I feel my stomach turn and my lungs feel as if they are not getting enough air. No. No it isn't supposed to be this way. No. Kieran isn't supposed to be the tribute.
"I volunteer as tribute!"
The voice that comes from my mouth feels alien and the words sound panicked and strained. I hear gasps behind me and Kieran comes blasting through the crowd, his arms around me before I can stop him.
"No, Tom! You can't! No! No!" I hear his begging and it nearly breaks me. I attempt to shove him away, but his grip is too tight.
"Kieran, I have to. I have to!" I try to extricate myself from his limbs, but he's much too strong and far too upset to be reasoned with...and I am far too close to a breakdown.
Arms appear to help and they hold him back away from me. Gwen. I see the tears in her eyes. She smiles at me, however, and motions for me to go. This is beginning to be too much and I struggle to make it to the stage without crying. I hear Sarah tittering to the mayor about me not waiting until volunteer were asked for, but he doesn't seem to care much. He knows what this means. He gets up, however, to read the Treaty of Treason. His tone and demeanor is different now. I stare straight ahead, trying to stay composed.
As is customary following the treaty, Sybil and I shake hands. I can see the unshed tears in her eyes. She's having just as hard of a time as I am. I feel her give my hand an extra squeeze and suddenly a thought occurred to me: I can't kill her. I know there will be other tributes. But if it came down to it, I am not sure I could follow through.
When everything is said and done, Sybil and I are swept into custody and led into the Justice Building. We are taken to separate rooms, ones that are far nicer than we're used to. The couch is made of velvet, a fabric I recognize from one of my mother's dresses. I realize what happens now.
Now we say goodbye.
My mother and Kieran appear first. Kieran launches himself at me, refusing to budge even an inch. My mother has tears in her eyes.
"You can't let him take any tesserae," I tell my mother, feeling Kieran tighten his grip.
"Of course not."
"And you can't leave again. I won't be here to take care of Kieran, so you have to."
This angers her and she doesn't attempt to hide it. "Tom, I was ill. Your father had just died."
"I know." A hush falls on the conversation, and we hold each other until it's time for them to go. I tell them I love them and give them each a kiss. They're escorted out of the room and I am left by myself for a time.
That is, until the baker's wife comes in.
The first thing I notice is how much Sybil looks like her. Piercing blue eyes and dark hair. In my interactions with her, she seemed extremely nice, and quiet. Her husband, on the other hand, was loud and prone to lashing out because of his nasty temper. I have seen Sybil come to school looking bruised and wilted.
"Tom, I just wanted to bring you these," Mrs. Crawley murmurs softly, holding out a small package. I take it gratefully, nodding in thanks, and open it. Cookies. She brought me cookies.
"Thank you."
"I'll keep an eye on them for you. As best I can."
"You don't have to..."
"I want to. Please."
I nod again, offering her a small smile. "Thank you. Truly."
She smiles and nods, and before I know it, she's left the room. I am hoping I don't see Gwen, but she's the next person that walks in.
"Gwen-" I can't even get any words out before her arms are wrapped tight around me, her face pressed into the crook of my neck. "Gwen..." I whisper, my voice cracking.
"I'll make sure your mother and Kieran eat, like we promised."
"Gwen..."
"I'll even hunt extra to get your mother something to trade for."
I gently pull away from her, my hands on her shoulders. "And you'll look out for them if I-"
"Don't you go there, Tom Branson. I won't hesitate to punch that stupid face of yours."
We smile at one another, tears in both of our eyes. Peacekeepers come in then. My hour is up and it's time to leave. I can feel Gwen's grip tighten and she fights against them when they grab her.
"Gwen!"
"Tom, I-"
And then she's gone.