By : Shawnathan
Chapter Nine : Ex-Lives
[A/N : I think I may be getting excited about this again... R & R plz ]
[Disclaimer : I own nothing. All credit to Disney/Square Enix]
A beam of light broke through the window of Twilight University's eastern dorm, stirring its occupants into a state of semi-consciousness, a translucent "3:13 PM" displayed on the T.A.R.D.I.S. themed clock that rested on Zexion's bedside table. The events of the festival had been so intense, so overwhelming... much recovery time was needed after such an experience. Zexion stretched, feeling tendons stretch and joints pop as he yawned loudly. His senses had been in such a state of rapid and dynamic stimulation that he felt numb now, almost like he was under an anesthetic. Searching his mind, all in vain, Zexion found nothing... nothing he could say in any language would describe his experiences with Demyx, hallucinating an- Demyx! He had almost forgotten about the blonde goofball in his moment of contemplation. Luckily, he looked down and found a mess of blonde spikes buried in his chest. Demyx loved to do that for some reason, always snuggling up to him. Before this relationship, Zexion hadn't really understood the need for physical intimacy outside of sex. It hadn't translated well into his brain for some reason, and was probably a decisive reason for his previous relationships ending the way they did. Before he had time to dwell on those thoughts any further, Demyx started to wriggle around, struggling to move; Demyx was always like that in the mornings.
"Good morning sunshine." Zexion said, his deadpan voice dripping with sarcasm. He had just made a joke... sort of. Well that was new. Demyx groaned, reaching a hand up theatrically before finally committing to sitting up.
Demyx's head hurt, but not too bad. It had been a while since the last time he had taken a hallucinogen, and he'd forgotten how extraordinary it was... and how strained he felt afterward. It took a real toll on the body and mind, but it was entirely worth it as far as Demyx was concerned. He would remember that night for the rest of his life, even more so the way that it had ended...
[12:25 PM Saturday night, the festival grounds]
The question had come out of Zexion so suddenly that Demyx had sat in stunned silence for several moments. He had briefly considered that Zexion was just joking, or at least trying to, but the look in his eyes had suggested otherwise. Demyx's throat felt tight, the familiar knot forming, tears obscuring the vision that was only now returning to normal. "A-Are you... are you serious Zexion?" Demyx could still hardly believe it, cheeks ablaze with blush as he waited for a response from his lover, looking into one beautiful azure eye.
It took another few moments before Zexion was able to respond, but he had sat up in an effort to be somewhat serious, still holding Demyx's hand tightly. "What I said, I meant... I have been in relationships, I have dated, I have had sex, but... it all pales in comparison to what I have with you." He held Demyx's hand up to his lips, kissing it gently in an attempt at romanticism. "I want to make you mine for keeps, and this seems like the best way; you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I need you in my life. I love you, you silly blonde space-case, with more passion and intensity than I have ever loved another, or ever will. Will you be my... husband?" Zexion had hesitated, lingering on that last word, as it felt a bit strange rolling off the tongue. He certainly never thought he would be proposing to anyone, let alone this person, in this situation. He only hoped that it wasn't too soon, and that Demyx was as crazy in love as he was. Staring deeply into the teal eyes he loved so much, Zexion waited for a response... the ultimate response to the ultimate question, where love was concerned.
Demyx was practically choking, unable to contain himself. Husband? Zexion wanted to marry him? Processing the information was so difficult, but he knew he had to do it. Sitting up, Demyx wiped frantically at his eyes, squeezing Zexion's hand gently between his slender fingers. "I... Zexy, I'm so... this is..." He paused again, taking a moment to collect his thoughts, scattered as they often were. He loved Zexion, more than he had ever loved anyone else. That was enough right? They were both responsible adults... well, Zexion was. If this was what they wanted, who could deny them? Finally resolute, Demyx wiped his eyes clear once more before finally giving Zexion his answer. Leaning into a brief kiss, Demyx maneuvered to whisper the words into Zexion's ear, hugging him tightly and pulling him back down to the ground. "I love you more than anything else in this world Zexion, and I would be honored to be your husband. Please take good care of me."
