A/N: A Big Thank-you to mphs95 who made this chapter possible! Thanks for the plotline help and the Beta-ing!

Chapter 20

Howard's eyes lit up as he saw the scantily clad Sailor Moon sliding upside down the pole on the stage in front of him. Tonight's show promised a manga theme, which he was sure Leonard would enjoy. Leonard was sitting listlessly, the table was littered with the glasses from his previous three drinks. Howard would need take the bull by the horns to cheer his friend up.

"Leonard it's manga night!" Howard said excitedly. "Bernadette said I'm only allowed at the strip bar for bachelor parties, a death, or breakups. Come on dear friend, let's enjoy this night of wife sanctioned debauchery. Look Sexy Sakura from Naruto is on next."

Leonard grabbed his glass of scotch and slammed in back in one hit before tossing it on the sticky table. To Howard's dismay, it didn't look like he was slowing down any time soon.

"Buddy, I think you need to take it easy with the drinks." Howard said as his eyes glanced at the stage.

"If there was ever a time to drink it's now." Leonard muttered. He flicked the condensation that was building up on the glass. His glass was now stuck to the table. "Howard, this place is disgusting."

"Disgustingly awesome! A sexy pink haired ninja stripper? I think I'm in heaven" Howard said as he gazed at the stage.

Leonard watched the stage as Sakura pulled down her hood to reveal her pink hair. Howard glanced over and he could tell that Leonard wasn't really paying much attention to the show.

"Okay, Leonard what is going on with you and Penny? I know she's been acting a bit funny in the past few weeks, but I can't believe you two split. Were things really that bad between you?" Howard enquired.

"Oh if you want to know about Penny, maybe you should ask her new know it all, blow hard, BFF confidant Sheldon. Now he's not just an expert in physics, but he's venturing his vast knowledge into relationships also." Leonard sneered.

"Mister it took me four years to kiss my girlfriend? Yeah, I don't think you need to worry about Sheldon being a relationship expert." Howard laughed. "Why what did he say?"

"He had the nerve to tell me that I put Penny up on a pedestal. Me! That I look at her as perfect and that she can't be herself around me. Or at least that's what Penny told him." Leonard said tensely.

As Howard listened, Leonard continued. "If anyone knows that Penny is not perfect, it's me. Who do you think is the one that has to constantly clean up the mess she calls her life? Sure she's got a good job now, but who paid her rent countless times? Who bought her a new car when she needed one? Who always pays her share of the takeout, because she blew her money on a fancy new pair of shoes? Who listened to her constantly whine about her crappy acting career and the roles she wasn't getting? All the while, she did nothing about it for years! Good Lord, I know she's not perfect. Her and Sheldon have their heads shoved up their own asses, that they can't see reality."

Howard laughed. "Well I know Sheldon definitely has his head up his ass most of the time. I think Amy is slowly helping him come around though. As for Penny, nothing you just said to me is really news. Why is this suddenly bothering you? Penny has always been a bit of a mooch. She's always been an out of work actress since we've met her. What changed? Why is this suddenly bothering you?"

"The problem is, I've been nothing but a great boyfriend to her. I'm the one that is always there for her, but she's more than once confiding in Sheldon. I'm the one who helps her out when she needs anything, but she just flat out ignores me when she's emotionally stressed. I'm tired of her using me. I'm tired of never being good enough. I'm sick of always being pissed on by everyone."

"And you don't ever use her?" Howard asked.

"Me! Use her? I don't know what you are talking about." Leonard said tensely.

"Well, sometimes it seems like you just like to trot out your beautiful girlfriend to show her off like some sort of showpiece. Remember when you were trying to get tenure? You had her show up in that dress and even bragged about how she was going to get you tenure. You were totally using her banging body for your benefit. Believe me, we all appreciated seeing her in that dress, but sometimes you like to show off your hot girlfriend instead of your girlfriend Penny. "

Leonard tensed up as he heard this. He worked hard on his relationship with Penny. She was as much part of the tenure plan as he was.

"You don't know what it's like to struggle in a relationship. You met Bernadette. Boom, before I could blink an eye, you two were happily married" Leonard said curtly.

"That doesn't mean that we don't have our share of problems. It wasn't that easy for me all that time I was single. I was looking for love for a long time, but half the girls I met didn't take me seriously. All they usually saw was that funny little Jewish guy, with the silent Indian dude. Things didn't get too much further than that. Well except for Sailor Moon that one time…"

Howard chuckled before he gazed up at the stage for the Girls of Inuyasha. "You know the thing that surprised me the most about you and Penny was how easily you forgave her for hooking up with Raj"

"Believe me, I was not happy about that, but technically we were not together. I can't really fault her for that." Leonard said coolly.

