Cupid's Arrow of Doom, Chapter 6

A Danny Phantom fanfiction by Dustin M. Dixon

As the bell rang, thereby marking the end of second period, Sam walked to her locker, letting out a startled cry as Danny came tumbling out, once again in his human form.

"O...kay...hey, I'm cool with you getting some much-needed alone time in my locker - but...you haven't been getting any much-needed 'alone time' in my locker, have you?"

"What? Sam, no - wait...y'know what, nevermind. Anyway, I've been trying to get away from Paulina and -"

"Wait, what did you say?"

"I SAID, I've been trying to get away from Paulina -"

"Say that again?"

"...okay, no. Look, the short version is, my teenage guy's dream of having every girl in school completely drooling over me failed miserably. What's worse, Vlad is in on it and worse than that, he's got the 'God of Love' in a...poofy little diaper wrapped around his rich guy finger!"

"Okay, you're definitely going to need to say that again, because seriously what the heck...?"

"Um, okay, uhh...short version: Vlad's behind this and he has a minion. A very...fairy minion. Who's only in it for the money! ...which he...has a lot of."

"O-kay, got it. Soo...what do you want me to do about it?"

"HELP me!"

"Okay, okay, hang on...lemme see if I've got anything in my collection about reversing fairy magic..."

"Sam, c'mon, I -...oh, wait, you're serious."

"Duh. They write books on everything, nowadays. Besides, you think I wasn't?"

"I thought you were mocking me out...which...I...rightly deserved. Again. For like the hundreth time."

"Hey, cool it...how're you going to learn your lesson if you don't get it hammered all the way in that thick skull your dad gave you?"

"Nice, Sam, nice..."

"Thanks."

"But *sigh* you're right."

"Thanks! Now, c'mon, the library closes at five!" Danny grabbed Sam by the hand and transformed once more, flying the two of them through the roof.

"That brainiac's been acting weird ever since she got back from the bathroom." Brad's friend pointed out, as they glanced ever at the now-lovestruck Jazz, who was busy doodling a cartoony heart in her notebook with the words "TF & JF" inside of the heart.

"We have the same last initial…" she sighed, smiling wavily. She was too distracted to hear Lancer's lecture on Shakespeare, though to be fair, it had been a lecture she had heard MANY times prior. She was snapped out of her reverie, however, as Lancer raised his voice.

"Miss Fenton!" he snapped. "Usually you're front and center when I ask these questions."

"Er… what questions?" Jazz was genuinely confused.

"The question was… what was Romeo's family name?" Jazz sat there for second, as if legitimately processing the question, but the only thing that occupied her mind right now was…

"Foley!" she blurted out, causing laughter from her classmates as she buried her head behind her notebook, blushing considerably.

"No, Miss Fenton. Foley doesn't even remotely SOUND like Montague." Lancer sighed, thinking 'What's with you today? Usually you make the rest of these degenerate slackers seem like, well… just that!"

"Erm…" she mumbled something incoherent in response.

"Hey, we are NOT degenerate slackers!" Brad protested. Jazz glanced over at him with a blink. He folded his arms. "We're very generous with our slacker...ing...thank you very much!" Lancer blinked, sighing and shaking his head. Jazz normally would have, but was still too busy daydreaming about her techno geek Romeo. Their teacher raised his book again "Very well then, onto Act Two..."

As Danny and Sam entered the fiction section of the library, the latter quickly took to browsing the aisles.

"Man…" Danny moaned. "Valerie FINALLY said yes, and I can't even enjoy it because she's being controlled by Vlad!"

"Really? Cause I thought that Cupid's love arrows had some small part in that." Sam replied sarcastically.

"Vlad, Cupid… semantics." Danny shook his head angrily. Ignoring him briefly, Sam plucked a book from the aisles, reading it aloud.

"Idiot's Guide to Fairies by Denzel Crocker… you think this one might help?" Sam suggested.

"Couldn't hurt…" Danny sighed.

"Look, you know Valerie's too wrapped up in ghost hunting to have anything to do with you romantically. You're just hurting yourself by thinking anything else can come out of that."

Danny let out a monosyllabic chuckle in response.

"Who needs a Valentine anyway?" Sam scoffed. "Just sell the Dumpty Humpty tickets to the A-list. Heck, you could even take m—" she cut herself off, realizing what she had started to say. "…Moving on! Yeah, how 'bout them fairies?" she opened the book, hiding her face from Danny as she glanced through the pages, eventually landing on Cupid. "Ah! Here we go! Height, weight… man, this guy has WAY too much time on his hands…" Her eyes darted back and forth between every line on the page, until she finally saw what she was looking for. "Aha! If you're hit by a special arrow that makes every girl within a mile radius fall madly in love with you… oddly specific, but never look a gift horse in the mouth I guess… oh CRAP!" she shut the book, wide-eyed.

"What's it say?" Danny asked.

"Cupid himself has to break the spell!" Sam shook her head, watching as Danny walked up to the nearest wall and banged his head against it several times. "Whoa!" she called out, walking over to him and putting her hand on his shoulder. "Giving yourself brain damage won't make things any better! We're just going to have to find Cupid and get him to break the spell!"

"How?!" Danny nearly shouted. "He's a million dollars richer thanks to my arch-enemy! If he didn't take my five bucks before, he's certainly not going to take them now!"

"Then we'll find another way…" Sam reassured him. "I'm not going to let my best friend be completely miserable for the rest of his days in Casper High!"

"…Thanks." Danny smiled, then spoke up again, eyebrows raised. "Wait… if that arrow affects everyone in a mile radius, how come it didn't affect you?" An awkward pause followed between the two teens, before Sam spoke up at light speed.

"OhlookatthetimewegottagofindCupid!" Danny took a second to process that as she ran off, leaving a dust cloud in her wake.

"Sam, wait up!" Danny shouted after her, hearing a loud "SHHH!" from several patrons of the library. As he caught up to her, he spoke up again. "I'm all for finding Cupid, but maybe we should bring Tucker along…" Another awkward pause prompted him to speak up once more. "What?"

"Oh right, you weren't there. It's the strangest thing…" Sam chuckled nervously. "He's kinda following Jazz like a lovesick puppy." Danny suddenly stopped in his track as they got outside the library, causing the heads of everyone nearby to turn in shock as he spoke up once more.

"HE'S WHAT?!"

Special thanks: Hitamukiissekiwa for co-authoring this chapter.