"I just really don't think it's a good idea, Oliver."

"Felicity, I told you that you could come in as long as you didn't say anything –"

"And I didn't. This is different."

Oliver sighed and turned around to face Felicity. Her expression shifted. "He's scared, Oliver."

"Anyone in their right mind would be," Oliver muttered, but the look on her face still sent a stab of guilt running through him. Was he doing the right thing? He could have gone and killed the guy anyway. He could have ignored Barry and let him hate him for the rest of his life. He could have lived with Barry hating him, knowing that he wouldn't have to put him through this ordeal. He couldn't live with the guilt though. Not his guilt, Barry's. He'd never forget it, that Oliver killed a man because he failed. Oliver sighed.

"He's not doing good," Felicity said, "And you know it."

"What do you want me to do?" Oliver asked. "He'll run. I know this is hard to watch, and trust me, I don't like it any more than you do, but you haven't felt what that guy can do. It's bad. If he wants to be able to withstand it then he's going to have to go through with this – and I can't do that if he runs away from me every time things start getting tough."

"Don't talk about him like this is his fault," Felicity snapped.

Oliver pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm not," he said, "that's not what I mean. He can't help it – I know that – that's why I have the table."

"If you want him to stop panicking, you have to stop using it," she said.

"He'll run," Oliver said.

"Then let him," she snapped.

"Felicity –"

"I know," she said, collecting herself again, "you can't. He can't help it. You have to stop him. He won't let you kill the guy. I just wish there was another way to do this." She looked up at him. "I mean, Oliver, you have to see it – his symptoms – he's already pretty much developing PTSD I mean, somewhere it has to be too much, it has to not be worth it anymore."

"It's worth it to Barry," Oliver said, "The guy hasn't hurt anyone, not physically. He just steals money."

"Ugh," Felicity said, banging her fist on a table. She hit it a little too hard by accident. "Ow, OK, note to self, don't do that."

"Barry won't do it, Felicity," Oliver said, ignoring her.

"Well, than he better show up again soon so Barry can get rid of him once and for all." Felicity paused. "Do you think he's good enough to catch him now?"

"Felicity," Oliver said, "If I knew that for sure do you think I'd ever be taking Barry into that room again?"

Felicity sighed. "All right. Just… this is dumb. It's awful. He looks awful."

"I know," Oliver said, "But he'll bounce back. This is Barry."

"Yeah," Felicity said, "I know, that's why I'm worried. You only bounce back so many times."

LIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEE

Barry didn't show up the next day. Caitlin, Cisco, Oliver, Felicity – they were all waiting. At four thirty they called his cell. At four forty five they called Joe. No, Barry wasn't in the lab, he'd gone home, and no, there were no crime scenes he could be at. Caitlin called Iris. She hadn't heard from him all day. Called Joe again. Yeah, he had been acting a little weird, but he'd been jumpy for a week or two now. It was almost five and Oliver was just about to leave to go check Barry's apartment when there was a rush and the papers went flying and then there was Barry, standing there, fiddling with his hands and his face a grey, ashen color.

"So, I'm late, like really late, I'm sorry, but I – I don't think I can do this today. I mean – tomorrow. I'll go right back to it tomorrow I just – I don't think – I was going to tell you I was sick but – well that's a dumb lie since I'm like Mr. Healing over here, and I just – I really can't do this today. I'll do it tomorrow, I promise – I'll get here right at four and go right in but it's just – I just can't –"

"Barry," Oliver said, "Calm down."

Barry was shaking, sweat beading up on his forehead and his face was plastered with fear.

"Yeah, well that's the thing, I really can't and um, I just think it'll be better if I wait until tomorrow."

"Barry," Caitlin said, "Why don't you sit down."

"No," he said, "I'm fine – I just – I'll do it tomorrow, I promise."

"Barry," Oliver said, "How about you go lie down for a little bit."

"No," he said. Panic burst out across his face.

"Barry," Oliver took a step towards him.

Barry was halfway across the room. "Don't – I can't – Oliver."

"It's OK," Oliver said, stepping back again. Barry cautiously walked forward again. His eyes were darting around. "Can Caitlin check you out, Barry?"

