Cupid's Arrow of Doom, Chapter 7
A Danny Phantom fanfiction by Dustin M. Dixon
"Alright, take a deep breath, Danny." Sam paused for a few seconds, waiting for Danny to calm down. "…It's not THAT funny."
"AHAHAHAHAHA!" Danny continued to laugh uproariously. "TUCKER… AND MY SISTER?! IT TOTALLY IS THAT FUNNY! SHE'S GONNA DRIVE HIM NUTS!"
"So… you going to finish sometime today?" Sam frowned, eyelids drooping as she glared at Danny, who finally stopped laughing about five minutes later.
"There…" he let out a weak chuckle. "All done."
"Aren't you worried about Jazz? Or Tucker?"
"In which order?" Danny asked flatly. "I'd be worried if Jazz was dating someone like Dash. Tucker's harmless. She'll probably just grow bored with it and move on."
"Well then aren't you worried about Tucker? He's our friend!" Sam stressed the last word as she tried to drive the point home to Danny.
"C'mon, Tucker's a big kid. He can handle a little heartbreak." Danny shrugged it off with a big grin.
"Like you did with Valerie, right?" Sam asked, brows raised
"…Darn it…" Danny sighed. "We need to find Cupid and fast…"
"And then come up with a HECK of a good reason for skipping the rest of the day today?" Sam suggested.
"That too." Danny shrugged. "We'd better start with Vlad's. C'mon, let's go!"
"But how do you even know where he is? It's not like he owns a place in town… right?"
"He's a billionaire trying to get together with my mom. I'm sure he's got a mansion or two around here. Let's go check out Poulter Heights." And with that, he and Sam darted off to the ritziest part of town…
The bell rang for lunch later on in the day, and as Tucker entered the lunchroom, he spotted the object of his affections sitting at a table at the far end of the large cafeteria.
"Hey!" Tucker called out, dashing over and taking a seat next to Jazz as he turned to her. "Man, I haven't been able to get my mind off of you all day."
"Me neither." A pause. "I mean…" she trailed off, laughing awkwardly. "I can't get my mind off of you."
"R-really?" Tucker said, then thought angrily. 'Focus, TF! She already said she'd be your Valentine!' "I mean… cool!" Another awkward pause between the two lovestruck teens prompted Jazz to speak up.
"Well, we have all of lunch, what do you want to talk about?"
"Uh… um…" 'DARN IT!' Tucker berated himself for suddenly lacking the Tucker Foley charm he had bragged so much about previously to Danny and Sam. 'C'mon, you've known Jazz your whole life! Say something about her hair, her eyes… SAY SOMETHING!'
"Uh… Tucker?" Jazz looked concerned. "Is something wrong? You're sweating again."
"DARN YOU DEODORANT!" Tucker bellowed to the ceiling.
"Okay…" Another pause, as Jazz was inwardly berating herself. 'Say something about his cute beret, or his ultra-hot glasses, or… SAY SOMETHING, FENTON!' But all the 17 year old girl could find herself doing was leaning on the table, head in hands as she gazed toward Tucker. Suddenly, Tucker spoke up again.
"Hey! I know! Can I take a picture to prove to my online friends that I had a Valentine this year?" Jazz stared at him before wordlessly nodding with a smile. Seconds later, as she struck a pose for his "proof", Tucker snapped the photo with his PDA. "Awesome!"
"Want to go to the Nasty Burger after school?" Jazz suddenly asked. With an excited grin, Tucker nodded. Just then, he awkwardly leaned in, Jazz following suit, realizing suddenly that nothing else really NEEDED to be said as they joined lips for the second time that day…
"Oh man…" Danny sighed for what must have been the millionth time that day as he and Sam scoured the perimeter of ultra-posh Poulter Heights. "There's gotta be at least thirty mansions around here! Where does he freakin' live?!"
"Off-hand? How about the one that has the big statue of him on the front lawn?" Sam replied sarcastically. Danny glanced down incredulously at the statue before smacking himself hard in the forehead. "Danny, we talked about this… the brain damage?"
"Sorry…" Danny dropped down, phasing into the manor. No sooner had he, though, than he was blasted into the wall, going tangible again as Sam dropped with a loud thud and a cry of "OW!" Looking ahead, she saw Vlad standing there with a smirk.
"Ah, Daniel, Samantha! You're late." Vlad grinned coyly.
"Cut the small talk, Vlad!" Danny shouted. "Where's Cupid?"
"I'm just his employer, Daniel. I'm not his keeper! And even if I knew where he was, what makes you crazy enough to think I would tell YOU?"
"Because if you don't…" Danny growled, raising his fists as ectoplasmic energy began to surround them.
"Oh please, Danny! We both know that I'm way stronger than you! Do I really have to humiliate you in front of your former girlfriend?"
"She's not my girlfriend!" "I'm not his girlfriend!" Both teens shouted. A pause followed briefly, before Sam spoke up. "Vlad, we're reasonable adults here, right?"
"You're not an adult. Neither is Daniel." Vlad stated flatly.
"Well, ADOLESCENTS." Sam shook her head. A pause from Vlad made her continue with a grumble. "Look, we're reasonable, okay? Give me an angle here!"
"Fine fine, we're reasonable. What's your point?" Vlad snapped.
"My point is this. You've had your fun, Vlad. You've established your superiority once again or some such nonsense. Can you please get Cupid to drop the spell?" Sam gave her biggest puppy-dog eyes. "C'mon, I'm sure a gentleman like you can appreciate Danny's situation, right?" In the background, Danny suddenly grinned hopefully.
"Of course I can, young lady!" Vlad laughed, turning around before continuing. "But you forget something, Samantha… as far as Daniel and I are concerned…" he turned back throwing his arms up. "I! AM! NO! GENTLEMAN!" One last turn from Vlad prompted the older man to speak up once more. "And now I think you had better leave, for your own safety, among other things!"
As the door slammed shut behind Danny and Sam, the latter turned to her friend and quipped. "Gee, I wonder why your mom doesn't want anything to do with him?"
"Back to square one, then… where would a guy—"
"Fairy."
"Right, fairy. Where would a fairy like Cupid go? He seemed pretty well-kept… goofy diaper notwithstanding." Danny cupped his chin in his right hand as he thought for a minute. "Hey, isn't there a spa in the area?"
"Why a spa?" Sam's eyebrows arched.
"Well, they do all that exfoliating crap. It's Valentine's Day and he's, y'know, CUPID. I imagine he'd want to look his best on his special day." Danny shrugged.
"It's as good a place as any, I suppose…" Sam nodded slowly. "Let's go!" The two friends darted off, determined to find Cupid.