Go, Wang Fire! Use Sucker Punch!
His friends… idiotically… thought he was an idiot.
Sokka scratched his nose, leaving a dark trail of machine grease on his previously unmarked face.
It was unfortunate… for them, that was.
Well, it was bizarre, really. They thought he was some sort of super scary genius at the most inappropriate of times. But when it really counted? When they had their guard down? When they should have been paying attention to the goof making a fool of himself?
Truly amazing how much he managed to put past them. Honestly.
"Hey... Toph. I wanted to tell you something back in Yu Dao, but I had to wait until Sokka left."
"... Um. Okay? Why?"
Dimly, the Avatar felt that there was something off about that response. The earthbender should have had an idea of what he was talking about.
He continued frankly, "So you wouldn't kill him."
Toph stopped picking at her toes. She didn't look up, but that was how she rolled; Aang could feel her attention more intensely than any stare a set of two eyeballs could give.
"... What."
"I just wanted to tell you… that Sokka lost his bet."
"Uh… congratulations?"
The previous deep-gut feeling emerged as an internal klaxon wail of alarm.
The words came slowly over the cresting wave of confusion, "... So, Katara and I aren't together anymore."
"So? What's that got to do with the price of tea in Ba Sing Se?"
At that reply, he stared, struck mute for a full three seconds.
And then two formerly distant neurons in Aang's brain connected to each other with an almost audible zap:
"Sokka."
Toph tilted her head, one eyebrow rising. "What in the hells did that unhinged loon do to make you talk crazy?"
"That… that…" he struggled to not curse.
And she came to a realization, her unseeing eyes involuntarily widening, "He got ya good, didn't he?"
He failed. "That bastard."
Hundreds of miles away:
"AAAAA-CHOOO!"
The Mechanist jumped, "Oh, my goodness, boy! I'm working with fire, here, you can't frighten me like that!"
"Sorry."
"No. Nuh-uh. Nope. No. There's just… There's no way-"
"Yep."
"RAH!"
The Avatar stomped the ground impotently and threw down his arms, actually literally spitting fire.
"Wow," the master earthbender commented, impressed with the display, "He really got ya, didn't he?"
"Only him. Only. Him," he raged. But his picture righteous fury was somewhat ruined by the corner of his mouth treacherously turning upwards.
When he took in a fresh breath of air to rant some more, instead what came out was, "AHAH!"
And then he laughed.
And laughed. And laughed. And laughed.
It was all okay, though.
It was just part of their image of him.
Sort of like how everyone thought Aang was a total saint (he wasn't; his soul, once pristine, was now stained with sin). Or that Toph was made of rock, all the way through (she wasn't unflappable; she was exactly as sick and tired of the never-ending puppet show as the rest of them). Or that Katara was an eternal font of hope and optimism (she did not die of old age, ever). Or that Zuko was a zen philosopher who never got angry anymore (that temper, which once exploded with the force of a cute firecracker, was infinitely more dangerous nowadays).
Like the rest, he kept up a certain pretense. It was critical, in their society of five. They had to cling to their humanity, or be swept away.
So Sokka took it upon himself, gave himself the all-important job, to surprise… really surprise… his friends.
Make them laugh. And laugh. And laugh.
Every once in a while.
In the northernmost tower of the Northern Air Temple, Sokka twisted the wrench on the last bolt in his prototype adding-machine, smiling a small, mysterious smile.
Once Upon a Lifetime in Ba Sing Se
The sun broke through the light cloud cover as the train was pushed through the Agrarian Zone, illuminating some of the wildlife as it grazed in the great green between the Outer and Inner Wall. As shadows moved across the ground, various herds alternated between being visible and invisible. In the distance it was raining, with towering, dark thunderheads menacing the fields to the west, visible from the train seats; lightning could be seen occasionally flashing.
The light from the sun shone through the east side of the car, falling on a smattering of seated refugees, half of which were asleep from the exhaustion of fleeing the Fire Nation.
Aang and Toph sat opposite them. The earthbender gazed at her navel, an activity she rarely engaged in, and the Avatar was keen on allowing it to continue. He was concentrating; one hand stuck outside the window, his brows furrowed, slowly bending a mountain of air and water to his will.
"It's been a while," Toph spoke quietly, feeling the familiar stone of the tram beneath her feet, "I don't think I've actually set foot in this old city for… since your turn, I think?"
There went that concentration. The airbender sighed softly, letting go of the atmosphere and turning to his companion.
She was being interesting, anyway. More interesting, certainly, than a blob of air.
