Thank you to everyone who reviews, alert and favorite. :)
So ... I may have lied to you about writing a sequel. I'm just going to keep it going under this tab here, even though at the start of the week I had a completely different opinnion. It's just easier to keep everything in one place. :)
Any mistakes are my own. Mia culpa.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but Danica and the Alexandria house.
Part 18 One Year Passed
A whole year had passed in their lives, the house was almost complete and their lives were so close to being tangled in amongst themselves. Danica's fifth birthday was only a day away; her first year of school was to be the following year and neither adult could believe so much time had passed between their lives. So much had changed in the space of a year.
The house was so near to being finished, the walls were painted, new furniture and pictures decorated every space. Although Mulder tried his best to keep the house "manly" there were touches of Danica and Scully everywhere, including the pictures that scattered on the walls. Mulder had turned the front living room into a library; books covered the walls, and the tops of tables that sat beside two large antique chairs and a lounge. A fireplace sat, unlit in the corner of the room, an old red wheel barrow sat tarnished and well-loved in front of the cupboard under the stairs, the cupboard was no longer a cupboard the pink and white paint brought light to the burgundy and antique gold of the other three walls. He had turned the little storage space into a shop front and indoor cubby house for the child who was most prominent in his life.
Danni had a multitude of little secrets hidden around the house just for her. The electrical sockets in the kitchen were covered with little doors, replicating Alice's adventures in wonderland. There was a place in the back of her white bookshelf that hid a little door, "just for the tooth fairy". The kitchen Scully took complete control over; painting the room white and blue, a bright contrast from the library, office and Mulder's room.
The house was covered in streamers and balloons at that point. It smelt of cookies and sweets the beginnings of a party were starting to show.
She stood in the kitchen in a pair of dark blue jeans and a green button up blouse, her hair was still a vibrant pumpkin orange but unlike her usual work attire she had let it curl softly. Although she could feel the stress pressing at the back of her mind there was a soft smile that lay lazily across her face. "My mother invited you over for Christmas this year." Five years together and she could almost feel when he entered the room. Mulder hummed as he moved around her, one hand on her back as he reached for the cupboard above her head. "It's at Bill's house in Dan Diego this year." She offered anyway knowing that instantly her partner would turn the offer down.
"Scully, I –" He started.
But she stopped him. "Don't worry about it Mulder, I'm just going up to spend a few days with them. You don't have to come but my mom thought that Danica would like a sea change for Christmas this year. You don't have to stay for as long as I do, it was only an invitation." To be honest with herself she wanted him to say yes, to agree with going with her. The year before she had spent Christmas with Danica and Mulder, she didn't know what she was going to do if she had to spend a Christmas away from them.
"Scully, it's September." Mulder told her with a laugh as he busied himself in tossing her prepared fruit into the bowl he had pulled down. Scully nodded, agreeing with a hum. "Then why are we discussing Christmas when in an hour this house is going to be filled with our daughter's loud four and five-year-old friends? You are nearly as bad as the supermarkets premature Christmas decorations." He teased with a bright smile.
Scully just shrugged as she stole a piece of apple from the bowl, "I wanted it get it out of the way." She smiled up at him softly as she finally picked up that he said "our daughters". It wasn't a new development, he had slipped plenty of times since they got her, and sometimes he even said it on purpose. But that didn't stop the smile that filled her face every time she caught him.
Their relationship in the past year had not passed anything over an occasional kiss on the cheek or a bold move at grazing their lips. Yet, behind all of that he still regarded her as though she was Danica's mother. Scully still had her apartment, yet, most nights she ended up in the guest room at his place, or asleep in Danica's bed after the little girl demanded yet another story. She picked Danica up from kindergarten twice a week which was always followed by ice-cream and the park before heading home to wait Mulder out. She had developed her own routine with Danica, they had their own secrets and plans and Mulder was nowhere near wanting to stop that interaction. He had his own life with Danica and he never faltered to invite Dana into any part of it.
"Are you going to remember to call me Dana?" She asked with a small laugh already knowing that the chances of him not slipping and calling her 'Scully' up were slim.
