A/N: Hey guys! I'm sorry this took so long, but I just returned from my skiing trip in Quebec and it was fabulous! I have a large chapter for you (a whopping 3,167 words) and I am proud to say it is the longest chapter I have ever written. Enjoy! (And I've already started the next chapter, so don't be too worried if I leave you with a cliffie ;))
Chapter 12 - Living Nightmare
The mindless chatter of other students buzzed dimly in my ears as I groggily stared into space, eyes drooping and jaw slightly slack.
How is it possible to lay in your bed all night and not receive one wink of sleep, and then spend the rest of the day wanting only to curl under some blankets and pass out for a couple hours? I don't know, but that scenario describes my morning perfectly.
Sleep hadn't come to me at all last night. I couldn't help but feel closed up and terrified that something would happen to me if I closed my eyes. It sounded pathetic and deplorable, but I couldn't help it. How could I have allowed myself to become so scared of a single individual?
"Late night patrols getting to you?" Georgiana asked simply from her usual seat, sipping her tea comfortably.
I pursed my lips. "Sure."
"Better get some caffeine into your system," she told me. "Mid-terms are right around the bend."
"Believe me; no one knows that better than myself," I snipped, examining my breakfast distastefully.
"You're so touchy in the mornings," she said decidedly.
Growling, I muttered, "You're so annoying in the mornings. And every other time of day."
She sneered at my weak retort before turning away. I slouched into the table, wanting nothing more then to keel over and sleep. The only thing that kept me awake was Matthias, sitting six seats away, his eyes meeting me every other minute.
"What's wrong with you?" Blake inquired from my left side.
"Tired," I grumbled.
He took a bite of his toast before responding. "Why? You look as if you're going to pass out."
I snorted. "Feel's like it." I ran a hand over my face. "Didn't sleep last night."
Blake didn't push any further. We sat in silence for a while until I almost dozed off and he pushed my forearm a little. I sat up, fixing my robes and taking a big gulp of coffee in hopes of waking myself up.
"Who are you taking to Slughorn's party?" I asked, eyes wider as I attempted to remain alert.
He paused, before saying, "I don't know." His eyes cautiously glanced to Georgiana, and he cringed when she batted her eyelashes at him. "Perhaps I won't even go at all."
"Well then. We can be loners together." I took another sip from my mug, not nearly as greedily as before.
His eyes watched mine, like they were staring straight into my soul. It was chilling. "You're not planning on going?" For some reason, his voice got lower and his features became more guarded. Instead of taking this pretense seriously, though, I pretended that I didn't notice. I was far too exhausted to even think straight.
Shaking my head, I picked up my fork and started stabbing my eggs. They jiggled. My nose wrinkled. "No. No one's asked me; I'm assuming impressive yet intimidating image has scared all of the guys away. Or maybe I just smell." I sniffed my arm in a humorous manner, trying to change the sudden, serious air that had engulfed us. I didn't want to hear what he was about to say, even though I had a clue as to what the news would be.
His expression didn't change. "Rosalie, Matthias has told everyone that he's taking you."
I dropped my fork and threw up my hands in defeat, a sinking feeling abrupting in my stomach. "That's just wonderful. That's completely fucking wonderful."
"How does this one look?"
Georgiana modeled a black satin dress for Veronique and me, but I was starting to loose interest. It was probably the eleventh dress she had tried on, and I usually didn't have enough patience to reach the fifth. But with everything weighing down on me, I didn't have time to argue with Georgiana about something as silly as dresses. My thoughts kept swirling around Matthias; I was literally terrified that he was just going to show up everywhere I went, so I continued to keep a close eye on our surroundings, also.
We were in a small, warm dress shop in the middle of Hogsmeade, sitting in some tacky chairs and crowded by tons of girls searching for dresses, too. It wasn't my idea to spend my Saturday here. I had actually planned on studying for our mid-terms, but Veronique and Georgiana had literally coerced me to come.
"Stunning," Veronique commented. "I think this in the one, don't you agree Rosalie?"
Snapping out of my reverie, I muttered, "Yeah. Wonderful."
Georgiana clapped her hands. "I thought so too! I love this dress! I'm going to get it."
"Are you sure you don't want to look for a dress?" Veronique asked me. "Isn't there just a small chance that you'll decide to go to the party? It's already late, and you don't want to miss your chance."
"No," I answered briskly. "I'm not going to Slughorn's silly little party. And even if I did change my mind at the last minute, I already have a dress in my closet."
Her attention was caught. "Really? What brand?"
"I think it's a Mariona," I replied, checking my nails nonchalantly.
"How come I've never seen it before?" she demanded, eyes wide, almost outraged. "Marionas are the most expensive gowns money can buy! And you just have one casually hanging up in your side of the closet?"