"Really?" Aang asked softly.
She nodded. Then she moved to get more comfortable, and a quizzical expression appeared on her face.
"I… I think I'm remembering something. Can you… tell me if you remember, too?"
Slightly intrigued by the question, he sat up from his leaning position, "Sure. I'll do my best."
Not saying anything right away, she waited, as if collecting the memory, then spoke, "They'll tell you it's a utopia; paradise."
He could barely believe his ears, and looked around in the train car that they were in. It was early; there weren't that many people. Only six others. And none of them were 'in the know' as far as the Dai Li were concerned.
Closing his eyes, he answered, "The one civilization that's safe from the blaze."
He heard a shift, presumably in surprise, and then a continuation, "And yet that security has a heavy price."
"It's a place where you walk under a heavy gaze."
"Where's that from?"
Aang smiled, eyes still closed, "Keep going. Do you know the next line?"
Quiet. Then, "That's all I remember, blockhead. Now out with it!"
Grey eyes opened stared off to look past the girl sitting across from, a thousand yards into the past.
"That was only the first part of it. I'll tell you the whole thing."
They'll tell you it's a utopia; paradise.
The one civilization that's safe from the blaze.
And yet that security has a heavy price.
It's a place where you walk under a heavy gaze.
Freedom's soul, traded, for any ghost of safety.
Shaded eyes halting any act of charity.
The people's minds turned away from honesty.
No true peace, only pretense of tranquility.
Where if there's something to say, there's a toll to pay.
Where knowledge is power, and power is the prize.
Where 'round any corner awaits a glove of clay.
Where if you ask no questions, then you're told no lies.
Here, in Ba Sing Se.
Neither said anything for a minute, only listening to the steady rumble of the train pushing past smooth rock.
"It's accurate," Toph offered frankly.
The air nomad snorted, his long gaze into the distance broken, "Yeah, no kidding. We are here to fix that."
"Duh."
"Of course."
"Now tell me where that pretty piece of prose came from or you're getting a box on the ear."
The boy laughed, smiling gently.
"It's a poem," Aang explained, "I don't remember when it was written. Or where. Or what we were doing. All I know… is that I wrote it," he trailed off.
Left unsaid was the thought that someday, he might even forget that.
He shook his head, "Anyway… For some reason, I couldn't forget those lines. I don't know how I've managed to remember this poem for so long, or why it was so stuck in my head at first… But at some point, I don't know when, I decided that I wouldn't forget; you've probably heard me say it before. And I've probably explained this before, too. It's just a little thing, but… I decided… that this would be one more thing. Just… one. One thing that I would shelter within my mind," and he felt it as something went cold in him, even as he rested his hands in his lap, "One memory that this old singing groundhog would keep safe."
He didn't have to explain any further than that. Not to her.
Of course, Toph could only say one thing after that monologue.
"Our lives suck."
Aang concurred, feeling glum, "Tell me about it."
But then a thought occurred to him, and he turned once again to look out the window.
It would be at least another fifteen minutes before they crossed into the city proper.
He still had time.
Reaching out, the Avatar earnestly nudged at the clouds.
Toph quirked an eyebrow, "What are you doing, Twinkles?"
"You interrupted me, before," he answered quietly, "But…"
And there it was.
The angle was much better at this point on the train ride. Less work to do.
Red, orange, gold, green, blue, violet...
"I was making a rainbow," Aang finished.
The earthbender stilled, and her slight frown of confusion melted into a fond smile of remembrance.
"Aw, I remember seeing one of those for the first time. Damn but I wish I could see one now."
They both sat, the seconds ticking by like sand in a bottomless hourglass.
"Maybe our lives don't suck that bad."
"Mmhm."
BONK!
King Kuei's Bear's birthday party was exactly as posh and ridiculous as Aang remembered.
He yawned, blinking. He wore an outfit that almost matched the busboys scurrying around to serve the nobility, except that his had a patch in the pattern of a flying boar and he wore a headband around his forehead which also bore that insignia.
Toph, in full regalia, stood in front and to his left - really, he stood behind and to her right. At least, that was how it was meant to appear to everyone else.
We have gotten way too good at pulling the wool over people's eyes, Aang noted wryly.
There was nowhere to sit except for at the dining table
The King hadn't arrived yet.
And Toph wasn't done chatting up the whole of the upper ring.
Standing it is.
Socializing with all of these shallow, oblivious pseudo-politicians was exhaustingly dull, but it had to be done for the sake of Toph's future legitimacy. It took a lot of work to be able to show up at the party as actual guests. Basically, it amounted to making themselves so visible in the social circles of the nobility that it would be conspicuous for them to not be invited.