Barry shook his head. "I'm fine."

"You don't look fine."

"I am."

"Can you talk to me, Barry."

"I am talking to you."

"Tell me what's going on, Barry. Why don't you want to do it today?"

"It's just too much."

"It'll be bad, but you'll get through it."

Barry shook his head again. "No."

"Barry –"

"No." And with that Barry was across the room again, speeding away, and then there was a distinctive thump and Barry was sprawled out on the floor next to the hallway entrance.

"Force field," Cisco said.

"When did you put in a force field?" Caitlin said.

"Why did you put in a force field?" Felicity added.

"I thought it might come in handy," Cisco said, "Apparently it does."

Barry banged his fist against the wall, then spread both hands flat against it. He was hyperventilating, he couldn't breathe. He couldn't get out – he needed to get out.

"Barry," Felicity said. She started to walk over to him, "Can we go sit down? Just us? Like yesterday?"

Barry turned around, panic stricken "Felicity I can't, I can't do it, I can't."

"OK," Felicity said, "But I don't want you going home like this. Come on, let's go talk, OK? We'll just sit for a little."

Barry hesitated and Felicity took his hand, then put one hand around at his shoulder and they walked through one of the opposite doors, through the training room, and into the little side one with the couch in it. Felicity closed the door behind them.

"Well," Caitlin said, turning to Oliver, "Looks like you made a good call on inviting Felicity over."

"Yeah," Oliver said, "Let's just hope she can work it out."

LIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

When Barry sat down on the couch he felt numb, exhausted and scared and numb. His mind was spinning again and he didn't want to leave now, was terrified of leaving that room with Felicity and going back out there where Oliver would strap him to a table and cut him up again. He was trembling.

But he was still pretty surprised when Felicity stuck a piece of twine into his hands and said "Untie all the knots."

Barry gave her a look, and she just gestured at the twine again. Barry thought she was crazy but he started untying the knots, of which there were many. It was mindless work, picking at the string and getting the knots out. By the time he finished almost ten minutes had passed and he was staring at the twine and realized his breathing was nearly even and he had stopped shaking.

"Thanks," he said, looking back up.

"You're welcome," Felicity said, taking it back from him. "Now tell me what's going on."

Barry shuddered. "I don't know I – it was time for me to go and I procrastinated I just – I'm always late and it takes me five seconds to get here so I just – I just waited a little bit – just fifteen minutes – and then – then I really didn't want to go and I waited another ten and then I panicked and I just – I just kept pacing and looking at the clock and thinking about how I had to go and how much I didn't want to go and then you guys called and Oliver was going to be mad and I was afraid – I was afraid it be worse and then I just… I just panicked after that."

"Alright," Felicity said, "Well, you don't need to panic. Oliver's not mad, and he definitely won't make it worse because you were late."

Barry cringed. "He's done it before."

"Not with something like this," Felicity said. She paused. "Wait, he didn't, did he? Because seriously I will kill him –"

"No," Barry said, "he hasn't, I was just afraid he would."

"Well he won't," she said, "I'll make sure. I mean, I don't think he'd do it anyway, but I'll make sure he absolutely doesn't."

"OK," Barry said. He crossed his arms like he was cold, looking at the ground.

"Do you feel OK now?"

"Y- yeah, I guess."

"Shaky?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want to lie down?"

"No."

"Feet on the ground?"

"Yeah."

"Do you want to go back now?"

"No."

Felicity paused. "You will have to go back eventually."

Barry covered his face. "I don't want to do it today."

"I know," Felicity said, "But you never know, the thief could show up tomorrow, and you have to be ready."

Barry groaned. "I really don't want to do it today. I can't keep doing this, Felicity, it's too much."

Felicity put her hand on his back again. "What would make it better?"

"I don't know," Barry said, "If he didn't tie me down. If there were more breaks. If he stopped when I asked him to."

Felicity frowned. She couldn't change any of those things. "Those are –"

"I know," he said.

"Well what about afterwards?" she asked.

He shrugged. "It's… I guess it's better when you stay with me. Sometimes I just… I don't know."

"OK," she said. Then an idea struck her. "What if we did something fun afterwards!"