Mulder groaned having forgotten that little side note. "Just because everyone looks at us weird when I call you Scully does not mean I have to call you Dana when Danica's friends are here." She shook her head telling him that it meant exactly that. He had to call her Dana. The doorbell rang throughout the house causing Scully to pull away from the death glare they had locked themselves into playfully.
Scully moved for the door quickly as she dropped the hand towel she had been holding on the corner of the bench as she skidded around the door frame. Mulder laughed as he watched his small partner run for the door, knowing exactly why she was doing so.
Color flew past the kitchen bench accompanied with red hair, short stature and that angelic German voice. "It's my birthday!" Danica squealed as she ran through the kitchen. A pair of green faerie wings were attached to the back of her white dress, a matching tiara had been pinned down to her red hair strategically by Scully only an hour earlier and he could have sworn that there was also a wand that matched the entire ensemble somewhere in the house.
"Party." Mulder corrected, they were still trying to teach the girl that just because she had a party didn't mean it was in fact her birthday, she still – in today's case – had a whole day to wait before her actual birthday.
Scully let out a faint sigh of relief when she opened the door to find Ellen and her son Trent standing on the other side of the door. "It's my birthday!" Danica called as she came to a stop behind Scully's legs. The little girl's face lit up like the first set of fireworks for the night as she noticed the thirteen –year-old boy she called a cousin. Scully managed to catch the girls arm as she let Ellen and Trent into the house all the while saving Trent from having the little girl jumping on him.
Danica smiled sweetly as she tilted her head to the roof in thought, Scully's hand still on her arm refrained her from moving too fair. Biting on her lip she looked up towards Ellen with a brilliant grin. "Do you have a present for me?" Her blue eyes gleamed with a cheeky mystery. She had been warned by both of her parents to be polite and not to ask outright for gifts. Obviously the breath had been wasted.
Ellen who had met Danica the year before had expected the cheeky little girl to be nothing less than mischievous. Handing her bag to Scully behind their backs Ellen knelt down on the floor in front of the birthday girl and sighed heavily. "I only brought you a hug." Ellen pouted softly her eyes gleaming almost as brightly as Danica's. Danica watched Ellen for a moment, her eyes never leaving her aunts and she assessed whether to believe her or not. Deciding against it and with Scully's hand no longer holding on to her she ran around Ellen and grabbed Trent's hand while she dragged him into the kitchen unwillingly all the while shouting that he was there.
"Faeries." Ellen grinned her face lighting up brighter than the five-year-olds' once they settled on a theme. Scully's friend had always wanted a daughter. Although she always wanted the glitter and sparkles she had always vowed that she would never trade a day of dirt and unidentifiable grime. "Speaking of perfect faeries. How are you and 'cute jerk' in there?" She tilted her head towards the kitchen as Scully moved to towards the dining table trying to find a fault in her decorating.
Children's laughter and Mulder's voice slipped through the archway as Scully debated her answer, her old friend watching her face like a hawk. "Oh, El-" She sighed, her mind trying to find some elaborate excuse good enough for her friend.
Ellen hummed as she tucked her bag into a cupboard Scully always made sure Mulder kept bare so they could hide things in it. "You know," She started as she turned back to her friend. "You once told me you didn't think you were cut out to be a mom." Scully rolled her eyes. "Look at you! Dana Katherine Scully is playing house. Not to mention that you are playing house with this fantastic guy who is incredibly cute." She teased her friend. "But you're also trying to tell me that nothing is happening, you are just pretending to be a family without anything official. Why? What's wrong with you?!" Scully could tell that if it were back in their med-school days Ellen probably would have literally slapped some sense into her. But for now, they had moved on from that.
"I don't know what you expect me to say, Ellen – We are getting married and I'm pregnant?" She deadpanned as she moved to mess with the frills on the dining table as she tried to perfect the perfection she had already acquired.
Ellen laughed out loud as Danica stuck her head in the room. Giving the little girl a smile, she turned back to her friend. "Well, Danes, that's always a start. Besides, if I were you I would not be missing an opportunity to share that mans bed." Scully's cheeks flushed just as the doorbell went off. Ellen cursed loudly her hand to her forehead. "Peter's in the car, I can't believe I forgot about the dog." She explained as Danica ran past their legs yelling that it was her birthday, again.