Well… not really them. It was all Toph.
Aang was still disguised. This time, not as the younger waterbending tribes-kid Adlartok getting tutored by the Amazing Waterbending Prodigy Katara. No, now he was Kong, Lady Toph Bei Fong's chosen student of her spectacular style of earthbending and her protégé.
It was part of the narrative Toph wanted to build for the rest of them, and him in particular. They could have simply busted down the front gates of the Fire Palace on day two of the loop, but that was so easy and boring and scripted that they all discarded it out of hand. Yeah, people died while they took their time, but Aang consoled himself with the fact that he wasn't an agent in their deaths (this conclusion took one long, looooong lifetime of meditation to arrive at).
"... look, can you believe it? It's the Blind Bandit."
"What? No, surely not. Her? She's a child! She's a girl! She's a lady!"
"I saw her practicing in the yard of her house; she's amazing."
Aang smiled benignly as he listened to the whispers that he bent to his ears.
The legend of the Blind Bandit, larger than life.
Long Feng could keep people from talking about the war… but her? Impossible. The tales of her exploits were mythical; in response to the mandate of silence on the subject of the war, people simply replaced the Fire Nation in their stories with whichever generic villain suited the story. Long Feng's mistake. Though, the Avatar had to give him a break. How was the poor man supposed to know that the Blind Bandit was coming for the throne?
Part of the plan, all part of the plan.
The plan was basic: Toph took over the Earth Kingdom. Zuko did what came naturally and ascended the throne of the Fire Nation. Katara would rule the Southern Water Tribe by uniting the disparate tribes under her spiritual guidance, and Sokka would take the Northern Water Tribe by marrying Yue (bonus points since it was also close to the Mechanist's workshops at the Northern Air Temple). And when the Republic came into existence, Aang would be the first president… for life (he never was comfortable with this, but Toph insisted, and it was her turn).
… And… Ah.
A conical hat flitted out of the corner of his eye.
Those guys.
It seems Long Feng doesn't care that we're on the guest list.
It made sense. In the last month that they'd been in the city, they both probably came across as superspies to his unsuspecting black-ops organization.
We must have really freaked them out.
Shadows flitted at the edges of the room. Watching. Waiting until no one was looking.
In another life, that might've been concerning.
Right now, though, Aang only found it funny.
Those poor guys.
Then he tapped his foot underneath his robes in question, sending a message through the earth.
How're we doing this?
No explanation required.
Immediately, Toph coughed, interrupting her much older conversation partner's monologue on marriage arrangements (the noble was being pathetic; it was obvious that he wanted her to marry his twenty-five-year-old son. Ugh. Nobles were gross). Then she raised her hands and vibrated the earth in time with her voice so that it would suffuse the room.
"May I have everyone's attention, please?"
The extraordinary effect of hearing the girl's voice come from every direction in the earthen room silenced all the guests immediately.
He received the echoes of her responding foot-taps with a wide smile.
The fun way.
"Ladies and Gentlemen of the Court of the Divine Element of Earth. I have committed a gross gaffe. You all have brought gifts for the guest of honor," she waved in the direction of Bosco, who tilted his head in animal befuddlement, "and I understand that the Earth King has some traditional performance dances prepared for the entertainment of his Bear… But I… have neglected to bring anything to present."
Most of the nobles breathed in shortly in surprise. It was a horrid mistake to make.
"So…" Toph continued, over the sounds of the murmurs of disapproval. When everyone quieted down again, she continued, "I have decided to rectify this most grotesque oversight. As everyone here knows, I and my assistant are master earthbenders. We will perform a dancing kata for your entertainment tonight."
Then, in one smooth movement, the earthbender stomped her foot down and leapt out of her formal dress, already wearing her Blind Bandit outfit. In synchrony, Aang stomped with her, jumping after her to land on the main dining table.
Gasps followed in their wake at the sudden, explosive movement.
Shadows stiffened. They couldn't act. They couldn't act. Everyone had their attention on their targets, they couldn't do anything-
Aang and Toph bowed to each other.
"You got the one with the scar on his eyelid?" he whispered, smirking lightly.
"Pffft. You do him. That kid pees his pants at the slightest provocation. Handle with care."
"Right."
Misty green and storm grey eyes briefly met as they reversed their flexion so that they stood upright. Then they moved.
Stepping past each other, they moved their arms just so...
Snap.
Silent to anyone who wasn't listening for it, a darkly clad form behind one of the pillars in the room kneeled in agony as the stones arranged on his hands suddenly contracted, breaking bone.
