Chapter 15

Emily

It was January 6th; their last day off before school started back again, and Emily still hadn't told Paige about Hanna.

It wasn't technically her fault though; her dad had made a surprise visit home on New Year's Day, much to Emily and her mom's delight. They hadn't seen him in over a month and hadn't expected to see him any time soon. They were even more surprised when he'd told them some training programmes needed to be rescheduled to work more efficiently and that the army base wouldn't need him for two weeks.

Emily was ecstatic, but that also meant she had been busy and hadn't found the time to tell Paige yet.

Okay, that wasn't exactly true; she was pretty sure she could have managed to squeeze the information out if she had really wanted to, but instead she chose to allow the time they did have together to be filled with activities that didn't involve a lot of talking.

Like now, for instance.

Her parents had gone out for lunch and Emily had swiftly called Paige to come over; she was currently lying underneath Emily wearing only panties.

Paige moaned against her as Emily pushed a thigh up into her centre, Paige grinding down into her hard. Emily teased Paige's lips with her own, brushing across them ever so lightly, flicking the tip of her tongue out over Paige's mouth with a smirk.

Paige smiled, lifting her head off the pillow to nip at her bottom lip before kissing her properly, sliding a hand down her back and into her underwear, grabbing her ass and pushing Emily down into her thigh.

Emily groaned, biting along Paige's jaw softly as their bodies moved against each other, slowly increasing in speed until Emily remembered that she wanted to try something and suddenly pulled back, removing her thigh from Paige's core. Paige growled in frustration, causing Emily to snort in laughter, the frown in Paige's head flattening as she became aware of her own impatience.

"Sorry," Paige sighed. "Just, what are you doing?"

Emily didn't answer; instead, she shifted so that she was straddling Paige's thighs, bracing an arm either side of Paige's head and looking into her eyes as she began to lower her hips down.

Paige's mouth opened in a silent gasp of pleasure as Emily rubbed her centre against Paige's, whose eyes fluttered closed as Emily bit her lip with a moan. She ground down softly, sending spikes of arousal through her body, her stomach flipping.

A high pitched noise escaped the back of Paige's throat as Emily began to move against her more steadily, her hands roaming all over Emily's back and ass. "Em," Paige moaned as Emily quickened the pace, her hips rolling faster and faster into Paige as she squirmed beneath her.

Paige moved her hands to Emily's front, palming her breasts before leaning up to take a nipple into her mouth, Emily's back arching into her.

Although their underwear was creating amazing friction and she could easily come from continuing, this wasn't what Emily wanted to try. "Actually," she started as her hips slowed, "I have a better idea." She quickly shifted backwards, slipping off her soaked through underwear before hastily removing Paige's, unable to resist quickly dipping her head and running her tongue over Paige's exposed clit, sucking lightly, Paige's hips bucking into her mouth.

She lifted her head, meeting Paige's eyes and feeling even more aroused at the way she was looking at her; so open; so full of want. Emily kneeled on the bed, curling her hand around Paige's left calf and lifting her leg up, stretching it back gently so that the top of Paige's thigh was brushing against her stomach. "Is this okay?" Emily asked to make sure it wasn't too uncomfortable for Paige.

"Yeah," Paige choked out, gulping, obviously catching on to what Emily was about to do.

Emily spread her knees wide, shuffling in as close to Paige as possible, straddling Paige's centre, both of them crying out as Emily connected their bodies; Emily now felt all of Paige pressing against her; words couldn't describe how incredible it felt.

She stared into Paige's eyes as she slowly began to move her hips, Paige's hands gripping the back of her thighs, locking her against her body. Emily was unable to resist looking down at where she was sliding against Paige's wetness, their clits brushing, a loud involuntary moan filling the room.

She used Paige's leg she was still holding up to support herself as she started to grind against her in shorter, sharper motions, Paige's fingernails digging almost painfully into the flesh of her thighs.

"Emily, fuck," she hissed, her eyes squeezing closed as Emily quickened the pace. "Yeah, faster." Emily obeyed Paige's command, struggling to control her breathing as she rocked harder against her, Paige using her hands on Emily's thighs to pull herself up to meet Emily's every thrust.

"Faster," Paige said again through gritted teeth.

Sweat was beginning to form on Emily's brow, moving against Paige as fast as she could, almost pounding against her, in desperate need of release, a continuous string of moans escaping from both of them, Emily unable to decipher Paige's from her own.

