Thank you to everyone for your reviews and those of you who started following as well as new favorite-ers

So there is always something about this time of year that has me reading back on the stuff I have written. And always, without fail it makes me think – why the hell are you doing this?! The spelling, the grammar, the punctuation it is horrendous. Not as bad as it had once been, but still bad enough to put me in a funk that makes me want to rewrite everything I have ever penned. – So yeah, it just happens to be that time of year. Now, I want to finish this before I rewrite and proof read as a collective piece so do not fear. But also with this time of year comes the school work that makes me crazy busy and eventually pushes my writing out of the way. I guess I just want to let you know that I am still here, and writing when I can and when I am not in some moody little funk. I really, really want to finish this but we will see how we go, considering the fact that usually I get a chapter done during the week and well, today I have written this entire thing. It is bad. It skips weeks. I apologize.

Part 22

Summer 1999

It took a while, but after they found out that the IVF didn't take, Scully's attempts at trying for a baby started to get between them. Her doctors had prescribed her to hormone shots asking that she try them out for a few months before trying again. She only had one more shot at this and even her own doctors didn't want her to rush what was going on.

Summer had hit the city with a heat wave no one had seen for decades. Heat pounded down on the earth making it too hot to bear for most people let alone those who couldn't handle a simple summer temperature.

Mulder sat on the back deck with Danica the two of them in swimming costumes. Danica was covered in what Mulder knew was approximately three layers of sunscreen. He didn't want her porcelain skin to burn nor freckle. If it was up to him he would have kept her in the air conditioned house for the whole of summer and never let her see the sun. But his daughter was insistent on playing in the pool and running around the heat stricken backyard until her skin was about ready to melt off.

Danica lay at his feet, the deck wet around her from a mixture of her sweat and chlorine. She lay with her head in her hands as she stared intently at a rather large block of ice. "You would think that she would figure out that she can crack it open." Scully spoke as she appeared from the inside of the house watching the girl just as intensely as she was watching the slab of ice.

"No. Danica's opinion is that she shall watch the ice while the sun melts it. That way she gains the plastic toys anyway." Scully laughed, a belly like chuckle causing the little girls' intense attention to be ripped from the melting ice. Her face shifted from concentrated to excited as she jumped up and ran for Scully. "Someone would think she never gets to see you." Mulder laughed as he too got up but unlike Danica headed back for the poolside. "Care to join us, Scully?" He asked standing on the edge one toe daring the water to capture it.

"Did you forget my mother was coming over for lunch?" Mulder shook his head but in reality they both knew he had. "I don't like the thought of her alone in this heat and she really wanted to see Danni." Mulder nodded again, remembering the conversation they had held over the phone the night before. It was summer in the city and it was hot. He had worried about her mother and her malfunctioning air conditioner as well.

He gave her another nod, a smile tugging at his lips. "You know it's good that she's coming over." Scully crossed her arms over her chest an eye brow rising with a silent question. "I don't wine you and dine you enough Scully." Her body language stayed the same. "Well," He sighed moving away from the pool edge and stepping back up onto the deck. "There's a movie coming out that I know you want to see and I thought while we're out we could get dinner. Dinner and a show!" He clapped his hands and pulled a theatrical face.

"Oh, that sounds lovely, Fox." Maggie interrupted as she turned up behind her daughter causing the man to choke on his own words.

Mulder turned to his partner's mother as he concealed the look of shock on his face. "Maggie! I didn't know you were here, already." He shot a glare at Scully, for not pre-warning him that her mother was already in the house.

"What movie is it Dana?" Maggie turned to her daughter now, officially prying.

Scully glared back at her partner, a warning that there would be consequences for his big mouth. He shrugged, laughter flickering in his eyes and tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Titanic." She told her mother simply, ending the conversation. She drew her attention back to the little girl lying on the deck watching the rapidly melting ice. Danica's face inched closer and closer towards the ice in front of her, sensing what the little girl was about to do Scully stepped towards her, "Don't even think about licking that Danica."