Scully reached the door just as Danica pulled it open with a wide smile. Her fourth birthday the year before had just been family, and although she had had a few friends over throughout the year since, she had never had this many people over for her in one sitting.
Within minutes the house was filled with giggling children and a parade of color. Peter, Ellen's dog ran amongst the adults' legs trying in a vain attempt to hide from the children that were chasing him. "Where did you get that?" Mulder asked with a smile as he appeared from the rec room to find his partner holding a very tiny and delicate infant wrapped in blue as he entered the dining room. She was standing in front of the dining table as she rocked her hips trying to keep the baby asleep. Ellen was sitting at the dining table in front of her along with two other women Mulder had already forgotten the names too. He placed on hand on her hip, as she wrapped his arm around her back, the free hand sat on her shoulder as he looked at the little baby in complete wonder.
"Jessica wanted to go check on Molly and Dylan here was already asleep in my arms." She smiled at him with a certain glow about her. He took his hand from her shoulder and extended it to Dylan's tiny hand cautiously. "Don't wake him." She growled softly as his finger came into contact with the tiny child. Without knowing that she was doing she began to sway her hips again, a subconscious need to continuously rock the sleeping child.
"Watch out there, Fox. She's getting clucky on you." One of the women laughed as she watched the two. Mulder hummed as he stroked the baby's soft cheek, he was in awe of this tiny creature. He heard the camera shutter but didn't pay any mind to it at all as he continued to stare completely transfixed at things he held in his arms.
"Your Danes here looks good with a baby, don't you think Fox?" Ellen asked as Scully tossed her a pleading look already knowing the games that her friend was up too.
Mulder hummed for a second time as he took a moment to take Scully in as she stood there unaware of his scrutiny but aware that they had an audience. He bent down to kiss her cheek in an apologetic matter only for her to know, "What do you say, Scully, how about we get us one of these?" The women continued to watch them as Scully's cheeks flushed and a light died behind her eyes.
She hadn't told him of the news she found out only two days ago at her medical checkup, she was unable to conceive children. Scully didn't know how to tell him, she didn't know if she should tell him at all, it wasn't like they were in a relationship, but she knew she owed it to him to say something. She had come over that night almost in tears but had not warranted him with any explanation as she locked herself away with Danica and in the little girls' room. But what she didn't know was that he already knew.
It wasn't until that moment, standing there at Danica's fifth birthday party with Mulders arm around her back, a baby in her arms and his kiss searing over her cheek as he teased her about having children together that she realized how much she wanted it all and how much of it she just couldn't have.
He saw the look in her eyes and stopped, "In a couple of years." He tried to play it off making a mental note to talk to her when everyone had left.
"I heard that the two of you adopted Danica." One of the women spoke again as Mulder remembered her name – Laurie.
Scully made an uneasy noise only loud enough for Mulder to hear, everything seemed to be a soft subject with her today. Mulder nodded, he did not respond with a vocal response as he looked back down at the tiny baby in his partner's arms. "He's so little." He spoke, his voice quiet in wonder. All the women watched him in awe;
Here was this giant of a man, dark and mysterious who was standing before them transfixed in a young life. But this was what he was like now, a friendly giant who took the time to stroll when he went for a walk because Danica would be trailing behind, wanting to stop with every new excitement. He was the kind of guy who left work on time and always made it in just a little late because he wanted to spend extra time with her. He was civil and tired on occasion, he was full of smiles and stories to make everyone laugh – he was a dad. And to Scully that transformation not only happened in front of her eyes but kept her captive from the very beginning.
"I would like one." She whispered for only him to hear. Mulder tore his gaze from the incredibly small human being so he could meet her blazing blue eyes. He could see the trouble and pain behind them, but he didn't understand.
He nodded as he moved in to kiss her cheek, this time she moved her head, his lips grazing hers in the briefest of touches, a bare touching of their lips. The second kiss was harder, desperation and melancholy something he hadn't experienced for a while. He pulled back with a worried look as his eyes poured through hers begging for an answer. When she didn't give one up to him he kissed her forehead and used his thumb to point to the archway that lead back to the kitchen. "Danica wanted me to get the jar." He told her as though he needed and excuse to leave the room. Scully pulled on a smile as she kissed his cheek this time allowing for him to finally leave.