Paige's breath hitched; Emily took the cue, looking down to make sure her long drawn out grinds were fixated on Paige's clit, causing Paige to shudder violently beneath her, the wetness between them increasing as she came.

Emily gradually slowed her pace, riding out Paige's orgasm with her, before shifting back and lowering Paige's leg back onto the mattress, knowing that Paige would be too sensitive now for Emily to continue rubbing against her centre to get herself off.

Instead, she leaned down to kiss Paige briefly, trailing lazy kisses over her chest, before sitting up and grinding against the thigh she was now straddling, her hands running over Paige's breasts as she did so.

It didn't take her long; she had already been so close, and Paige was now watching her from under heavy eyelids, moaning softly. Emily jerked against Paige's thigh with a gasp, bliss overwhelming her. She slumped forward, unable to support herself any longer as her muscles gave way to exhaustion.

They lay in silence while they got their breath back, Paige eventually shifting onto her side to meet Emily's eyes with a lazy smile, her hand pushing Emily's hair back from her sweaty forehead.

Emily grinned back at her, sliding over to kiss her gently. "So," Paige murmured. "What was that?" She was looking at her in such wonder that Emily couldn't help but laugh.

She traced her thumb over Paige's bottom lip. "I may or may not have seen an online video the other day…"

Paige's eyes widened slightly. "You watch porn?"

Emily kissed Paige again. "Sometimes," she admitted. "Don't you?"

Paige gave her a smirk that told her all she needed to know. "You're just full of surprises, aren't you?" Emily smiled, her hand tangling in the back of Paige's hair and pulling her mouth to hers to squash down the guilt that surfaced at the words.

She had to tell her; she couldn't keep putting this off.

Paige pulled back, stroking her cheek as she said, "I love you."

Damn it, Paige.

Emily's chest ached at hearing those words for the second time; she'd been beginning to worry that Paige really had only said it the first time because she had been drinking. Her brief urge to tell her about Hanna began to dissipate. She couldn't ruin this moment.

"I love you, too" she smiled, letting happiness consume her and burying her face in Paige's neck.

Paige

When she walked into school on Monday morning, she couldn't avoid the prom posters that had been plastered on what seemed like every wall they passed. "Wow," Emily said beside her. "Looks like the prom committee went all out."

"No wonder," Paige replied. "Spencer's on it." They rounded the corner to see Spencer and Hanna by the lockers. "Speaking of…"

"So, what do you think?" Spencer asked excitedly as they approached her. "Do you think the posters are noticeable enough?"

Paige shot Emily and Hanna a wide-eyed look. "Um, yeah, Spence; you could say that."

Spencer laughed. "Okay, good. I hope I can get in everyone's ticket orders fast so we can start booking and ordering stuff." She pulled a notebook and pen out of her bag. "You guys can be first. Hanna, I guess I'll put you and Caleb down?"

Hanna nodded with a grin. "I can't wait; Caleb in a tux," she swooned. Spencer smiled into her notebook as she wrote down their names. "Paige?"

"Yeah, put me down," she replied quickly. She made a show of checking the time, saying, "I need to get to class; I need to talk to Miss Archer about a project before the bell rings." She almost managed to escape Spencer's next question.

"Paige! Wait; should I put you down for a plus one?" She could feel them all looking at her expectantly, but she kept her gaze fixed on Spencer.

"Uh…"

"You've got like, five months to find someone," Spencer pointed out, raising her eyebrows as she lowered her pen to the paper.

"Put me down for a maybe?" Paige finally said, shooting Emily a quick glance; she was looking at her feet, obviously hurt. Paige gritted her teeth. "Wait, no, never mind. Just put me down for one; that'll be fine."

"Paige, you've messed up my first page," Spencer groaned as she ripped the paper out of her notebook to start again.

Paige didn't care though; Emily had looked back up at her and was giving her a small smile, her eyes warm.

"See you guys later," she said, turning around with a smile of her own, making her way to class and feeling proud she hadn't let her knee-jerk response get the better of her.

"So," Emily started, "I'm glad you corrected yourself this morning." They were sitting in Emily's car outside of Paige's house having just finished their afternoon swim practice. Emily took her hand, giving it a light squeeze.

"I'm glad too," Paige smiled.

They fell into silence, Emily staring at their hands, looking like she wanted to say something. "What?" Paige asked.

