Chapter 38
Kid slapped the reins against the horses' back powerfully as Rock Creek's outline appeared before his eyes. Finally they were there. The ride had been too slow and long. Despite his eagerness to reach their destination as soon as possible, Kid had been unable to make it to Rock Creek faster. Lou was too ill, and he had to stop every few hours to feed or check on her, to help her when she got sick, or simply to water the horses. Her nausea was not as bad as at the beginning, mainly because her stomach had nothing much to eat, but even so, she was still shaken by bouts of retching.
On the ride Lou had come out of her constant sleep a couple of times. The first time she had fought him when he had tried to feed her. Unexpectedly, Lou had hit his hand, which had caused him to spill her tea, but fortunately, he had managed to calm her down, and gave her some soup. The second time she had opened her eyes wide and stared at him unblinkingly. "We're going home," she had said in a weak voice. Kid had smiled, assuring her they would soon be in Rock Creek. Louise had managed a weak smile before she had contorted in her too-usual pains, and that had been the last time his wife had been conscious.
Kid drove the wagon through the town's main street. His solemn eyes looked around the familiar surroundings as if he were seeing everything for the first time. The buildings and people oozed sorrow and deep grimness, a direct reflection of his own mood and hopelessness. Now that they had reached Rock Creek, what next? Was this the end of their road? What was left for him to do? Just hope? Hope for a miracle? Or maybe hope for his own death? If Lou went, he would not have any wish to keep walking on this earth alone.
The house were they had spent the first blissful couple of months in their marriage arose before his eyes in the relatively small distance. Lou was right, and he realized he shared her feelings about the house; this was their home. When he had been at the front lines during the war, his thoughts always went to the place he wanted to come back to, that is, to the two-storied house they had bought and filled with dreams. Even when he knew he was not welcome, he still felt it was the only place he would certainly call home. However, he now realized that the house was just stone, wood, and mortar, nothing else. His home was his Lou. If her abode was a shanty, a swamp, or the open desert, that would be his home too. His heart belonged just where hers was.
Kid stopped the wagon in front of the house, and before he eased down, the door opened, and five somber-looking figures filed out. Kid did not say a word as his friends approached. His dismal face spoke volumes, and as he stalked towards the back of the wagon, Teaspoon grabbed his arm, stopping him. "Son, could you…?"
"Not now, Teaspoon," Kid broke in. "Let's get Lou settled first, and then I'll tell you everything."
Kid did not wait for his reply, and continued on his way while he heard Rachel say, "He's right."
As Kid poked his head inside the covered wagon, he could hear her deep intakes of breath. "That's it, my love. Breathe, keep breathing for me," he silently voiced. Crawling inside the bed, he paused to look at her, and like usual, his hand softly brushed against her face. His eyes suddenly widened and his whole body jerked back so powerfully that he fell from the wagon onto the dusty ground.
"Kid!" Teaspoon called urgently while Cody rushed to help his friend back to his feet.
"She's burning!" the Southerner exclaimed desperately.
"I'll get Dr. Sullivan," Buck volunteered, and dashed off as fast as his still lean body allowed him.
"Oh God!" Kid cried, throwing his arms to the sky. "Ain't she going through enough as it is? What kind of punishment is this? Why? Why?"
Kid's voice faltered, drowned by overwhelming sobs. His legs buckled, and he fell heavily on his knees again. His hands raked his hair hectically, and he did not care if his friends saw him cry like a baby; he just could not take any more. This was too much, and he could not hold back any longer.
"Jimmy, please, carry Lou inside," Teaspoon instructed, and crouched before Kid. The marshal pushed the Southerner onto his feet. "Son, please pull yourself together! Remain strong for Lou."
Kid wiped his wet eyes and nose with his hands. "It's too damn hard!" he cried; his exasperated eyes following Jimmy as he scooped up Lou's languid figure in her arms.
"Son, what's wrong with Lou? You just said she was sick in your telegram?"
Kid turned his pained, wet eyes to the marshal. "Teaspoon, she's dying," he let out in a struggling voice as his eyes welled up again.
A cold shiver ran through the marshal's spine, and he exchanged an anguishing look of disbelief with Cody, whose blue eyes expressed the same agony. Gazing back at Kid, the marshal patted his former rider's shoulder as he said, "Kid, she ain't dead now. Save your tears and your strength. She needs you strong, and tears are a bad omen. Keep your faith. Let's not give up on her."
"It's our Lou, Kid… Lou!" Cody repeated her name as if that was enough to explain why he found it so difficult to believe what his friend was saying. "She's a fighter, and she'll come out of this."
Kid nodded somberly. He really wanted to believe their words. In fact, he had first refused to believe he was losing his wife. Lou's stronger than this, he told himself, but as the days had gone by, and her condition worsened, his faith had also waned. Now hearing Cody and Teaspoon talk, he urged himself not to despair, and believe that the unlikely was possible. Lou needed him and his faith, and he needed her desperately.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Kid took her unresponding hand in his. "Lou, we're home," he whispered softly. "Just like you wanted." His hand touched her feverish face. Rachel had placed a wet rag on her forehead, trying to bring down her temperature, but she still felt too hot.
