Chapter 9
Back to Blake
Seeing Seth this crushed makes me feel worse about Jack. I'm not sure why I mentioned bringing him home, he seems to want more out of me these days. I suppose I whine too much, first Jack touches me too often and explicitly, second Seth doesn't touch me enough. I don't want Seth to touch me like Jack does. In fact I wish Jack would just go. At night Seth use to bury me in his warmth and now all he does is run his hands across my goose bump covered arms.
I couldn't see his face even though I was facing him. The candles were poor lighting. Tentatively, I stretched my arms out. My fingers brushed against his face. It was slightly crusted with dried tears. Guilt buried it's self into my every fiber. "What exactly are you doing?" he asked no humor or laughter in his voice. "Why must you disconnect from me? Seth, I need you to be around for me!" I felt his face move under my fingers. Was he raising his eyebrows? Skeptically? "Blake, don't take this wrong." I drew a sharp breath of preparation. "But I feel like you are replacing me." My teeth sunk into my bottom lip, drawing a small ruby. Sure, Jack's way of swaying me and making me swoon was quite lovely, but he could never match up to Seth's touch. Warm and friendly like a cup of hot chocolate.
His expression softened. "That isn't the case though, is it?" Finally, I took my teeth off my lip. "No." my low murmur was never so audible. Seth's hands brushed strands of hair off my face. The air went dry with the tension of obvious desire. I felt entranced, hypnotized, by his barely visible gaze. The three words begged my mouth to form them. Just say them. Just three words and then thirsting tension would be quenched. "Blake…" he murmured into the black. "You should sleep, school is in a few hours." Unsure whether to be grateful or upset, I curled against him and closed my eyes.
I'm not too sure if I should have pressed closer, because it made me fall asleep. I wished I could tell Seth but I knew now wasn't the time. But I knew I had to tell him nonetheless. Quickly, I rolled out of bed and slipped jeans on. I yanked my hair back into a messy up-do. No matter how cruel, sick, and unusual it is, I have to break off things with Jack. Normally everything went by so swimmingly, but today it was like walking through hell in gasoline soaked pajamas. Finally, after school, Jack's handsome and friendly face appeared by my locker. "Hey there babe" he winked. "Jack!" I could feel my strength slip away from me. "Jack…I…it's…you're wonderful…" he began to frown. "You're breaking up with me?" I pursed my lips inward and nodded sharply once. He grinned a sinister unexpected slime like smirk. "That's just too bad now isn't it, you tease."