Cupid's Arrow of Doom, Chapter 8
A Danny Phantom fanfiction by Dustin M. Dixon
"Well crap, that wasn't the right place either…" Sam groaned as they exited the third spa they had checked over the past three hours. "You'd better be right about this, Danny! If I get another facial for no good reason, I'm gonna hurl!"
"Relax…" Danny grinned. "He'll be in the next one. I can feel it!"
"Just like you felt it the first time? The second? THIS ONE?!" Sam pointed angrily to the spa.
"We'll just go to this next one, and—" he was cut off by a loud shout from Dash, who was running angrily toward him.
"FENTON! I'M GONNA POUND YOU AND WASH THE BRUISES WITH WATER FROM THE TANK!"
"Oh crap!" Danny cringed as Dash approached angrily.
"Wait… why are you over here at the spa?" Sam asked as her eyebrows raised.
"Well, they do that exfoliating crap, and…" he trailed off as Sam began to smirk. "Look, I've got problems! Big problems that…" he trailed off once more, raising a fist and preparing to punch Danny. Sam shut her eyes and made the ultimate sacrifice…
"Dash, 2-for-1 exfoliating discount! I'll help you out with those 'problems'. I have a few blackheads that need clearing up myself." She lied, grabbing Dash by the arm, whispering "Run. Find Cupid." as she led Dash into the spa. Danny, not needing to be told twice, ran into the nearest alley and transformed, flying off toward the last spa in town…
*10 second intro*
Sam grinned and bore it as she entered the spa for a second time.
"Welcome, how… wait, weren't you just here?" the woman at the front desk asked.
"Yeah, but… I brought a friend for your discount!" Sam grinned widely.
"Very well, right this way!" the woman said cheerily.
*first the mind*
Sam sat down in the hydraulic styling chair across from Dash.
*then the soul*
She grimaced as one of the spa workers slid cucumber slices on her eyes.
*And when the heart is pumped up for the goal*
As if she could sense it, Sam backed away in terror from the powder puff heading toward her.
*There's no defeat*
The powder puff hit up hard against Sam's face.
*You'd sooner die!*
As it withdrew, Sam looked groggy, as if she had just taken a hard punch to the face.
*It's man to man as we stand eye to eye!*
Sam turned, recoiling in horror as her cucumbers dropped and she saw the nail polish remover being brought out. She screamed in agony as the worker applied it to her mega-onyx nail polish.
*Winner takes it all! Loser takes a fall!*
As the worker brought out the lipstick and proper makeup to make her look, as they put it the last time she had been in just moments ago, "Irresistible", Sam turned green in the face.
*Fight to the beginning of the end!*
Meanwhile, Danny flew over the skies of Amity Park, humming the song playing in the background.
"Yeah! Winner takes it all, until he breaks the fall! In time you'll make it over the top-!" Danny sang to himself as he reached the final spa…
As Tucker and Jazz entered the Nasty Burger, the latter was surprised to see one of the workers escort them to a closed-off booth. She was even more surprised to see the table set with a fine cloth and a lit candle, making the mood romantic.
"How did—" she started.
"I called in a favor! I'm their best customer!" Tucker beamed, putting an arm around Jazz and escorted her to her seat.
"So —!" the boy in the red beret began, chin in hands as he leaned across the table with another calm, dreamy sort of smile.
"So —!" the redhead echoed, sitting similarly, smiling politely.
They shared a few blinks as their faces fell, growing slightly blank in the mounting tension.
"Uh…"
"Uhh…"
Tearing their gazes away, they glanced awkwardly around in opposite directions before Tucker whirled forward, blurting "I really like your hair!"
"— your beret!" Jazz overlapped.
More blinks, then their smiles slowly returned.
"You do?" the boy asked.
"Thanks!" the girl said, tugging a chunk of it over her shoulder and idly combing it.
Another few moments of silence. Tucker glanced aside. 'Well, you did it, Foley, you broke the ice…'
'…guess there's nothing left to do but…talk casual…' the redhead thought, eyes darting before meeting his again.
"So…" Jazz echoed, "Uh — what…kind of burger do you usually get here?" she asked, watching the candle's flame flicker.
"Well, uh, if I'm feeling really hungry, I'll go for the Mighty Meaty Cheesy Melt," the boy admitted.
"Oh, cool, I've had that before," the girl said with a genuine smile. "It's…pretty good."
Tucker's jaw dropped a little. "I didn't think girls ordered stuff like that! With the giant fries and everything?"
"Well…yeah, I mean…if you're hungry," Jazz said with a shrug.
"Cool," the boy said, verging on a grin. Pointing, he added "Don't tell me you play videogames, too…?"
