Chapter 23

A week had passed since Penny had left for Nebraska. Her friend Jessa had made a full recovery and had just been discharged home. Life had definitely calmed down, and things were settling back into their normal routines. Amy glanced over at Leonard who was typing away on his computer at his desk. He seemed quite calm and serene. Perhaps this time away from each other was going to benefit them in the end.

Leonard gathered his books, and glanced at Amy who was sitting on the couch flipping through a magazine, and Sheldon who was working at his whiteboard. "I'm going to head out for a bit, and then I'm grabbing dinner with Howard and Bernadette at their house. Are you guys interested in joining us for dinner?" Leonard asked.

"Oooh that sounds – " Amy started.

"-Sorry, we have dinner plans tonight" Sheldon finished. Amy gave a puzzled look at Sheldon but didn't say anything.

"Ok, no problem. We might be having a few drinks, so I might end up crashing there tonight."

Sheldon turned back to his board. "Thanks for letting me know so I don't worry."

"Don't you know….I know you pretty well by now" Leonard chuckled. "You two have a good night." Leonard gathered his keys, and headed out the door.

Amy looked over at Sheldon who was writing another equation on his whiteboard. "I didn't know we had dinner plans tonight? Did you not want to hang out with Howie and Bernie tonight?"

Sheldon took the lid back off his marker, and turned towards Amy. "Well, we haven't gotten much chance to have some time alone since Penny left. Leonard is home most of the time. I thought we could take this opportunity, to spend some undistracted time together."

"Oh really?" Amy smiled.

Sheldon started pacing in front of his board. "Yes, well I thought…well I mean, that we could be alone, I mean…yes, ummm..well Leonard is always home you know, and …I mean this is his home, he has every right, but I thought, well since we were already here, maybe we could stay here…and, yes, ummm…eat…yes…eat dinner."

Amy grinned up at her up at her boyfriend. He was rarely, if ever, at a loss for words. He seemed positively tongue tied. He had turned back to his board and put the end of the marker in his mouth. The problem was, it was the wrong end.

"Phfffft!" Sheldon spat the marker out. He ran over the sink and started to try to get the dye off his tongue. "Uuughh…this doesn't taste like watermelon", he groaned.

Amy ran over to the sink to see if she could help. Sheldon had his tongue under the running water, and kept spitting every couple of seconds.

"What is going on with you tonight? You seem so on edge?" Amy enquired as she handed him a clean tea towel. Sheldon grabbed the towel and started rubbing his tongue on it, trying to get the dye off.

"I don't know what you are talking about, tonight is just like any other night. Except that Leonard is not here. Otherwise it's the same. Absolutely the same." Sheldon muttered as he threw the towel into the hamper.

He was behaving so strangely. Jumpy…nervous. This was the first time they were completely alone together in a while. She had a hypothesis…it was time to test it. She took her hair tie from around her wrist and slowly tied her hair up into a messy bun. She took her cardigan off, and hung in on the back of Sheldon's chair. She slowly walked up to Sheldon

"You know Sheldon, you are right, it is just like any other night. We should focus on dinner. But, I'm not that hungry, but I do want to taste something sweet on my lips…" Amy stroked her fingers up and down his arm. Sheldon gulped, and felt his face start to flush.

"Something sweet like what?" he said nervously as he stared at Amy's eyes. His eyes traveled down to her mouth.

"Like this" Amy whispered as she reached up and gently put her hands behind his head, and kissed him on the lips. He seemed rigid at first but then Sheldon's mouth was responding with passion but his body remained stiff and tense. Amy tried to continue to kiss him, but he was awkwardly inching his body away from her. Amy broke off the kiss in frustration.

"I just don't get you sometimes." Amy looked down, her voice tense. She gave Sheldon a hurt look and then walked over the kitchen island to grab her cup of tea. "The last few times we were together, you were practically undressing me, taking off my top, kissing me everywhere. And now, you are back to being nervous just giving me a simple kiss. What is going on?"

"I don't know what you are talking about, you are the one that stopped kissing me." Sheldon said while staring down.

"I have no idea what is going on with you. Our relationship has been moving at a snails pace in the intimacy area. After our brief break, it was like you were a different person, grabbing and kissing me, undressing me….second base. It seemed so strange to me how quickly you got over your previous issues. And now, it seems like it is back to how things were before, where you are afraid to kiss me, to be truly alone with me. Like I said, I have no idea what is going on with you"

Sheldon walked over to his spot and sat down. He put his hands around his head and was just staring at the living room table. He sat there in silence for what felt like endless minutes. Amy sat down in the chair and stared at him. Sheldon looked over at Amy. "Can we talk about something else right now", he said tensely.