[…]
A tap on the bathroom door pulled her out of her thoughts as Scully sat on the titled floor, her back to the bathtub as she listened to the water run. "You okay?" Ellen asked as she entered the room softly, the partygoers had left hours ago leaving the house in disarray and a certain party girl covered in too many messes to name. Scully nodded, her mind still in her day dream as she listened to the hard rush of the water. "What happened to you and Mulder today when you were holding Dylan?" She asked and Scully realized she was holding her breath, just waiting for that question.
Ellen didn't push, not like she usually would have. Instead she slipped down to the floor on the opposite wall and joined her friend in the relative quiet of the bathroom. "Our work relationship would be affected greatly if we were to have kids." She answered robotically as she stared at the wall beside Ellen's head.
Ellen scoffed, "Danes, that's a load of B-S. You can't pull that card, have you seen what the two of you are doing? I know I saw you kiss him back." Her voice lowered, soft and compassionate. "What's really wrong?"
"I had a checkup." Scully started. She paused, leaving it for a long while before she thought of continuing. "We haven't even talked about it, but I've been thinking a lot and suddenly he's the only person I can think of. I, I just was … having Danica around constantly, loving her, enjoying my time with her just made me question when I wanted to settle down and have my own kids. But, it wasn't a routine checkup this time, they ran a few extra tests." She stopped, paused, took in a steady breath. "I can't have children." She ripped off the plaster as hard as she could.
Ellen's jaw dropped. "Oh, Danes." Suddenly she understood her friend's discomfort.
"Mulder and I aren't even in a serious relationship. I don't even know why I would have started to think about that kind of thing. But it felt right, in such an irrational way." She finally looked her friend in the eye. "I never realized how much I wanted that, until I was told it was too late." Her voice was shaking. Her lip trembled. But she didn't cry and it was well enough that she kept her emotions at bay, Danica chose that moment to push her bathroom door open with one of her bright and contagious smiles.
Her birthday dress was still on, the white covered in all sorts of marks Scully believed Mulder would never be able to get out, her faerie wings were bent and the tiara was hanging on for dear life on the side of her head. Her birthday gift from Ellen and Trent had replaced her black slippers on her feet, the new authentic cowboy boots were now being claimed as her favorite pair of shoes.
With her hands holding on to the edge of her dress she smiled sweetly up at Ellen. "I love my boots, Auntie Ellen." She over exaggerated her words in a five-year-old way. "Thank you!" She flashed a toothy grin as she tried to climb over the edge of the tub still in all her clothes. Catching her, Scully pulled the little girl into her lap.
"You can't get in the bath with your clothes on silly."
Danica sat back in Scully's arms for a minute, her mind working at a mile a minute trying to figure out how she could get her own way. Forming an idea she pulled back so she could look at Scully, "But they are my swimmers."
Scully shook her head with a small laugh. "No, they are not, honey. You don't want to ruin your pretty dress or Auntie Ellen's and Trent's boots now do you?" The little girl looked at her as she thought about it for a second and then shook her head.
"But I like them, Mama." The little girl's words didn't slip past Ellen and Scully almost cringed as she heard it. Danica calling her that wasn't a new thing, but it was their secret.
"I like them too; baby but you can wear them after your bath."
"No, Trent said I have to wear them in." She looked at both women innocently curious at their humored looks.
Ellen laughed. "He didn't mean in the bath, silly. You just have to wear them a lot so the shoes can fit to your feet properly." Ellen had crouched down to the little girls' level as she spoke and tried to take the boots off at the same time. "You know what? You can wear them to your grandma's tomorrow all day!" Ellen tried to compromise already knowing the girl would settle on that.
"Oma has a big house and she got a puppy Ellen, like Peter. But her name is Emma, not Peter." The little girl was sidetracked now and both women knew if they didn't catch her now she would just keep talking.
