Lost. Chapter 12.
A/N:Woot! My babies last year becoming a teen. Dondondon! Haha. Get it? If you don't, look up at the chapter number. Also, the last chapter made the 50 reviews mark (on FF)! Thank you so much for your support! Continue to review! Pretty soon this story will have 5,000 views on FF. I'm not sure about DA. The more people who review, the faster the chapters will come. I might be able to get two chapters a week if school and life (Yes, I have a life outside writing...called horses and my new puppy and school) allows. Usually, I'm completely against pairings of 'siblings' but I don't really could Taiwan and Kiku as siblings. Unlike Germany and Prussia and North and South Italy, they don't share the same last name. You can look at it any way you want; I'm not trying to change anyone's opinion. I'm just saying this is how I see it.
Disclaimer:Hikari does not own Hetalia, its characters or the song used below.
Can you tell me, softly
How you'll always haunt me
Can you help me
Hold me
Come to me now, slowly
You caress me, smoothly
Calm my fears and soothe me
Move your hands across me
Take my worries from me
I will sacrifice
I will sacrifice
All I have in life
To clear my conscience
I will sacrifice
I will sacrifice
All I have in life
Sacrifice, sacrifice
Can you feel me, solely
Deeper still and wholly
With your understanding
And your arms around me
Can you help me
Hold me
Whisper to me, softly
Move your hands across me
Take my worries from me
I will sacrifice
I will sacrifice
All I have in life
To clear my conscience
I will sacrifice
I will sacrifice
All I have in life
Sacrifice, sacrifice
I will sacrifice
Will sacrifice
Will sacrifice
Will sacrifice
I will sacrifice
I will sacrifice
All I have in life
To clear my conscience
I will sacrifice
I will sacrifice
All I have in life
Sacrifice, sacrifice
Lyrics to Sacrifice by T.a.T.u
Romano's POV
Spain was so much like his old self that Romano almost forgot it wasn't. Of course, it was Antonio but it wasn't the same when he had no memories. Of course, Romano filled him in as much as he could. He had decided against hiding things from him so he told him what happened at the pool.
Antonio never stopped smiling. It was as if everything Romano told him went in one ear and out the other. It frustrated the Italian to no end.
"Why do you keep smiling, bastardo?" Romano snapped harshly. It came out crueler then he had meant it but it was already said. Too late to take it back.
"You're so adorable, Lovi~" Antonio said happily. Romano sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He looked up desperately at the clock.
"I should be going." Romano declared. He stood up from the chair beside the Spaniards bed. Antonio pouted.
"You don't have to go now, Lovi." he said. Romano sighed.
"Visiting hours are almost over," he said then quickly added,"and I have somewhere I need to be."
It was a lie but he couldn't be in the room much longer. He turned on his heels going towards the door.
"See you later, Antonio." Romano said without looking back.
"Bye." Antonio said, his tone a little sadder. Romano quickly walked away. He couldn't stand being in the room for too long. Antonio was acting as if everything was ok when in fact, nothing was right. He couldn't stand the deception he felt. The Spaniard made him feel as though everything was normal and that he had nothing to worry about. After leaving the hospital reality would crash down harder then it ever did.
Ever worse, Romano lost both people closest to him. Feliciano was not his sweet, innocent fratello any more and Antonio didn't even remember him.
Yet Romano did not break down. He could not allow himself to when people needed him. A change was blowing in the breeze. Roles were switching. Antonio was relying on Romano as Romano used to rely on him and Feliciano used to be victim but now he was forcing everyone else to kneel as victims to his cruelty.
In the privacy of his car, Romano finally let out an elongated sigh of pent up emotions. He turned on the car and let the engine run. He found the low purr and soft rumble to be comforting to his ears.
The ring of his cell phone shattered the calm moment. Romano jumped in his seat; a manly scream escaping his lips as he fumbled to answer the device.
"Ciao?" he breathed into the phone.
"Ciao fratello." Feliciano's voice said from the other end of the phone.