"I guess…but it's kind of code that you don't hook up with your ex's friends, and Raj violated the Bro Code. He was even creeping on Bernadette." Howard shook his head before continuing.

"Listen, Penny probably confides in Sheldon because he sees her as she is, an all-around good person who is a mooch and nosy, but someone who is always there for him in turn. You are the one with the savior complex. You want to always save her and be that hero, and are unhappy when she turns to someone else. Do you ever call her out on stealing Wi-Fi? Or not paying her share of the takeout? No, cause you want to be the hero. Sheldon simply doesn't care and says what he thinks. Maybe that's what she needs sometimes. If you want that person to be you, you two need to change how you see each other.

"I do not have a saviour complex" Leonard said angrily. "I don't think my trying to help my girlfriend when she needs it puts me in that role. I just feel like she thinks I'm not good enough for her sometimes."

"I don't know why you ever feel insecure! You are the only one of us that has gotten all the hot babes! Joyce Kim, Leslie Winkle, Dr. Stephanie – who was mine first by the way, that physicist chick that Sheldon was friends with, Oh yeah Elizabeth Plimpton?, Priya, that old bird with all the money, that goth chick from the comic book store, and of course Penny. You're smart as hell, you have an amazing job at CalTech. What is your problem? Why do feel like you are not good enough? I just don't get it." Howard exclaimed.

Leonard looked down at the sticky table and sighed. He had never felt good enough his whole life. He had constantly been compared to his brother and sister and had come up short. His mother never showed him any type of love or affection. She practically treated him with disdain. His father was aloof. Was he putting his insecurities on Penny? Granted, he was not happy with how Penny and him communicated, but was it really the end of the world?

"You know Bernadette and I have our problems, she constantly makes remarks about me making less money in front of people and often treats me like a child. I don't like that. I'm sure she doesn't like some of my behavior; maybe I got used to living with my mom and her doing everything, and expect Bernie to be like my mom and not my partner. I know that frustrates her, but we accept that we are not perfect. We try to talk about it, and we know when to leave certain things unsaid. It's about accepting the other person for who they are."

"Maybe I shouldn't have freaked out on Penny the way I did. I kind of put a lot of stuff that I was holding in on her. But I don't know, I just don't think things can go back to how they were. I know I don't want them to."

"Well maybe things shouldn't go back to how they were. It sounds like it wasn't exactly healthy."

"Yeah maybe not." Leonard sighed.

"Do you know what I think?" Howard asked

"What?" Leonard said.

"I think you should forget Penny for tonight, and enjoy the show! The girls from Bleach are on next, and you know they are going to be wild." Howard said excitedly.

"You're right. No more Penny tonight." Leonard pulled out his wallet and raised his glass. "To the girls of Bleach!" The two friends clinked their glasses.

"God I love strippers!" Howard smiled.

"Shit Jessa, try to walk at least. You are total dead weight." Courtney hissed. She was trying to drag her friend up the stairs of 2311 Los Robles Avenue.

"Court, I really don't feel well. I feel so dizzy. I think I need to go to the hospital." Jessa mumbled.

"And what are you going to tell them Jessa? I don't have insurance and I'm on parole, and I stole drugs and took them? You'll be in a world of hurt more than just being a bit dizzy."

"Can't we take the elevator?" Jessa panted.

"No! It's out of order. Just our luck. Listen just one more flight of stairs and we'll be at Penny's apartment. She'll know what to do, she might have another drug that counters this drug or something." They climbed the last flight of stairs. "Penny is 4B, come on"

She dragged Jessa to the door, but she looked worriedly at her friend. "Okay, I'm out of here" Courtney said tensely.

"What? You can't leave me here outside her door. Courtney, I feel really sick! I think I might throw up."

"You are on your own. I have enough trouble in my life right now without having to deal with this. Penny texted and told us those drugs were dangerous shit, but you still took them. Idiot."

"I thought it was just some OxyContin type stuff. That stuff is amazing." Jessa started to slump in the door frame.

Courtney looked at her with fear in her eyes. She couldn't get in any more trouble that she already was in…and not for something stupid that Jessa had done. She knocked hard on Penny's door, and then gave her friend one last look. She ran down the stairs and out the door.

A/N: Oh Jessa Jessa Jessa. Why did you take the Diaxophedrine? Things seem to be heating up for Penny. Good thing she has Amy to help her… Reviews Please! I love them!