Previously: Wolfe informed Skye of the ritual in which she would have to die, asking her if she would expose herself to the Terrigen Mist on her birthday to save the Inhuman species. The team are skeptical he's telling the truth and want to go research some of the information he's given them in Italy.

Chapter Eighteen

"You know, I've actually been here before," Coulson chimed.

He was saying it to the one person who he hadn't already told: their boat driver. All the way to Italy, Coulson was talking about how he had been there before, right on top of it, and didn't realize there was anything alien the whole time he had.

The Blue Grotto in Capri was famous for the blue light that came from, what people thought, just strange reflections of sunlight. But if what Wolfe said held true, the real reason for the colors would be from the Terrigen Crystals.

Ward, Skye and Coulson wafted into the waters in the tiny boat. They'd actually come to the grotto on a speedboat, now anchored just a few feet away from the entrance. But apparently there was a very specific way you had to get inside the cave.

It was an extremely narrow entrance with the top of the water almost hitting the roof of the cave as you tried to go inside; so small boats would have to pull themselves through with a chain as the passengers laid back in them.

"Then you will know it is, eh, prettier during the day. Molta bella!" responded Fabio, the person currently captaining their small vessel. He was a cheery Italian man who spoke near perfect English, though broken with a thick accent. Ward could have spoken to him in his native tongue, but didn't want to appear too cavalier to Coulson and Skye. "To want to come at night is… very strange."

Ward was skeptical when he learned that the grotto didn't light up at night. Wasn't that evidence that it truly was a reflection of the sun? But Wolfe insisted that the Terrigen Crystals reacted only to certain temperatures, so when it became colder at night, their lights would dim.

"I know how crowded it usually is. Though I do appreciate you taking us out here, at this time."

Fabio waved his hands wildly as he spoke. "Oh no! I appreciate the extra money you were kind enough to pay, hehe. But we not discuss money now. Not when beauty awaits!"

Skye was beaming. It was a sight that made Ward's heart crumple in both happiness and devastation. It was amazing she could be so cheerful at a time like this.

Ward had a theory. It involved Skye being stuck between the fact that she only had two weeks to live and that this was all a hoax. With the hope that she may not die, but given the push to live her life to the fullest because she might, she was in a state of near denial and pure bliss that came from any experience she could get her hands on.

"Nice. I'm glad this mission is in Italy, I've always wanted to go to Capri," she had sung happily when Coulson had told her the destination. This mission. As though they weren't going to go check if her days were numbered.

It was why she volunteered to be one of the ones to go under the water. Well that, and as they quickly realized, there weren't too many other choices.

May had been experienced in Scuba, but with a knee injury sustained while fighting Garrett, swimming was off the menu for her. Similar problems arose with Coulson, that with recent injuries it wouldn't be wise for him to go in the water. Triplett just wasn't a very confident swimmer.

Fitzsimmons of course didn't want to go in the water, due to recent events Ward tried not to remind himself of.

It was just another thing he kept locked away, including any thoughts on Garrett, Hydra, or what the specialist was going to do once the team finally had enough of him. The thoughts needed to remain untouched in a corner in his mind, compartmentalized. Just like when he was on any mission.

But for the diving, that just left Skye… and Ward.

Which was an interesting discussion. Still, they decided it was for the best to not let the hacker go down there alone.

The BUS had wetsuits and goggles, though only one breathing tank. It was somewhat ransacked from when Garrett had it, leaving only bits and pieces in some areas. Needless to say, Skye got the oxygen tank.

Though it wasn't without another discussion. This one included his former SO and the condition he'd left the aircraft in. Ward had had to work hard trying to make sure his thoughts stayed on his current operation: to help Skye.

Fabio smiled as he took the chain when they neared the cave. "Ok! So now we all lean back. The tide is, eh, pretty high, so you must make sure your head is touching the bottom of the boat. Everybody knows everybody, so don't be afraid to get close!"

Coulson, who was just behind Fabio, looked back at Skye and Ward. He flashed Skye a reassuring smile, just before dropping it as he gave Ward an almost cold glare.