"Veniziano?" Romano asked in disbelief. After all the fear of thinking his brother had been dead, he was glad to hear his voice even if it was uncharacteristically calm and collected.
"Why?" Romano asked quietly.
"Why what, fratello?" Feliciano asked in mock innocence.
"Don't play coy with me!" Romano snapped. "Why did you push Antonio into the pool?"
There was a pause before Feliciano spoke again. "I didn't do that, fratello."
"Yes you did, you liar!" Romano accused.
"I may have changed, Romano but I would never lie to you." Feliciano said in a heart felt manor. Romano felt even more confused but he didn't want to drive Feliciano away. He wanted to get him to come to his mind.
"Why did you call me?" Romano asked stotically.
"Don't sound so much like Ludwig." Feliciano said, spitting out the Germans name like it was poison. "I called to ask you to join me."
Silence.
"Please, fratello. We are two parts of one country. We are supposed to always be together. If you come with me you will gain much respect and we can reign together!" Feliciano said. The way he said his words with all that confidence, Romano felt a slight twinge of temptation. How many times had he longed to be stronger? To not rely on others to save him if he got in a pinch?
Romano had no intention of wanting to join his fratello but the more the idea rolled around in his head the better it sounded. If he joined him he could be with Feliciano. If he observed him he could find some way to get the old Feli back.
"Ok." Romano said.
"Ok?" Feliciano asked hopefully almost not believing his ears. Romano withheld a sigh and tried to sound convincing.
"Yes. You're my brother and I'll support anything you do." Romano said. "How should I meet you?"
"I do not want to take any chances of getting caught by any of the other countries so go to the train station. Alone. One of my men will meet you there and transport you to my new head quarters." Feliciano said.
"Ok." Romano said.
"I have already sent you the train ticket so you should receive them soon along with more detailed instructions." Feliciano said. There was a pause before he whispered "I miss you fratello."
Romano felt the hope rekindle in him. "I miss you too fratello. We all do." he said. He heard a crash in the background. "Fratello?" he asked concerned.
"See you in a few days." Feliciano said. He abruptly hung up.
Taiwan's POV
Taiwan gently carried the other Asian nation into their hotel room. She gently laid Kiku out on the bed. Her heart ached to see him in so much pain, even in his sleep. He winced with each breath, indicating a broken rib, he sported bruises and cuts all over his body, clearly deplicting the abuse he had sustained. She could also see scolded and torn skin along his back and neck.
The first thing Mei did after that was to gently unbutton his jacket. It had been ripped in some area and stained almost everywhere. Mei winced at the shoe print on his stomach. She gently unbuttoned it and took out her pocket knife to cut the arms of the jacket so that it could just be pulled out from under him when she pulled him towards her.
Kiku was left with his undershirt on. Not wanting to cut that off since that was the only clothing they brought; she carefully lifted his shirt over his disheveled head. She gently set him down on the bed. She plated a sweet kiss on his dirty forehead, blushing at his bare chest.
Mei went to the kitchen. She grabbed a towel and bowl from the kitchen. She filled the bowl with warm water and soup before returning to Kiku's side.
Kiku had not moved from his position. Mei set the bowl on the stand by the bed and dipped the cloth into the soapy water. She gently washed the skin exposed on Kiku's body and cleaned his wounds. She didn't know how to fix a broken rib so she stayed away from his chest as much as possible, with an exception to clean the scratch on his chest.
Mei then very carefully rolled him over. She felt her stomach churn to look at his back. Tears stung her eyes at the burns on his back. The burns had been rubbed off, only leaving the sensitive skin underneath. Feeling sick of the task at hand, Mei began to clean out his burn wound.
Kiku cried out quietly as she cleaned his burn. However, not being trained in the medical field, Mei didn't try anything other then cleaning it. After that, she used her knife to shred the sheet from the other bed into bandages. She felt guilty for tearing it up but she had decided long ago that she'd protect her brother at any cost.
She wrapped his burns, his deep cuts and part of his face and head where she had found a large cut on his scalp. After turning him over, she tucked him into bed and kissed his forehead.