"What do you mean 'what'?" Emily frowned, looking up at her.

"Something's bothering you; I can tell. So, spill," she said. Emily sighed, looking back to their hands and beginning to play with Paige's fingers.

"It's just- I want to go to prom with you." She met her eyes hesitantly, obviously anticipating an explosion of 'no way's' to leave her mouth.

And she wasn't wrong to expect that; in fact, it took every ounce of Paige's willpower not to fall into that routine. She didn't say anything for a minute, instead deciding to think about what she wanted to say before just blurting out the first answer that came to mind.

"I don't know, Em," she finally said, trying to look into the future; if she was honest, she couldn't see it happening. In order to go to the prom as a couple, she would have to be out to everyone and that was just too much to think about right now; she shuddered.

Emily looked disappointed at her answer. "Look," Paige said. "We can still go together even if it's not together." She studied Emily's face to see if that consoled her any; it didn't. Then, before she knew it, she was saying, "If it helps any, I've been thinking about coming out to Spence, Hanna and Aria."

Emily's head shot up, Paige instantly seeing the hope flood into her eyes. Oh no, a voice in her head said. Why did you say that, idiot. You're just telling her what she wants to hear.

Paige gulped, wondering if that was true. The thought of telling them had flitted through her mind, but she wasn't exactly planning on how and when to tell them. She shouldn't have said anything until she was sure; she didn't want to disappoint Emily by not being able to follow through.

She just couldn't bear to see Emily looking sad.

"Seriously?" Emily said, sounding pleasantly surprised. "That's great, Paige." She gripped her hand tighter in her excitement. "Really great. Have you thought about when you might? Tell them, I mean."

No, no, no.

She could already feel the pressure pressing down on her, her heartbeat starting to quicken. "I don't know yet; I just said I was thinking about it," she said hastily, trying to dampen Emily's hopes slightly, and even though Emily dimmed her smile slightly, Paige could tell by the look in her eyes that the message hadn't gotten through properly.

Shit.

Emily

She drove home with a grin on her face, having just dropped Paige off.

This was the best news; she wouldn't need to tell Paige about Hanna after all; Paige could tell Hanna herself that she was gay. Paige coming out when she was ready and on her own terms would be so much better for her rather than Emily having to spring the information on her that Hanna already knew.

Emily could tell that she had spooked Paige when she had gotten over-excited, but she couldn't help it; this was what she had been waiting for; what they had been waiting for.

There was still a way to go, but Paige coming out to their friends would be a huge step in the right direction, and she couldn't suppress the hope that was swelling inside of her.

This was it- they were heading towards where she and Paige could actually be in a proper relationship together.

Paige

It was Wednesday afternoon and she'd just finished setting up her chemistry experiment. Since it would take ten minutes for anything to happen, she asked to be excused to use the bathroom.

She made her way down the stairs quickly, smiling at the good timing when she saw the back of Emily, who was on a free period, disappearing into the bathroom at the other end of the hall. Emily hadn't seen her yet; hopefully no one else would be in there. Paige was already imagining running her hands over Emily's body as she pushed her against the wall, kissing down her neck…

As she approached the door, she heard people talking. Her heart sank in disappointment, the fantasy coming to an end.

She suddenly registered whose voices she could hear. It was Emily and Hanna.

She grinned, about to push the door open when a line of the conversation made her stop. Paige's smile faded, quickly looking around the empty hallway before pressing her ear to the door, listening intently.

"I can't believe you still haven't told her," Hanna was saying.

"No, Hanna, listen. I don't need to; she's going to tell you herself. Trust me; it's better this way," Emily stated. "Less anxiety."

Paige swallowed hard, her heart rate increasing.

"But what if that takes months, Em? You told me she only said she was thinking about it, not that she was actually gonna do it."

No. No - she wouldn't. Emily wouldn't have said anything. This has to be about something else.

There was a silence in the bathroom, Paige waiting with bated breath for Emily's reply, her chest almost aching as her heart pounded against her ribcage.

"Look, I'll give it a few weeks, and if it doesn't look like she's gonna come out any time soon, I'll tell her about you knowing."

Paige felt all the air leave her as the words sank in; Emily was talking to Hanna about her; about them.

Her body seemed to have a mind of its own; she slammed a hand against the door, throwing it open. Both Emily and Hanna visibly jumped.

"Paige!" Emily exclaimed, her eyes widening in shock. "What are you doing here?"