Ward didn't really understand why until Skye had placed her head almost directly onto his chest, forcing him backwards as well. The familiar softness of her hair caught his skin for a moment and the feeling pricked at his memory. His first thoughts were good ones, but it then entered his mind that the last times he had even touched Skye were when he was securing her as a prisoner and while she was screaming from her nightmare.

This all crossed his mind rather quickly because as soon as he lay down as well, Skye was able to maneuver herself away so her head was just next to him. Clutching her oxygen tank and shimmying sideways to give Coulson's head more headroom, she stared at him with a cool indifference.

"Is something wrong?" he asked her, seeming to put her off. Maybe it sounded rude, but lately, any time he spoke to Skye appeared to get her in a bad mood.

"Just wondering if in all those trips you took around the world as a specialist, did you ever actually stop and think about where you were?" she asked. "Or what cool and most likely awesome things might be around you?"

"Of course I did," he told her, and her eyebrows shot up. "I'd have to check the parameter on any op I'd go on."

Skye gave an overdramatic roll of her eyes, glancing away with mild disappointment.

They were through the hole in a few seconds, in which Fabio told them they could come "up, up!" which they did. It was pitch black when they entered and Coulson immediately pulled out the waterproof flashlights they'd brought. A small corridor later and they were in a large orb of a room.

"This is the main area!" exclaimed Fabio. "The flashlight does not make it blue, so it is a, well, disappointing sight compared to the daytime."

"No, this is good," Coulson told him. "Thank you. How long can we stay?"

Fabio shrugged. "How long can you pay for? Haha! Take your time, I do not need sleep."

Coulson nodded. "Sounds like a plan. Skye?"

"Already on it, sir," she said, and not a moment later there was a loud splash.

Skye was in the water, goggles on and flashlight in one hand. She'd left the oxygen tank in the boat.

Ward turned sideways to see Coulson looking at him expectantly, so he hopped in after her.

"We'll do a preliminary search, determine if we need to bother with the oxygen or not," said Skye seriously, getting into mission mode. She looked at Ward. "Ready?"

"Ladies first."

He could have sworn he saw her give him a quaint half-smile, just before diving downward. He followed.

Skye dolphin kicked her way down as far as she could go. They'd both donned flippers so they could swim through the water faster, but the force of the water coming off of them made sure Ward stayed a few feet behind her as she swam.

When she reached the bottom, her eyes began scanning the area straight away. Ward joined her in the search. It wasn't too long before he noticed the strange looking rocks near the bottom, and his heart began slipping into his stomach. He really hoped to not find anything.

He motioned to Skye, and they both moved towards the unusual lumps.

She swam up to them, caressing gently at first, but only for a moment before turning on the heat additive to her flash light. It only made the water slightly warming, so not to induce the actual "Terragenesis", the process through which the Inhumans gained their powers. Fitz had installed them to make the crystals glow blue when the light shined on them.

The strange rocks immediately lit up with a turquoise hue, the source coming from underneath the lumps. When Ward moved closer he could see even more: something that appeared to be crystal underneath the coarse rock that covered it.

Skye began to pull on them. They didn't budge. When Ward noticed her small flinching in her attempts, he realized she was trying to use her sewn hand. Simmons had put something on it so the water wouldn't irritate it, but pulling on rough stones couldn't be good for the injury. And was probably painful.

Ward gently moved her hand away. Despite the tightening in his chest as it reminded him he needed oxygen, Ward tried to pick up the stone himself. With a great tug he was able to retrieve one piece from the bunch. With her pointer finger, Skye then motioned upwards, as her lungs were probably burning just as bad as his. He nodded and they began their assent.

When they reached the surface, both burst through the threshold eagerly as they heaved the cave's air.

"Find anything?" asked Coulson, leaning over the side of the boat.

"Yes," Ward told him, still breathing heavily. "This."

The specialist opened his palm to inspect the little crystal. There was still rock coating the edge of it. It wasn't glowing anymore, but still definitely blue in color. He paddled over to Coulson to show him.

