I wonder how long it would take my parents to notice if I secretly moved you in," Emily mused, Paige smiling into her neck.
"If only."
They just sat there savouring the moment, before having to separate at the sound of someone coming up the stairs. Emily jumped up from the bed, walking casually towards the window seat.
Pam appeared in the doorway. "I'm just wondering if you're staying for lunch, Paige?"
"Oh, no thanks, Mrs Fields," Paige smiled. "My parents should be here any minute now. Thanks anyway." Paige leaned over to pick up the spare house key she had been given off of the bedside table, standing up to take it over to Pam.
Pam took it off her with a smile. "Well, it's been nice having you here."
"And thank you so much for having me," she replied. They heard a knock on the front door downstairs. "That'll be them," Paige sighed. Emily's mom left to go and answer the door while Paige turned to get her bag. Emily beat her to it however, darting over and heaving it off of the bed.
"What're you doing?" Paige asked, amused.
"What does it look like? Carrying your bag." Emily kissed her briefly on her way past, Paige having to squash the butterflies in her stomach before following after her. She could hear both her parents speaking to Pam as she made her way downstairs, making sure to plaster a smile onto her face when she saw them.
"Hey," they said simultaneously, looking genuinely happy to see her. She suddenly felt guilty for dreading their return. She walked into her mom's open arms, weirdly feeling like she wanted to cry. She swallowed the lump in her throat as she turned to hug her dad.
"Did you girls have fun?" she heard her mom ask, most likely looking at Emily since she answered quickly.
"Yeah, it was great." Paige stepped away from her dad, turning to see Emily running a hand through her hair, shifting awkwardly.
"They've been inseparable," Pam said fondly, putting a hand on Emily's back. Paige met Emily's eyes, both of them laughing nervously.
"Maybe we should have stayed away longer then," her mom joked. Paige was desperate for a change in subject, and so was Emily going by the way she was smiling at her feet.
Thankfully her dad seemed like he was ready to get home. "Well, better get going. The workmen are waiting at the house for me to check out the bathroom. Thanks again, Pam. You and Wayne have been a great help."
"Not a problem, Paige is welcome anytime," Pam smiled.
Her dad reached forward to pick up the bag from where Emily had left it and walked out to the car. "Thanks again," Paige said, stepping forward to hug Pam. She was about to hug Emily before she just decided to say, "Text you later?" Emily nodded.
"See you."
Paige followed her mom out of the house, smiling sadly as she waved goodbye to Emily over her shoulder.
They had only been home an hour when Paige remembered why she preferred staying at Emily's.
"So, have you got that sheet of times I asked for?" her dad asked.
"Nick!" her mom chastised. "What did I tell you?"
"What? I didn't ask her right away."
Paige sighed as she went to retrieve the piece of paper she'd got from Coach, knowing her dad wouldn't let up until he saw them. She had been embarrassed asking for the sheet but Coach Fulton thankfully hadn't made a fuss, even saying, "You can tell your dad I won't be deciding who's anchoring for another three weeks, but you have a very good chance of getting it." Paige had smiled gratefully; it wasn't something that she had ever really spoken about, but Coach Fulton seemed to understand that she found the pressure that her dad put on her difficult to cope with at times.
She returned to the living room where her parents were sitting, handing her dad the sheet. "Let's see," he said, using his finger to browse down the list of her times for that week. "Pretty good," he said after a moment, Paige slumping slightly in relief; she knew she hadn't done her absolute best this week since living with Emily was kind of distracting, but he didn't seem disappointed. "And you kept up with the rest of your training this week?"
"Yes," Paige nodded impatiently, glad that she didn't have to lie, having made the effort to get out of bed every day of the week no matter how tempting it had been to stay cuddled up with Emily. "Oh, and Coach also said that I have a good chance at anchoring at the next meet, but she won't be making a final decision for another few weeks."