"What were you guys just talking about?" she said as evenly as she could manage, but her voice sounded shaky to her own ears. She was having trouble taking a breath.

Emily's mouth opened and closed repeatedly as Hanna ran a hand through her hair and looked down at the floor, exhaling heavily.

Paige closed her eyes. "What were you talking about?" she repeated when she didn't receive an answer, angrier this time; louder. She opened her eyes slowly, waiting, desperate for Emily to say something that would make sense of this.

"Paige-"

"Did you tell Hanna?" she whispered, tears beginning to pool in her eyes, a sense of shock overtaking her body. "About us?"

"Paige, it's not like that," Emily pleaded, taking a step towards her; Paige took a step back.

"Don't," she growled, Emily freezing instantly. She gripped the edge of the door tightly, staring at a spot on the floor with wide eyes, her vision blurring over with tears. "How could you do this to me?" she gasped, more to herself than Emily.

"Paige," Emily begged; she was crying now; Paige could hear it in her voice. "Please let me explain." Paige saw Emily's feet begin to move towards her again.

She let go of the door, moving out of the bathroom quickly and retreating back down the hall. She could hear Emily following after her, but she didn't stop; couldn't stop. Emily tried to grab her hand, but she snatched it out of her grasp.

She heard a sob behind her as Emily's footsteps slowed, a muffled "Paige" echoing down the empty corridor that sounded so raw that she almost turned back.

But she didn't; she continued back to class, sitting down at her desk, totally on autopilot. She felt numb, unable to process what had just happened.

She didn't know the details. All that was clear was that Hanna knew she was gay, and that Emily had lied to her; she wasn't sure which was worse.

She felt a hot tear trail down her cheek.

"Yo, Earth to Paige." She shook her head, wiping her face quickly and turning to see David, her lab partner, looking at her with a concerned expression. "You don't look so good. You okay?"

"Actually, I'm feeling a bit sick," Paige managed to choke out past the lump in her throat. "I think I need to go home. Can you explain to Mr Reed that I needed to go home?" Her teacher was currently busy talking to some students a few tables over and wouldn't even notice her leave.

"Sure," David said looking sympathetic, patting her shoulder briefly.

Paige quickly packed up her stuff and left the classroom, breathing in deeply through her nose as she walked down the hallway, managing to keep herself together until she was in the parking lot.

She broke down completely, taking big gasping breaths of the fresh air between her sobs, feeling dizzy and having to lean against a wall to support herself.

She had never felt so betrayed; she had trusted Emily utterly and completely in every way, and she had been lying to her.

How could she do this?

Was it just Hanna that knew? Or did Spencer? Did Aria? Did everyone?

Paige suddenly felt so angry that she almost punched the wall, only just managing to stop herself by remembering how that turned out the last time she had felt this level of rage; except this time the rage wasn't directed at herself.

This time it was directed at Emily.

After walking around the park for an hour or two, she realised she had nowhere else to go but home; hopefully her parents would still be at work. She couldn't be bothered to listen to them complain about her skipping her last two classes and swim practice.

She walked home slowly, her feet heavy and her head pounding from all the crying. She opened the front door cautiously, listening carefully for any sign that she wasn't alone.

Hearing nothing, she closed the door with a sigh, making a beeline for her bedroom. She dumped her bag, jacket and shoes on the floor before crawling into her bed, pulling the covers over her head in an attempt to block out the world, praying that she would wake up and find this had all been a horrible nightmare.

A distant banging slowly roused her; someone was knocking on the front door. She squeezed her eyes shut even tighter, willing the noise away.

"Fuck off," she hissed under her breath when it continued, persistent. After what felt like five minutes, it finally stopped.

The next time she woke, her mom was pulling her covers off of her head, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Why are you in bed? Shouldn't you be at swim practice?"

"I came home early," she grumbled, closing her eyes again. "I'm not well."

"What's wrong?" she asked. Paige felt her run a hand up and down her arm in comfort. The lump returned to her throat, her voice thick as she just simply stated, "I'm sick." And it wasn't a lie; she really did feel sick.

"Okay, just rest then; you can let me know if you want anything to eat later." And with that, her mom left, Paige instantly pulling the covers over her head again, a tear running over the bridge of her nose.

She wasn't sure how much time passed, but she didn't sleep again. She couldn't.