"So that's it?" panted Skye, looking at it over his shoulder. "That's the Terrigen thing?"

"Seems like it," Coulson said with a weight of disappointment, which Ward could share the feeling. Skye seemed… unfazed. Not surprising.

"You should take the tank," she said suddenly. "Since you have an easier time getting them out, you can stay down there while I'll go back and forth to put them on the boat."

Ward donned a confused face for a moment, remembering that they had agreed early on Skye would be the one to have it. She read his thoughts from the hesitation.

"This makes more sense," Skye said as she pranced around in the water, trying to stay above it with her treading. Her method was incredibly strange. Ward wondered briefly where or even when she'd learned to swim. Did they teach them at the orphanage?

"Listen to her, Ward," warned Coulson when he still didn't go for the oxygen, snapping him out of his thoughts and onto other ones.

Right, the conditions.

There were already simple rules that came with him staying on the team to help Skye, even with the tracking bracelet. But coming out into the field made sure they were clearly reiterated. Everyone on the team was to be treated as his superior. This meant following orders from all of them, even if it wasn't their area of expertise, which definitely wasn't something Ward was used to. But Coulson made it very quite evident Ward wouldn't have any second chances before being thrown back into a cell. He wasn't even sure if the man had meant back on the BUS or in some prison.

Skye's mouth twitched at a smug smile she tried to suppress, obviously finding her ability to be the boss of Ward amusing. He suppressed the urge to roll his eyes.

"Fine," he said, grabbing the tank out the boat. He quickly pulled it around himself and secured the mask to his face. It didn't take him very long in his opinion, but Skye began fidgeting with impatience.

"Well come on, Ghostbuster, we don't have all day," Skye said as she gestured towards the water. "Cause if you don't, then who we gonna call?"

This time Ward did roll his eyes.

They spent the next few minutes mining, Skye taking a few crystals at a time back up to Coulson. He wasn't really sure how many they were supposed to get. They'd discovered the complete bottom of the cave was covered with them, but he decided he was going to keep gathering until they told him to stop.

Skye had just waited for him to fish out a fourth one when she seemed at her capacity for holding her breath, taking it quickly and swimming up to the top. It was the first time Ward got a good look at her swimming.

Ward watched her breathlessly, despite having oxygen readily available. With the flashlight add-on shining at the crystals, the grotto had lit up with a dim shine of blue and the clean seawater was incredibly clear. The strange hue lit up all her curves and edges as she swam and he soon found himself thinking about feelings he was trying so hard to compartmentalize in his own mind since he'd been back with the team.

As he watched her, this girl so excited to be here and pushing aside all the circumstances that had led them to this place, he made a decision. Ward knew he had no right to think this way and he was aware she was in no way his and could never be, but he couldn't help but think it.

He wouldn't lose her.

Skye was ringing out her hair. The ponytail felt heavy on her head and she needed to dry out the wet mop as quickly as possible. She actually tended to get headaches if she let her thick hair drag her down for too long.

They were back on the speedboat. When Skye had gone down one last time to motion for Ward to come up, he seemed distracted. He still seemed distracted; his eyes would glaze over and she could tell he was deep in thought.

Weirdly, he would always settle his sightless gaze on her.

Coulson was talking with Fabio in the front. When he saw how much the grotto was glowing and what they were bringing up, the man got curious and stuttered quite a bit in his confusion. But a few extra dollars quieted him.

The men leaving Skye alone gave her time to think, something she'd rather not waste her remaining days doing. She shook her head. See, that was exactly why she didn't want to be thinking.

She got up abruptly and plopped herself down next to Ward. With hands in his lap, he seemed to be fairly deep in thought as well.

"I'm tired of hating you," she declared, trying to look into his eyes to keep up her determined attitude, "even though you still deserve it."

She needed to get this over with. May had told her to talk with Ward a bit ago and she still hadn't done it. Now she needed to make sure she could have the chat while she had the chance.