The two embraced tightly in the grass, the rest of the world forgotten in that moment. The lights, the music, heads spinning as hallucinations gradually wore off... all were made void by the that one simple question and answer, silly as it seemed to Zexion. The pulsing in his head was slowly but surely beginning to die down, his muscles finally relaxing a little, when another thought hit him. He was now betrothed... he had a fiance. That was going to be some interesting news to present to his father, and what about Demyx's family? Zexion knew nothing about them, and had never met any of them. After a thought loop ensued, and began to make his head spin a little, he concluded that those issues could wait for another day, far in the future. For now, Zexion was content to hold his lover close, kissing at his forehead as the coolness of the wet grass eased their bodies' collective tension. Demyx let out what sounded like a sob, which made Zexion concerned for a moment, until their eyes reconnected. The expression he was met with was one of pure joy; elation in its purest and most authentic form. Smiling back, Zexion thought to himself that he had a new picture definition for the word "rapture".
[Zexion's dorm, 3:20 PM Sunday]
Demyx sat up, spikes all pointed to one side, the sensation of his feet touching the ground waking him up a little bit more. He turned to Zexion, smiling his brightest smile as the realization hit him again, like a punch. He was going to be married! It was such an exciting prospect, one that wouldn't have occurred to him before Zexion. Reaching out gently, he gave Zexion's shoulder a playful shove. "Good morning to you too, Zexy. Thanks for letting me stay here... I..." Demyx paused momentarily to adjust his hair, blushing awkwardly at the thought of how ridiculous it must have looked. "I didn't want to leave you after... well, you know..." He trailed off again, simply staring into Zexion's exposed eye, as had become his little ritual; his face, his body language, they all said more than his words ever could.
Body weight shifting to a more comfortable position, Zexion sat up next to Demyx, leaning onto his slender shoulder. "It's okay. You already know Sora doesn't care if you stay over. More to the point, I wanted you here." Zexion took hold of Demyx's hand as he spoke, his voice as confident as his face was proud. They had shared a brief kiss or two, subtle promises for more forming in their heads as each pulled away and rose to their feet. Zexion hadn't relinquished his hold on Demyx's hand, and followed him downstairs to the coffee shop in the dorm's ground floor. Zexion had chosen a simple black t-shirt and pajama pants to sleep in, which was fine with him for going out in public, but Demyx... was still wearing the same top from last night, and had changed into a pair of Daisy Duke jean shorts. Zexion wanted to reproach Demyx for the choice of attire, but he was somehow incapable. The sight was too much for him to possibly complain about. He blushed and directed his eyes to the ground when his stares earned him a "my eyes are up here, Zexy" from Demyx.
Zexion had offered to pay for their coffee, and found a decent place to sit, leaning back to back with Demyx on one of the couches. They had a great many things they might mull over together, and coffee seemed as good a start as any. Zexion cleared his throat after sipping silently for a while. "Do you feel as numb as I do? Is that normal?" He felt stupid starting the conversation that way, but it was something he legitimately did want to know.
Chuckling a bit, Demyx sipped happily at his latte, toes curling and stretching out, sandals forgotten on the floor somewhere. "Yes, it's normal Zexy, I promise. It'll fade in a few hours, if not then by tonight for sure." The caffeine was starting to do its job, Demyx's chatterbox side kicking in spontaneously. "So, I have a really cool idea Zexy! Hear me out before you judge, okay?" He waited for a moment, sipping his latte again before continuing. "I don't want you to feel pressured to buy an expensive ring, I honestly don't think either of us needs a bill like that right now... but there is another way." Zexion gave him a "hm?", which was enough of a signal for Demyx to continue. "Well, I thought it would be cool to get tattoos on our ring fingers. They don't have to be the same thing, or even match at all; just something to remind us of each other."