"Oyasumi (Good night)." she murmured tenderly in Kiku's native language. She shut off the lights and got into bed. She went to bed as soon as her head hit the pillow, no longer having to worry about Kiku's safety. As long as he was with her, she wouldn't let anything happen to him.
France's POV.
Despite Francis' exhaustion, he couldn't stay asleep. It seemed that every hour he would wake up with a burning desire to make sure Arthur was alright.
For the first part of the night, Arthur was alright. He slept soundly with his back still to Francis. After around midnight, Arthur started a low murmur. His facial expression morphed into a look of discomfort. He tossed in his bed lightly, whimpering as if on the verge of tears. At first, Francis didn't take it too seriously. He hadn't expected the Brit to sleep as well as he already had considering what he had seen and been through in just the course of a day.
But his whimpers turned into quiet, tearless sobs. He clutched the precious bomber jacket to him tightly, even in sleep, and let his emotions pour out subconsciously. Francis sat up and went over to the Brit.
"Shh. Arthur, it's over now." he said empathetically. He gently rubbed Arthur's arm. Arthur let out a loud yell and turned to smack Francis' arm. Francis only tightened his grip. Arthur yelled more and twisted in his grasp, still sleeping.
"Shhh. It's alright Angleterre." Francis cooed. He carefully positioned himself over Arthur's flailing limbs and pioned him down. He continued to coo and murmur in a smooth, melodic voice.
Arthur's emerald eyes snapped open. The first thing he saw was the Frenchman's blue eyes, similar in color to Alfred's. He went limp under Francis' grip. His yells died down to a fresh wave of grief filled sobs. The loss of his precious Alfred was too much for him to bear. He closed his eyes, not wanting to see the eyes that reminded him of his lost lover.
Francis' heart broke for the man he secretly loved. Out of compassion for the man whose world had been flipped upside down, Francis gently pulled him into a hug. Arthur instantly wrapped his arms around Francis and buried his golden locks into Francis' shoulder. Francis hugged him back tightly and sang softly knowing nothing but time could ease Arthur's grief.
Arthur sobbed loudly into Francis' shoulder for a long time. When he couldn't cry anymore he just clung to Francis, imagining it was Alfred and whimpered. Francis, at that point, just rocked him gently like a child and hummed a lullaby.
When Arthur's whimpering ceased, Francis eventually drew back. Arthur leaned on the back of the bed, his opaque emerald eyes staring ahead as if in a trace. Francis' heart went out to him to see that Arthur had rebuilt the dam to hide his emotions so quickly.
He gently wiped Arthur's face of tears and let his hand linger on his face for just a heartbeat longer. He got up and smiled gently, hoping this would brighten the depressed aura emanating from Arthur.
"I'll be back, Angleterre." he said gently. Arthur didn't react to him; not a flicker of his eyes, not a nod or even a blink. Francis didn't even know how the Brit could go so long without blinking.
Francis bit back a sigh, not wanting to trouble Arthur if he did hear him. He left the room and knocked Gilbert's door. He waited patiently. He heard a slight thud behind the door followed by a muffled German swear before the door opened revealing the albino.
Francis would usually have laughed at how knotty and unkept the albinos hair was or by how wrinkled his clothing was but he knew he looked just the same.
"What's up, Francis?" Gilbert asked groggily.
"Come with me. We need to discuss things we need to do." Francis said. The albino was still for a few moments before it finally clicked in his brain. He nodded with a yawn.
"Yeah. Let me leave a note for West real quick." he said. Without waiting for an answer from Francis, the albino disappeared into his room. Within a few moments, he returned and grinned his classic grin at him.
"Let's go!" he said. The two members of the Bad Touch Trio walked to everyone else's room and got them. They decided to meet in Ivan and Yao's room since they were last to be visited. Some sat in chairs or in the bed while others stood around the room.
"Ok, so where do we go next, aru?" Yao asked.
"Mein bruder needs to see a doctor!" Gilbert said quickly looking surprisingly serious.