Amy looked over at him. She was so puzzled at what must be going through his head right now. How could he go from practically pawing her clothes off last time they were alone to this? He was the one that wanted to be alone with her tonight, but he was acting like he didn't want her to touch him. She knew that this conversation was going nowhere, so she decided to drop it.

"Sure" Amy said flatly. She picked up her magazine, and started flipping through it again.

Sheldon looked at her worriedly, and then got up and went to the kitchen. "I can make us dinner. Are you ok with chicken and some salad?"

"Sure" she said distantly from her magazine.

Sheldon looked sadly at her, and then began getting the ingredients out for dinner.

Dinner was awkward affair. The movie on the couch afterwards was equally difficult. They were speaking like two strangers. Polite, but indifferent...

Amy sighed looking at him. This evening was not at all what she was expecting. She had been excited when Sheldon told Leonard that they wanted to spend the night alone, that they would actually be having fun together like they normally do. It didn't mean that she wanted to immediately drag him into the bedroom, but she was hoping for some closeness between them. She really wasn't expecting this completely aloof evening that they ended up having.

"Maybe we should have gone to Howard and Bernadette's" Amy muttered quietly. She turned to Sheldon, "Listen, I think I am going to go home now. We can talk some other time." She got up and put her cardigan back on and started heading towards the door.

Sheldon got up and jumped in front of the door. "Wait Amy….I was wondering if you'd like to stay over here tonight?"

"What?" Amy said shocked. This was the absolute last thing she thought Sheldon was going to say to her after the evening they had just had. "You want me to stay over?" she asked.

Sheldon grabbed her hand and led her back into the living room. "Yes, I don't want you to leave." He looked at her earnestly. "Please Amy." She nodded yes shyly at him and smiled. He didn't let go of her hand, and led her back to his bedroom. He walked over to his dresser and pulled out a faded old superman t-shirt. "You can sleep in this. I have a new toothbrush in the cabinet in the bathroom that you can use. You can use the bathroom first if you like." Sheldon exited the room and went back to the living room.

Amy grabbed the t-shirt and went into the bathroom. What was going on? She was completely confused. Is this why he had been all jumpy and nervous? Was he planning on them having sex tonight? Is that why he was acting so strangely? Amy felt her face flush. Was that it? She felt so unprepared. She held the t-shirt up to her face. It had been washed so many times and felt so soft. It smelled like him, like the light scent of his talc. She quickly put on the t-shirt which came down to her knees, and brushed her teeth. When she returned to the room, he was still in the living room. As she lay there in bed her heart was racing, she had no idea what was going on. Her hands started to shake. She could hear Sheldon enter the bathroom.

Sheldon returned to the bedroom in a plain white t-shirt and his pyjama bottoms. He turned off the lights to his room and turned on his bedside lamp. He quickly got into bed and looked over at Amy. Her face was flushed red, her arms were full of goose bumps. Her hands were slightly shaking. "Amy what wrong?" he asked concerned.

"I…I…I have no idea what's going on?" Amy stuttered.

"Hey…Hey…just relax. All we are doing is lying in bed together. Come here." Sheldon said softly. He pulled Amy towards him so that she was snuggled closely in his arms. They lay in bed like that quietly, and he slowly felt Amy's body relax into his. Her breathing slowed down and her face went back to its normal colour.

"This evening has just been so confusing, I honestly have no idea what you are thinking." Amy said softly.

Sheldon leaned over and softly stroked her hair. "Oh Amy, this is hard for me to say….but…ok here goes." He took a big breath, "I have no idea what I am doing."

"What?" Amy said curiously.

"I always know what I am doing. I don't just know what I am doing, I always EXCEL at what I do. I honestly have absolutely no clue what I am doing in respect to this aspect of our relationship. I don't know how to deal with that. This is not something that I can go online and just look up and learn. Well…I mean, there is plenty of material online…I mean no, that's not what I mean. That's not what I am looking up online. Oooh…this is not coming out right at all.." Sheldon said flustered. It was his turn for his face to flush red.

"Sheldon, it's ok. I don't know what I am doing either. It's new for both of us." Amy said softly. "Can I ask you one thing though?"

"Yes"

"How come you seemed so comfortable, in your office on your desk, and the other time back here at the apartment? You didn't seem scared at all, you seemed like you were totally at ease with what was going on."

Sheldon's face now completely flushed red. He sat up and started to sweat a little bit. "Umm….well you know the key to success is vivid visualization right. Olympic athletes use it all the time. So maybe I…ahh.."

"Yes?"

"I…ummmm…"

"Go on" Amy urged.