Zexion let out a skeptical sigh, back muscles stretching a little as he turned around, allowing Demyx's head to rest in his lap. "I'm not sure sure how I feel about that. I'm not opposed to the idea of getting a tattoo, but I don't know if I want one on my hand, at least not yet." Stroking Demyx's spikes, Zexion continued. "Maybe after we graduate. I have several positions being offered to me in the literary world, giving me options. There's a chance something like this wouldn't affect my standing, depending on which scenario fits best. Also-" Demyx had rolled over and crawled up toward him, face excited, so Zexion had put a finger to Demyx's lips to silence him. "I reserve the right to buy you a ring of some kind in the future, when I have a decent job and am making good money."
There was a pause, the sounds of coffee shop hustle and bustle being tuned out by both of them, Demyx kissing playfully at Zexion's fingers. "Okay, Zexy... acknowledgment and acceptance of terms." Demyx laughed when Zexion raised an eyebrow, burying his face in Zexion's shirt. "Internet." His response was greeted with laughs, the two of them cuddling up together.
Most of the students that were crowding around had gone, so Zexion took the opportunity to bring up the other thing that had been on his mind. "Demyx, will I... will I ever get the chance to meet your family?" He hoped that it was the right time to ask such a thing; family was a touchy subject for some people, and it had somehow never come up before, so he had no way of predicting how Demyx would react. "I would understand if you didn't want to talk about it, but..."
Demyx shook his head, draining the last of his latte before responding. "No, it's okay Zexy. It's kinda weird that we never really talked about my family, so..." He absentmindedly plucked at the frayed edges of his shorts, taking a deep breath. "I don't really have a family. Not anymore." It had come out in such a cold way, without emotion behind it, which was not normal for Demyx. The sheer bluntness of it had clearly thrown Zexion off, because he was hesitating to offer a reply. "I never met my biological parents... I was adopted at a young age, and raised by a nice family, but..."
Zexion sensed that this was painful for Demyx to talk about, just the landmine he was trying not to step on. "Dem, you don't have to tell me, I'm sorry... I was afraid family might be a sore subject.-"
"No, you should probably hear this. If we're really going to get married, then I don't want there to any secrets between us." Demyx didn't usually cut people off when they were talking, least of all Zexion, who had clearly realized, motioning for him to continue. "Sorry for interrupting you Zexy. Anyway..." He drew in a large breath, exhaling slowly and taking a moment before continuing his explanation. "You once told me that you've never felt anything for another guy before me. Well, unfortunately, for me, that isn't how things went... I've always been... well, gay." Demyx's toes curled up, his body balling up as he told his least favorite story. Only Axel and Roxas had ever been privy to this information. "The family that adopted me treated me really well. They supported my love of music, even paid for piano lessons when I was young. They got me into decent schools and helped me get accepted here, but... they hate me now." Just thinking about it all was making him sick. Zexion looked like he had been suddenly hit in the back of the head with a crowbar.
Wishing that there was more time to process all of this, Zexion wrapped an arm around Demyx and held him, hoping it would help. "How could anyone hate you, Demyx? You're such a nice person to everyone; I don't think I've ever even seen you get angry, as a matter of fact. What could you have possibly done?" Zexion felt Demyx shake a little and scoot closer, so he waited patiently for the next revelation.
Swallowing the lump in his throat, Demyx continued his woeful tale. "Well, I didn't grow up an only child. The family that adopted me had a son of their own, about a year before they found me. My... mother, she... complications during her pregnancy made it so that she could never bear a child again." His eyes were getting hazy again, tears blurring out the coffee shop around them. "They didn't want their son to grow up alone, and they wanted another child, so they took me in. We got along really well from the beginning, my brother and I... I was happy just being what they wanted me to be, happy being wanted at all." Demyx bit his lower lip to hold back a whine, sniffling a bit before drawing in another deep breath. "They never kept my adoption a secret from me, always telling me that it didn't matter, that I would always be their son... and Saix would always be my brother. Saix was always really nice to me growing up, and fiercely protective. W-Well, one day..." Demyx took another moment to collect his thoughts, gladly taking the tissue a waitress offered him after she'd seen him crying. Upon thanking her, he took up the task of finishing the story. "One day, senior year of high school, I got into a situation... there were these bullies, I think you can guess why they always gave me trouble. Anyway, they cornered me behind the building, and were threatening to beat me up. Before I could even scream or anything, Saix was there... I never even saw him approach us, he was so fast... I had to pull him away from them, he was so mad, yelling at the top of his lungs, even growling. There was blood all over his school uniform... and none of it was his. When he had calmed down a little, we ditched class and he walked me home."