Four steps, turn, punch together...
Crack.
Not a single dish or cup was disturbed. But a shadow at the entrance to the banquet hall, behind everyone else and out of sight to anyone not standing on the table, crumpled.
One, Two, Three...
Pop.
A single pebble launched from one of the downed Dai Li's gloves, flying directly into the busboys' service hallway and smacking into the scarred guy's temple and knocking him out.
"Nice shot," Toph muttered, lifting up her right leg.
"Thanks. It was nothing," the airbender demurred, also lifting up his own right leg.
They were facing away from each other.
Then they stepped.
"... he-HACK… "
Three pillars of earth spiked out of the floor and walls to strike the sternums of three separate agents, before retracting back as if they never were.
The guests were all gazing at the spectacle before them, unhearing. Two children dancing around each other in a slow rotation, leaving everyone's food and drink utterly untouched.
It was probably going to start a new trend in performance dances.
"We're leaving conehead-in-chief for last."
"Yes, ma'am. Uh, look out- nevermind."
Toph reversed the pre-emptive assassination attempt, turning the razor-sharp stones so that they pinned the robes of the Dai Li officer hanging from the ceiling in the corner.
"I have a question, Twinkletoes."
"Mhmm?"
The remaining Dai Li agents were frantic. They pulled the double-shift of attempting to terminate the just-designated Public Enemies No 1 and 2 and clearing the room of casualties before they could be detected by any of the unaware guests.
Another fought to keep his shout of pain silent as he felt his wrists bend in a direction they were most definitely not meant to.
"... AUGH…"
"Were you serious when you said that you and Katara ain't an item anymore?"
"... Mmmyeah. For now. We need to give each other some time and space."
Translation: We're gonna mostly live apart from each other for the next life or three.
"... That bad, huh?"
"Eh… We'll still see each other, but... yeah, it kinda did get that bad."
Smack.
Crunch
"... my spleen!..."
"Well, then," Toph's lip curled as she chambered her leg for a kick, "I have a proposition for you."
"Hmm? What's that?"
They kicked out, both their bodies facing each other, each kicking in opposing directions, their legs parallel to the ground.
"... my eyes! MY EYES!... "
"Marry me."
It took a herculean effort not to react to that.
Sweat trailed down his forehead and Aang's eyes twitched at the physical and emotional taxation.
She waited, listened, and picked the perfect opportunity for maximum bitch.
All the same, as he slowly brought his leg down, he considered.
It's not like I haven't before.
He gave an infinitesimal shrug, "Okay."
Long Feng glared daggers at the dancers from his position amongst the rest of the guests.
He had decided that Toph Bei Fong was too politically dangerous when his officers reported the content of her conversations with the nobles of the upper ring throughout the last month. This party was selected as a time for her to suffer a conspicuous accident, taking care of the primary problem and also reminding the sheep of the wolves in the dark.
Things weren't going according to plan.
From out of nowhere, his paramilitary forces were getting their collective behinds handed to them by a couple of children.
One of the replacements signalled Long Feng, hands moving in signs:
Orders?
Somehow, they were all completely exposed to these two freaks of nature. Nothing they did was hidden from them. Always, they acted just as an agent would move, and completely destroy their attempt to subdue them.
Retreat, Long Feng begrudgingly signed. Immediately, betraying their terror at the unnatural skill of the children, the entire group of agents fled into their cubby-holes.
As if waiting for that cue, the dance came to a smooth end, and the entire hall erupted into applause.
It's good that I delayed the entrance of the King.
Long Feng made to move forward to confront his new number one problem, and fell forward.
His feet hadn't moved.
His feet hadn't moved because they were encased in earth.
As he fell forward, the ground opened up and silently swallowed him whole, before smoothing back out in less than a second. One guest had seen what happened, and was suddenly frantically apologizing to his companion because uh, I have an appointment that I just remembered… yes I know I was invited months in advance… I know, but, this back-hair removal really can't wait... LET ME GO IN PEACE, WOMAN ohspiritsohspiritsohspirits…
Then, for Long Feng, who was violently attempting to earthbend an escape, there was a rushing sound and everything became nothing.
The tell-tale green glow which filled the air of ancient Ba Sing Se greeted him as he awoke, unrestrained, laying on the ground face-down.
"So… about that whole 'Ba Sing Se is my perfect, little utopia' thing…"
Slowly, Long Feng raised his head.
A devil's grin on a little girl's face.
"I'll be taking that off your hands, now."