"How about you take your shoes off now and I'll tell daddy that you have to wear them so you can show Emma tomorrow." The little girl put her head on Scully's shoulder as she played with her mother's hair before letting Ellen in on her final decision. By the time she nodded her head in agreement Scully was already slipping her shoes off and handing them to her friend.
"You going to tell, Papa now?" She asked as Scully moved to untangle the tiara from her hair. Ellen nodded taking the little girls' request and fulfilling it.
Mulder and Scully switched in between Danica's bath, Mulder taking over on making sure the girl didn't flood the bathroom every few minutes while Scully said goodbye to Ellen and Trent. She was curled up on the couch in the front living room; bookcases lined the walls and large antique chairs sat with an antique couch around an open fireplace.
With the fire burning in front of her Scully had stretched out across the couch a book open in her hands her mind occupied in the world within, but not enough to miss the little girls' footsteps on the stairs behind her. Within seconds Danica was by her side and climbing into her lap with a book of her very own. Absentmindedly she started to run her hands through the little girls' hair but her fingers got caught in the tangles. "Mulder did you even attempt to brush her hair?" Scully spoke softly, there was no need to raise her voice she had sensed his presence and knew he wasn't far.
She pulled her hand from the little girls' pumpkin colored tangles as she tilted her head to look back up at him. She didn't get much of a look as she caught his back retreating back up the stairs, he had forgotten.
Mulder caught the two of them as he rounded the corner from the dining room, Scully and Danica were both trapped in a moment far too cute to interrupt. He watched them from his place by the stairs. Scully had slipped further down the couch and pulled her legs up, Danica was leaning against her legs as she sat on her stomach, their noses were pushed together in sweet eskimo kiss, whispered words were being spoken but they weren't for his ears. Mulder slipped back across the front entrance to the house quickly as he searched for the camera he knew couldn't be far behind.
When he came back neither girl had moved, smiles were wide on their faces, Danica's sweet giggling was starting to drift towards him as he held the camera up for a picture. Just as his finger hit the shutter button words drifted from Danica's mouth "Ich leibe dich, Mama." Mulder's body went ridged; Danica was going to push his partner without being aware of what she was doing. He noticed that unlike himself Scully hadn't stiffened up when Danica's words came out; instead she moved to tickle the little girls' side and repeated in the same loving tone. "I love you too, baby girl." He froze again. Why wasn't she startled? Why wasn't she running for Alaska by now? He was completely puzzled but watched their interaction with adoration.
"Having fun over there, Mulder?" Scully's voice broke through his cover, stepping out from behind the stairs banister he walked towards them as she smiled sheepishly. He watched them both in awe up close for a second before he spoke.
"She shouldn't have called you that," She looked up at him confused, her head tilted as she rose an eyebrow. "She called you her mother." He explained as though she might not have heard it.
Scully laughed softly as she turned back to the little girl in her lap who was demanding her attention. "She's been doing that for a little while." Mulder's eyes grew wide as Scully's face flushed. "It was just our little secret. I hope you don't mind. She just felt comfortable with me and I didn't mind." Mulder just looked at her with complete wonder. Danica, his child was calling his partner her mother. This had all happened and he wasn't informed.
When he thought about it Scully was already her mother, they just hadn't put a title on it yet. "Did you bring her hair brush?" She asked when he didn't speak. Pulling the brush out of his back pocket Mulder handed it over as Scully went to work on the little girls' long hair. "You don't mind, do you Mulder? That she calls me that. It's just that, I wouldn't want to ruin our work relationship and all and if it's really a problem we can ask her to stop, it's not as though she doesn't understand anything we say." Scully was rambling as she pulled the little girls' hair into a perfect braid. Her mouth was moving and words were coming out far too fast for any alien technology to ever keep up. When Danica slipped off her lap and disappeared back up the stairs, Scully's mouth was still moving and the words still coming Mulder smiled at her brightly before he threaded a hand through her hair and pulled her face to his in a kiss that completely took her breath away.
"Scully," He laughed as they pulled apart. "Shut up. It's perfectly fine, besides what do I care of the big guys who control our career?" Scully just stared at him, her mouth open, moving again but this time without the words. Her fingers dared to reach up and touch her lips, but she wouldn't allow herself, not while he was sitting in front of her. "Where'd Danni go?" He asked changing the subject for his still speechless partner.