She resorted to staring blankly up at the ceiling, watching the room become dimmer and dimmer as the day wore on, her fingers absent-mindedly playing with the ring on her thumb. Her emotions flitted between sadness, worry, anger and nothingness; a continuous cycle going on and on inside her head.

The cycle broke when she heard a knock on the front door again; panic consumed her. She had a good idea who it was, and she knew that either her mom or dad wouldn't let the door go unanswered.

"Hey, Mrs McCullers," she heard Hanna's voice echo from downstairs. "Is Paige in?"

"Oh, nice to see you, Hanna, but Paige isn't feeling very well; a sickness bug or something."

"Yeah," Hanna replied quickly. "I know; I just wanted to check she was alright. And actually, I really need to borrow a book from her; is it okay if I just run up? I'll be quick."

Paige hastily turned onto her side so that she was facing away from the door as she heard someone coming up the stairs. She heard her bedroom door opening slowly with a creak. "Paige?" Hanna said tentatively; Paige ignored her.

She heard a huff and the sound of the door shutting, her bed dipping as Hanna sat on it. "Paige, look; I know you're mad, but you need to at least hear what actually happened. Emily knows you don't want to see her right now, so she asked me to tell you everything."

Paige stared resolutely at the wall, refusing to give Hanna any indication that she was listening. "Paige," Hanna groaned at her lack of reaction. She sighed. "You could have at least answered your phone, by the way, to let us know you were okay; we didn't know where you were."

Paige had turned her phone off the moment she had seen Emily trying to phone her; it was still in her jacket pocket, lying in a crumpled heap on the floor.

"Okay, I'm just gonna assume you'll listen if I start talking," Hanna stated, taking in a breath. "So, I saw the hickey you gave Emily-"

"Shhh," Paige hissed, sitting up, finally looking at Hanna, her gaze flicking to the door. "Lower your voice." The last thing she needed was for her parents to overhear this conversation.

"Sorry," Hanna said, lowering her voice to just louder than a whisper, giving her a flicker of a smile. Paige kept her face neutral, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her chin on her knees, looking straight ahead as she waited for Hanna to continue. "So, I spotted the hickey, and Emily got really antsy about it, trying to pass it off as a burn or something; but I didn't buy it. I managed to get the info out of her that she was seeing someone, but she refused to tell me who."

Hanna paused a moment, giving Paige a chance to digest the information. All Paige remembered was Emily telling her directly that no one had seen the hickey or asked about it; her anger flared up once again. She had been lying to her for weeks.

"That was all I knew up until New Year's Eve, when I found your old Sharks hoodie -which you should have burned, to be honest- in Emily's bed. Emily told me it was hers, but I noticed the hole in the sleeve, and Emily started acting really weird; I finally put two and two together." Paige could feel Hanna looking at her. "So, Emily didn't tell me anything. I worked it out all on my own, okay? Emily almost cried because she was so afraid of how you'd react once she told you; afraid that you'd call the whole thing off- but, she was going to; it's my fault that she didn't tell you on New Year's; I told her not to, so if you want to blame anyone, blame me."

If Hanna magically thought everything was going to be fine again after the explanation she had just given then she was sorely mistaken; Paige didn't budge, still staring blankly at the wall.

Hanna sighed yet again. "God; don't you think you're being a tad melodramatic?"

Hanna didn't get it.

"Emily said you were thinking about telling us anyway?" she said gently. "Doesn't this make it easier, in a way?"

Hanna really didn't get it.

She'd had the decision ripped away from her; maybe she would have properly considered coming out to her friends as the days went on, but she felt like that possibility had evaporated now. She wasn't ready for people to know; for anyone but Emily to know. She knew that now.

"Paige, I don't care that you're gay." She flinched at the words. They didn't sound right coming from Hanna's mouth. "And I think you and Em are perfect together; please don't hold this against her; she was only trying to look out for you."

Tears welled in her eyes once again, her bottom lip quivering as she tried to hold it in. "Hey," Hanna said softly, putting a hand on her back.

Paige broke down, deep wracking sobs making her body convulse as she buried her face against her knees. She felt Hanna pull her into her side, running her hand up and down her arm. "It's okay, Paige; it's okay," she whispered, causing Paige to cry harder.

Nothing was okay.

The tears eventually stopped, Paige pulling away from Hanna, embarrassed, wiping her face with her bed covers.

She felt exhausted.

"Where's your phone?" Hanna asked.