"Well, not…yet, anyway. Besides Dad's training gear," the redhead said, looking sheepish, "But I…think they're really good for building hand-eye coordination and…well, they have been used in a lot of professional psychological tests for certain groundbreaking experiments. Not all the latest ones, but…y'know, certain…'old school' arcade-style titles. So…I…could see myself getting into them. But…y'know, I might…need a little help…at first. And I'd definitely be interested in seeing the whole spectrum and getting into the gamer psychology and all…"
She uttered a monosyllabic chuckle in spite of herself while Tucker sat with chin in hands, lids drooped, grin broad, as if he was seconds away from materializing a wedding ring with his mind and slipping it on her finger without a thought.
In the silence that followed, the boy twitched, realizing she was looking at him somewhat expectantly. "Well, yeah," he spoke up, "Psychology's cool — I mean, that's how people think and all…I mean, that's everything behind technology. And all. Why people make it, why they play games…why they play the games they play, stuff like that…right?"
"Uh-huh."
"And, uh, if you don't mind getting into gaming I'm totally for upping my game with…uh, all the mind science and stuff." 'Please don't sound lame, please don't sound lame…'
To his relief and delight, she chuckled "Wow, y'know…" glancing away again and curling her hair around her finger for a moment, "I —…I just never realized…" She trailed off; then faced forward. "So…why didn't we ever do this before? I mean, well, why didn't you ever ask me out like this before? It's…pretty clear we're compatible on…more than one level." And winked. 'Please don't be too of lame a pun, please don't be too lame of a pun…'
"Ahahh," Tucker chuckled, with a point and a return wink. Then frowned. "Wait, what — well…if you mean I…" 'I have no idea!' He paused for a moment, shifting his gaze to the table, looking up with a sheepish smile of his own. "I mean…I just thought…I wanted it to be the right time, y'know?"
"Right time?" she raised a brow, though not too high.
"Well, yeah, I mean…tonight just feels so perfect and all…I guess it just kinda came down to it…came down to 'fight or flight' and I…I chose to fight — for…my right…to romance." Adding a seductive inflection to the last two words, he scooped up her hand, leaned down and kissed it.
There was another very tangible silence for the next few moments. Jazz blinked, her face slightly blank. He'd either blown himself up spectacularly, or essentially scored. He was ready for her to back away slowly, turn around and bolt. He was ready for it, pulse pounding.
And then she just chuckled. And a bit dorkily, too. With a shoulder shrugging sigh and a calm grin, she said "It all just kind of came together. That makes sense," with a nod. "And…I'm really glad it did."
Now it was the boy's turn to look at her blankly. But bubbling behind that stare was something beyond the indescribable joy of a thousand games finally beaten after impossibly hard end bosses. There was no digital, technical equivalent.
He smiled. "I'm glad, too."
Danny cringed as he entered the final spa, as the man at the desk greeted him enthusiastically in the most over-the-top voice imaginable.
"Hiiii-!" he shouted. "Welcome to Pretty In Pink Spa and Massage Parlor! I'm Garrett! And you are?"
"Erm… Danny. Fenton. Danny Fenton." Danny was a bit taken aback by the man standing there, whispering to himself. "Someone needs to lower his happy pill dosage…"
"Hmm?" Garrett asked, causing Danny to simply shake his head and reply with "Nothing, nothing! Anyway, uh… Garrett… I was wondering if I could get pampered beyond my wildest dreams?"
"You got a hundred bucks?" Garrett's tone quickly flat-lined.
"No… but what would five bucks get me?"
"A peek into luxury!" The enthusiastic tone was back, as Garrett pointed inside the little "gate" set up to keep out the poor miscreants who didn't have the entry fee. Just inside, Danny spotted his target getting pampered, only Cupid now looked… more human. His wings had vanished, and he had ditched the diaper for a matching pink pair of trousers. He now stood about 5 feet 11 inches tall.
"There you are…" he whispered, starting to enter the gate before Garrett grabbed him by the back of the shirt.
"Ah ah ah, I said a peek. That'll be five bucks." Garrett frowned, the deadpan tone returning as Danny grumbled and handed over his only remaining five bucks. "Okay, now make way for the people who actually DO have money, kid."
Danny exited the spa with a sour look, as he thought for a second. Or rather… he would have, if not for the bevy of girls there waiting for him.
"THERE HE IS!" Paulina shouted.
"RIP HIM APART!" Star joined in the shout. "…And then take his remains home to love for all eternity!" she sighed dreamily.
"How did you all find me?!" he shouted. Paulina just pointed over to a familiar figure leaning against the corner. There, Vlad waved with a wicked grin.
"The clock's ticking, Daniel… but you have more pressing matters to attend to, now don't you?" he laughed as Danny ran off.
"DARN YOU VLAD-!"
Special thanks: Hitamukiissekiwa for co-authoring this chapter.