"Good, I'm proud of you," he smiled, Paige silently wishing that he could be proud of her even if she didn't make anchor. Even when she was appointed co-captain of the team along with Emily, he couldn't just congratulate them both. No, that wasn't good enough; he always wanted her to be the best. "What were Emily's times like this week?"
Paige almost rolled her eyes but managed to stop herself. "I don't know, Dad. I couldn't exactly ask for a sheet of her times as well." When she competed against Emily, yes, she wanted to win, but an element of friendliness was always maintained between them; she won some races and Emily won others, that's the way it was. Her dad always tried to turn it into something more serious, saying, "You should only be thinking about yourself, Paige. This is your future we're talking about." It frustrated her.
"Well, did you race one-on-one at all? Did you win?"
Paige gritted her teeth. "Okay, Nick, I think that's enough swim talk for today," her mom interjected, Paige shooting her a thankful look.
He sighed. "Fine; just remember about the scouts at the next meet. Keep track of that and you'll do great."
Paige walked to her room, violently emptying the bag she had been using all week and throwing all her dirty clothes into the hamper in the hallway. She hated how easily her dad could get under her skin. She closed her eyes and counted to ten, breathing slowly and deeply. This was a technique that Coach had told her about last year when she saw her getting frustrated in the water; she had heard of it before but hadn't really thought it would be effective. Coach had urged her to at least try it and to Paige's surprise, it had actually helped.
Feeling calmer, she went back to her room, already wanting to text Emily. She resisted the urge, feeling like that would be a bit pathetic; she had only left her about an hour ago. Get a grip, Paige.
She switched on her TV, settling back against the pillows on her bed and trying to think about anything other than Emily.
"So, have you spoken to Sean recently?"
Paige sighed, shaking her head at her mom across the dining table. "No, Mom. Why would I have? We're not together anymore, remember?" When she had told her parents that she was no longer seeing Sean, they had been disappointed to say the least; he was Reverend Ackard's son; a star athlete on the football team; he got on well with everyone. Overall, he was a nice, responsible guy; she could see why her parents liked the two of them dating.
She had deliberately told them that they had broken up just before she was going out so that they didn't have time to grill her for details. They had tried to do so since, but she shut them down quickly, making it clear that she wasn't going to expand on the matter.
"I know, but I just thought that you would have worked out your issues by now," her mom continued. "You make such a lovely couple."
"Mom! We're over; that's all there is to it."
"He better not have done anything to hurt you," her dad said protectively.
"He didn't, so can we just drop it please?" Paige clenched her jaw, deciding the faster she ate, the faster she could return to her room. She started shovelling food into her mouth, chewing quickly.
There was a brief silence, interrupted only by the scraping of forks on plates; Paige tuned out as her dad started talking about some conversation he'd had at the conference.
She thought about calling up the girls and arranging something for tomorrow; she didn't think she could spend the whole day trapped inside with her parents. Or she might be made to go to church which would be even worse.
She had initially managed to stop going early last year by claiming she had to train since she had to be her best for this year, knowing that swimming would be the only reason her dad would let her off. These days she didn't train on weekends since she did so much during the week, but she usually made herself appear busy just in case her dad tried to make her go again.
"...gay marriage, and he said he was going to perform a ceremony in a few weeks. Unbelievable." Paige's stomach dropped as she became acutely aware of the conversation that was happening at the dinner table, unable to stop her head from jerking in the direction of her dad. "Two men getting married, and in a church? What is the world coming to?" he continued.
Paige looked over to see her mom's reaction to the remark; she was shaking her head saying, "I know; it's not right."
Paige felt sick, a hollow pit forming inside of her.
She stared at her plate, not taking in the rest of their words. She must have zoned out completely, because suddenly her dad was touching her shoulder asking if she was alright; she jumped at the contact.
"What?"
"I said are you okay? You look a bit pale."