Barry looked up at her. "I don't usually feel like doing anything afterwards."

"I could get ice-cream," she said, "Blankets. TV. What's your favorite movie?"

"I don't know," Barry said, "I think ice-cream will make me sick."

She frowned at him. "Alright, do you want to go somewhere? Movies? Zoo? Museum?"

He shook his head.

"A bar?"

"I can't get drunk."

"How about the mall? I'll make Oliver buy you whatever you want."

"I don't really feel like going anywhere," he said.

She frowned at him again. "You're not helping here."

He shrugged.

"Alright, well, I'll think about that, how about before the session, so you know, no repeats of today."

Barry tensed. "I don't know," he said, "I just – I try not to think about it."

"OK, well how about you come here an hour early, and we'll just, hang out."

He hesitated.

"I'll lock the door, and if you want to procrastinate, I will give you a half hour of leeway."

"OK," he said.

"Do you want to go back now?"

"No."

"I'll sit with you again afterwards, and I'll see if Cisco can find some ice cream."

"It'll make me –"

"Sick. You know, I don't think ice cream counts, ice cream is good for the soul."

Barry huffed. "Tell that to my stomach while I'm trying not to puke."

"Well, we'll see."

She paused, and Barry kept staring at the floor, until the silence stretched. He looked back up, his face pained. "You want me to go out now, don't you?"

Felicity gave his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "You're not panicking. You're OK. It's time to go."

He gave her another pleading look.

She rolled her eyes. "Come on." She grabbed his hand and dragged him off the couch and Barry sulked after her, going back out. She told him to wait in the training room and she'd get Oliver.

Barry waited, and couldn't help thinking that was a bad move on her part. His mind started to wander again. He looked over at the table and tensed, clenching and unclenching his hands. A minute later Oliver came in, Felicity right behind him.

"Alright," Oliver said. He didn't make any mention to the little fiasco before. "We're doing the shots again today."

Barry's frown deepened, but he wasn't sure what he expected. At this point there wasn't really a preferred choice.

"But we're going to do it a little differently."

Barry tensed up all over again, his eyes darting from Oliver to Felicity. Different? Different how? A million scenarios flashed in front of his eyes, and none of them looked good.

"I'm not going to use any restraints."

Barry froze.

"No – none?" he asked.

"None."

For a second, his whole body relaxed, a huge weight lifting from his mind. No restraints. No table. No being held down, no not being able to move, no having no control, no helplessness.

Then it slowly started to sink in.

"Last time you said that you shot me with an arrow," he said. Barry looked at Oliver, but he didn't have his bow, and he said he was using the shots. Barry started to fidget restlessly.

"No arrows, I promise," Oliver said.

"Then what are we doing?" Barry asked. He was hesitant now. At least when he was tied down he knew what Oliver was going to do. He was swarming with anxiety.

"Um, yeah, what exactly are you doing?" Felicity asked.

Oliver turned to her and smiled. "I'm letting him run."

Felicity just looked at him confused, and Oliver pointed to one side of the room, where there was the characteristic tray filled with shots and serums and things Barry didn't want to think about. Oliver turned to him.

"I'm going to be over there, and I'm going to inject you with the serum. Once I do, you're going to run to the opposite side of the room." Oliver pointed to where there was another tray and a couple of chairs. "Felicity will be there, and she'll have the antidote. As soon as she injects you with it, the pain will stop. Probably fairly instantaneously with your healing." Oliver paused again. "If you make it, you get five minutes to relax before the next one. If you don't make it, then you have to go through however long the serum lasts, and you won't get a break in between shots."

"How long will the serum last?" Barry asked.

"The first one, two minutes. The others, I'm not entirely sure with you. One will probably be five, the other ten. That's what I'm guessing."

"Um excuse me, and I'm supposed to be giving him a shot? Shouldn't you get Caitlin to do that."

"You know how to give a shot," Oliver said, "Just stick him in the arm."

"That's comforting," Barry muttered.

"But I don't know which one –"

"I've got them all set up. They're labeled. I'll tell you which to use."

"OK," Felicity said.

"Alright," Oliver said, motioning to Barry, "Let's get started."

Next chapter soon :) Hope you liked this one