She pointed her finger towards the roof indicating the little girls' bedroom that resided above them. "I, I um. I told her, when I ah, finished her hair that I would read to her." She mumbled still unable for words and he hadn't even kissed her that hard. She stood from the couch and flattened out her shirt and the front of her jeans before disappearing up the stairs. Stopping halfway, she paused and looked back down through the gaps in the banister. "I'm going to go read to her." She told him, like he needed an explanation.
Entering Danica's room Scully smiled tenderly towards the little girl in the bed that was far too big for her. She paused at the door to fix the light switches only allowing light to illuminate the room through the dragonfly lights that hung up around the edges of the roof belonging to the gold and pink room. Danica looked up at them still amazed at what her papa had done for her; she was a princess, he her king and this house was their castle.
Scully climbed onto Danica's bed after she picked a book off one of the inbuilt shelves next to Danica's wardrobe. "What do you like about those shoes?" She asked pointing to the cowboy boots Ellen had bought for her that were now sitting on the cushioned chair beside the bookshelf. Danica had adored them, and each night Scully set out to ask her a different question before bed allowing for the girl to learn that she could broaden her answers and start conversations with people from these things.
Pulling the patchwork blanket Mulder had bought her in Russia up over her little legs, she answered. "They are pretty." Danica told her simply as she changed her mind and climbed out of bed to walk over to her wardrobe. The doors were glass with white edging, a pink curtain hung on the inside of the doors. Danica pulled the doors open, revealing the shelves that held her shoes and the draw for accessories. Her dresses and coats were hanging up neatly, her costumes in a chest at the bottom of her wardrobe. Her shirts and pants lived in a white dresser at the end of her bed, each category of clothing separate from the next. "I am wearing this for Oma." Danica pointed to the dress that hung off the back of the wardrobe door. It was a mocha colored dress with three brown flowers stitched to the bottom of it and a dark chocolate brown ribbon that wrapped around the middle. Scully knew there was a matching coat around somewhere as the dress was a gift for the little girl from her own mother. It was the only gift she was allowed to have before her birthday.
"I know, Danni. It's from my mom, remember? So you had something special to wear on your birthday." The little girl nodded her head as she closed the doors to the closet and climbed back into the bed.
"Grandma." She nodded, unaware to Scully's reaction. "Do you know what I want for my birthday really?" She asked hoping up on her knees beside Scully her hands on her leg. Scully nodded as she watched the child with earnest, everyone had tried to get a serious gift answer from Danica, something big that she really wanted but the little girl wouldn't give into anyone, saying it was to stay a secret. She leant in real close to Scully's ear as she whispered, "A baby brother."
"Oh, Danni." Scully sighed as she helped the girl settle under the covers.
"Molly has a baby brother, Dylan. He's like a dolly." She told Scully with wide eyes it was true that Danica had been transfixed with the little boy just like her papa had been.
"Baby brothers are a hard gift to give, honey."
"A baby sister then?" She tried again. Scully shook her head. "A puppy?"
"I could talk to Papa about a puppy …" She told the girl even though she had every faith Danica would look after a pet. But that wasn't Scully's decision that was Mulder's.
Danica frowned, "It's okay, I don't want one." Her voice was soft, her spirit low.
Scully took in a breath and let out a heavy sigh. "Honey, you need a mommy and a –" She cut herself off, Danica had a mom and a dad they just weren't mom and dad like with each other. "Sometimes people can't have baby brothers. But, I'll talk to your Papa about it, okay? Shall we read?" The little girl nodded then shook her head deciding she was tired enough and she didn't want a book, she wanted to start her actual birthday as fast as she could the next day. Tucking her in Scully switched off her lamp before kissing her cheek and whispering goodnight.
It wasn't until she had changed into a nightgown and stripped herself of the day that Scully remembered to talk to Mulder about what Danica had said. She hadn't seen him when she left the little girls' room and instead of looking for him she busied herself in going to bed as well. Not bothering with a dressing gown Scully crept back up the stairs deciding to check on Danica before heading for Mulder's room ended up being a smart idea she found the man by Danica's bedside singing her to sleep by the light of her nightlight. Scully waited for him to finish and leave the room before she addressed her concerns.