Mulder and Maggie both laughed audibly as the little girl looked up at her mother with large and innocent blue eyes. "It's an icy pole." She spoke sweetly. "I'm hot." Mulder laughed again as Scully dismissed the little girl's idea and told her that she knew exactly where to find the freezer.

Disappearing into the house only for a moment the little girl returned with a large red icy pole, the thing already melting and staining her pale face. Very quickly the iced treat had vanished and the little girl had moved about the garden trapping herself in her thoughts.

"I wonder what she thinks about." Mulder mused softly as he watched the little girl roam the garden wistfully, her body was still on the same planet but he could tell that her mind was in another place. She was insanely beautiful to watch; Danica was so fragile and graceful with every step she took, she had that carefree ability to just chase a butterfly because she had no other care in the world.

But now, in that moment the little girl sat crouched in front of a flower bush. The bright colors peeking out and around her red hair and the yellow sundress they had managed to pull over her swimsuits.

Mulder knew Maggie Scully was taking pictures of the little girl; he could hear the camera shutter and on occasion the older woman's encouragement for the girl to stay still or pose. Every now and then he could hear Danica giggle, as her grandmother snapped her picture. He knew, without standing with them that the pictures were going to turn out brilliantly and that he would have another few to add to the walls and albums. He also knew that aside from the pictures of the little girl Maggie had fallen in love with, there were also a series of pictures containing himself and Scully.

"What do you mean?" She asked staring at the water in front of them as she kicked her legs in the pool. They were sitting side by side, hips touching on the edge of the pool, their legs dangling in the water and their hands trying not to touch behind them. "The whole young minds are perceptible to things, things you can I can't see?" She squinted her eyes against the suns' rays when she turned to look at him. "Ohh," She teased in a girly manner as she bumped her shoulder against his arm. "Like faeries?" Mulder looked at her out the corner of his eye, his mouth poised ready for debate. Scully sighed next to him, kicking her legs in the water again throwing off his comeback. "Relax Mulder." She leant into his side a little, cautious to make sure that her mother missed the action. "Enjoy her." She squeezed his hand. "Don't go making X-Files out of things that do not want explaining. At least, keep work away from her." Her voice had dropped; it became something softer, sincere and almost pleading.

He nodded his head in full agreement as he watched the little girl play. Drawing his attention from the child he turned to look at his partner. "I was thinking we could leave at six." He told her softly as he drank in her appearance while the sun reflected off the water and hit her face, making it glow. She smiled back at him, her cheeks dimpling with the movement and something curious gleaming in her eyes.

"Why are you being so sweet?" She asked with humor her voice barely above a whisper.

Mulder shrugged. "I thought you might like a night out. You know, to have a life outside of your empty apartment and this place." There were things he left unsaid. Like the turmoil she was putting herself through with this whole baby business. There were nights were all she would do would be ignoring him, or yelling at him. And then, there were nights were she would curl up into his side and fall asleep instantly. The added hormones in her system were throwing her emotional state off balance.

He wanted her to have a night away from that. A night were she could be Scully and he could be Mulder – partners in crime that spent way too much time together and denied that together they were the others one in six-billion, their touchstone and mixed into that world of confusion she was trying to have a baby. His baby. He didn't want them to have to be Dana and Fox who were busy trying to raise a four-year-old and bring another life into this world. While all the while denying a great love, a magnetic pull they shared between them. Sometimes those lives crossed, this crusade of hers to have a child was one of those crossing paths that was destined to pull them apart.

He just wanted to give her a break from that.

[…]

"I hadn't realized that it would upset you so much Scully." Mulder spoke with wonder as he wrapped his hand around the waist of his tiny partner. The small woman who was tucking herself into his side had tears running down her face. He had honestly not thought that the film would pull that reaction from her. Not the steely woman who prided herself on the way she could detach.

She waved him off with her hand before placing it over his protective hold on her stomach. "It's just the stupid hormone shots. I wouldn't be this upset. Not usually." She hiccupped through her tears. "It's just. Mulder, he sacrificed himself for her. Surely the both of them could have fit on that stupid door." Mulder chuckled to himself and nodded towards a passerby who followed them with their eyes, curious as to why the woman was crying. "Promise me you will never be so stupid as to do that." He laughed at her louder. Scully stopped in her tracks. "Promise me, Fox Mulder!" She demanded, seriousness lacing her voice.