"Of course, I've hidden it and protected it with some enchantments," I snapped, slightly frustrated that she'd take me for a fool. "I've had it since the dinner party I went to in Spain with Father and Marcus. Remember? I asked you and Georgiana if you two wanted to go dress shopping with me, but you guys had "plans"."
Her lips formed an 'O' shape. "What's it like?"
"It's red and strapless wth a ruffled skirt and jeweled design on the front," I said, thinking about the dress. It truly was a beautiful gown, and I was sad I had only worn it once.
After Georgiana bought her dress, she and Veronique decided to go back to Hogwarts and put together their outfits for the party tomorrow. I hung around the center of Hogsmeade for a bit, then opted for a walk to the Shrieking Shack.
I stepped on the crisp, sticky snow, enjoying the soft crunching underneath my shoes. The path was cold and desolate, forgotten by most of the students at Hogwarts. I could find solitude when I walked there; I was always allowed silence and a moment to clear my head. The trees were naked without their leaves and the wind howled like an old dog. My black hair whipped around my face as I trudged down the beaten path, nose chilled and eyes watering. I pulled my winter coat closer to my body as I watched my breath fog up the air in front of me. My lips were chapped, but I didn't mind.
After ten minutes of walking, I found the Shrieking Shack with little effort. I brushed off a familiar boulder, removing all of the wet snow and planting myself on top of the cold stone. The hard, icy texture of the rock leaked through my jeans, but it didn't bother me too much. I placed my elbows on top of my knees and my chin into my palms, a thoughtful position, as if I were preparing myself for thinking.
I was good at thinking. I loved to think. Except for today.
Literally, I could feel everything fall down; all of my walls and defenses. My face fell into a deep expression.
I felt like a huge bundle of messy, uncontrolled emotions. It was like my mind couldn't be contained; I couldn't stop myself from going too far with everything. Last year, I didn't have to second guess everything, but now I feelt insecure and unsafe and very, very vulnerable. Did I deserve to feel like that? I mean, I knew I wasn't the nicest person- screw it. I'm a bitch to everybody. I was nasty about what my family believed in and wouldn't let anyone try to tell me anything else otherwise. But I'm still human, right? I have the right to feel unprotected and uncertain and the ability to change my mind.
Right?
Was everything I believed in worth fighting for? Did I even truly believe in it? Or have I just been following my parents like a blind and deaf human being? Were they feeding me lies? Did they even believe in it themselves? What about Marcus and Mariette? What did they put their hopes in?
So many questions swirled around in my head. I felt nauseous.
Was I cursed to an entire life in this living, endless hell? Was I going to end up like Mother? Miserable with no love or hope?
I bit my lip as I wondered if I was going to end up chained to Matthias. I certainly didn't want anything to do with him; I didn't want to date him, I didn't want to marry him, and I didn't want to bear his name or children.
But it was very likely. Extremely likely, almost set in stone. Mother and Father liked him and he was a pureblood. In their eyes, they probably couldn't imagine what was holding me back from jumping on the band wagon.
I hated him. I hated everything about him and his slimy guts. Why couldn't he have picked Georgiana or Veronique? Why did he have to choose me?
I was pulled out of my torturous thoughts by a very abrupt bang. I nearly fell into the bank of snow next to my boulder from the shock. My hand instantly flew to my wand and I whipped it out, wielding it aggressively. Soon enough, I realized that the noise hadn't come from anywhere near me, but from the run down shack that was supposedly haunted. Voices filled the normally silent air, laughter exploding and chatter mindlessly ensuing.
Arms stiffening, I vaguely wondered whether or not the rumors were true. There was only one way to the Shrieking Shack and that including walking by me. And, of course, nobody had walked past me. I grew cautious and, on a whim, stood and walked over to the fence seperating me from the shed.
More sounds drifted from the snow-covered hill. The voices were familiar but very muffled, so I couldn't be sure of anything. Weighing my options, I decided to climb to fence and let my curiousity get the best of me. I trudged through the untouched snow, feeling the ice seep through my clothes, eyes watching the Shrieking Shack tentatively. I fell ungracefully, once, getting some cold wetness into my hair. Angry, I shoved my way through the thigh-high snow.
When I reached the door, I noticed a big lock on the door. I quickly muttered, "Alohomora," and removed it from the chipped door. I pulled it open carefully, pering into the inside of the shack.
It was dusty, dirty, and just how the inside of a deserted shack should look like. Obviously, though, someone had or was in here, as the dust was disruppted and floating all over the place.
"Did you hear that?" a voice muttered.
"Yeah," breathed the other. "Someone else is here."
"Do you think they followed us?"
"Of course not! We had the cloak, remember?"
The voices were becoming less vague by the second. I began to realize who the two were, and furious that they had interrupted my quiet time, my hands flew to my hips.
"Did they use the trap door or the front door?"
"No one's used the front door for years," the voice reasoned.
"Oi, you two!" I shouted. "I'm not deaf, you gits!"