"Kiku needs one too!" Mei spoke up. Almost everyone murmured in agreement.
"Da, they need to be treated before we move them." Ivan said.
"Do you think Feliciano is in contact with any hospitals that they may be looking for Kiku or Ludwig?" Roderick asked. Everyone fell silent.
"Oui, that's a good point." Francis agreed breaking the silence.
"Well," Elizabetha began. "What if a couple of us go to a convenient store and buy some basic medical supplies and some food. Then we can head to wherever we're going to go."
A couple looked skeptical. "What if he's watching the convenient stores?" Roderick asked.
"I doubt it." Elizabetha said.
"Ja! We'll just have to take a chance!" Gilbert said firmly to Roderick. "Mein bruder needs help as soon as possible!"
"We understand that Gilbert but we need to think of everyone." Roderick said. "Not just one person."
"Your being over protective again! If you don't understand my situation then imagine if your precious little Elizabetha was hurt!"
Gilbert said getting angrier by the second.
Roderick stood up quickly. "Elizabetha and I are not together! We divorced and you know it!" Roderick said. His voice softened slightly. He wanted to be the one to keep things civilized. If left up to Gilbert, things would get uncivilized real quick. "But, I understand your urgency and your impatience. I think we need to plan things carefully so no one else gets hurt."
Gilbert glared at him. "You're over thinking could cause more pain to mein bruder!" Gilbert snapped. Ludwig's quiet sobs echoed loudly in his ear. "Don't you think Ludwig's been through enough pain and suffering?" he challenged all the people in the room. No one dared to speak. "I know both of us aren't good at showing emotion but even I can see he had feelings for Feliciano!" Gilbert yelled.
Francis laid a comforting hand on his friend's tense shoulder. Gilbert flinched at his touch. Elizabetha spoke up first.
"Gilbert, I understand you care about your brother but we must think about everyone." she said matter-of-factly.
Gilbert's fury snapped. The veins in his neck bulged as he yelled, "None of you have room to talk! You all only thought of yourselves during wars! You weren't there before the second Great War when my bruder struggling to get by! You weren't there when all the hope and faith he had put in Hitler come crashing down! You weren't there when he felt all the millions of deaths caused by his leader! You only thought of yourselves. I'm his older brother and it's up to me to look after him and protect him when no one else will!" Gilbert screeched.
His face was beat red and his hands were trembling with anger. Elizabetha noticed this and gently touched his hand. Gilbert quickly jerked away. Elizabetha went to speak but Gilbert cut her off.
"Nein! I don't want to hear any of your excused. I don't care what you do! I'm going to go to the convenient store whether you like it or not so do whatever you like." Gilbert said. He mumbled to himself in German angrily and glared at the people in the room as if daring them to judge his composure. He got up and quickly stormed out of the room.
Elizabetha sighed and went after him.
"I'll go talk to him." she said quietly. She left and headed in the direction of the albino.
Francis coughed to break the silence. "Well, what do you guys want to do?" he asked. The others shrugged.
"Gilbert has a point." Roderick forced himself to admit. "If we over think this, someone can get hurt. We should just go get things from the store and leave." he said.
"Ok. Please, consider coming to stay in France. It's important we all stay together and he won't suspect you to go there." Francis said. Everyone considered. No one else wanted to offer their own countries because of the damage Feliciano could cause if he were to find out where they were all staying.
"Sounds good." Ivan said. Everyone else agreed. Roderick said he'd talk to Elizabetha about Gilbert and he'd ask a few people to go to the store. They went back to their own rooms silently.
Upon entering his room, Francis immediately noted that Arthur hadn't moved since he had woken up. His face was dry of tears and his eyes still dead. Francis got a cup of water from the bathroom and walked to Arthur.
"Drink some of this." he said gently. He gently nudged Arthur's lips with the cup. Arthur obediently obeyed Francis but didn't move any of his limbs. Francis gently tipped the glass back and let Arthur have a small sip. He swallowed absentmindedly and continued to stare ahead. Francis gave him a few more sips before putting the cup down on the table. He fixed Arthur's hair to how Arthur usually kept it and gently patted Arthur's cheek.