Pulling back from her slightly he caught her chin with his thumb. "I promise you Dana Scully that I will never be so selfless as to put another life in front of my own in a tragic romance." She laughed at him softly through another hiccup and set of tears. Punching his chest lightly they started to walk again.

"Can you come with me next time?" She whispered into his side as they made their way towards the car.

"I am supposed to be extremely selfish according to you." He started with a chuckle. "Come with you where?"

"To the doctors I booked an appointment for a few weeks' time and I would really like it if you would be there. It's my last shot at this." Letting out a heavy sigh Mulder tucked Scully further into his side telling her that he wouldn't miss it for the world.

[…]

"If there's Ben and Jerry's in that bag, it could be love." Scully looked up at her partner with hopeful eyes. It was turning out to be one of her good days, the kind where all she wanted to do was curl up with a good movie and ice-cream. Considering the fact that he had only brought her back from the clinic half an hour ago he was happy for her desire to sit and relax.

Putting the plastic bag down on the coffee table Mulder revealed two large tubs of Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ben and Jerry's ice-cream. She looked at him as though he hung the moon. Her eyes were large and her smile even more so. He had to resist the urge to lean down and kiss her, her face was far too adorable. Retreating to the kitchen to retrieve cutlery Mulder spoke, "Anything happen while I was gone?" He asked finally returning to her side.

Scully nodded, her eyes fixed on the Disney movie she had put on while he was gone. "Yeah, this amazing guy bought me ice-cream." She beamed still not looking at his face. "Oh and your mother called." Her voice dead panned. "She and Danica got back to the house okay." Mulder nodded, a hum escaped his lips the only acknowledgement he could offer with a spoon hanging from his mouth while he tried to get the lid off the ice-cream. "Danni sends her love and in her usual brilliance told me to make sure you go to bed." Mulder laughed openly at her comment the spoon falling out of his mouth.

"Someone has to keep an eye on me, I guess." He laughed. Settling into the couch Mulder cast his eyes on the television. "What are we watching?" He asked, finding that he wasn't too impressed with the animated feature in front of his eyes, something of which he had seen Danica watch repetitively.

"Fox and the Hound." She grinned back at him while she dug her spoon into the tub of ice-cream. Groaning audibly Mulder let his head roll against the back of the couch.

Getting up and moving for the cabinet that held his rather small collection of video's – that weren't Disney or something else he didn't own – "Why do I even own that?" He asked, hating his name enough to hate the animal attached to it.

Scully giggled on the couch as she shifted and moved her feet onto his spot. "Because it is a very sweet movie and your daughter loves the connections it has to your name."

"Fox." He grumbled. Shifting through the video's at his fingertips he picked one and pulled it out. "Gotcha. Fancy a bit of baseball history, Scully?" She arched an eyebrow at him while he waved the tape at her. "Okay, so more of its myth and sci-fi but we can deal with it, right?"

She arched another eyebrow as she stretched her foot against the couch cushion. "Sounds like your kind of film Mulder." She teased. She really couldn't complain. After all the "girly" films she had pushed him into sitting through she was more than happy to entertain his interests.

He changed the tapes over before returning to the couch. Scully moved her feet so she could claim his seat once again but as soon as he sat he wrapped his fingers around her ankles and moved her feet onto his lap.

With Danica in the loving care of his mother and Scully settled in by his side Mulder was able to relax, to sink into the couch and the movie. Daemons were still scraping at the back of his mind, urging for his attention. But at the end of the night things were calm. Scully was in a good mood, she was cuddly and safe and for once in his mind he liked being domestic. His little girl was missing from the picture, the magnetic glue that pulled it together but he knew that at this moment she was tucked away at his mother's place probably hyped up on sugar by now. He would have this moment with her – right now it was with Scully.