"Actually, I'm not feeling very well. I think I need to go lie down." Her voice sounded foreign to her own ears. She stood up, taking her plate to the sink before making her way upstairs. She sat on the edge of her bed, feeling completely numb.
Her phone buzzed. She picked it up distractedly, looking at the text on the screen.
What are you up to? I'm lonely without you :-(
Silent tears spilled down her cheeks, Emily's message blurring in front of her. She lay down on her side, clutching the phone to her chest, the words It's not right echoing through her head. She turned her face into her pillow as a quiet sob escaped her throat, hating her parents, hating herself.
Her tears had dried. She wasn't sure how much time had passed, but she was now lying in complete darkness.
She saw a light being turned on in the hallway through the gap between her door and the floor, followed by the sound of footsteps on the stairs. She turned onto her other side, facing away from the door and ignoring the quiet knock on the wood.
She made sure to keep her breathing deep and even as the door opened and light spilled into the room. She wasn't sure if it was her mom or dad; not that it mattered; she didn't want to speak to either of them. After what felt like an eternity, the door eventually closed gently, Paige listening intently as the footsteps retreated back down the hallway and down the stairs.
She sighed, checking the time on her phone; at least two hours had passed since dinner. Without thinking, she scrolled to Emily's name, putting the phone to her ear. Emily answered after two rings.
"Hey," she said cheerily. "I was beginning to wonder if I was going to hear from you."
"Sorry," Paige said, swallowing; her throat was painfully dry. There was a pause on the other end of the line, Emily obviously waiting for her to say something else.
"So, what are you doing?" Emily finally said, a puzzled tone lacing her words.
"Not much," she replied, her eyes closing at the sound of Emily's voice. She reached up to grab one of her spare pillows and hugged it to her chest, pretending that Emily was there with her in the bed. There was another silence.
"Paige, are you okay? You're acting weird." Emily sounded worried. "Did something happen?" she added when Paige didn't respond.
"I just needed to hear your voice," Paige whispered. "Can you just talk for a bit? Please?"
"About what?"
"Anything."
"Okay," Emily said unsurely, before starting to tell her about her day. It hadn't been very eventful, but it didn't matter. Lying there in the dark with Emily's voice speaking into her ear, the pain lessened.
Emily
She was on her way over to Spencer's where they had all been invited. Spencer wanted them to meet Toby, since Paige, Hanna and Aria hadn't been properly introduced.
Emily had offered to give Paige a lift since she wanted to talk about last night, but Paige had replied that she was already there, having decided to take her bike. She didn't know why, but there had been something off with Paige last night and it was eating away at her.
She had text her that morning asking if everything was okay, and Paige hadn't ignored her exactly, but she hadn't answered the question either. She didn't know if she would get an opportunity to get Paige to open up about it today, but she was sure going to try.
She parked outside of Spencer's house, walking up by the side of the house and ducking down to peer through the window of the door into Spencer's living room. Seeing her friends gathered on the sofa, she opened the door.
"Hey," she said, entering the room and moving to perch on the arm of the couch beside Hanna. Her eyes flitted around the room, landing briefly on Paige who shot her a quick smile. "Where's Aria?" Emily asked, noticing she was missing.
Spencer grabbed Toby's wrist, twisting his watch towards her to check the time. "She should be here soon. She said she was busy but would be over around half twelve." Emily smiled at how coupley Spencer and Toby looked sitting on the couch opposite, Toby's arm around her shoulders, Spencer's hand on his thigh.
"Aw," she said turning to look at Hanna and Paige. "Look how sweet they look." They all laughed, Emily removing her jacket before shifting down onto the seat beside Hanna.
"I know, I already told them that," Hanna grinned.
"Well, I'm glad you approve," Toby said, gesturing to Emily, Hanna and Paige.
"Me too." Spencer turned to peck Toby's lips before turning back to face them. "So, you want to just hang here for a while? My parents and Melissa are out for the day." Emily nodded along with Hanna and Paige as Spencer stood up to go to the kitchen. "Let's see what there is to eat," Spencer mumbled on her way by. Toby stood up and followed her to the kitchen.