"Don't lose yourself." he said with an encouraging smile.
Prussia's POV
Gilbert stormed out of the room after his outburst and quickly fled towards his room. He was only half aware of the rapid footsteps behind him or of someone calling his name. A hand seized his arm and forced him back. Gilberts fuming red eyes bore into the eyes of Elizabetha. Her soft expression surprised Gilbert. Never in his long existence had she ever given him that look. The sharp words died on his tongue.
"Gilbert," she said kindly. "Please don't run off." she said.
Gilbert was speechless in shock. His mouth formed an 'o' like a fish out of water.
Elizabetha's tight grasp on his arm softened. "I know you're angry and I understand. Please listen to me and hear me out. If you take Ludwig and just run away you'll be putting Ludwig in more harm then good. You're not the nation you used to be." she said softly. Her words were like a knife twisting in his heart, "You can't defend Ludwig against everything by yourself. It'll be safer if we stay together." she said. Gilbert's eyes hardened.
"Of course I'm not the nation I was before. I'm not a nation anymore! No one would help me because you didn't think of anyone but yourself! Have you ever lost your country? It's a horrible feeling; as if someone ripped out your heart, took away all your dignity and pride. There is nothing in me except for a black emptiness and I'm not going to let that happen to Ludwig!" Gilbert said. All the feelings Gilbert had learned to push away returned. His chest felt empty, his heart turned cold and his stomach wrenched in disgust at what he had become.
Elizabetha took a step forward and cupped his cheek. "You're wrong. There is much more in you then a black emptiness." she said with a kindness and tenderness that he never heard towards him before, "When I see you, I still see the same feisty, over-confident goofball from our childhood. You hide so many things from others but you care in your own way. Every time I see your face or your grin, I think of how lucky I am that your here." Elizabetha said.
"Liz..." Gilbert began. He was interrupted as Elizabetha gently pressed his soft lips to his. Gilberts mind froze and he didn't know how to respond. Elizabetha leaned back and smiled gently.
"Please consider staying with us; if not for yourself then for your brother." Elizabetha asked. Gilbert allowed a small smirk.
"Alright." he said. He gently kissed Elizabetha's lips again. It was only for a moment but it felt a whole lifetime for the two. Never before had a situation like this came up in their histories that had affected them all. It brought out the real side of everyone, including those that were the most guarded.
Gilbert and Elizabetha parted. Gilbert searched her face vigilantly. Elizabetha's mouth curved into a smirk, her eyes looking at him teasingly.
"Not a word to anyone." she purred.
"Pfft! Like I'd tell anyone I kissed you!" Gilbert smirked. Elizabetha smacked his shoulder.
"Jerk!" she exclaimed smiling.
Gilbert smirked and stumbled slightly. He regained his balance and smiled.
"Hey watch that!" Gilbert joked. "I'm not as young as I used to be." he said.
"You're not as awesome either." Elizabetha grumbled knowing how that would make him react.
Gilbert's mouth dropped. His scarlet eyes widened and filled with a fire.
"Vas? I'm totally awesome and you know it!" Gilbert exclaimed loudly. Elizabetha chuckled.
"Yeah, yeah. Sure." she said. Gilbert narrowed his eyes.
"Liz! Gilbert!" Roderick's voice called from down the hall. Elizabetha and Gilbert quickly separated and watched as the raven haired man hurried up.
"Yo Austria~" Gilbert exclaimed grinning, having forgotten his anger.
Roderick looked between them. "He'll stay with us." Elizabetha said.
"Good. How about the three of us go to the store?" Roderick suggested.
"Awesome!" Gilbert exclaimed grinning.
Roderick's expression stayed serious.
"Yo~ I'm going to go check up on West. Just give me five minutes and I'll meet you right here." Gilbert said.
"Alright." Elizabetha said. Gilbert retreated to Ludwig's room.
Hungary's POV
Elizabetha turned to Roderick.
