[Disclaimer] Everything Twilight belongs to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer
[A/N] Thanks for your encouraging reviews. It makes me happy that some of you are so supportive of my writing.
**9**
In the middle of the night I wake up, noticing that Alice is not snoring peacefully at my side. Where is she?
I tiptoe down the stairs, finding her painting downstairs in the living room. She has some earplugs in and is humming to whatever song she's listening to right now. For a few moments I just stand and watch her work, fascinated by the way she seems to be totally absorbed in the painting in front of her.
It must have been forever since I paid a lot of attention to her works. Maybe that's a mistake. She's told me once that she's way better at painting her feelings than putting them into words.
Eventually, I place my arm on hers and blow a kiss right underneath her hairline.
"Hey," she tells me in a soft voice when she turns around. I kiss her nose very lightly and brush a paint covered curl out of her forehead.
"Did I wake you up? I tried to be quiet."
"No, you didn't. I woke up and you were gone. I didn't like it."
"I need to finish those paintings, and I couldn't sleep anyway, so I thought I make better use of the time."
I sit down on the couch and pet the place next to me, telling her to sit down for a moment and take a little break.
"You should go back to bed."
Shaking my head, I stretch my arms and legs for a moment before pulling her against my chest.
"You know, I love you. Do you? I hate that we're fighting so often."
"I'm sorry about that." I whisper, nuzzling my face against her neck.
A low sob reaches my ear and a heartbeat later she starts crying in my arms. Her body quivers and seeing her so broken feels like getting not one but a thousand knifes stabbed right into my heart.
"How could this happen to us? We love each other!"
"Alice, please stop crying. Everything is going to be okay. We'll be okay again. I promise."
"You were mad at me in Zafrina's office. I saw the look in your eyes when I made that comment about your surgery."
I sigh, taking several deep breaths through my nose before I speak up.
"You hurt me with that. More than with anything else you could have said. The surgery meant so much to me. I've dreamed about that for such a long time."
"I know. Don't you think, I fucking know that? But I see how you suffer, still although it has been three years now and the way you changed. You're so…embittered kind of."
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't, I have no right to take out my bad moods on you. I love you. I don't know why I'm that way."
I cry, covering my face with my trembling hands. Tears pour down my cheeks and I wipe them away, one after the other. I want a drink. I need one.
"I'll be right back." I croak, heading to the kitchen where I pull the last bottle of white wine from the fridge. I fill a glass and gulp the entire content down within seconds, before pouring myself a second glass.
"What are you doing?"
How does it look like?
"I thought you'd like to have some wine too. It helps me to relax."
She takes the glass from my hands and pours the wine into the sink.
"I hate it when you drink alcohol and you know it."
"It's just wine. Please, I don't want to fight again."
I wrap my arms around Alice, when she tries to turn away from me, lifting her up on the counter behind her. My lips find hers and I can hear her gasp into my mouth when she tastes the wine on my tongue.
"You can't drink when you are mad."
"Stop talking." I groan against her neck while my hands move under her shirt to cup her breasts. Soft and warm they are against my cold hands and I can feel how her nipples harden instantly.
"Bella, please, we need to talk."
I don't want to discuss my drinking habits with her because quite frankly there isn't anything to talk about. I like wine. It helps me to relax. There is nothing wrong with that. It's not like I'm an alcoholic like Charlie. I would never—
"Bella, stop, I can't. Not like this. Not now."
I drop my hands from her and turn around, fighting the urge to lift the bottle with the wine directly to my mouth. I want to drown all my pain in it. Maybe it would work. Instead I pour the content of the bottle into the sink. When I speak up again, my voice is cold like ice.
"See? There goes the thirty bucks of wine, Edward gave us for Christmas. I'm going to take a shower, if I'm still allowed to."
"Don't be angry now. It's not like I don't feel flattered about your sudden interest in me. It's just, I don't want us to be angry at each other when we make love. It doesn't feel right to me."
Nodding my head, I put the glass into the dishwasher and head for the stairs when I feel her small hand on mine.
"Can I come with you, only if you want me to of course?"
I lift her up, trying to keep my balance with her legs wrapped around my waist. I wished I could take her against the stairs. Unlike her I like it when we have sex after fighting. There's something about it that is incredibly arousing.
In the bathroom our clothes end next to the laundry basket in the corner. The water of the shower is warm and I start to feel even warmer when Alice starts pressing her wet body against mine. I just hold her close to me, enjoying the way her heart beats against my skin.
"Don't leave me again." I whisper softly, rubbing some body wash down her back. "Promise me not to leave me again. It broke my heart."