"He's like an adorable puppy following her around," Hanna whispered. "It's cute."
"Yeah, they seem really happy. Good job on that one, Em," Paige said, leaning around Hanna so that she could see her. Emily smiled.
"Back in a minute, I need to pee," Hanna said, suddenly standing up and hurrying upstairs. Emily looked into the kitchen to see Spencer and Toby preoccupied looking through the cupboards.
Emily shifted closer to Paige, speaking quietly. "Hey, so what was that last night?"
"What was what?"
"There was something wrong. I could hear it in your voice."
Paige looked away. "It was nothing; I already told you." Emily couldn't help but rest her hand beside Paige's so that their pinkies were touching.
"Paige…"
"Look, Emily. Just drop it, please," she said under her breath, jumping slightly when the door opened.
Aria rushed in. "Hey, sorry I'm late."
Paige stood up, smiling. "Don't worry, you haven't missed anything. We're just about to eat." Paige walked into the kitchen to help with the food, Emily watching her as she went, not feeling any better about the situation.
Aria sat down on the couch with a sigh, Emily deciding she would just need to try asking Paige again later. "So, where were you?" she asked Aria.
"Huh?" Aria said, her eyes widening, freezing slightly. "Oh, my mom needed my help with something on the computer." Emily frowned in confusion at Aria's reaction. Was she not telling her something as well as Paige? "Hey, Han," Aria said quickly as Hanna came back downstairs.
"Decided to finally show then?" she said in a jokey tone.
"Okay, I wasn't that late; I didn't realise we ran on such a strict time schedule." Aria went to join the group in the kitchen; Emily didn't know what they had decided to make but it smelled amazing. Her stomach growled with hunger.
"She's totally hiding something," Hanna said quietly, looking at Aria.
"Right?" Emily said, nodding. "I just noticed that she was acting really weird there when I asked where she was." Emily got lost in thought for a moment, wondering if she and Paige were any better at concealing their secret; she hoped so. "You think she's seeing someone that she doesn't want us to know about?" Emily asked, searching Hanna's face to see if she was looking at her like she was the pot calling the kettle black. Seeing no hint of accusation towards her, she allowed herself to relax.
"I have no idea, but I'm gonna find out," Hanna said determinedly.
"Right, I said I'd go meet Caleb," Hanna said, stretching as she stood up.
They had been sitting on the couch all afternoon just talking about anything and everything, allowing Paige, Hanna and Aria to get to know Toby. Emily was happy that they all seemed to really like him.
Emily's worry about Paige had settled; Paige must have sensed the anxiety since she had made sure to discreetly touch Emily in reassurance, whether it be their shoulders resting against each other as they sat side-by-side on the couch, or Paige's hand subtly resting on her foot which was curled up underneath her on the cushion. The touches were small but comforting.
Hanna looked around at them, giving them a pointed look. "Don't you guys have somewhere to be too?" Emily was confused before Hanna gave a not-so-subtle jerk of her head in the direction of Spencer and Toby.
"Oh, yeah," Emily said, catching on to the fact that they might want to take advantage of having the house to themselves. Toby must have also figured out what Hanna was implying, laughing and putting his palm to his face. "I have, uh, homework," Emily added.
"Jeez, you guys," Spencer laughed, shaking her head in amusement, but Emily saw her stand up and whisper a thank you into Hanna's ear.
They said their goodbyes, Emily feeling slightly jealous; she didn't know how long she and Paige would have to wait to have some decent alone time. It could be tomorrow or it could be weeks. She had a feeling though that at the next opportunity they wouldn't be able to stop themselves from going all the way, judging by the way things had escalated in her car.
"Hey, Aria, wait up," Hanna said, hurrying after her down Spencer's path, no doubt to badger her about why she's been acting so strange.