"I know I do," Ward breathed. His regretful tone made her own soften.

"Why'd you do it, Ward?" she asked, unsuccessfully trying to keep the pain she felt from hitting her voice.

He sighed. "I did it for Garrett. Completely. I swear I have no allegiance towards Hydra. And I know that may seem hard to believe because I killed Garrett but… he wasn't the same. He would never be the same. It just had to happen."

"I believe you," Skye said softly, only just realizing her words to be the truth as they left her mouth. "It's obvious Garrett had a hold on you. But you still killed people, for Hydra or for Garrett, and that's on you," she told him firmly, watching his eyes flicker for a moment before they softened again.

"I know. I'm not trying to pass the blame on my actions. I'm just trying to let you understand for the future."

Skye nodded quickly. "No, I get all that. Hydra or not, I get that you were undercover. I get that you had to come on Coulson's team. A spy on a mission. But being my SO? Being our friend? Was any of it… real?"

Ward took a moment, letting his breath run passed his lips in a deep exhale. "I agreed to be your SO because you were an unknown variable. It was smart, tactically."

Skye expected this. She didn't like it, but she expected it.

"And May?" she asked.

"As a primary threat I thought I could… distract her."

"Wow. So no feelings for her at all?"

"I never had feelings for her." He shook his head suddenly, seeming to think of a rephrase. "What I mean is, I never even claimed to have feelings for her. Same with her to me." He paused, as if deciding whether or not to say anything else. "That was always you. But you knew that."

"Did I?" she asked him curiously.

"Yes. I told you when…" he faltered. Skye knew why.

"When you were interrogating me," she finished for him, nodding her head as the memories began swimming in to fill it. She felt her anger begin to boil. "You professed your true feelings for me right after you handcuffed me to a staircase, and right before you brought Deathlok down to torture information out of me."

"Yes," Ward agreed, readily accepting the harsh truths. "I never wanted it to go that far. I honestly believed I could get you to talk to me. When you wouldn't, I let the situation get out of hand."

"What would you have done?" Skye snapped, eyes squinted and truly curious. "If Mike had really hurt me, would you have tried to stop it? Or would you really have just… watched?" she added, unable to hide her repulsion.

"I… hope I would have stopped it. But Garrett would have... Jesus, I don't know. I don't. I honestly don't know what I would have done." He put his head in his hands, looking more vulnerable than Skye thought she'd ever seen him as one hand ran frantically this his hair. "God, I am so, so sorry Skye."

Skye's interest piqued, quieting the rage in her stomach that was building from bringing up these experiences. She'd never heard him apologize like that before.

The girl stared, mouth slightly ajar but with no words coming out at the very desperate looking man in front of her. She couldn't find the words to say, so he continued.

"All I care about is you, nothing else. You are honestly the only reason I'm here," he told her. "I just want to find a way to help you."

He seemed to add that part, quieting Skye's curiosities that he may be there for her in other ways. Non-platonic ways. Which he still obviously was, or at least it was obvious the emotions were there, but it was clear he was not expecting requited feelings.

"That's… that's pretty heavy Ward."

"I know how it sounds. But it's the truth," Ward told her, and it sounded so real. She did believe him.

Skye grinned. Soon the smile met her eyes and she opened her mouth until she was giggling. Not quite a hysterical laugh, but the situation was just so amusing.

"What?" asked Ward, sounding curious, and perhaps slightly concerned.

"It's just that, I guess we're finally getting around to that honest conversation," Skye chuckled, just before her humor quieted down. She shook her head slightly. "I will just never be able to tell, no matter how much I want to or really do believe it, that what you're ever saying is the truth."

"I understand you can never trust me again," Ward restated, nodding gloomily. "And I know I don't deserve it, or should even ask for it, I sure as hell don't expect it but…" he sighed. "Do you think you'll ever be able to forgive me?"

Skye clicked her heals together, making sure to look anywhere but his eyes. The wet suit sloshed as it made contact.

"I don't know," she said earnestly, before attempting to give him a small smile of reassurance. "But I'm trying."