[…]

"Papa, Papa, Papa!" Danica chanted his name like a mantra as she bounced on the edge of his bed. He groaned loudly and pulled a pillow over his head, reminding the little girl to remember to be cautious of the sleeping Scully. "Mama's not here Papa!" Danica squealed as she continued to jump.

He bolted up. That couldn't be right, Scully was supposed to be there, she had an appointment at the doctor's office that morning. Looking over his shoulder to check the time he swore under his breath. It was nine o'clock already Danica had a play date at 9:30 on the other side of the city and he had to be by Scully's side at 10. He was doomed from the get-go. But, there was a slight chance he could make it there in time.

She would kill him if he didn't make it. This was big, big as in her last chance at falling pregnant and today was the day she found out if it worked. She had asked that he be there, she had not done so the first time. He understood the leap she was taking in asking for his presence and he knew that she would be forever mad at him if he didn't show up.

Jumping out of bed he hurried his pajama clad child to her bedroom. With Danica in her room he found her clothes laid out for her already and trusted that the little girl could put them on without a fuss. He ran back to his bedroom and found a pair of discarded jeans and a t-shirt he couldn't remember wearing twice and tossed them both on.

After all the rush he found himself in one place that was drastically inevitable. "Dammit!" Slapping his hands down on the steering wheel he growled with annoyance. "Dammit, dammit all to hell!" He saw the child in his rear-view mirror flinch at his anger. He didn't mean to scare her, he didn't think that he ever had frightened her but with the way his morning was running he could not help it any longer. Danica's play date cancelled and waited until he got to the other side of town before they called and now. Now he was stuck in traffic while his watch told him it was five to ten. He had to be with Scully at Dr. Parenti's office now.

She was going to kill him. He could sense her annoyance already but mostly, he could sense her fear. He continued to tap his hands against the steering wheel trying desperately for the traffic to move a little faster and the clock to tick a little slower. "Time waits for no one." He said out loud as he checked on Danica who was sitting quietly in the backseat and staring out the window, Schatz sitting patently in her lap.

Finally breaking traffic Mulder broke several road laws in the upper D.C. area. Pulling into a car park he flew with Danica in his arms up the stairs of the building, his panicked mind deciding they would be faster than the elevator.

She was going to kill him! It was twenty minutes past 10 by the time they broke into the quiet waiting room. There were few people sitting there, none of them his read headed partner. Putting Danica on the floor with Schatz dangling from her hand he scanned the room once more. Running his hands through his hair he cursed silently. "Papa?" Danica tugged on his jeans desperate for his attention to break through the tension he was emitting.

"Not now, Danni." He moved past her heading for the reception desk. Danica called his name again as she tugged on his arm she was almost in tears at the tension cut through her bubbly personality.

He was too busy trying to talk the receptionist into telling him if Scully had attended her appointment to notice that she had appeared in the doorway leading to the Doctors' offices. "God dammit Mulder, acknowledge her. She's terrified." Scully restrained herself from slapping the man's cheek and turned her attention towards grabbing the little girls' hand and leading her towards the elevator.

"Scully!" He called after her trying not to raise his voice enough to draw too much attention to them. "Scully, look I'm sorry I missed it." He pleaded as he followed a few paces behind them even though he could easily catch up. "Charlotte cancelled on me, but I already made it too her apartment. You know it's a long drive and then, then of all things I got caught in traffic. I wanted to be here Scully, I tried to call you. I am so sorry." She continued to ignore him, only allowing for their eyes to connect for a brief two seconds before the elevator door closed in front of his face.

She was angry and he knew there was no possible way he could make it up to her.

When Mulder couldn't find Scully at his Alexandria home he tried her apartment next. "How can anyone trust you with a child?" She snapped when she pulled the front door open. "I am appalled at not only the way you treated me, but the way you completely disregarded your daughter when she was in need of comfort. You scared her Mulder, you did." Her words cut like a knife, he wanted to be sick. He scared his daughter and didn't even realize that he had done so.

"Scully," His voice was low, pressing at importance. "can't we just talk about this?"

"Can't you just not ditch me in the middle of something important?" She argued back as she moved to shut the door on his face. Pushing his foot between the door and frame he stopped it.