"I have visualized a lot of ungentlemanly scenarios with you in vivid detail over the past few years" he blurted out. "Up til now, I never let myself 'go there' with you, in touching. When I finally accepted that it was ok to touch you that way, it felt so easy to slip into some of the things I had thought about. Like my office desk…I had thought about that one. A lot. Much to my surprise, when it was actually happening, it felt even better than I had visualized it. Of course I didn't visualize the janitor interrupting us."

Amy smiled at him. "Wow, I didn't realize that you fantasized about us so much. What other fantasies have you thought of Dr. Cooper?"

Sheldon gulped. "Hey, let's not make this all about me. What about you? What have you fantasized about?"

"Me? Oh, you know I'm a woman of science. I don't waste my time on things like that" Amy laughed.

"Oh really? Miss romance novels and poetry books doesn't have ANY fantasies? I find that hard to believe."

"Oh ok. There are the standard Pride and Prejudice Darcy fantasies, perhaps a few of you on a horse with a sword…" Amy smiled.

"None of me as a physicist?" Sheldon said smirking.

Amy could feel her ears go red. "No…..what are you talking about…I mean you are a physicist, so yes, I guess day to day fantasies has you as a physicist."

Sheldon smiled and looked at Amy.

"What?" she asked.

"I read your fanfiction, Amelia and the Time Traveling Physicist!"

"Oh my God! I can't even look at you I'm so embarrassed" Amy grabbed a pillow and buried her head in it. "How did you find out about that? You are not supposed to know about that!"

"Well Penny told Leonard, who told Howard and Raj. I heard them laughing about it in the cafeteria. I went to my office and looked it up. I must say though Amy, I think you have a real talent for writing. I especially enjoyed the barn scene after they failed at getting the time machine working with the parts from her typewriter. Quite saucy!"

"Oh my god…." Amy moaned, her head still buried in her pillow.

"Well, at least we know that I am not the only one with a vivid imagination." Sheldon gently pulled the pillow away, so that Amy was looking at him again. Her face was still red with embarrassment. He gently stroked her hand. "To get back to our conversation, I guess even though I visualize stuff, I'm still scared that I am going to screw up, and I hate being anything less than perfect. I was trying to keep my distance tonight, because when I kiss you, I feel like I'm only a few steps from ummm….being ungentlemanly"

Amy looked at Sheldon and brushed a stray hair off his forehead. "Sheldon, I'm really scared too, I mean really scared. I practically had a full blown panic attack after our strip counterfactuals game the other night."

Sheldon looked surprised. "Really? You've been the one pushing us to be more intimate. I thought that you were ok with everything."

"I do want to be more intimate, but you have to remember, that this is so new for me too. I've never done any of this before either. I'm scared that I'll screw up too, that I won't know how to make you happy, that you are not going to be impressed with my body, that it will hurt, that it might change us. I'm so scared of so many things, but at the same time, I want to experience all these things with you."

"Well, we can erase a couple of those fears right here. You always make me happy, just being in the same room makes me happy cause you are here. Just the lightest kiss from you practically unhinges me. I don't think you need to worry about you making me happy."

Amy smiled up at him. "You make me happy too, more than I could ever describe. I can't even imagine my life without you."

Sheldon lay her down on the pillow and stroked her face. "As for your other fear…" He gently stroked his hands down her arms and then back up. "You are so incredibly beautiful. More beautiful is the fact that you don't even know it. I love every inch of you, every curve, every freckle. You are just perfection" he whispered into her ear. He moved his mouth over to her lips and gave her a soft gentle kiss. Amy melted into the kiss as she ran her hands through his hair.

"I don't think it's possible for us to screw up. When we are together, everything always feels right." Amy said softly.

"When I asked you to stay over tonight, I wanted to do exactly this. I wanted to hold you in my arms all night. To kiss you. To see you smile. That is what I wanted." Sheldon said as he caressed Amy's neck.

"That's what I want too. I want to fall asleep in your arms, wake up in your arms and stare into those beautiful blue eyes of yours. Let's make it so." Amy said.

"Captain Picard!…Good Lord woman, you drive me wild. Don't get me thinking about Star Trek….I'm having enough trouble with fantasies…"

"Are you going to boldly go where no man has gone before?" Amy laughed.

"Stop it!" Sheldon grabbed her pillow and whacked her with it. They both burst out laughing. "Come here" He pulled Amy towards him and wrapped his arms around her. He looked at her intently, and then reached over and turned off the lamp.

"Resistance is futile, Amy, resistance is futile." He softly placed his lips and hers, which melted into a passionate kiss.

"Yes it is, Dr. Cooper, yes is it…."

A/N: What happened? Did they? Didn't they? Hmmmm….. I hope you enjoyed Sheldon and Amy getting closer.