[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer
[A/N] I can't thank you enough for being such incredibly supportive readers. Your love for the characters in my story makes me feel so amazing.
FAQ's
How does Bella feel about her surgery? Does she regret it?
She thinks the decision was right, but I think, she didn't expect some things to be so difficult afterwards.
How long will Bella have to use the dilators?
For the rest of her life, unfortunately that's part of the deal. Does it hurt? Yes, most likely although it should get easier with time. Trying to avoid dilating like Bella does it, is not exactly helpful.
As usual, feel free to ask me questions, should you have any.
**5**
"Momma! Oh Momma, I missed you." Andy calls out, wrapping his hands around Alice's knees.
She leans down and hugs him, almost falling over when she lifts him up.
"I missed you too. And you've grown so much, sweetie. I can barely carry anymore."
"He's too heavy for you. Give him to me." I tell her, taking the little one from her again although he's protesting against it. He's missed her as much as I have. I will never let her go again, never.
We walk down the stairs and to my surprise Vicky is sitting next to Erica on the couch, her eyes hidden behind some huge sunglasses. In her hand there is a glass with brandy that she lifts to her lips every few seconds.
"Hey there, "she prattles at us. "Is there trouble in paradise? Erica says you've broken up."
"Erica knows shit." I snarl. Protectively I wrap my arms around Alice after putting the little one down. "Why don't you go and help your Nana in the kitchen," tell Andy, running my fingers over his hair.
"You let him wear nail polish? My parents would have beaten the crap out of me for that." Vicky mumbles before taking another sip from her drink. "Not that it matters anymore."
I've known Vicky long enough now to know that if she tells you something doesn't matter, it usually means the opposite. Behind her bitchiness lays a soul that has been wounded way too often.
"Well, then it's a good thing, Andy is not their kid. He can do whatever he likes. If he decides he'd rather be a girl, we let him." I tell her, trying to keep the emotion out of my voice. It's not her business how we raise our child anyway.
"Yeah, because it's so much fun to be freaks like us." Vicky laughs bitterly. "God, I'm so done with all this shit."
I sit down on the couch, pulling Alice on my lap. I grab the bowl with the candy from the table and feed her several pieces of chocolate. At least she's eating again. That's a good sign.
"Alice, are you going home with Bella and Andy, won't you?" Erica asks her, sounding a bit impatient. "We need the guestroom for Vicky."
"Why?" I ask Erica who grabs the sunglasses from Vicky's freckle-covered nose.
"That's why."
The bruises on both of her eyes are already turning into an ugly yellow. There is a cut underneath her right eye that has been stitched up with some kind of white tape.
"Shit. What happened to you? Did you report that to the police?"
She shakes her head, quickly putting the sunglasses on again.
"I don't want to. It would make James even angrier than he already is."
"James is a piece of shit and you should have left his sorry ass years ago."
"Maybe," Vicky whispers, emptying the glass of alcohol before she places it carefully on the table. There is a bandage around her wrist too. She pulls down the sleeve of her jacket, so that no one can see it. "But James is all I have."
"You're better off without him," Erica stats standing up to put the bottle with the alcohol away.
The situation is so awkward. I feel tempted to tell Vicky that something like that had to happen. James is a sadistic swine who treats Vicky like a slave. But I understand why she still loves him. He's all she knows, and it's not like it is too easy for her finding someone else. Maybe that's because I'm so scared to loose Alice.
"I want to go home. Vicky probably needs some rest and Andy is pretty lively."
We tell them goodbye and Andrea pulls me aside for a moment while Alice helps Andy into his car seat.
"Bella, I know that it's not my business. But I can't endure seeing the two of you so miserable. Maybe you should consider talking to someone professional. You're still going to that therapist, right?"
I shake my head. "I stopped a few weeks after the surgery. "I don't feel like I need it anymore."
"Bella, the surgery has fixed nothing inside your head. You need help to deal with the changes. It's not over just because you have the right set of genitalia now."
"But I want it to be over. I want to be normal. I just want—,"
"Mommy, are you coming?"
I hug Andrea and sit down on the passenger's seat.
"Momma, you need to drive really fast." Andy informs her, leaning forward in his set. "Mommy doesn't want to do it. But I really want the police to stop us."
"Did I miss something?" Alice asks me as she starts the engine. "The police stopped you?"
"Not me, Edward. You know how he drives likes. Andy found the whole incident incredibly funny. He likes everything that has to do with police stuff."
"Really? I wonder where he got that from."
"Don't you dare to compare our son to him. Charlie has made it pretty clear that he doesn't want anything to do with his…freak of a son." I practically spite the last word out. I hate everything that has to do with Brian. He's like a ghost who won't disappear. My papers may have been changed but he's still there. I want him to be gone forever. But on the other hand, if it wasn't for him, Alice and I wouldn't have a child together.
"I think you should write to your parents."
"No,"
"But they have a right to know that they have a grandchild. They'd love the little one."
I grab my handbag on my lap so tightly that my knuckles turn white. I don't know why she's bringing up that topic again. It makes me furious, and I don't want us to start fighting again. Not so shortly after finally making up after these horrible weeks apart.
"I'm sorry." Alice whispers after a few moments. "I shouldn't have mentioned Charlie and Renee. I know it hurts you to think about your parents."