Chapter 23

Harry had walked out to the main grounds of Hogwarts in the early part of the morning. He was alone, apart from Hedwig and was walking through snow and blistering cold weather. In Hedwig's mouth was a letter Harry wanted her to deliver.

"Remember to deliver this to Sirius girl" Harry said "Once you come back I'll have a nice dinner for you"

The owl hooted with affection, Harry knew she was anticipating it. He just smiled and stroked her feathers once more before letting her go. He watched in awe, as Hedwig flew in the morning sunrise; a small smile formed on his face.

He remained there for some odd reason. He noticed that the weather warmed up a little bit; it was still cold but it was warmer than it was 10 minutes ago. Snow had just started to fall at that moment. For some odd reason, Harry found peace in this strange weather.

He stood there in the flurry of snow. Suddenly he raised both his hands up as though he were impersonating a tree and stood there. He closed his eyes and let the winter wind carry his worries away. He felt very happy and peaceful just standing here and not worrying; enough so that he laughed. He then opened his eyes and looked around. He hoped that no teacher or student was watching him.

He brushed off all the snow that had accumulated on him and walked back towards the castle. Little did he know that a certain witch was indeed secretly watching him from elsewhere.

Before he entered the Gryffindor common room, he decided to use a spell to dry himself, which Hermione had taught him a couple days ago. It was helpful for the upcoming Christmas season, with all the snow and the occasional snow fight. It wasn't prohibited here like it was with schools back home. Occasionally some of the Gryffindor boys would have secret snowball fights in the weekends. Harry would sometimes go with Ron and sometimes he would just be too tired or not in the mood for one.

As Harry walked through the portrait he noticed that the common room had been empty apart from a slumbering witch on the couch with an open book covering her face. Harry smiled and walked over to her. He removed the book covering her face and placed it on the nearby table. He observed the sleeping witch as she slept and thought about how peaceful and beautiful she looked.

He imagined observed her 'perfect' features; her nose, her lips, her hair which had swayed all over her cheeks. Harry softly moved the strands of hair on her cheek behind her ear. However Hermione groaned and opened her eyes; she had awakened from the contact.

She turned herself around to see who or what had awoken her, she smiled when she that it was just Harry.

"Hi" she said, sheepishly

"Hi" Harry replied, with a smile of his own.

Hermione rubbed her eyes for a while and then sat up straight.

"How long have you been there?" she asked, again sheepishly.

"A few minutes" he said, sitting back down on the couch next to her.

"And have you just been standing here?" she asked, curiously.

Harry smirked and then said in a very creepy voice, "Yes, I have. I just enjoyed watching over you while you were asleep. It really had me going"

Hermione started giggling and Harry started chuckling.

"I'm just joking" Harry said, smirking.

"But what were you doing, really?" she asked

Harry sighed "I went outside for a little stroll outside the castle. I took Hedwig with me. I let her go and fly about. And then I just came back" he said.

"So let me get this straight. You are about to be murdered by some unknown psychopath. And you decided that it was in your best interest to wander about the castle all alone, without telling at least one person?" she said.

Harry nodded and then said "Pretty much, yeah"

SMACK!

Hermione had slapped Harry's arm with both power and ferocity.

"OW! What's that for?" Harry winced grabbing his arm.

"You know bloody well what" she said, with an angry

"Jeez Hermione, that really hurt" he winced, once more.

"You deserve it" She said, with the same look.

"For what?" harry asked

"For making a joke out of it! This is serious Harry, it's your life we're talking about. You just can't keep endangering yourself!" she yelled.

"I didn't realize sending a message could 'endanger' me" Harry said, sarcastically.

This caused Hermione to slap him again on the arm, only this time it wasn't as hard.

"Okay, fine. I'm sorry it won't happen again" Harry said.

"Harry this isn't some class, where you can just apologize and get away with things. You have to actually understand what's at risk here" Hermione said.

"There isn't anything at risk though" Harry said.

"What're you talking about, you can't say that your life is-"

"No, you don't understand Hermione. My life, isn't worth the risk of others losing their life. My life doesn't hold any real value like everyone else's" he said.

"Can you really be that thick and believe that your life has no value, that you don't mean anything to someone. Harry, you mean something to a whole lot of people, you something to Sirius, something to Ron, something to...", she paused and took a deep breath "...me"

Harry looked at her differently, before he was angry, now he was shocked.

"You can't say that you're not worth something" Hermione said, with tears starting to form.

Harry stared at her and then looked off into the distance "You know, it's not going to matter much, even if it's worth something to someone else. It's just going to disappoint them"

"Oh, Harry, you are not a disappointment" Hermione said.

"That's not what I meant" he took another deep breath "I always thought that I, despite everything would grow up normally. This situation made me realize that I'm not going to have that type of life. I can't ever stop being on my guard because people are going to be after me. I probably will never understand why but it doesn't matter to me. I don't care if people hunt me, whether it is because of my fame or some other reason. What I do care about are the people around me. I don't want them to suffer for my sins or my battles. I want to shield them away from all of that...and I'm afraid that I won't be able to protect them; to protect you...and I don't want that kind of blood on my conscious" he concluded.

He then turned to face Hermione who had tears running down her face.

"What are you trying to say Harry?" she croaked.

"I'm saying that I can't afford to lose the people closest to me. That's all I have, every real connection I ever made, I don't want those to be gone because of my fights and I can't afford to have them become my shields. I'm not worth saving" Harry said, with a pretty stern expression.

"Are you really that naive to believe that we won't keep fighting for you?" Hermione said, with clear anger in her voice.

Harry sighed and then said "No, I know you guys won't say no. And that worries me but I suppose it can't be helped"

Harry then, once again looked distantly "Answer this one question then" he said.

Hermione who was wiping her face of the tears had said "What?"

"If ever there comes a point, far out there when the structures fail us, where the rules aren't weapons anymore, where they become shackles that imprison us instead of the bad guys, and let them get ahead" harry turned to Hermione whose eyes where dazed in his glare, and expression blank as snow, "if ever this moment of crisis comes, will you still agree to fight by my side?" he asked.

Hermione tried to register everything he just said. She wasn't confused, she was just conflicted, and she didn't know how to answer.

"Harry...I-I just don't know" she said before taking off and leaving Harry to himself in the common room.

Harry sat there for a moment gazing at a nearby window. Then he got up and left.

He walked to the Great Hall hoping to find someone in particular...and he did. She was sitting there reading a book and drinking something from the bronze goblet. Harry walked up to the light blonde witch.

"No board this time" he said.

The witch didn't flinch, move, or look at Harry. She just continued to read her book.

"I do have it if you want to play. I always bring it around with me. I guess I just keep hoping for a chance to play with you everyday" Luna said.

From beneath the table she took out a wooden board and from beside her she placed a small chest which had all the pieces.

"White or black?" she asked.

"Black" Harry said as he began to set the pieces on the board.

"Quite the gentleman" Luna said.

Harry just smirked at her and watched her set up her pieces.

"Same stakes?" she asked; Harry nodded.

Luna moved the pawn on the right edge of the board two spaces.

She smirked at him and then said, "Let the games begin..."

AN: I hope this chapter was a little insightful. I just wanted to show the maturity of Harry's character and his ability to understand and learn things quickly. If you guys recall Harry in this story knows about the prophecy that was said when Dumbledore was interviewing Professor Trelawney. However I also decided to add my own twist on that prophecy as well, but that's for later. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, please Rate and Review...thanks