Emily walked with Paige as she wheeled her bike out of Spencer's yard. "Do you want to do something? You could get your bike and we could go to the park?" Paige suggested.
Emily really did have homework due for tomorrow, but she couldn't resist spending more time with Paige; she hadn't even kissed her today, she realised. "Sounds good," she smiled.
As it turned out, they couldn't even kiss at the park. It seemed like the whole of Rosewood had decided to enjoy the crisp fresh air, making it impossible to find a quiet spot. They cycled slowly back to Emily's house, the sky starting to darken.
"You could always come in?" Emily said, hopping off of her bike.
"I don't think that would be the best idea; your parents are in," Paige smiled, ducking her head.
Emily raised her eyebrows with a smirk. "So? I was talking about inviting you in for a cup of tea. Mind in the gutter much?"
"Shut up," Paige grinned, her cheeks reddening. Emily dumped her bike on the ground, grabbing Paige's wrist and dragging her around to the side of the house, out of sight of any prying eyes. She looped her fingers through the belt loops on Paige's pants, tugging her towards her.
Paige laughed against her lips, her hands coming up to cup Emily's face. Emily backed Paige against the wall of the house, kissing her fervently. She eventually pulled back, resting her forehead against Paige's. "I was beginning to think I wasn't going to get to kiss you today." She captured Paige's lips in another kiss.
Paige's hands trailed down her arms, intertwining their fingers. "I know; it sucks. I think that week staying with you spoiled us."
They kissed for a while, Paige pulling back with a gasp when Emily's hands started to roam places they shouldn't. "I should probably go," she said reluctantly. A sadness passed over her face that Emily didn't think was just from not being able to continue this elsewhere.
Emily rested her hands on Paige's neck, saying, "Paige, please tell me what happened yesterday." Paige sighed in frustration, looking like she was ready to argue. Emily quickly kissed her again, trying to make her relax and coax the answer out of her. "It's not good for you to keep things pent up inside."
Paige seemed to consider Emily's words carefully before finally mumbling, "It was just something my parents said at dinner last night, alright? It got to me."
Emily didn't have to think very hard to imagine what her parents could have said to cause such a reaction from Paige. "Something homophobic?" she asked tentatively. Paige averted her gaze, giving Emily her answer. She didn't know what to say to make her feel better, so she just hugged her tightly, placing a kiss into her hair.
It sent her mind thinking about her own parents; her mom in particular. She was old-fashioned and most likely wouldn't have the best of reactions when Emily finally found the courage to tell her she was gay. But thankfully her dad was a bit more open-minded and would hopefully be more understanding. Both of Paige's parents were traditionalists, Emily thinking it must be even scarier for her to contemplate telling her parents about them.
"Thank you for telling me," Emily said gently, glad that Paige had opened up to her. Paige hugged her tighter.
"Thank you for persuading me to."
The next couple of weeks passed quickly, Emily's workload increasing every day with midterms slowly approaching. She hadn't been able to spend as much time with Paige as she would have liked, both of them juggling schoolwork, swimming and their friends.
When they did manage to steal some alone time, it was heated and intense. Emily couldn't believe their luck; neither of their parents had been out of the house long enough for them to go physically further in their relationship. Emily blushed; they hadn't spoken about it directly, but she was assuming that Paige was as ready as she was to go to that next step. Especially considering the way Paige had groped her that morning while on their run, attacking her mouth and neck so aggressively that Emily almost took her clothes off there and then.
She heard a knock at the front door, opening it to find Hanna. "Hey." Hanna had come over to borrow books she needed for school since Emily didn't currently need them.
"God, it's freezing out there," Hanna complained, rubbing her hands together as she stepped into the house.
They went up to her room, Emily dumping a whole load of math books onto her bed. "Help yourself," she gestured.
"Thanks," Hanna said. "I really didn't want to have to spend money on this crap." She rifled through the selection of books, Emily crawling onto the bed beside her. Emily was in the middle of thinking about what work she had left to do that night when Hanna suddenly squealed, "Emily Fields!"