It grew quiet again, and Skye decided she'd rather be alone and think then sit awkwardly next to someone and think, if they both were just going to stay in their own heads. She got up to walk back to her seat. Before she could take a step, Ward grabbed her wrist and she turned around to catch his gaze.

"Please don't die, Skye."

It caught her off guard; the sudden change of subject as she felt her mouth drop open.

Why did he even have to bring that up? That's exactly what she was trying to avoid by talking to him. They were having a pretty emotionally charged conversation anyway and he had to go begging for her not to save a species.

Skye stared directly at his face, scowling. "I guess I'm just seeing the big picture here, Ward. You've never been too good at that, have you?"

His face crumpled from pleading to distraught with the sentence, and Skye worried whether she just opened up floodgates with the reminder of how his former SO treated him, despite just having talked about the man. Maybe he was somehow avoiding the actual thought behind what he'd lost even as they discussed it.

Because she could see it now as she stared in his seemingly depthless eyes: the begging to her had been a plea, made by a broken man with nothing left. He must have been truthful for not being Hydra. Because if he were Hydra, he'd at least have something. His current state was nothing less than what he deserved, but she couldn't help but realize his life was over. He'd followed a man that manipulated him into the fray only to destroy his own savior in the end. He betrayed everyone. SHIELD, Hydra. There was no one left to pick him up.

The only thing he was clinging to now was her.

"I'm sorry. That was… harsh," she said as the realization hit her. As his stupid puppy-dog pout bore into her, making it clear the robot did indeed have feelings. "But I'm going to do what I think is right."

He took a deep breath, trying to hide what was incredibly obvious disappointment in his hurt eyes, just before opening his mouth to say something.

"And we are back!" announced Fabio.

Ward released her wrist and she glanced up to the front eagerly, seeing Fabio pulling the boat in and Coulson brushing off his suit as he stood up. The speedboat quieted down as Fabio drove it into the dock to park it.

"Is good, so we can all go to sleep, yes?" asked Fabio.

"Si," said Coulson. "Grazie mille, Fabio."

"Prego!" he exclaimed as he pulled the boat in, gesturing them to get off the ramp. They filed off the boat in a perfunctory manner, before saying goodbye to the man.

Skye stared at the ground, reeling as she realized she couldn't even begin to comprehend what was going on in Ward's mind and how much that man had twisted him. Ward had killed Garrett, the one person he thought of as his real family. What was more, he'd done it to protect her.

Well, boo-hoo for him. She was going to do it if she had to. Because, when she really thought about it, she deserved to feel more down on the situation than someone she didn't even know if she could forgive did, even if she had lingering feelings for him.

She felt a hand squeeze her shoulder and turned her head to meet Coulson's concerned face. He must have noticed her deep-in-thought stare.

"Hey, we still have some things we have to figure out," Coulson assured her, probably assuming she was letting the fact that they found the crystals get to her. "And there is no way you are doing that in two weeks. We'll tell Wolfe when we get back to the BUS that, if you truly decide you want to do it, it won't be this year."

"But-"

"No buts. I'm not letting a valuable agent go any sooner than I have to," he told her, before quietly adding, "I'm not going to let you go any sooner than I have to."

Skye hated these people. She loved them and she hated them. To go out with a purpose would have been such an easy decision just a couple years earlier. She'd had nothing and no one. Not a bloodline or even a last name.

Now she had a family. And she so wasn't thinking about Wolfe.

Despite how hard she tried to hide it, to fight it, she couldn't imagine willingly leaving them behind.

A/n: OK this was waaaaaay longer than it was supposed to be. Love it? Hate it? Let me know, reviews make me post faster! Though if you hate it, perhaps not... but I'll know what to improve!

Next up: Maybe some action? Maybe some Fitzsimmons? We'll seeeeee!

Btw we're probably gonna hang out in Italy a while. It's just easy for me to write lol

And thank you thank you thank you Shadow375. This chapter would have been hideous without her. And would have had a different title as she thought of that too.