As his eyes focused on her face, he could hear some voices behind him, but their words did not register in his mind. His whole attention was on Lou and his own prayers. A hand on his shoulder unexpectedly snapped him out of his private world, and as he looked up, Dr. Sullivan's stern face appeared before his eyes. "Mr. McCloud, would you please step outside for a few minutes while I examine your wife?"
Kid simply nodded and followed the others out of the bedroom and down the stairs. Rachel and the men settled in the living room. Nobody said a word, and Kid could hardly keep still. A single minute away from Lou's side felt like an eternity, especially since he knew that every moment was too precious. He really wanted to have faith, and believe that Dr. Sullivan would give him a little hope.
After pacing up and down his living room, the Southerner perched sideways on a lonely chair by the window, and his eyes absentmindedly looked out, watching without seeing life passing by. Without turning his eyes from the window, he suddenly blurted out, "Lou knew something bad was gonna happen."
Rachel and the men exchanged a look. "What do you mean, Kid?"
The Southerner averted his gaze to look at his friends. "She told me that since we left Rock Creek, she kept having these strange sensations that something wasn't right… like a warning. I just put it down to her anxiety for everything to be right between us, you know, given our past history. Yet, now I wonder…" Kid's voice trailed as he felt overcome by emotion. "It ain't fair; it ain't fair. We still have so much to live. It ain't fair."
Nobody spoke as Kid kept muttering. They all knew that their friend needed to vent his frustration and pain. He did not want to hear empty words of consolation, or false, patronizing phrases. They let him talk freely, all feeling his pain and despair, and after a while, the Southerner kept quiet, and nobody else dared to break his silence.
Half an hour later they heard a door open and close upstairs. Kid instantly rose to his feet, and waited for the doctor at the foot of the staircase. Dr. Sullivan climbed down the stairs slowly. Kid simply stared at him expectantly as the physician stood before him. The doctor ran his eyes through the men and woman flanking the Southerner, and finally directed his gaze to Kid. "The fever will probably go down with the medicine I've given her. On the ride she must have caught a chill." The doctor paused, and looking away from Kid, he added, "Marshal, could I have a word with you in private?"
Teaspoon looked visibly surprised, noticing the doctor's peculiar attitude. He had known Sullivan for years, and he could tell there was something weird that the doctor did not want to say. The marshal wondered what he was hiding, but instead of asking, he said, "Sure, George. Just lead the way."
With narrowed, suspicious eyes, Kid watched Dr. Sullivan and Teaspoon walk to the front door. He feared what the doctor would not tell him. The two men stepped outside, and through the window Kid could see them. First, the physician seemed to be muttering something with a solemn countenance. Whatever he was saying did not leave the marshal indifferent. Teaspoon's face clearly expressed a mixture of shock and surprise, and the conversation between the two men started to heat up. Teaspoon kept gesticulating with both hands while the doctor nodded or shook his head. After a few minutes the marshal turned on his heel and stalked back into the house with Dr. Sullivan in tow.
"Kid," Teaspoon called in a firm voice, "the doctor here has something to tell you about your wife."
Dr. Sullivan pointedly threw a glimpse at the group of people in the room, and reading his thoughts, Kid remarked, "You can say whatever you have to tell me about Lou before my family."
"All right," the doctor nodded. "Mr. McCloud, this ain't a simple matter. After examining your wife, I have reached the conclusion that her condition has nothing to do with the tumor you claim she has."
Kid frowned, and cast a look at Teaspoon, who remained impassive. "Wh… what do you mean?"
"It's not cancer." Dr. Sullivan replied.
"Then what is it?" Rachel dared to ask.
Dr. Sullivan inhaled deeply before answering the question. "All her symptoms point out that Mrs. McCloud is a victim of poisoning."
Rachel gasped while everybody else looked at the doctor in total shock. "Poisoning?" Kid echoed, not really understanding what he was hearing. "But… but that ain't possible. Who could do that?"
"I thought you could enlighten us, Mr. McCloud," Dr. Sullivan remarked stiffly.
"How … how … how can I know" Kid stammered, still in disbelief, and as he glimpsed at Teaspoon, it suddenly dawned on him what they were not saying. "You… you think I'm behind all this?" he exclaimed in a struggling voice.
"Kid," Teaspoon said, resting a hand on the young man's tense shoulder. "I hate to do this, but I have to ask. Dr. Sullivan thinks Lou can't have ingested a harmful substance by accident… it seems she must've been made to consume something poisonous for a while. Son, answer this." The marshal stopped, cleared his throat uncomfortably, and finally asked, "Do you have anythin' to do with this?"
"No!" Kid exclaimed loudly, his face red and his eyes bright in a mixture of pain and shock. "How could you even think I could do anything to kill Lou? She's my whole life! I could never hurt her… how could you believe I could try to kill her?"
Teaspoon patted the young man on the back comfortingly. "Son, I don't doubt ya. It's just my darn job. I know how much you love Lou, and I could never picture you harmin' a woman, let alone your wife."
"But… but… I don't understand. How… who…? Is Lou going to be fine?" Kid asked in the same despairing voice, unable to form a coherent thought into words. This was too strange and horrible to be true.
"Mr. McCloud, please calm down," Dr. Sullivan said. "We first need to talk this through, and you might have the answer to your own questions."