A head popped out from the loft above and a smirk appeared on his face. "Hey Rosie! How'd you find us?"
I pointed my wand at him threatingly, ignoring his question. "Call me Rosie one more time and I'll hex you."
James Potter turned to his companion Weasel, still wearing a grin. "It's just Flint."
"Just Flint?" Fred hissed. "What are you two now, best mates?"
"I want to know what's going on here, you toerags," I yelled up at them. "How the hell did you get in here without me noticing?"
"Our amazing ninja skills?" Potter offered. "Or maybe you are deaf after all."
I rolled my eyes. "Haha, aren't you just the funniest? I'm being serious."
"My middle name is Sirius," he said, laughing. Even Fred lightened up at his corny pun.
"How the hell did you get in here?" I shouted, frustrated with his lack of cooperation. I searched around the small shack for a while, until my eyes reached a trap door, covered by shadows. I shuffled over to it, reaching down and pulling the rope attached to it with all of my strength. Much to my content, it revealed a case of stairs that led to a very dark and damp tunnel.
"Aren't you two cheeky?" I asked, looking back up at them. Both of their eyes watched me carefully, waiting for my reaction. "How'd you find this secret tunnel?"
"Like we'd tell you," Fred snorted, dark curls jolting as he moved himself into a more comfortable position. I lost sight of his face again.
"Sorry, darling. Marauders only," Potter answered.
It took a moment for me to decide whether I was going to yell at him for calling me darling, or continue with my investigation and ask about the term he'd just thrown at me. I opted for the latter.
"Marauder? What's that?" I inquired, stepping closer to the ladder which would lead me to the loft.
"It's us," he told me coolly.
"So let me get this straight: you're in a two-man club and you've decided to name it? Losers," I retorted.
"Takes one to know one," Potter replied lamely.
"What cloak were you two talking about?" I asked, drilling my next question.
"Think about it. You'll get in eventually; you're smart enough. Now go back to where ever you came from, Flint. You've interrupted our club meeting for long enough."
I honestly didn't want to leave until all of my questions were answered. But, then again, I didn't really want to spend the rest of that day trapped inside of a tiny shack with Potter and Weasel.
"Tossers," I grumbled.
"Nosey parker," he said from the loft, now also out of sight.
"Pillock."
"Idiot."
"Can I use this passage to get back to Hogwarts?"
"No," Potter answered immediately.
"I will anyway," I responded briskly, walking towards the open trap door. "I don't really fancy trudging through the snow all over again."
"You're going to get lost, and then I'll have to come and save your arse. Or, I might just keep you in there, save the world some grief," Potter told me.
"Oh, put a cork in it. "I'll get it eventually. I'm smart enough,"" I muttered, quoting him from just moments ago. I put my first foot in and felt the cold draft waver over me.
His head popped out again. "I'm really serious, Rosalie. We can only find our way with the map; imagine how lost you'll be without it."
"What map?" I said, pausing.
"It doesn't matter!" he yelled, getting frustrated. "Really, just go back the way you came."
I considered his warnings for a minute. It wasn't like Potter to tell me the truth about anything, so I guessed he was right about the tunnel. But I still felt an urge to go against what he said. I was so tempted to continue down the steps, but finally I sighed, turned, and looked up at Dumb and Dumber. "This isn't over. I'm on to you two."
Staring into the mirror tiredly, I vigorously brushed my teeth. I spit the foaming tooth paste into the sink, a miffed expression on my face.
An invisibility cloak.
That git had an invisibility cloak!
I couldn't believe it, although it fit together perfectly. That night I had run into him in the kitchens, a couple of months ago... he had been wearing it and I had totally forgotten about it.
Stupid me.
My thoughts began racing with millions of things that could be accomplished with an item like that. Invisibility? Yes please. Gods, what I would do to get my hands on something like that.
I wiped remaining toothpaste from my lips and placed my toothbrush next to the sink gently. After running a brush through my ebony hair several times, I returned to my dormitory and sat down on the edge of my perfectly-made bed.
Georgiana and Veronique were giggling about something in one of their trashy magazines. I rolled my eyes and glared down at my feet, my head pounding with the most aggravating migraine.
Minutes later, I decided to take a journey to the Hospital Wing and retrieve a headache potion from Poppy Pomfrey. She was determined to taking my temperature before I left, but I refused, telling her it was only a common headache and that it wouldn't be necessary.
Downing the potion in one sip, I threw the disposable vial away and shuffled down the empty corridors. Most students were getting ready for Slughorn's party or just hanging out in their common rooms.
Roaming the deserted halls without any destination, I decidedly began to stumble towards the library. Unfortunately, I didn't make it there.
Fingers wrapped around my shoulders as I froze, stiff as a tree trunk, eyes widening and head pounding harder than before.
"Get out your dress, darling," Matthias whispered. "We're going dancing."