"In my jacket pocket," Paige sniffed, flicking her hand in the direction of the floor. Hanna stood up to retrieve it, turning it on before she threw it onto the bed beside her. "Call Emily; text Emily; whatever, just please speak to her. Let her tell you her side of things."

"I can't," Paige said, her voice hoarse. "Not right now." She was still too angry; too raw. She wanted to be more in control of herself before she spoke to her, at the risk of saying something she might regret.

"Well, will I tell her you'll speak to her tomorrow? I need to tell her something; she'll go crazy."

"Just tell her I need some space and I'll speak to her when I'm ready," she snapped, looking in the direction of her window.

Hanna took a moment to respond, before saying, "Okay," quietly. She heard her move to leave, before she suddenly added, "I know I might not understand what you're going through, but I'm here if you need to talk; about anything, okay?"

Paige could only nod, unable to look at Hanna, feeling extremely emotional again. Who knew you could cry this many tears in a day?

Hanna finally left. Paige lay back down on the bed, turning onto her side and staring at her phone. Against her better judgement, she picked it up, seeing she had five texts, four missed calls and one voice message, all of them from either Emily or Hanna.

All of the texts were variants of 'Please, Paige, where are you?' or 'Please call me.'

She clicked on the voicemail; Emily's choked up voice filled her ear.

Paige, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have had to find out like that; I should have told you as soon as Hanna found out. I thought I was protecting you; I knew you weren't ready for anyone to know and I didn't want to add to your anxiety. And - I was just so worried- worried that if I told you, that you wouldn't want to be with me anymore out of fear of someone else finding out. I was selfish; you deserved to know. I've made a huge mistake, I'm sorry. Please give me a chance to make things right. Hanna tried your house but you didn't answer. Please call or text either of us to let us know you're okay. I love you, Paige. Bye.

Paige was gripping the phone so tight that she was surprised that it didn't break. Her chest was aching for Emily to be here with her, but at the same time she was unable to forgive her in this moment. She tucked the hand holding the phone under her chin, closing her eyes and replaying Emily's words in her head.

I love you, Paige.

Emily

She had never grabbed her phone so fast in her life when she saw it light up.

"Did you find her?" Emily asked, sitting up in her bed.

"Yeah," Hanna replied, slightly breathless. Emily could hear her heels clicking on the ground as she walked. "She's home; I've just seen her."

"Thank god," she sighed. The knot in Emily's stomach loosened a fraction, glad that Paige hadn't jumped on a bus and disappeared; visions of that happening had plagued her mind all day. Paige had had a huge shock; Emily hadn't been sure what she would do. She couldn't get that wild look that had been in Paige's eyes in the bathroom out of her head. "And? How is she?" She chewed on her lip anxiously as she waited for Hanna to reply.

"Honestly, Em? Not good. I've never seen her like that before."

Emily felt sick. "Did you explain that I didn't tell you?" she asked desperately. She couldn't have Paige thinking she'd actually told Hanna about them; couldn't have her thinking that she'd betrayed her trust like that.

"I did," Hanna stated. "I don't know what she's thinking though; she didn't really talk much. She said she'll speak to you when she's ready, and just to give her some space right now."

Tears leaked from her eyes; the last thing she wanted was space between them. She wanted to go to Paige's, crawl into bed beside her and hold her close while she apologised over and over.

But, after what she had done, the least she could do was honour Paige's wishes. She just hoped Paige wouldn't leave her hanging too long. It was killing her already and it had only been a few hours.

Hanna must have sensed her upset. "Look, Em, she'll come 'round. I know she will," she said gently.

Emily wished she could share some of that surety. "I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow." They said goodbye, Emily slumping back onto her pillows, wondering how she could have been so stupid.

The sick hollow feeling in her stomach still hadn't disappeared as she walked into school the next morning after a fitful night's sleep. She was still waiting on hearing from Paige. She wasn't even sure if she would show at school today.

Her question was answered, however, just after first period when she was on her way to her next class. She was walking slowly, her arms holding her books close to her chest, when she happened to catch sight of Paige heading towards her down the hallway. Emily froze; Paige hadn't seen her yet. She was walking with her head bowed, not looking where she was going.

Paige looked up quickly when some asshole hit her shoulder as they walked by, not even bothering to apologise. Paige shook her head with a frown, turning to face forward again and stopping dead in her tracks when she met Emily's gaze.