"What's up?" she asked.
"Nothing." the aristocrat said with the same stony expression.
"How are you about Feli?" Elizabetha whispered. Back when Italy had been known as Chibitalia had been some of the best moments of her life. Roderick had been kind to her, Holy Rome and Chibitalia had been absolutely adorable and Prussia had been irritating. Even though he had been irritating, he had been the source of all the excitement.
Roderick sighed, "I don't know." he admitted truthfully.
Elizabetha blinked sadly in understanding, "I know. It just doesn't seem real."
Roderick nodded in agreement. "I-I feel as if I messed up some how. Maybe if I had been kinder or gave him more pasta..." he drifted off.
Elizabetha swallowed the lump forming in her throat. She had often thought of that herself, that maybe if she had been kinder or offered support to him more that maybe he wouldn't have felt such hatred.
"I know. I can't help think that maybe I -we-," she quickly added so he could relate, "could have been there for him more after he left your house." Elizabetha said. A tear escaped and burned down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away with the back of her hand.
"We failed him as guardians; us and his grandfather, though Rome didn't mean to disappear." Roderick said. Elizabetha nodded. "I do not wish to be cruel to you, Liz but I don't think we should hide from the truth." Roderick said.
Just then, footsteps hurried towards them. Elizabetha quickly wiped her tears before looking up at the advancing Prussian.
"Yo~ you ready?" Gilbert asked. Elizabetha forced a smooth smile, having perfected her fake smiles over the centuries.
"Yeah," she said. "Let's hurry up so we can get out of here."
Gilbert grinned at her and started walking ahead. Elizabetha kept her eyes trained on his back.
Gilbert was just as skilled at fake smiles like herself but Elizabetha could see through his act. His grins were just a mask to hide his inner emotions that he was too 'manly' to show. She knew he was having a hard time seeing his bruder in that condition. Even worse, he had liked the little Italian as well and knew Ludwig had feelings for him.
Gilbert had raised Ludwig since a child so they both shared an unbreakable bond (though they wouldn't show it or admit it openly) that not many other brothers understood. They had fought on the same side in WWII. Gilbert had stayed with Ludwig through the hardest moments and Ludwig had comforted Gilbert after the fall of the Berlin Wall.
On the surface, Gilbert was fine but Elizabetha knew he was fragile inside and was just grinning to prevent others from caring about him. Elizabetha saw how similar his two grins were but she had an expert eye for picking the real one.
His real grin had the ability to make her heart skip a beat, to make her heart beat beneath her breast and to make her want to kiss him, not like she'd ever tell him (she wasn't going to live the previous kiss down). His fake grin made her heart sink in her chest and made her want to hit him with her frying pan so that he would start smiling for real as he claimed his awesomeness.
Elizabetha could tell that his grin was fake but yet she had no urge to smack him. She only wanted to pull him back to her and hug him tightly and never let go; though she'd never live that down either and he'd most likely try to get away claiming that hugs weren't manly. She had known she cared about the Prussian but after seeing how Feliciano had changed, she realized how much she was glad that Feliciano hadn't hurt Gilbert.
It was a mystery how Gilbert was still alive when Prussia was dissolved and the Berlin Wall had fallen long ago. It didn't matter to Elizabetha since all that mattered was that he was alive and healthy.
A/N: Fail ending is fail. I couldn't think of anything else so I tried to wrap it up there but failed as you can see. Anyway, please review! Can I be a really selfish person and ask for seven reviews? The most reviews for one chapter (on FF at least. This same version is posted on here as well as DA) is six reviews and I really want to break that record. This chapter is the longest one I think. 16 pages! That deserves an extra review or two, ne? Also, if you haven't already, you NEED to read this book called Carry Me Home by Sandra Kring! It's the best book I ever read which is quite a title! Serious, as a fellow Hetalia friend, I can guarantee you that you'll laugh your arse off and bawl you eyes out all at the same time! I had so much trouble trying not to cry but I really didn't want to cry during Study Hall. READ IT! Thankies. 333