Zexion held up a hand to interject. "I still don't see where this is going. I'm really sorry that all of these things happened to you, but why would anyone hate you for-" Demyx took Zexion's hand, holding it tight, and soldiered on.
"The house was deserted, we were alone... upstairs in Saix's room, and Saix insisted on checking me for bruises or wounds, but when he tried to I... I kissed him. I know it's messed up, we were supposed to be brothers, but it wasn't spontaneous. I had been attracted to him for a while before that, and was trying my best not to act on it. I thought I was in the wrong, but Saix... he looked down at me and his eyes just said yes. I tried to tell myself that it was gross, that I should feel bad, but... I wanted it, and unbelievably, so did Saix. One thing led to another, and... he took me. Our parents walked in on us having sex. After that, they kicked me out of the house and disowned me. I've been on my own since then. If Axel hadn't offered to let me crash on his couch, or asked me to join his band, I don't know what might have become of me. I was really depressed about it for a long time, but was finally able to put it behind me... when I met you." Drawing another labored breath, Demyx dropped his gaze, hoping that this would not have ruined one of the few good things in his life. "That's it. They hate me now, and they were the only family I had... who knows what they did to Saix. They had threatened him with military school the last time he'd gotten into a fight." He felt ashamed, and sick... he hoped he never had to tell this story again. "You're all that I have Zexion. You and the band, a small circle of friends... you are all that I have in the world."
[5:45 PM – Wet Sand's practice space]
The sound of feedback had never been sweeter, Demyx thought as he tuned up to his preferred solo tuning, making small adjustments here and there to Axel's settings. He didn't play guitar super often, but when he was worried or scared, nothing helped him pour his soul out better. Axel was never opposed to letting him use the guitar and amp, and practice had already been over for a bit; the others had left Demyx to his brooding, heading out in search of food. He picked softly at first, a gentle chord pattern that he sometimes sang to, but his pace quickly became violent, his fingers bending notes so hard he almost snapped a string. He was in a shitty mood because of the story he'd shared with Zexion, still worried that it might somehow jeopardize their relationship. Zexion had said "the past is the past", and waved it off. As far as Zexy was concerned, it needn't affect their plans, or their love for one another. Demyx wanted to feel that way too, but that story brought certain feelings with it. Longing for his first love, and for his family, or at least the people who used to call themselves his family. Saix had meant a lot to him... they had almost kissed on several occasions before the fateful night, and even slept in the same bed a few times, but they had managed to explain all that away before their parents became any more suspicious.
Placing Axel's guitar back on the stand, Demyx attempted to shake the thoughts from his mind, switching off the amp and diving onto the nearest couch. It would hurt Zexion if he were to dwell on Saix much longer, but his brain refused to let the subject go. He decided to smoke a bowl, hoping the high would calm him down enough to be able to handle dealing with the torrent of emotional distress in his head. He ended up running his fingers haphazardly across the band's keyboard, blonde spikes drooping a little as if to illustrate his poor mood. "May as well be a raincloud over my head like in those old cartoons." Demyx said to himself, eyes shooting open when he heard a knock at the door. He might not have been concerned normally, but Axel and the others didn't knock, they just entered freely. Another loud knock made him jump, almost falling off of the couch to the floor, frantically adjusting his clothes and hair as he struggled to normalize his appearance. He sprayed Febreeze all over the room in an effort to negate the smell of hash in the air, couching loudly before yelling "Just a second please!" to whoever was at the door. After stumbling over various cables and gear to get to the front door, Demyx ran a hand through his spikes, taking a deep breath and opening the door with a bit of a fake smile. "Hello? How can I..." Demyx froze, unable to move or speak, scarcely able to breathe. The long blue hair and piercing golden eyes, the face that he thought he knew, save for the large x-shaped scar... the bestial aura, the same smell even... but, there was no way. It couldn't possibly be... could it? "S-Saix, is that you?"