The frown disappeared, but her expression turned stony, void of emotion, sending a stabbing pain into Emily's chest; she couldn't bear it. She spun on her heels, walking away in the opposite direction, hoping that Paige would come after her but knowing that that was a delusion.

She ended up skipping second period altogether. She knew she was going to get a phone call home; she had now missed three classes since yesterday, and she couldn't see herself going to English today either. Having to sit beside Paige would be too hard.

She sat in her car during lunch, avoiding Paige and the possible questions Spencer and Aria might throw at them. She decided just to stay in her car for the duration of English too. Near the end of the period, her phone buzzed.

Her heart leapt into her throat as she picked it up, only for disappointment to sink in when she saw it was only a text from Hanna.

Sending this to both of you to let you know you both missed lunch and english. This is dumb guys.

Emily let out a sharp, bitter laugh. Of course; Paige was going out of her way to avoid her too.

She quickly opened up a new message, hastily typing out a text to Paige.

You can go to swim practice, I won't be there.

She threw her phone angrily onto the passenger seat as she turned her key in the ignition and started to drive; she had no destination; she just had to drive.

It was dark by the time she got home. She had drove all the way to Philly, wandered around for a while, and then finally drove back to Rosewood when she eventually answered her phone to have her dad yell at her to "Get home now!"

She entered her house, going straight to the stairs.

"Emily!" her mom shouted shrilly from the living room. "Come here." Emily ignored her. She just wanted to be alone. "Emily!"

Emily walked into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her more violently than she intended. She sighed, pulling off her scarf and jacket, slumping onto her bed. She groaned quietly when she heard footsteps approaching her door.

Go away.

"Emily," her dad said, knocking the door before pushing it open and walking towards her, throwing his hands into the air. "What time do you call this? Going off to Philly on your own? Do you know how dangerous that is?" Emily just shrugged. "What's gotten into you? Skipping school and swim practice? You can't afford to be doing that; you know how important this year is to your future."

Emily clenched her jaw, showing that she wasn't going to reply. She didn't need a lecture; she knew her life was just a continuous string of mistakes right now. She didn't need her dad to tell her that. He sat down next to her. "Emmy, look at me." Emily stared pointedly at a spot on the bed. "Emmy." She eventually met her dad's eyes, blinking back tears. "Talk to me."

Emily swallowed, the truth almost spilling out of her. "Come on," her dad urged. "Something's bothering you; I can see it."

She didn't know if it was the need to be honest or the need to rip off all the band-aids at once, but she decided to tell him, the need to be honest winning over the anxiety forming in her stomach. "I'm gay."

His mouth opened as if he had just been winded, blinking rapidly as if he couldn't believe what had just come out of her mouth; he turned away from her. Emily bowed her head, a tear falling onto her lap; she watched it seep into the material of her jeans as they sat in silence, the feeling of failure suddenly overtaking her.

"You're sure?" he finally said, his voice sounding hollow. He looked over his shoulder at her.

"I'm sure," she said firmly, not backing down from the statement even though she was now a disappointment to her dad; to everyone.

Another silence followed as he processed the information, before he stood up. Emily gulped; was that it? Was that all he was going to say?

"Okay," he said, turning to look at her.

"Okay?"

He gave her the slightest flicker of smile, before bending down to kiss the top of her head. Emily hadn't realised how rigid she had been sitting until all her muscles relaxed. "I admit this is a surprise, but you'll always be my little girl and I love you no matter what."

Emily hugged her dad tightly, smiling through her tears; he didn't hate her.

He doesn't hate me.

They just held each other for a moment, Emily quietly saying, "Can you break it to Mom?" She was way more scared of how her mom was going to react.

"If that's what you want," he replied, pulling back from the hug.

"Thanks," she said. This would make this whole thing a little easier, not having to look into her mom's eyes as she realised that her daughter was no longer the ideal; no longer perfect. Her dad left, closing the door behind him.

Emily sat on her bed, her mind reeling, biting her lip nervously, knowing that her dad would be telling her mom right at this very moment.

She had done it; she had finally done it. She had no more secrets left to tell, and whatever happened now was out of her control. It was comforting, in a way.

She reached for her phone, ready to tell the person she loved most in the world that she had taken this huge step, only to pull her hand back quickly, her heart clenching painfully.

A/N: This was hard to write :( But I've been building to this point for a while now; things had to come crashing down eventually...

Thanks for the reviews, guys! You're awesome.