"Maybe what we're doing is wrong." She spoke as she followed him to his room.
"What?"
"Letting her call me mom." She sighed. "Mulder, she asked for a baby brother for her birthday. I couldn't explain to her that that couldn't happen because we aren't her mom and dad but we are without the whole married and other stuff." Her face had settled into a frown as she followed him through his darkly painted room and into the bathroom, she was talking with her hands, moving them as they walked.
"She asked for a baby brother?" He asked looking at her through the mirror when he stopped.
Scully nodded as she leant against the door frame behind him. "I'd do anything for her Mulder, but that. A sibling is a completely different thing." He was watching through the reflective glass of the mirror, her face had fallen, her eyes drawn down to the ground.
"What happened today?" He asked softly as he continued to brush his teeth.
Her face fell further, "I found something out on Thursday." He stopped brushing as he turned to look at her, his toothbrush hanging out of this mouth. He looked so worried and so stupid all in one go. "Because of what was done to me," she did not need to elaborate; he knew instantly what she was talking about. "I am unable to have children." She spoke so fast that Scully wasn't sure if his face was blank out of shock or because he hadn't heard her. Finally, Mulder's face reached as his face visibly dropped, compassion filling his eyes. "I didn't realize how much I wanted that until I was told I couldn't have it. I feel so useless Mulder, Danica asked for a baby brother and I wanted to jump at the chance, but I can't give her something that she wants and it's killing me. Maybe it's best if broken little old me wasn't in her life."
Mulder took in a hard breath as he rinsed in mouth and moved towards her. "Scully, you are not broken."
"Mulder, I can't do the one thing women were created to do. That deems me broken." He shook his head.
"It doesn't make you a different person; it doesn't make you broken unless you tell yourself you are broken. Scully don't give up on yourself. Don't for a second give up." She couldn't look him in the eye as he held her with his hands on her arms. He wanted to tell her about her ova, about the tests he had run, but that was only more bad news to give her and he could not stand being the one to tell her when she was already upset.
Standing on her tippy toes she craned her head to peck his lips lovingly. "Why do you care so much?" She asked sweetly with tears in her eyes, the day wearing down on her fatigued mind.
"You're my touchstone, Scully. Without you, I can't function." He shrugged his voice full of emotion.
Wiping the tears from her eyes Scully turned "I should probably go." She told him quietly as she moved to leave the bathroom. Mulder grabbed her hand again, his touch was tender, his eyes pleading as she fought to catch her stare.
"You can't." He stopped her and was granted with a teary eyed glare. He shrugged apologetically. "Scully I know you're upset," his voice was soft as he pulled her closer to him. "and I know you probably want some space right now." She tried to pull away. "And I know you don't want to be protected or defended." He took one step for every one of hers as she tried to leave the room. "But I promise, we are going to sort this out you and I together. But right now, you promised a four-year-old that you'd be there the morning she woke up and turned five." Her lip started to quiver as she gave up stepping away from him, raising her head to look at him her eyes filled with a new set of tears. "I don't know about you, but I don't like to disappoint Danica, especially when she thinks the whole world revolves around you." Scully nodded her head softly as she gave in and let her head fall to his chest. "Everything will be okay." He told her as he led her to his bed in an attempt to get her to sit down.
She was silent while they moved and when the back of her legs touched the edge of the bed her shoulders shifted as a strangled sob made its way through her throat. The last of her walls crumbled as she fell to the bed, her eyes red and the blue almost a brilliant sapphire. Mulder knelt down in front of her, "I promise, everything will be okay."
Scully shook her head. "Don't make a promise you can't keep, Mulder." She sighed heavily the tears still falling, and even though the words left her mouth something in her eyes were pleading with him to never give up hope.
"Never give up on a miracle." He told her as he pressed his forehead to hers allowing for the darkness of his room to surround them as everything seemed to get smaller leaving only the two of them in existence.
Feedback would be sweet. :)
Until next week,
A