Pushing his way into her apartment he scanned the living room. "Where's Danni?" Scully didn't offer him a response instead she just crossed her arms over her chest and grunted at him. Taking the chance too he soaked her in. This woman, his partner was standing in front of him in a singlet and a pair of his boxer shorts. It was warm in her apartment, not as hot as it was outside but warm enough to be comfortable in the attire she was wearing. "Scully, come on. Hear me out. There was traffic and I slept in – it just isn't my day and I am really truly sorry."

Something shifted in her eyes, they softened but only for a moment. She wanted to let him in, but something was stopping her. Her arms were still crossed when he took a step towards her, his hands falling on her forearms. When she didn't pull away, he moved closer. "Scully this means so much to me, I wanted to be there." She shifted her eyes away from him, not daring to make eye contact. "Are you going to tell me?" He asked softly, his voice close to breaking.

Scully scoffed as she pulled away. "I'm furious with you right now." She told him finding the floor more interesting than any part of him. He asked again where Danica was and unlike the first time Scully told him she was sleeping in the guest room. With knowing of his daughter's safety his mind was put at ease, only a little.

He sighed deeply when she moved for her bedroom in an attempt to move away from him. "Scully." He sighed again, his hand finding its way to his hair. "I may as well say everything I have to say then, considering the fact that you are not putting in at all." He paused, hoping for a comment. He breathed heavily, a third sigh, his mind becoming a mess. "I want to be involved." She shot him a look as she stood at one end of her bedroom, he in the doorway at the other. "I want to be involved if you have this child. There is no way I can't be, Scully. You are so connected to Danica that there is no way I won't see you and I can't pretend to be 'Uncle Mulder' - I won't pretend." He took a step closer to her testing the boundaries before he took another step. "But right now, although you're asking me to be involved, I don't feel like I'm involved." He caught her eye, pleading with her to understand.

"You don't feel involved?" She moved to the middle of the bedroom, her annoyance radiating from her being. "Feel free to make a direct deposit." Tugging on the edge of the boxers she wore she growled her words at him.

Taken aback he stepped towards her and grabbed her arms, holding her still. "What the hell, Scully?"

"What the hell?!" She shouted. "What the hell, Mulder. Here I am shooting hormones up my ass, I'm horny and emotional and guess what?!" Her eyes dared him to speak, dared him to even breathe. "I have nothing to show for any of it." She cursed at him her eyes again daring, daring for him to touch her, to pull sympathy anything so she could scream at him – rip his head right off. "Don't think you can give me that 'this means something to me too' speech. It's wasted breath." She hissed, her attitude so unlike her that he really was at loss for words.

He didn't want to speak, he didn't know what to say to her. Instead he communicated without the words. He told her he was sorry as he backed out of the door. Turning into the hallway Mulder nearly tripped over his tiny daughter.

She stood there – looking at him with large, tear filled blue eyes. Her yellow shorts and navy blue shirt crumbled from her sleep. "Papa?" She whispered her voice on the edge of cracking. He picked her up in one swoop checking that she held her bear so they could leave as quickly as he arrived.

Scully followed behind only by a few seconds. "Don't come back." Her words were angered as she watched him slip through the door.

Half way out the door he stopped and turned back to her. "Danica starts school in two weeks. I know you're angry with me. But don't take it out on her." He pleaded. "Remember," His voice dropped. "We love you." With that, he was out the door and into the day.

Returning to her bedroom, tears clouding her vision Scully pulled the small sonogram picture out of her purse and dropped to her bed. She didn't mean to lie. Her own fears took over in that moment and she said things she shouldn't have. Already she was fearing the worst for her, it couldn't be true that he wanted to give her everything. She could not accept that that was her Mulder even though she knew deep down it was truth. He loved her – and she him.

You hid things from the ones you loved in order to protect them. Now that she knew she was pregnant she feared for the changes a new life would bring.

Not much Danica, I am sorry. But the next chapter there should be more of her - it's her first day of school! Get excited guys.

Again I apologize for the bad quality of my stuff as of late and well, ever. I try. =]

Until next week,

A