Emily jumped slightly, the unexpected outburst giving her a fright. "What the hell?"
"Is that a hickey on your neck?"
Emily froze, quickly covering her neck with her hair. "What? No," she said quickly. Shit. She hadn't even realised that Paige had left a mark. The shirt she had worn today must have covered it up or else she would have seen it when looking in the mirror at school. She had changed into a comfy t-shirt once she'd gotten home. Thank god swim practice was off today.
"Oh my god, it totally is. Let me see." Hanna lunged towards her, Emily trying to bat her hands away. Hanna managed to shift her hair out of the way, tilting her head so that she could see the mark better.
"It's not a hickey; I burnt myself with straighteners this morning," Emily explained desperately.
Hanna looked at her doubtfully. "Emily, I know a hickey when I see one."
Emily could only stare at Hanna before deflating in defeat. "Is it really bad?" she grimaced.
"Nothing that you won't be able to hide with some make-up," Hanna stated, finally letting go of her head. Emily stood up and closed her bedroom door, not wanting her parents to hear the assault of questions Hanna was about to throw at her, before going to examine her neck in the mirror.
"Crap," Emily whispered, seeing a small but obvious hickey on her skin. God, what if her mom or dad had seen it? She would have been mortified.
"So?" Hanna said. "You gonna tell me where you got that from?"
"Um…" Emily stalled, having no idea what to say. "No," she said simply.
"It wasn't Aria, was it?" They both laughed, Emily's heart beating faster at the fact that Hanna wasn't that far off from the truth. "Come on, Em. Are you seeing someone?" Emily struggled to maintain eye contact as she denied it, but Hanna didn't buy it. "Oh my god, you are! Who is she?"
Emily sighed, going back to sit on the bed. "I can't tell you."
"Why not?" Hanna shot back, disappointment appearing on her face.
"I just can't, okay? It's complicated. She-the girl I'm seeing- isn't out so we're just keeping things between us for now."
Hanna mulled the information over, a smile eventually forming on her lips. "Okay. I can understand that; it's pretty sweet, actually. So, how long has this been going on?"
Emily deliberately kept the details vague, not wanting to give Hanna any clues to piece together. "Not that long."
"What does she look like? Is she cute?"
"I can't tell you that either, but yes, very." Emily almost laughed, the whole conversation feeling surreal.
"Looks like you're getting to know each other pretty well," Hanna said, nodding at her neck. "Have you done it yet?"
"Hanna!" Emily flushed, looking away. She had always been quite reserved when talking about things like this; Hanna was the complete opposite.
"Well, have you?" Hanna grinned, leaning forward in anticipation of her answer.
Emily couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. "Not exactly, but we're getting there."
Hanna gripped her knee in excitement. "Emily! I can't believe you hid this from me; this is great. I'm really happy for you. Does anyone else know?"
"No!" Emily said, surprised at how loud the word came out. "And they can't know. You're not even supposed to know." Emily gulped, imagining how freaked out Paige would be that Hanna was one step closer to finding out about them. "Please promise you won't say a word."
Hanna's expression sobered at Emily's panic. "Whoa, calm down. I promise I won't say anything."
Relief washed over her. "Okay, thank you."
Hanna went back to browsing the books before looking quickly up at her again. "Oh, and I want to hear all the details when you finally lose your V card."
Emily rolled her eyes, knowing there was no way that she would divulge that information, but she felt oddly happy at being able to share her relationship with Paige with Hanna, even if she didn't actually know it was Paige she was seeing.
She was sure that Paige wouldn't share that sentiment though; this was going to have to be something that she would have to keep to herself.
A/N: Sorry for the delay with that chapter! My brain wasn't cooperating with me. Hopefully you won't have to wait as long for the next chapter since I'm pretty excited to write it ;)